words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's: everyone is there and they are watching an info-mercial that stars Joey.]
Joey: You guys, can we please not watch this all right.
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
Joey: (on tv) Oh, you said it Mike. (rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!
Joey: Can we please turn this off?
Joey: (on TV, finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
Joey: How is it you?
Joey: Yep, that's my audition.
Joey: Well, Estelle tried, you know. The casting director told her that I missed my chance.
Joey: Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents.
Joey: What, what are you doing? What are you doing?
Joey: Hang up, hang up. (reaches with his good arm, but Phoebe grabs it and he tries to reach the phone with his other arm but can't because of the sling.)
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Joey: I love that movie. (Joey is using it as a pillow)
Monica: There it is. Joey, what are you doing?
Joey: I'm sorry, it just felt nice.
Joey: Hey, I only got one good arm, you know. You should be doing stuff for me. Go get me a sweater.
Joey: Hey, you know about that?!
(Joey looks quizzically at Ross)
Ross: (to Joey) Where there is no fear of commitment.
Joey: Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right. But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear. It have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.
Joey: Oh, yeah. Go for it man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind!
Joey: Come on baby, come on!
Phoebe: (in voice, on phone) 'Okay, go ahead.' (in normal voice on phone) Um, hi Annie. (listens) Fantastic! (to Joey) You got it. (on phone) Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, (Joey clears his throat to signify yes) except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next....(hangs up phone) Op, went through a tunnel.
Joey: Thank you so much.
Joey: You were amazing, could you just do me this huge favor, you see there's this one other audition that I really, really want, and Estelle couldn't get me in.
Joey: Come on, please, it'll be just this one more, well actually it's two.
Joey: Yeah! Well, well really it's three. Please. You're so good at it. I love you.
Joey: Nooo, four.
Joey: (entering) G. I. Joe! Cool! Can I play?
Joey and Ross: Go Joe!!!
Phoebe: (entering) Helloo! Oh! (sees Joey and starts to leave)
Joey: Pheebs! There you are!
Joey: But Phoebe, wait! Wait! Phoebe. Phoebe! (catches her in the hallway)
Phoebe: Oh, Joey! Oh, okay, see I didn't recognize you wearing, in those....pants.
Joey: Look listen, that TV movie I went in for? Did you hear anything? I think I got a shot at it.
Joey: It's okay, these things happen.
Joey: I'm, I'm okay. See. (tries to smile, but fails horribly)
Joey: No! No, no you can't quit! You're the best agent I ever had! Look Pheebs, rejection is part being an actor, you can't take it personally.
Joey: They actually said that?
Joey: No, no, no, see that's why you have to do this job, agents always lie. You know, Estelle just says stuff like 'They went another way', but this, I can use this. (in a very bad Italian accent) I canna work on a new accent.
Ross: (running into the hall, in slow motion) You'll never get me, Joe!!! (he then pretends that he gets shot repeatedly and falls back against Joey and Chandler's door, dead.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are there]
Joey: Okay, shoot.
Joey: I didn't get it?
Joey: Okay, what else?
Joey: Oh.
Joey: Look, it's okay, no, no, no, really, look um, I really appreciate this Pheebs, but I think I'm gonna have to go back to Estelle.
Joey: Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out.
Joey: You do, thanks.
Joey: Wait a minute.
Joey: Wait a minute, did you just make up all that stuff just to get out of being my agent.
Joey: (in a really, really bad Italian accent) That's-ah what I suspected-ah.
Joey: What?
Joey: No, no, hey, no! Too late for apologies... ok? You broke my heart. You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you? (and he leaves the apartment, leaving her shocked)
Monica: Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?
Joey: Wow! Cool! (He takes the guitar, stands up, and goes to play a note. However, while strumming it, he knocks it out of his hands and it bounces off the table and lands on the floor. Phoebe just stares at the guitar.)
Joey: Really?
Joey: Shh. He did it. He told her off, and not just about the kiss, about everything.
(When Joey tries to pull back his head, he notices he is stuck)
Joey: Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man, just stop calling.
Joey: No plans, huh?
Cecilia: No thats La Guardia. (Joey nods in recognition.) This is Mexico.
Joey: (entering) Hey, you guys!
Joey: I can't believe it. When you guys come back, you're gonna have a baby! That is so weird!
Angela: Hi, Joey.
Joey: My god, Angela.
Joey: You look good.
Joey: You don't say.
Angela: (casually) Joey.
Joey: Come on, we were great together. And not just at the fun stuff, but like, talking too.
Joey: What?
Angela: Forget it Joey. I'm with Bob now.
