words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's: everyone is there and they are watching an info-mercial that stars Joey.]
Joey: You guys, can we please not watch this all right.
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
Joey: (on tv) Oh, you said it Mike. (rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!
Joey: Can we please turn this off?
Joey: (on TV, finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
Joey: How is it you?
Joey: Yep, that's my audition.
Joey: Well, Estelle tried, you know. The casting director told her that I missed my chance.
Joey: Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents.
Joey: What, what are you doing? What are you doing?
Joey: Hang up, hang up. (reaches with his good arm, but Phoebe grabs it and he tries to reach the phone with his other arm but can't because of the sling.)
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Joey: I love that movie. (Joey is using it as a pillow)
Monica: There it is. Joey, what are you doing?
Joey: I'm sorry, it just felt nice.
Joey: Hey, I only got one good arm, you know. You should be doing stuff for me. Go get me a sweater.
Joey: Hey, you know about that?!
(Joey looks quizzically at Ross)
Ross: (to Joey) Where there is no fear of commitment.
Joey: Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right. But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear. It have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.
Joey: Oh, yeah. Go for it man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind!
Joey: Come on baby, come on!
Phoebe: (in voice, on phone) 'Okay, go ahead.' (in normal voice on phone) Um, hi Annie. (listens) Fantastic! (to Joey) You got it. (on phone) Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, (Joey clears his throat to signify yes) except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next....(hangs up phone) Op, went through a tunnel.
Joey: Thank you so much.
Joey: You were amazing, could you just do me this huge favor, you see there's this one other audition that I really, really want, and Estelle couldn't get me in.
Joey: Come on, please, it'll be just this one more, well actually it's two.
Joey: Yeah! Well, well really it's three. Please. You're so good at it. I love you.
Joey: Nooo, four.
Joey: (entering) G. I. Joe! Cool! Can I play?
Joey and Ross: Go Joe!!!
Phoebe: (entering) Helloo! Oh! (sees Joey and starts to leave)
Joey: Pheebs! There you are!
Joey: But Phoebe, wait! Wait! Phoebe. Phoebe! (catches her in the hallway)
Phoebe: Oh, Joey! Oh, okay, see I didn't recognize you wearing, in those....pants.
Joey: Look listen, that TV movie I went in for? Did you hear anything? I think I got a shot at it.
Joey: It's okay, these things happen.
Joey: I'm, I'm okay. See. (tries to smile, but fails horribly)
Joey: No! No, no you can't quit! You're the best agent I ever had! Look Pheebs, rejection is part being an actor, you can't take it personally.
Joey: They actually said that?
Joey: No, no, no, see that's why you have to do this job, agents always lie. You know, Estelle just says stuff like 'They went another way', but this, I can use this. (in a very bad Italian accent) I canna work on a new accent.
Ross: (running into the hall, in slow motion) You'll never get me, Joe!!! (he then pretends that he gets shot repeatedly and falls back against Joey and Chandler's door, dead.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are there]
Joey: Okay, shoot.
Joey: I didn't get it?
Joey: Okay, what else?
Joey: Oh.
Joey: Look, it's okay, no, no, no, really, look um, I really appreciate this Pheebs, but I think I'm gonna have to go back to Estelle.
Joey: Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out.
Joey: You do, thanks.
Joey: Wait a minute.
Joey: Wait a minute, did you just make up all that stuff just to get out of being my agent.
Joey: (in a really, really bad Italian accent) That's-ah what I suspected-ah.
Joey: Fresh squeezed orange juice, with pulp! Just the way you like it.
Joey: What the hell is that?!!
Chandler: The meaning of the box is three fold. One (holds a finger up through the air hole), it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two (holds up another finger), it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three (holds up a third finger), it hurts!
Joey: Eh, what are you gonna do?
Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.
Joey: Man that was great! Huh? Can you believe how long we threw that ball around?
Joey: Uhhh, mine too! Yeah.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is running up the stairs and towards his apartment, but Joey is taking out the garbage at the same time and stops him in the hall.]
