words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Monica are all there as Chandler enters wearing glasses.]
Joey: What?
Joey: Eyes! No, no. Your eyes! No. Chandlers eyes!
Joey: Feminine.
Rachel: Yeah, and-and-and by someone, she means Joey.
Joey: (entering) Ahoy!
Joey: Great! Im finally getting into this sailing stuff.
Joey: Why would I do that? It took three guys to get the thing in there!
Joey: Oh, its great! Its a great place to just kinda, sit, hang around, drink a few beers, eat some chips. (He says that as he sits, hangs around, drinks a beer, and eats a chip.)
Rachel: Yknow Joey, I could teach you to sail if you want.
Joey: You could?
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont (Joeys boat), shes shown to be in one of the waterways around New York, but in reality shes in a sound stage on the Warner Bros. lot and we see New York from the water in some rather poor green screen shots. Rachel and Joey are on board.]
Joey: (drinking a beer) Look at this clown! Just because hes got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. (Yelling) Get out of the way jackass! (To Rachel) Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coasts all the way over there. (Points to the coast, meanwhile there is coast behind him.)
Rachel: Joey, just ignore the boats all right? Were not finished with the lesson yet.
Joey: All right.
Joey: Come on Rach, not again. I got it! Okay? Lets start sailing, and I want to go over there (Points) where that boatload of girls is! (Yelling to them) Yo-ho-ho!
Joey: Uh, boat rope.
Joey: Uhh, rub it?
Joey: Id say, come again. No-no, wait I-I-I know this one, I know this one, uh
Joey: And deaf!
Joey: Yes.
Rachel: Dont just say yes! This isnt a game, Joey you can really get hurt out here. Okay, so do you want to pay attention or do you want to die?!
Joey: I want to make a ship to shore call to Chandler.
Joey: (entering) Hey.
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Joey: (recoils in horror) Women are mean!!! (Storms out.)
Joey: (entering) Hey.
Joey: Oh uh, I dont know the boat way to say this, but uh never!
Joey: Because! Youre mean on the boat!
Joey: Well, lesson learned! Rachel is mean!
Rachel: Look Joey, Im sorry if-if you thought that was mean, but I gotta tell ya something. That was not mean. Okay, my father is mean. He used to yell at me all the time on the boat, I mean it was horrible. I was just being a good teacher.
Joey: Does a good teacher say, "Put down the beer pinhead!?"
Joey: Six and a half! You knocked that last one out of my hand! Remember?
Joey: Well it hit me anyway! And it wouldve hurt a lot less if I had finished that last beer.
Joey: You wont boss me around anymore?
Joey: And youll be nice?
Joey: And youll be topless?
Rachel: AndJoey!
Joey: Do you want me to learn?!
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont, its Joeys second lesson with Rachel as the resident sailing expert.]
Rachel: Okay Joey honey, youre doing really good! All right, now Im just gonna need you to step to the port side. (Joey pauses as he tries to remember which side is the port side.) Remember? Remember how we talked about the port side?
Joey: Ohh yeah.
Joey: Nope.
Joey: I dont know why you just dont say left.
Rachel: Okay, go to the left. (Joey goes starboard or sits on the right side of the boat.) The left!
Joey: Huh?
Joey: (hurrying over) Okay! Okay, youre yelling again! See that?
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Since Im here, I think Im gonna have me a little beer on the port side. (Grabs and opens one.)
Rachel: Okay Joey, were luffing a little bit, so could you tighten up the cunningham? (The mainsail has started to flap in the wind and has stopped working efficiently; she wants him to tighten it so that it starts working again.)
Joey: Uh, wow, you just said a bunch of stuff I didnt know there.
Rachel: Joey, come on! We just went over this! (She does it instead.)
Joey: Oh, yknow, when we did that was when that bird was flying overhead with the fish in his mouth. Did you see it? It was gross!
Joey: All right thats it! Youre yelling and I dont see you taking your top off! I quit!
Joey: Why not?!
Joey: Greens? Im a Tribbiani! And Tribbianis quit!
Joey: Yes! Yes! You did and youre still yelling at me!
Rachel: No! No! No! Im not yelling at you, Im just yelling near you. Oh God Joey, ohh Im my father. Oh my God, this is horrible! Ive been trying so hard not to be my mother I did not see this comin. Oh, Joey, Im sorry. Im so sorry. I just wanted you to learn.
Joey: Well, hey I did learn.
Joey: Yeah! Come on.
Joey: Yeah, its okay. I know what a mainsail is. (Points to it. Its the larger sail.) I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right.
Joey: Damnit!
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont, is tied up alongside the pier; Joey and Rachel are relaxing.]
Rachel: Well Joey, I hate to admit it, your way of sailing is a lot more fun.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hey, why dont you give a pull on that rope? (Points.)
Joey: Just pull on it.
Joey: What else?
Joey: Thank you.
Joey: What are you doing?
Joey: What youdont hold it like that! Youre lettin all the good stuff fall out.
Joey: Careful! Youre wasting good pastrami! (Gasps.) Oh my God! Im my dad!
JOEY: Look at this, how did I spend so much money?
Joey: I cant believe youre not picking me.
Joey: Oh man! They-they just redid my make-up!
Joey: Nooo, later. (Walks out the door.)
Joey: (grabs it) Thanks.
Joey: Oh, its Rosss bachelor party.
Joey: Are you strippers?
JOEY: Well, well that one has ducks on his t-shirt, and this one has clowns. And Ben was definitely wearing ducks.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel are there, as Phoebe enters with her date.]
Joey: Okay Rach-Rach-Rach look at me, look at me, everythings gonna be fine, trust me. Okay. Take my hand. Here we go. (Rachel grabs his hand.) Oww crushing bones!