Joey: What?
Chandler: ...Poulet passes it up to Leetch! (Passes it to Joey.)
Joey: Eww! Look, I'm asking a favor here. If I do this for her brother, maybe Angela will come back to me.
Ross: Yeah, oh and Sarah... I'd like to introduce you to my colleague, uh, Professor Wheeler, a-and this is Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: Yep.
Joey: Which what?
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is getting pointers on how to play Jessica Lockhart.]
Joey: No, but he's...
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, no problem, Ill justhold on one second. (He turns around and puts his hand in his pants and groans in relief.) (In a relaxed voice.) "Hey Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you!"
Joey: Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
Phoebe: Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. (Thinks) Or-or Rachel!
(Joey starts to eat the rest of the lasagne and everyone turns and stares at him.)
Joey: Oh my god.
Joey: Oh, yeah, yeah, listen for it.
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
Joey: What?
Joey: All right, look, I'm not proud of this, ok? Well, maybe I am a little.
Joey: Come on, they're close.
Joey: Ow!
Joey: We, we come back from our walk and the- the phone was ringing...
Joey: Hi-hi, Im Joey.
Joey: Fifth day's a charm.
(Monica and Joey enter.)
[Scene: A Hallway, Chandler is following Joey.]
Joey: So, you and Angela, huh?
Joey: Excellent.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, tiem lapse. Everyone but Joey and Monica are there.]
Joey: When have I ever done that?! (And does the sound again.)
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
Joey: What are you talking about? Bitch.
Joey: Whadja think?
Mike: How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that.
JOEY: Alright... I've got to go shower. [leaves]
Joey: Who's Rick?
Joey: Oh yeah, dude, I totally understand. Usually after I have a baby with a woman I like to slow things down!
Joey: Ugh, I cannot wait to ask her out!
Joey: I couldn't do it.
Monica: Good for you, Joey.
Rachel: Oh, what are you going to do?! Are you gonna go run tell Monica?! Are you gonna tell Joey?! No! Because then you will have to tell them what we did! We are desert stealers! We are living outside the law!
Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me!
Joey: (He just sits there, legs very close together with a painful look on his face) Soldier down!
Joey: Know what was great? The way his smile was kinda crooked.
Chandler: Yeah I know, but I was really confused and then I talked to these guys. (Turns to look at Ross and Joey.)
Ross: Right, I'm gonna go talk to Joey. I think this is the right time. He's always in a good mood after the flight attendant says "duty free".
(Joey enters and he's on the phone.)
Ross: C'mon, seriously, Joey, what's the part?
Joey: Thank you! (He goes into the bathroom.)
Joey: ...I'm his (mumbles)
Joey: (entering) Look, what am I gonna do? I'm not flirting but still, I'm drawing her to me like - like a moth to a flame! (Tries to put his feet on the coffee table...they won't reach and looks around.) What the hell's going on over here?!?!? (Points to Chandler) Monica's gonna kill you! Look I need your help, I have to do something to-to repel this woman! Wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys repel women all the time.
Joey: Whaddya think? Today's the big day!
Chandler: Where's Joey? His mom's on the phone.
(Monica and Chandler's room. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler have their ears pressed against the wall, and Joey looks at them)
Joey: Me?
[Scene: A Film Set, Joey is entering for his scene.]
Joey: Uh, listen, I just wanna thank you for this great opportunity.
Joey: Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you.
Joey: Well, I'm- I'm showering.
Joey: Yeah and wed go check it out, but you took away our keys.
(Joey enters.)
Joey: Nope.
Joey: You like someone. Tell me who it is. Who is it? (tickles her a little)
Joey: My mom will.
Rachel: Oh, Joey, you know what, no-one is gonna be able to tell.
Joey: I got fired.
Joey: You were supposed to duck!!! Why didnt you duck?
Joey: Yeah? That's so nice! (They hug.)
Joey: Hard to tell, I was naked.
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is watching Jessica Lockhart perform a scene.]
[Scene: The Vending Machines, Phoebe is buying a soda and Joey is shaking the candy machine.]
Joey: Oh, ah- the kid has it.
Joey (to Ross): You know, I had a chance to stop her too!
Joey: (looking at the flyer) Yeah-eah! 200 dollar reward, split five ways!!
[Scene: Cental Perk, Joey and Ross are persecuting Chandler about his smoking.]
Joey: Hi everyone.
Joey: What's up man?
Chandler: (angry) Put Joey on the phone.
JOEY: Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Ross: (To Joey) Hey, you wanna get something to eat or uh, do you wanna see how long we can throw this ball back and forth? Huh?