words in movies
Phoebe: (answering the phone) Hello? (Listens) Hey Joey!
[Cut to Las Vegas, Joey is on the phone and wearing his gladiator costume.]
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, uh can you do me a favor? I forgot the pin number to my ATM card can, can you get it for me?
Joey: Uh, I scratched it on the ATM machine down on the corner.
Joey: That's it! Thanks Pheebs!
Phoebe: (to Joey) Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler?
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Is that Joey?! (She nods yes) Let me talk to him!
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Joey: Uhh, my stunt double. Yeah, and y'know, he's getting a little too familiar for my tastes.
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: Uhh Pheebs, I heard that. Can you put him on?
Chandler: (To Joey) Hey!
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: Don't come out here!
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: I got that! I forgive ya! Don't come out here!
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: Well, I'm totally over it Chandler. Friends forever! Don't come out here!
A Tourist: (To Joey) Would you mind doing a picture with us?
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: Uh, Entertainment Tonight. [Cut to Chandler] Yeah, okay so, good talking to ya and don't come out here. All right. (Hangs up the phone and poses for that picture.)
Monica: For this weekend! Oh gosh, it would be perfect, we get to see Joey plus we get to start our anniversary celebration on the plane. We can call it out plane-aversary.
Chandler: Okay this is great, but Joey said he didn't want any of us out there.
Phoebe: Hey, you guys, listen, this weekend we're all gonna go to Las Vegas to surprise Joey! Including me!! You wanna go?!
Phoebe: For 99 cents, I'd eat you. (Sees the casino) Okay, I can totally settle down here. It's got everything I could ever want, including Joey! Look! (Points to Joey in his gladiator suit posing for a picture with two old ladies.) Oh! Look! Hi!
Phoebe: Hey! Joey! (They all head over to him, he spots them coming and panics.) Hey! Hey!! Wow! (She hugs him.)
Joey: Hi!
Joey: What-what are you guys doing here? I thought I told you not to come.
Joey: Uhh, because I'm shooting a scene right now. Yeah, I uh, I play a gladiator. Uh, y'know what? Hold-hold on a second. (To no one in particular) Can we cut? Yeah, my-my friends are here, I'm gonna take a little break.
Joey: They uh director. Uhh, her. (Points to an old woman standing behind him. Who glares at him and walks off.) All right, all right, it's not a gladiator movie. I work here.
Joey: Well, the movie got shutdown because they ran out of money, so I'm working here 'til it starts up again, if it ever does.
Joey: Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell ya. (To Chandler) I'm sorry man.
Joey: Yeah, what-what's going on?
Joey: Dawson?!
Joey: Aww, there we go.
Joey: Ooh, so close.
Joey: Whoa! Whoa! Guys! Please! Come on! Come on! This is obviously just a big misunderstanding.
Joey: Hey-hey don't look at me! I just work here! (Walks away.)
[Scene: Chandler's hotel room, he's sitting there with Joey who's talking about his helmet and running his hand through that feathery thing at the top.]
Joey: Hey, y'know in Roman times this was more than just a hat.
Joey: Yeah, sure! Sure! They would uh, they would scrub the floors with it! They would use it to get the mud off their shoe. And sometimes underneath the horse would get dirty so they would stick it right
Chandler: (interrupting in the nick of time) Joey, I uh! I can't believe this is how I'm spending my anniversary.
Joey: All right well, I'll take you someplace nice then. Look! A guy tipped me a hundred bucks today.
Joey: Yeah-yeah, he was playing blackjack for like an hour and he won $5,000. Can you believe that? $5,000!
Joey: Wait a minute! Why don't I do what that guy did? I'll take this $100 and turn it into $5,000! And then I'll turn that into enough money to get my movie going again!
Joey: Chandler! I don't need luck. I have thought this through!
(Joey exits as Chandler shakes his head.)
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Joey is approaching one of the blackjack tables on his quest to make enough money for his movie.]
Joey: (to the dealer) Can I change a hundred? (He hands him his chip.)
