words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is showing Ross, Rachel, Joey, and Phoebe his engagement ring again.]
Joey: Okay listen, how are you gonna ask her?
Joey: That sounds perfect!
Joey: Youre gonna mess it up let me do it.
Joey: Hey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Hey Rach!
Joey: Where are you going?
Rachel: How about you guys? (Points to Phoebe and Joey.)
Joey: Hey, yknow what? Ill come too. Im making money now; its about time I give something back.
Joey: Okay. Have a benefit.
Joey: Thats not what she said last night. (Ross glares at him.)
Chandler: Will you marry me? Will you marry me? (Makes like a gun with his fingers.) Hey, you marry me! (He gives up as Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, and Ross slink in all excited.) Whats going on little elves?
Joey: Its the big night! We wanted to wish you good luck!
Rachel: And I also brought my friend Joey
Joey: (behind them) Oh!! Shrimp toast! (Walks right past the little group on his way for the shrimp toast.)
Joey: Hey!
Mr. Thompson: And finally, our biggest item of the night, the 22-foot gentlemans day sailer sailboat. The winning bid was a whooping $20,000! (Joey suddenly gets excited.)
Joey: I won! That was my guess!
Joey: I guessed 20,000!
Rachel: Joey! It is an auction! You dont guess, you buy!
Joey: What?! I dont have 20,000!
Mr. Thompson: Congratulations on your new boat, Joey Tribbiani!!
Rachel: Joey! Sit down! (Pulls him down.)
Phoebe: Forget her! You enjoy this!! (Pulls him back up and starts applauding again. Joey waves and does a salute.]
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are sitting at their table.]
Joey: I didnt know it was an auction!
Joey: I figured, take a guess, help a charity, free boat!
Joey: I dont know! Charity?
Joey: Oh hi!
Joey: Just out of curiosity, how-how much is that boat worth?
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey, I was pretty close. (She just glares at him.) Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I cant buy the boat, I dont have any money.
Rachel: Joey! Joey, good one! (Mr. Thompson starts to laugh.)
(After hes left, Rachel stops laughing and glares at Joey again.)
Joey: So uh listen, I think Im gonna take off now. (Starts to get up.)
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey! You cant leave Joey! You agreed to buy that boat, all right?! That is a contract! And plus if you leave, my boss is gonna kill me!
Joey: Well, what am I gonna do Rach?! I dont have that kind of money!
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Look, I dont know why the kids need a youth center anyway! Yknow? They should just watch TV after school like I did and I turned out fine!
{Transcribers Note: For further reading on the above story, please check out The One Where Joey Moves Out.}
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel and Phoebe are sitting at the table as Joey approaches.]
Joey: Rach! Rachel! Okay, the next highest bidder is at table one.
Joey: (To Phoebe) Oh and uh the guy who got the Paris trip is at table four.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel approaching table one.]
Joey: Uhh, excuse me is there a Mr. Bowmont at this table?
Joey: Ahh, yes. (Pushes Rachel in front of himself so that she could do the talking.)
Joey: You-you have to pay that! Its not just a guess.
Rachel: (To Joey) Okay. Okay. (Shushes him.)
Joey: Are you kidding me?! Shes gonna this boat!
Joey: Aw-awww!
Joey: Oooooh
Joey: No way! Its mine!!
Rachel: (To Joey) What?! What?!
Joey: All that stuff you just said? I want that!
Rachel: But Joey you dont have $20,000!
Joey: Who cares?! I-Ill make payments, whatever it takes, I want the Mr. Bowmont!!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is taking out the garbage as Phoebe and Joey enter. Phoebe gasps.]
Joey: Oh my God, youre back!
Joey: Yeah.
(Chandler puts his face in his hands as Joey and Phoebe start to examine the trash.)
Joey: What?! Noooo (Phoebe gasps.)
Joey: We didnt ruin it!
Joey: Glove salesman!
Joey: Hey, being you is finally gonna pay off! (They give each other fives.)
Joey: That guys still doing that?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is looking out the window and Joey is sitting on the couch.]
Joey: Yeah! And also, a little like a French guy. (They both squint at each other.) I never noticed that before.
Joey: Hey!
Chandler: Oh, just hanging out, talkin about uh, websites. (Joey laughs.) Yeah, we saw this really interesting website about marriage and how totally unnecessary it is and how its just a way for the government to keep tabs on you.
Joey: (laughs) Yeah, Big Brother.
Joey: (all excited) The Mr. Bowmonts here!!! (Jumps over the back off the couch and runs out into the street.)
(Joey enters looking like Captain Stubing from the Love Boat.)
