words in movies
Joey: (entering) Hey! I'm all packed and ready to go!
Ross: Oh, that's right! (to Emma) Daddy and uncle Joey are going on a trip today. We're going to a conference in Barbados, right?
Joey: Mmh-mmh.
Joey: Barbados!
Joey: All right, let's do it! 5 hour flight with Charlie, have a couple of drinks, get under that blanket and do what comes naturally.
Joey: I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! (A woman goes towards them)
Joey: (to Charlie) I think I've been recognized, this happens all the time!
Joey: That... never happens...
Ross: Yeah, oh and Sarah... I'd like to introduce you to my colleague, uh, Professor Wheeler, a-and this is Joey Tribbiani.
Sarah: (to Joey) Are you a paleontologist?
Joey: No, God, no! No! No no, I'm an actor. You'd probably recognize me from a little show called "The Days of Our Lives".
Joey: (thinking he's kidding) Ok, Ross! It's... It's fun, yeah! No, I-I play Doctor Drake Ramoray.
Joey: You don't own a TV? What's all your furniture pointed at??
Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.
[Scene: Joey in his hotel in room in Barbados]
Joey: Yeah! How you doin'? Yeah alright!
Joey: Hey, hey! You said you're gonna wear a thong, where's the thong?
Joey: You really should have been more clear about that!
(Someone knocks the door, Joey goes to open it and Ross is on the other side)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh! ah! eh... Britney Spears!?
Joey: You could say: "Hey Kenny, how come you're not Britney Spears?" (looks at Ross matter-of-factly)
Joey: Wha...? You're gonna go now? I thought we could hang out?
Joey: (smiling) Will you wear a thong?
Joey: Oh... you got yourself a very weird deal!
Joey: Yeah, yeah. I've got tons of stuff I could do. I'm gonna hit the beach, go swimming...
Joey: No, why?
Joey: Oh man!
Joey: I wasn't gonna swim, I was gonna dig a hole! (removes a small plastic spade used by children to play on the beach from his backpack)
(Joey spots them and walks towards them)
Joey: Oh! Hey! Thank God you guys are here!
Joey: Everything is upside down here! It rains all day long, nobody watches tv and Ross is famous!
Joey: Come on, I'll show you guys where to check in (Joey, Chandler and David leave)
Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.
Phoebe: Not Joey.
Rachel: Not Joey, no, I was just lusting after Chandler.
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
Joey: Hey guys!
Joey: Damnit!
Joey: Oh what, did someone outbid you for the teapot? (Chandler looks annoyed at him and Joey leans in to him) Oh! Secret teapot?
Joey: It's really gone?
Joey: I could teach you a speech that I memorized for auditions.
Charlie: Oh wait, Joey and I are supposed to have dinner (Looks at Joey).
Joey: Hey don't worry about that! I mean, Ross needs you! And Rachel and I will stay and help anyway we can.
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
[Scene: The hall, full of paleontologists. Rachel and Joey are walking around]
Joey: I'm so bored! Stupid rain, we... we can't do anything.
Joey: Hey, it hasn't come to that yet.
Joey: (stopping the waiter) Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do!
Joey: Hey Rach, do you feel like going to a convention?
Joey: (walking to a table with many badges on it) I know we're not, but (he picks up a badge) Frank Medeio and... (picks up another badge) Eva Trorro... womba...
Joey: Kate Miller it is. (he picks up the Kate Miller badge and sticks it on Rachel's breast)
Joey: In that case should I make sure it's on real good? (he does so, repeatedly tapping on her breast and stroking it)
[Scene: the Pharmacist convention. Joey and Rachel are walking out of it, drinking cocktails]
Joey: Well, who knew? Pharmacists are fun.
Joey: Not enough pills in the world, Rach. What about you, you're the single one, seen anybody in there you like?
Joey: But what about back home, anything going on there? Anybody you like?
Joey: There it is, you're blushing!
Joey: You like someone. Tell me who it is. Who is it? (tickles her a little)
Joey: Tell me who it is.