Joey: (betting all 100) Let's ride.
Joey: Hit me! (He does so.) Ohh man! (Joey busts and loses all the money, but when the dealer starts to collect the cards Joey notices something.) Wait! (He holds his hand next to the dealer's hand.)
[Cut to Chandler's room, Joey is relaying to Chandler his amazing discovery.]
Joey: Chandler! You are not gonna believe this! I have found my identical hand twin!
Joey: My identical hand twin!
Joey: What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror!
Joey: Dont you see what this means?! I can forget about that stupid movie. I'm gonna be a millionaire!
Joey: Look, I don't have it all worked out yet, but it's gotta mean big money! Come on! Identical hands!
Joey: This is Vegas man! People will pay to see freaky stuff! Okay, how much would you pay to see this hand (Holds up his left hand) twice? Huh?
Joey: Hey, are you unsupporting me again?
(Joey starts to leave to embark on his genius moneymaking scheme, but is freaked out slightly when as he goes to open the door, there's a mysterious knock. He calms himself down and opens the door to reveal Phoebe.)
Joey: Pheebs!!
Joey: I found my identical hand twin!
Chandler: That was Joey!
Joey: (entering) Hey-hey-hey you made it!
Ross: Joey!!
Joey: All right! Hey-hey!
Joey: Who's your friend? He's hot! (Ross laughs and Rachel smacks him with her purse.)
Ross: (To Joey) Thanks man.
Rachel: Hi. (She hugs Joey.)
Joey: No, don't be sorry. I don't need it anymore. I found my identical hand twin!
Joey: My identical hand twin! The person whose hands are exactly like mine! This thing is a gold mine!
Joey: Okay. Well, if that's how you feel about it, fine! None of you get to live with me in my great big hand-shaped mansion! Except uh, you Pheebs. You can live in the thumb.
Joey: (entering) Uhh, hey. Where's the other guy?
Joey: He's kinda tall, dark hair, hand looks exactly like this. (Holds up his hand.) See?
Joey: Okay! (Walks away, then turns back.) How you doin'?
Joey: Right! Okay. (Heads for the bathroom.)
[Scene: The Men's room, Joey is entering and sees his hand twin washing his hands.]
Joey: Oh-oh-oh, yeah! (He grabs some towels and takes them to him.) That's right, you take good care of those babies!
Joey: It's me, Joey!
Joey: (holds up his hand) Joey!
Joey: Okay, so what are we going to do about this hand twin thing?!
Joey: Look, you and I have been given a gift. Okay? We have to do something with it. Like-like, hand modeling! Huh? Or-or magic! And you know NASA's gonna wanna talk to us!
Joey: (stopping him) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! We could have our own show! Y'know we could clap our hands together people will love it! Huh? And-and-and I wrote a song for us! (Singing, to the tune of This Land is Your Land) This hand is your hand! This hand is my hand! Oh wait, that's your hand! No wait, it's my hand!
Joey: (following him) But you haven't even heard the chorus!
Joey: Hey!
Ross: Ohh, it's Joey! I love Joey! (Hugs him.)
Rachel: Ohh, I love Joey! Joey lives with a duck! (Goes and hugs Joey.)
Joey: Hi!
Joey: Look-look-look you guys, I need some help! Okay? Someone is going to have to convince my hand twin to cooperate!
Ross: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. (He starts to sit down on the bed. There's one problem though, he's about two feet to the left of it. Needless to say, he misses and falls on his butt.) (Looking up at Joey.) Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
Joey: Yeah! I'm fine! Thanks! (He starts to leave, but gets an idea and stops.) Hey Rach, how you doin'?
Joey: Ross, don't let her drink anymore! (Exits)
[Scene: A blackjack table, Joey is moving in to try and get his hand twin (who's dealing) to join him in his evil plot to rule the world! "Join me, and together we'll rule the universe as father and son!" (Sorry, I had a little Star Wars creep in thereOoh, I have a big spoiler for The Phantom Menace, Yoda lives at the end! Ha-ha, spoiled it! Now you don't have to see it!)]