Joey: Hey uh, have you guys scene Chandler?
Phoebe: Joey.
Rachel: Joey?!
Rachel: Wh So If neither of you are married by the time youre 40, youre gonna marry Joey.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey, still looking like Captain Stubing, is practicing his slipknots as Monica enters.]
Joey: Hey Monica!
Joey: This is for my boat, pretty cool huh?
Joey: Whoa-whoa, whats the matter?! Talk to the captain!
Joey: Chandler giving you a hard time huh?
Joey: Well, you know Chandler.
Joey: Maybe you changed?
Joey: Maybe thats the problem.
Joey: Chandler is a complex fellow, one who is unlikely to take a wife.
Joey: I dont know! (All excited) I havent totally decided how to talk on my boat yet.
Joey: Monica face it, Chandler is against marriage. And-and always will be!
Joey: There are?
Joey: R-R-Richard said he wants to marry you?! (Monica nods yes.) And-and Chandlers tellin ya how much he hates marriage?!
Joey: Chandler loves marriage!!
Joey: You got that from what I said?!
Rachel: Phoebe?! Wait abut-but she just, she said that Joey was her backup.
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is entering to find Joey, still looking like Captain Stubing, on the phone.]
Joey: Where the hell have you been?!
Joey: Richard told Monica he wants to marry her!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah, Ive been trying to find ya to tell to stop messing with her and maybe I would have if these (lifts a leg) damn boat shoes wouldnt keep flying off!
Joey: I know! They suck!!
Joey: I know!
Joey: Look, Chandler I dont think us getting our asses kicked is a solution. Okay? Just go and find Monica!
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Dude-dude-dude!
Joey: Let me know about that coconut phone, it might great for the boat.
Rachel: Phoebe! You picked Joey and Ross?! You can not have two backups!
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Phoebe! Were both (points at Ross and himself) your backup?!
Joey: No we werent!
Joey: Pick me!!
Phoebe: All right well lets see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boatThis is hard!
Joey: This is crazy! Hey look, I wanna switch to Rachel!
(She turns her head away and when shes not looking, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths, "No, Im not." Both Joey and Ross smile, look at each other, and then stop smiling.)
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
Joey: Okay thats fair.
Rachel: (reading) Joey! (Pause) We should just switch.
Joey: Yeah.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is running up the stairs and towards his apartment, but Joey is taking out the garbage at the same time and stops him in the hall.]
Joey: Dude!
Joey: Shes gone.
Joey: Shes gone. She had a bag and she left.
Joey: She was all crying. She-she said you guys want different things, and that and that she needed time to think.
Joey: I-I did! I told her everything, Chandler! But she wouldnt believe me.
Joey: To her parents I think and she said you shouldnt call her. But if I were you I would.
Joey: I am so sorry man.
(He turns to look at Joey who smiles slyly and closes the door leaving them alone.)
Joey: (yelling through the door) Can we come it yet?! Were dying out here!
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Joey: Yeah!
Lydia: Joey Tribbiani. Yes, ok. Hold on. (to Joey) She wants to talk to you. Take the phone.
Joey: Tribbiani.
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Joey: Ok, look, maybe I should just go.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Hyper-competitive Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are still playing catch. Monica is finally tiring while the rest of them are totally exhausted and virtually asleep.]
Joey: It is.
Joey: Oh, it is.
Joey: (To some people) Hey! Hey alright! Hey, glad you could make it (Shakes a man's hand) Thanks for coming.
Nurse: (to Joey) Breathe, breathe, breathe.
Joey: Fungus! Yeah. Place is full of it.
JOEY: Ya know, one of these times you're gonna really be naked and we're not gonna come over.
Joey: Oh, just had a baby.
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
(They realize the implication of their behavior, stop instantly and head for his bedroom. In the meanwhile, Joey is starring at Rachel in a seductive way.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is holding a football helmet; and apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat him senseless. (Luckily it isnt a long trip.) Because hes made a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of all those free surgeries he can get now since hes re-established his health insurance.]
Joey: Ho-ho-ho, (pausing for a rest next to the fridge) fried stuff with cheese!
Joey: Which helps him get to Phase Three, picturing yourself with other women.
Joey: I know. I know. And this is so much more complicated than it was for those guys. I mean, its Rachel for God sakes.
Joey: Ok, I got one, I got one. Uh, if he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?
Joey: All right. But if you werent my best friend.
Joey: Ew! What is that? Something exploded!
Joey: Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out.
Joey: No, no. He said "When are you gonna grow up and start being a mom?"
Ginger: Joey I can see you okay? Youre hiding behind the coats.