(She gets up and leaves, Chandler waves good-bye with one finger extended through the air hole. Ross glares at Joey.)
Joey: (to the guy operating the chipper) Hey! Hey!! (makes the cut it motion with his hands)
Joey: You got it.
Joey: Oh, I chose not to hear that.
Joey: Yeah?
JOEY: Yeah, my agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
(Joey is sleeping on the floor and is buried in sand that has been carved into a mermaid complete with breasts.)
Joey: Yeah!
(Joey smiles at them. Rachel looks annoyed)
Joey: Yeah. Ill let you play with my duck.
Joey: Oh unless you uh, you wanna hang around.
Joey: The ring is gone!
Joey: (looking through a deck of cards) Aww, man, he took the five of spades!! Oh, no-no-no, here it is!
Joey: Of course!! (Shrugs.)
Joey: Correct again! But, you forgot to switch legs between questions, so no hopping bonus!
(Chandler silently pleads with Joey to cover for them.)
Joey: Hey
Joey: (on machine) Hey Ross. Its Joey. Theres a hooker over here and we thought maybe youd know something about it.
[Scene: The Sleep Clinic, Joey is having trouble staying awake.]
Joey: Okay, maybe hes not his best friend, but
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is trying to figure out what to do.]
Joey: So uh, hey, that uh, that wedding ring, huh? Man, thats nice!
(He hear a duck start quacking, and see it waddle into the living room from the bathroom. Joey wants to know whats with the duck.)
Rachel: Well Joey, youll probably get it. But you should probably your-your gracious loser face. Yknow when like the cameras are on you and you wanna look disappointed but also that your colleague deserved to win. Yknow? So its sorta like (Does it, youll have to see it.)
Joey: Oh, I do. (Gives her the Joey-love look.) How you doin?
Joey: What are you gonna do? Youre gonna fire me?
Monica: So, is Joey gonna stop snoring?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is there. Rachel is looking out of the window and Ross is handing out some Chinese takeout. There's a small SAP in the corner of the screen.]
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
Chandler: (shocked) Joey, what-wh-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-what are you doing here?
JOEY: Uh, listen Phoebs, I know you're not goin' in there but do you think it'd be alright if I went in and used his bathroom? Oh, that's fine, never mind. Cool, snow, kinda like a blank canvas.
Joey: If anything should happen to him
The Salesman: So, heres somebody interesting, Joey. What do you know about Van Gogh?
Joey: Really?
Joey: (entering, interrupting Rachel) Hey! I got great news!
The Salesman: So, what do you say, Joey? You get the whole set of encyclopedias for twelve hundred dollars, which works out to just 50 bucks a book!
JOEY: How do we say yes now and make it seem like we're not doin' it just to ride in the cool car?
Joey: Ohh!! (Runs to his room.)
Joey: Relax okay, I-I-I can get this open. Anybody have a coat hanger?
Joey: London baby!
Joey: I know. Ross is getting married.
Joey: She was nothing compared to you.
Joey: (louder) London baby!!
Joey: Bye, Pheebs!
Joey: More embarrassing than shiny raspberry lip balm?! (Rachel just looks at him.) I didnt say raspberry before did I? All right just-just tell me Rach, just tell me!
Joey: Come on! Do something!
Joey: You bet I do! I just ah, wasnt listening then, thats all.
Joey: Shhh! (Pause) Man, you made me lose it! (He goes into the map again.)
Joey: I got it! (Picks up the map and starts walking.) Here we go.
JOEY: Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem?
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are getting ready to rehearse the play.]
Joey: Really? To what?
Joey: Good enough to get fired.
Joey: I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it myself. Chandler is my best friend, it would be wrong. Good...(He winks)...But wrong.
Joey: (answering phone) Stop callin!!
Joey: It was different for you guys! I mean, I mean, you were both in the same place, right?
Joey: But what does that gonna do...
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh, I embarrass you?
Director: Joey, all the roles got to dance a little. But believe me with your dance background it'll be a piece of cake.
Joey: Thanks.
Joey: Cut it out Ross! I hate to have to save your life and kick your ass in the same day!
Joey: No idea! But the guy I said it to dies in the next scene so I guess it means "you're gonna get eaten by a bear".
Phoebe: Is it Ross? Its Ross isnt itOh my God, its Joey!
JOEY: Plastic spoons. Great.
[Joey enters, his shoes have bells on, which jingle as he walks. He is wearing a long coat.]
Joey: Now hold on a second, fifth floor against that back wall?
Joey: Me too.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is entering. As he closes the door, Joey pokes his head up from a box enclosure built using the 2 chairs.]
Joey: Hey.
(Joey sticks his head out of the shower curtain.)
Joey: (on tape) Oh, Chandler.
JOEY: I fell down an elevator shaft.
Joey: In the woods. No wait-wait, thats the joke answer.
Joey: Wait up! (They both run to the bathroom.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are talking over party plans.]
Joey: Whos seven?
Joey: (on phone) Hey, Pheebs! Its Joey!
Joey: Kinda, but Ive just been having way too much fun.
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Joey: What? You ordered pizza without me?!
Joey: Two pizzas?!
Joey: No, I dont think so.
Joey: Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back.
(They both start speaking Italian to each other, and since I'm not Italian and don't understand one word, we'll move on to the English portion of the show. Not, that I'm English. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that I'm not. Y'know I think I should shut-up now and move on. Anyhoo, she says something about Joey being fat I think based on this line.)
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Joey: Oh, it was amazing. You know how you always think you're great in bed?
Joey: Look Ross, I am so-so sorry. I-I-I
Joey: I cant hear a word youre saying, my ears are ringing so bad.