Joey: (sitting down) Ahhh! (Slides his hands across the table.)
Joey: No-no, I don't really have any money. Not yet, anyway (Shakes his hands.)
Joey: (throws down a small wad of money, and as his hand twin starts to unfold it, Joey once again brings attention to their special gift to the world. {Y'know, looking at it now, they really don't have that similar of hands. Joey's are bigger.}) Ooh-ho-ho! (The dealer stares at him and he stops.)
Joey's Hand Twin: (To Joey) 14.
Joey: Hit me! (He does so.)
Joey: Uhh, Ms. Phalange, may I ask you a question as an impartial person at-at this table?
Joey: Wouldn't you pay good money to see these identical hands showcased in some type of a uh, entertainment venue?
Joey's Hand Twin: (To Joey) If you leave now, I will chop off my hand and give it too you!
Joey's Hand Twin: Please, please take him too. (Motions to Joey.)
Joey: Me?! Oh come on, man! You can't do this! Come on! (Being dragged out by the guard) I'm your hand twin!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica switches off the VCR. Joey and Chandler are behind the couch.]
JOEY: Oooh.
Rachel: (running from the guy's apartment with Joey in tow) Hey, what's-what's going on?!
Joey: No room? Its a baby. Its like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Yknow, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, its cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldnt even notice it. Wheres the baby? (Mumbles that its over in the corner.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is getting help writing his vows from Joey and Ross.]
JOEY: Forget about it.
Amy: We’re gonna be roomies! (she snaps her finger and points at Joey, snaps her fingers again and points to the bags) Come on!
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? (measures about 2 inches with his thumb and index finger) This is your baby. (in baby-like voice) Hi Daddy!
Joey: Just being friendly. (He gives Monica a whats wrong with you? look and proceeds to walk behind the counter.)
CHANDLER: Joey!
JOEY: Ma?
CHANDLER: Joey?
[Chandler and Joey are watching, Rachel turns their heads away from Monica.]
JOEY: Are you naked in there?
Monica: Oh, what a great argument, exhaling! All right, y'know what, Ill prove it to you, okay. Ill trade you Joey for Rachel, and Ill still win the game.
JOEY: Well, let me see.
JOEY: Chandler's wearing panties.
ROSS: [to Joey who's looking over a toilet stall] Joey, some people don't like that.
[Ross enters, sees Joey in the mirror]
JOEY: Pheebs, who's Evelyn Dermer?
[Joey enters]
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Joey: Yeah, well, you don't have your racket.
JOEY: Aaaaagggghhhhh.
JOEY: Hey.
Joey: Oh uh, well I just came in for a cup of coffee to go.
Joey: Well Ross was hangin out over at our place, Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturiser from Chandler....
JOEY: Eight hundred and twelve bucks.
JOEY: Put it on.
Joey: Hey, best man number two, Joey Tribbiani. Now Im not good with the jokes like Chandler here. Boy...but ahh, I just want to say congratulation to the happy couple. I first met Ross in this coffee house back home...Home...New York City...Where everybody knows my name. Well anyway, I love you guys. (pointing at everyone.) But not as much as I love America. (Looking at Chandler.) Could we please..go home now?
Joey: Barmifsaed?
Joey: (smiling) I'm in it.
JOEY: Heh, what d'ya say?
Janine: (entering from her room) Monica! Chandler! Im really-really sorry about tonight. I dont know if Joey told you; I just couldnt get out of going to this play. Im sorry. Have a great time.
Rachel: Perfect. Fasten your seatbelts, it's peepee time. (She goes into Joey and Chandler's apartment, where Mr. Tribbiani is reading the paper) Hey, Mr. Trib.
Joey: No. (Pause) wait a minute what was the little mermaid?
Charlie: I guess. There was hum... (she breathes deeply) there was another reason that I thought it was time to end it with Joey. I started to realize that I was having feelings for someone (pause) else.