Joey: I want you to take this seriously! Phoebe is very very important to me, ok? And I wanna make sure that you are gonna take care of her.
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Joey: Yeah. I'm thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us, we can break them up.
Phoebe: Atlantic City, baby! Let's roll some bones! Hey Joey, high-five for rolling bones!
Joey: He doesn't do much, does he?
Joey: Oh, just, y'know.... science.
Phoebe: Joey. You know, um, he's really nutsy about you.
Joey: I will, really. I'll pay you back this time.
Monica: Oh, Joey, please tell me you're only donating your time.
Joey: We make fire. Cook meat.
Joey: Youre gonna have to pee on it.
Chandler: (sigh)... And where's this money coming from? (gives money to Joey)
Joey: (sigh)... It's a fertility study.
Joey: Oh, OK.
Joey: Well, the tough thing is, she really wants to have sex with me.
JOEY: Oh, hey, Monica, we've got a question.
Ronni: Oh, no thanks, I'm just waiting for, uh, Joey Tribbiani.
Phoebe: When I was you! Y'know what, its all Joeys fault, cause he left his nose open!
[Scene: Joey and Lydia in the hospital room. Lydia is on the phone with her mother.]
Monica: Joey... we always know what you mean.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: The country?
Joey: Yeah! Allright! Hey, hey Ross. Check it out! Sandy taught me Hot-cross Buns.
JOEY: No, not that one. We're trying to figure out who to bring to the Knicks game tonight, we have an extra ticket.
Joey: Listen, buddy, we're just looking out for you.
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is just arriving for his scene.]
(Long pause... Joey looks confused.)
Joey: (entering quietly) Hey.
Joey: Not following you.
Joey: What do you mean?
Joey: Then you do. Heh, heh.
Joey: Of course! Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didnt have the car! Right?
Joey: (to Rachel): That book got me through some tough times.
Joey: No way! Mr.Salty is a sailor, all right, he's got to be, like, thetoughest snack there is.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Joey: No, yeah, no, ok, but not yet. I don't wanna seem too eager. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. That seems pretty cool. (he walks over to her) Hey, Angela.
Estelle: How do you do. (to Rachel and Monica) Ooh, you two girls were outstanding! (to Joey) Did they have representation?
Joey: He's right, cause if you're just gonna, like, break his heart, that's the kind of thing that can wait.
Joey: The country.
Joey: Well... I'm helping out down at the N.Y.U. Med School with some... research.
Joey: Okay, may I see the comics?
Joey: How do you mean?
Joey: Sure! Why not?
(Joey starts to kiss her.)
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Joey: Shhhh!
(Joey looks down at Lydia.)
Joey: Because its all tainted with your betrayal. From now on this apartment is empty for me! And Im not happy about you either. (The bread maker dings) Oh, and just so you know, I made that bread for you. (Joey walks into his bedroom and slams the door.)
Joey: Heh, heh. It was nothin'.
Joey: She's still asleep.
Ross: And-and I, and I saw that Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him to-to surprise him and, and then I pretended I didnt know he was in there. (They all kinda look at him.)
Joey: (panicked) Water breaking, what do you mean? What's that, water breaking?
Joey: (aside to Ross) So.... back to your place...you thinking, maybe... (gestures with hands, back and forth) huh-huh?
Joey: I know! Neither did I!
Joey: (staring at the ice sculpture) How bad do you want to stick your tongue on that? (They all glare at him)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is playing foosball by himself, Joey enters]
Joey: Okay, so-so which route should I take the northern route or the southern route?
Joey: (enters) Guess what? (they all look expectantly at him) I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
Joey: Seven hundred bucks!
[Scene: Estelle's memorial service. Joey is giving a speech. Next to him is a blown op photograph of Estelle behind her desk and there's a man standing next to him.]
Joey: Absolutely! And if it doesnt, can I get the extra ticket?
(Chandler looks at Joey in amazement)
Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.
Joey: (takes her hand) Listen, I hope... that you know... (has difficulty saying it) I don't want you to see your father cry, GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Joey: Um, this?
Joey: What up?!
Joey: Thats it?! Even if nobody helps me I can eat that no problem. At least give me a challenge!
Joey: (returning from a deli) Okay, I got it! This place makes the best sandwich in the world!
Rachel: All right, fine. Um, you were not the only one there. (Camera fades to Ross, who's listening very carefully) Joey was there too.
Joey: Hey don't worry about that! I mean, Ross needs you! And Rachel and I will stay and help anyway we can.
Joey: (reaches for hi scones) My scones.
Joey: (to Chandler) You know, I think I was sixteen.
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
Joey: Come on look guys, don't fight.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
Rachel: Its a truffle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!