Rachel: Joey! (she walks away; Joey goes after her teasing and tickling her)
Joey: Come on who? Who do you like? Tell me. You're not getting away that easy. Who do you like, who?
Rachel: Joey, come on! It doesn't matter, you know, it's not like anything's gonna happen.
Joey: What? Why not? Rach, who can you not get?
Joey: (eagerly) Yeah, who is that?
Joey: Yeah.
(Joey smiles at them. Rachel looks annoyed)
Charlie: (to Joey) I just left you a message! Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite, but now that you're here, maybe we can go have that dinner.
Joey: Right, of course. Hey, did you guys finish the speech?
Joey: Alright, hey look, and this isn't over, because I really wanna know who...
Joey: Yeah. (they leave)
Joey: Night.
(Joey laughs)
Joey: He said "erectus"!
Joey: No, he really said it.
Joey: Erectus?
Joey: Yeah, and so funny!
(Rachel, Joey and Chandler pat him on his shoulders and walk off, together with Monica)
[Scene: Joey and Charlie's room]
(Joey is sitting in an armchair and wearing a diving mask. He pulls out a grape from a bunch of fake grapes on the coffee table, puts it on the snorkel's breathing tube and blows it out, then giggles to himself)
Joey: Hey! (stands up) As soon as it stops raining we have got to go snorkeling! Some kid told me about the sea turtle and, if you blow bubbles in its face, it chases ya! (smiles ecstatic)
Joey: (disappointed) Oh... oh, but that's ok, I'll find someone else to do it... I'll do it alone, but... I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you...
Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face)
Joey: (bewildered) Oh! Oh, well! At least we're both having fun!
Joey: Yeah! A little bit, yeah...
Joey: Yeah... I think we do... (sighs, with folded arms)... about what?
Rachel: It's open! (Joey walks in) Hi, Joe!
Joey: (downhearted) Hey...
Joey: Uh... Charlie and I broke up.
Joey: Oh well, she said we have nothing in common.
Joey: No, it's not, we have nothing in common!
Joey: I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull!
Joey: (laughing sarcastically) Ok, Rach!
Joey: I feel so stupid, you know? Why... why do I keep going after the wrong girls?
Joey: Oh, c'mon, I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie, and it's like... (sighs) What the hell is my problem? OH! (He falls back on the bed)
Joey: (sitting up again) I'm telling you, Rach, Charlie is not right for me!
Joey: But then who? The waitress I went out with last month? (gives her a meaningful look)
Joey: (stands up) No-no-no-no, no! Who, who were you talking about?
Joey: Ok! All right, well... I'm gonna see if I can get a room for the night and I'll... I'll see you later!
(Joey walks out, while Rachel is pensive. Once he's out of her room, he suddenly realizes who she was talking about and goes back in. He looks at her in disbelief and she looks like she was caught red-handed)
[Scene: Rachel's hotel room. Joey is standing at the door, facing Rachel]
Joey: You like me? (shuts the door)
Joey: (shocked) That's a huge thing!
Joey: What... for how long?
Joey: (outraged) A MONTH??
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
Joey: (stands up) I just have one question!
Joey: (desperate) What the hell are you doin'???
Joey: Uh, am I curious? I mean, I am as curious as... as... George!!
Joey: CURIOUS GEORGE (see link)! You know, the monkey, and the guy with the yellow hat!
Joey: Yeah, he had a paper route.
Joey: No, I know, yeah I know we're great but Rach no... this... this can't happen!
Joey: (charmed, but then recoiling) NO, NO! It can't happen at all!
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross!
Joey: I know, I know! But I've thought about it a lot since, and it just wouldn't be right... (painfully) I'm sorry...!
Joey: NO! No-no-no-no-no-no! Hey! Hey, we'll be fine! Li... hey, like you said: no big deal!
Joey: NO BIG DEAL!
Joey: Yeah! I'll see ya later! Yeah!
(Joey falls backwards into the room)
(Joey hurriedly stands up, arms akimbo, gives her an embarrassed look and walks away)
Charlie: Uh, well... Joey and I broke up.