(Joey whispers in Rachels ear to confirm his response.)
Joey: What's he doin' in my section?
Rachel: Dont just say yes! This isnt a game, Joey you can really get hurt out here. Okay, so do you want to pay attention or do you want to die?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey and Chandler are there eating breakfast.]
Joey: (walking towards her to hold her and support her) Monica, you understand what we are saying, right?
JOEY: If you hated the bracelet so much, Chandler, you should have just said so.
Joey: (squinting his eyes) Are you kiddin'? I think I just saw a bat in the corner!
The Interviewer: (returning) So, as Joeys friends, is there anything that you guys think our readers ought to know?
[Scene: Terrys office, Joey has come to beg for a second chance.]
JOEY: Aaaaagggghhhhh. Mommy
Joey: (sipping red wine from a glass) Who says that wine has to cost more than milk!
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: Get out.
JOEY: How come you have two?
JOEY: [pulls out a VCR tape] Hey Monica, what's on this video tape?
JOEY: What is with your nose?
JOEY: Some girl ate Monica.
Joey: All right, dont waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)
Rachel: All right, look. Why don't you just return the book, let Joey give her the clock pen, and you give her something worse than that. Like... a regular pen.
Joey: You guys, this is Shelley, shes interviewing me for Soap Opera Digest, and Shelley, this are my friends
JOEY: I know.
JOEY: Uh-huh.
MR A: [to Joey] Worth a shot, huh?
JOEY: Huh? Days of our Lives picked up my option.
JOEY: [sits down] Ohh yeah, that's the stuff.
Joey: If he goes first he can!
Chandler: Where did you, when did you, how did you... (Joey hits the back of Chandler's head) How did you get a girl like that?
Ross: (Pause) Of course I am! (Joey is relieved) Okay, let's go godfather.
JOEY: I'm excited! I've never gotten reviewed before.
JOEY: What if we have to pee?
Janine: Joey, its Anne Geddes. Shes a famous artist.
JOEY: We dare.
Joey: All right, all right, all right. (Starts to leave, stops, and turns around) I mean Ill have to check with him first, but Ill think hell be cool with it. (Monica shoos him out.)
JOEY: Hi.
JOEY: She laughed at you?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is seated, and the apartment is filled with baskets of fruit. Joey enters, check in hand.]
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey.
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: What're you doin' here? Aren't you supposed to be out with Rachel?
Chandler: My chair. Now, if anybody asks, your name is Rosita! (He runs out the door, grabs the back of Rosita, and we can hear Joey and Rachel talking as they are coming up the stairs. Neither of them have reached the landing yet.)
Joey: But Rachel has an apartment.
Joey: " by doin it."
CHANDLER, JOEY, and PHOEBE: Hey.
JOEY: No, inside good, outside bad.
Joey: Oh well, theyre killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body.
Joey: "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!"
Joey: Hey Mr. and Mrs. Geller! Let me help you with that.
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Chandler and Joey are leading Ross in.]
Joey: (grabs the window from the outside and sticks his head in) (whispering) When is she leaving?
Joey: Okay. (He grabs a jelly donut, takes a bite, and guess what he spills all over himself. He tries to clean it up and smears it all over the shirt.)
Joey: Well, he's gonna. I'll see you a little later, ok? (To the Hombre Man) Hey, how ya doin'?
CHANDLER: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat.
Joey: What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula.
JOEY: What?
JOEY: Yeah, so.
Joey: Well, ah, Im an actor. Im fairly neat. I ah, I got my own TV. Oh, and dont worry Im totally okay with the gay thing.
JOEY: Hey.
Joey: Thats right! Cause Im a Tribbiani! (To Rachel) And this is what we do! I mean we may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we dont read a lot or run very fast, but damnit! We can eat!
JOEY: So where you gettin' it?
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Joey: You were right before. I mean, friends are so important.
JOEY: All right, all right. "Damnit Braverman, it's right there on the chart!"
JOEY: Yeah, can you see me in a place like this?