Charlie: Joey is a great guy, but we're just... so different! I mean, during your speech he kept laughing at homo erectus!
Charlie: I guess. There was hum... (she breathes deeply) there was another reason that I thought it was time to end it with Joey. I started to realize that I was having feelings for someone (pause) else.
Charlie: Hum, so, I started to say you something earlier, hum... (pause) There was another reason I realized it was time to end it with Joey. I kind of realized I... was starting to have feelings... for someone else.
(Joey walks in and sees Ross and Charlie kissing. He gives a faint, rueful smile, then he seems to recollect something and suddenly he moves back to Rachel's room. He knocks on her door and she opens)
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
Joey: Yeah, and oh she's really nice too. She taught me all about how to work the cameras, and smell-the-fart acting.
Chandler: Okay, well Im gonna get Ross, get the cameras, and get them developed. (Joey laughs again.) 32 Joe. Youre 32! (Exits)
(Cut to Joey watching TV in the corner. He makes an extravagant gesture of disappointment.)
(No one can and Monica looks at Joey expectantly.)
Joey: No-no-no, please-please Chandler I-I-I would owe you so much!
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
JOEY: (emerging) Bedroom is clear, although you might need some new pillows.
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
Joey: Yeah, or you can teach him a lesson. Y'know? What you could do is you could rub something that really smells on your butt, all right? Then, when he goes to smack ya, his hand will smell. (thinking aloud) Now what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?
Joey: I didnt know it was an auction!
Joey: Right-right up here. (Starts looking at them through a piece of pipe.)
Rachel: Oh, isn't that adorable? Joey is afraid of the tarantula.
Joey: Hey! (he throws the basketball against a table again)
Joey: Because it's impossible to find her apartment! She lives in some like of hot girl parallel universe, or something.
Rachel: The beef? Yeah, that was weird to me, too. But then, yknow, I thought well, theres mincemeat pie, I mean thats an English dessert, these people just put very strange things in their food, yknow. [To Joey] Oh! by the way, can I borrow some Rum from your place?
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad .
Joey: No-no, she kicked our butts. You could be on the Olympic standing-there team.
Joey: Hey, Monica, wow youve been in the bathroom for like a half-hour.
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
Joey: (after a long pause he starts miming again) I'm cold!
Joey: (to the fan) So, you saw me on Days Of Our Lives huh? Want me to, want me to do a little Dr. Drake Remoray for ya?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are watching one of those Kung Fu movies and imitating the moves.]
Joey: No, I don't think it's just about just getting a girlfriend. Y'know? I mean, yeah, I can get a girlfriend! Yeah, we could sit in the chair and do crosswords, but y'know are we ever going to have y'know the closeness like-like you guys have?
Rachel: HuhWait so Joey if you get this, youre gonna be like the star of your own TV show! I mean youll be like the Big Cheese! (To Phoebe) Or the Big MacHey! You love those!
Joey: Somehow they got the idea that you only invited them because of me. They feel a little unwanted.
Joey: I don't believe this... Have you guys been...
JOEY: It just seems so futile, you know ? All these women, and nothing. I feel like Superman without my powers, you know? I have the cape, and yet I cannot fly.
JOEY: Oh come on. Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other and I wanna know which.
Joey: Okay. I will. Ohh! Check out what they got me to wear for the ceremony! (Runs to his apartment and returns wearing a rather silly hat.) Huh? I wear it like this when I marry you guys, and then this (He tilts it to the side of his head) is for party time.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hes got a, hes got a really bad cough, and our vet, he cant do anything about it. Is there something you can do?
Ross: Oh Rach thats great. Thats great. (They hug and Joey breathes a sigh of relief.)
Joey: Dude! Hernia operations cost like, a lot probably. Besides its getting darker and more painful, that means its healing.
Phoebe: Well you all know that I'm a pacifist so I'm not interested in war in any way. (Gets up) But y'know what? When the revolution comes, I will have to destroy you all. (Starts to leave.) (To Joey) Not you Joey.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no, I saw an ad for this video, people climb that thing everyday! We could totally do that!
Joey: So I just talked to one of the DOOL writers today, and
Ross: 30 seconds on the clock. 5 questions wins the game. The lightning round begins now! What is Joeys favorite food?
Joey: (sarcastic) Oh no this is devastating! My faith is shaken. Im so glad I have the new chair to get my through this difficult time in my life.
Joey: Okay, hey, museum geeks, partys over. Okay. Wave bye-bye to the nice lady. There you go. Back to your parents basement. All right. (The museum geeks exit and Joey unlocks his door and lets the chick and the duck out.) Come on boys, come on out! Here you go. All right.
Hayley's roommate: Hey Hayley you've really gotta fix that doorknob. Joey!
Joey: (ducking) Get down!
Joey: Hey Mon, you might wanna make some more lasagna too, because something mightve happened to a huge chunk of it.
[Scene: A Medical Research Office, Joey is there to sign up for an experiment, any experiment.]
JOEY: [as they're walking out, Dr. Greene questioningly gestures at the Happy Birthday sign over the door] This is clearly in the wrong apartment. [they all walk across the hall]
(Joey gets up and heads for the door. After a pause Ross decides to join him.)
Chandler: Well uh, Archie needs money to fix his jalopy (Joey laughs), uh but he doesnt want Reggie to just give him the money. So Reggie hires him as his assistas his butler. And then makes him do all these crazy things like bring him milkshakes that cant have lumps in them.
Joey: your right! I love my life! (He gets up to go and speak to the girl and he turns back and sits down) I actually did sleep with her.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is closing the door on the tarantula cage.]
Joey: No-no-no I've seen it happen, you-you get a rapport going with a woman but somehow you manage to kill it. What's your secret?
Joey: Oh, you have no idea. And-and when were on stage I get to-to kiss her and-and touch her, but then she goes home with the director, and its like somebodys ripping out my heart!
Joey: No, no! (they all go towards the balcony but they get jammed in the window)
Joey: I dont need that anymore.
Joey: (running from his bedroom) Oh my God! I overslept! I was supposed to be on the set a half an hour ago! I gotta get out of here!
Monica: Well yknow Joey, youre a pretty charming guy.
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Joey: In my spare time I uh, read to the blind. And Im also a mento for the kids.(The gang shake their heads.) Yknow a mento, a role model. (Chandler bites his fist to keep from talking.)
Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, (As he is speaking, Joey and the volunteer getting into a shoving match.) and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do (Joey is knocked down.) is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to (Just as the volunteer sits down, Joey pulls him to the ground.)
Joey: Chandler. Will you see if your mom can give my resume to Dennis Phillips? Cause if I can get in a Broadway show then I wouldve done it all, film, television, and theater. The only think left would be radio, and thats just for ugly people.
Joey: Ross bruises like a peach. He bruises like a peach.
Joey: Oh thats too bad. Ive kinda been saving up. (She just looks at him in horror.) Uh, are you sure theres no studies I can participate in?
Joey: I can do that! (in a deeper voice) "Hello, I'm your professor. When I'm not busy thinking of important things or... professing. I like to use..." Oh, what's the product?
JOEY: Thanks, yeah. I love this but ya know what, it makes me wanna pee.
Joey: Good-good, okay, sprinkle some of that on your legs, it'll absorb some of the moisture and then you can get your pants back up.
Monica: Hey Joey, sweetie, taste this. (Holds out a spoon for him.)
Joey: I had a dream once about a fax machine that did that. (Ross picks it up)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering with a pizza and finds everyone but Ross there.]
(Phoebe smiles, when Joey takes her face in his hands and kisses her. Joey gets up to leave but stops suddenly. Phoebe silently shouts "Oh, whoa!!" to herself, and leans back in the sofa to recover, a hand to her tingling lips. A thoughtful Joey is also feeling his lips, so he hesitates for a moment, then returns for a better view, he thinks again, cocking his head from side to side to regard her profile from various angles, then...)
Monica: Now Joey, you go down there and you suck up to him. I mean you suck like youve never sucked before!
Joey: All right, watch me! (he takes a full container of milk from the fridge) Okay, you time me. Ready?
Joey: Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to.
[Scene: The desert outside of Las Vegas, Joey is arriving and we hear the song, Name. Y'know, (singing) I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain. In the desert, you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La la la-la-la, la, la, la, la-la-la. You get the idea. Anyhoo, he pulls up and stops. As he gets out of the car, he spills a huge pill of fast food containers out of the foot well.]
Joey: Uhhhh.... I'll just pee in the street.
Joey: Okay. All right. Umm, so uh, so how did it happen? Did your eyes meet across the room? And then the next thing yknow youre in the bathtub together and shes feeding you strawberries?
Joey: (sets the coffee down) Y'know, breadstick fangs are always funny.
Joey: Oh no! No-no, keep reading! The good part's coming up. Keep going.
(Now Joey also wants to listen, and wants to press his ears against the door, which has a big mirror on it, he hesitates seeing himself in the mirror, but still puts his ear against it. We move again to Rachel's room.)
Joey: Hey-hey! Stanley! Hey-hey! You're leading man is here! Let's get to work.
[Scene: The corridor. Amy knocks Joey’s door and Rachel opens the door.]
Joey: (entering) He's back! The peeper's back!
JOEY: No no, uh, don't thank me for comin' in. Uh, at least let me finish. Uh, we could take the expressway but uh, this time of day you're better off taking the budge. You were goin' for the word bridge there weren't ya. I'll have a good day. [gets up and leaves]
[Cut to Chandler's room, Joey is relaying to Chandler his amazing discovery.]
Rachel: (sarcastically) Yeah. Look Joey, its enough all right?! You keep making these stupid jokes and this sleazy innuendoes and itsIm notits just not funny anymore!
Joey: (sitting at the kitchen table with his back to the TV) You sick bastards!
Joey: Im sending back all this stuff that Chandler bought out of guilt.
Joey: Oh, uh... don't forget your coupon. (Tries to strike a sexy pose up against the doorway to his room. Then goes inside).
Joey: Both of us? (points to Chandler and himself)
[The next one is from Episode 603: The One With Rosss Denial, Joey is amazing Phoebe and Monica by holding his breath.]
Joey: Oh Monica. (goes over and hugs her, then looks at the form and stops hugging her.) Wow, this guy's an astronaut. That would've been cool, (sees Monica) for like a day. (hugs her again).
Ross: That was the water fountain! Okay?! Anyway, people are writing reports for me, uh pushing back deadlines to meet my schedule, I'm telling you, you get tough with people you can get anything you want. (Joey walks by with a cup of coffee.) Hey Tribbiani, give me that coffee! Now!
Rachel: All right, all right, you're right, I won't do anything with Joey, I just thought that we (Joey enters the hall) Ok so that would be two cups of tarragon, one pound of baking soda and one red onion? (Joey enters his apartment)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
Joey: Oh, its a poster for that World War I movie that Im in, check it out.
Joey: Hey! (Singing) Get into gear!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is filing her nails as Ross and Ben enter.]
[In slow motion, as some haunty demonic music plays in the background, Joey throws the ball in, Chandler quits playing and goes for his Chinese food. Joey smacks the ball really hard, shooting it down the table. Chandler slowly takes a bite, the ball bounces off of the wall, heads back up the table, and scores the goal for Chandler.]
Rachel: Okay Joey, were luffing a little bit, so could you tighten up the cunningham? (The mainsail has started to flap in the wind and has stopped working efficiently; she wants him to tighten it so that it starts working again.)
CHANDLER: OK, well that's the part where I'm a wank. But I was hoping we wouldn't focus on that. [Joey goes to his room and shuts the door] Hey, c'mon man, I said I was sorry like a hundred times, I promise I will never take it off my. . . [notices the bracelet is missing from his wrist] wrist. But if, if you want to stay in there and be mad, you know, you just uh, you stay in there. [he starts searching the room, lifting up the couch cushions]
Joey: Oh, nothing, no. Its an acting exercise, Im practising my fake laugh.
[Scene: Inside Joeys Premiere, he is intently watching the movie.]