Joey: Dude, you should've gone out once and a while.
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
Joey: What are you talking about? Keep it!
Joey: Me too! Me too! Me too! (Yeah, he does the same thing.)
[Joey is looking at Rachel, smiling, and gesturing his head towards Ross.]
Joey: Man. Can you believe he's only had sex with one woman?
Joey: Oh umm, not go.
Joey: Aww, I don't know Monica y'know... erm... lending friends money is always a mistake.
Joey: All right! Thanks Pheebs!
Joey: Well, I know what Im giving you for Christmas.
Phoebe: You dont have to do that, Ross and Joey arent here, you can watch the parade if you want.
Phoebe: Oh hey Joey! What's up?
JOEY: And you feel like we hold you back.
Joey: (quickly) Yes!
Joey: Well, back to square one.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a map as Phoebe enters.]
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Joey: A swimmer!
Joey: Peanut butter!
Joey: Sure, what do you want to see?
Joey: Hey man, what's up?
Joey: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?
(The guys hotel room. Joeys there. Chandler comes out of the bathroom in a robe.)
Joey: Ah! (Points to door) Huh? (Leaves and slams the door)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: Silvercup studios, Joey is taking a shower in Charlton Hestons dressing room. Heston enters the room, Joey panics, and walks over to the shower and confronts Joey about the use of his shower.]
Joey: Hey! You ready to go?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Joey: Wow. Hey look, if it helps, I dont want to feel this way. Honest. I just keep thinking, "Ah, Ill get over this." Yknow? I justIt just keeps gettin harder. I dont, I dont know what to do. Yknow? What do I do?
(Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are carrying a couch through the door)
Joey: Oh, yeah, totally! Thats such a turn-on!
Joey: Hey!
Rachel: Oh, I probably shouldntso I will! (Joey starts making her refill and Rachel notices that rain thing Joey has.) Oh! Wow! Its like its raining!
Joey: You got it!
Joey: Bye-bye!
Joey: Yeah! Because this commercial belongs to me and Mitch!
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: See ya! (Walks out.)
(Joey nods to Chandler, no way!)
Donny: Joey describe these things associated with the United States congress. (Joey goes form looking very confident to looking very shocked the instant the word congress is said) Give me 20 seconds on the clock please. Ready? Go!
(Rachel comes out of the apartment holding a pot. Joey holds in anticipation and Rachel opens it)
Joey: You wanna eat? (Pulls out the twenty) My treat!
Joey: Man, I'm getting pretty tired. You're might have to take over soon.
Joey: Is this movie gonna be my big break?
Joey: Okay, uhh, would you rather be too wet or too dry?
Joey: Yeah. Okay. Ross's treat! Where do you wanna eat?
Joey: (shocked) What?!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are talking to Frank.]
Joey: Do you believe in ghosts, yes or no?
Joey: Dude you said, "No!"
Joey: I don't believe this!
Joey: Not if you're gonna be like this!
Joey: Wh-wh-whats going on? Wh-whats this about L.A.?
Rachel: (entering) Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.
Joey: Get out!!
Joey: Whoa! Is this porn? What did I do? I mustve hit something on the remote.
Joey: Yeah listen so, I thought I was getting better, so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store and
Joey: Multi-colored robes! Ooh, and maybe a hat.
Joey: (laughs) You're kidding right?
Joey: What?!
Joey: No!
Joey: Wh-what?! Why?!
Joey: Uh, hang out?! How long?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Fine! Take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
Monica: Joey, what's it like on a movie set, huh? Do you have a dressing room? Do you have a chair with your name on it?
Joey: (on phone from Vegas) Hey Monica, it's Joey!
(Joey gets all happy with himself, while the rest of the gang is less than enthused.)
Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right?
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: That's it! Thanks Pheebs!
Phoebe: (to Joey) Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler?
Chandler: (To Joey) Hey!
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Is that Joey?! (She nods yes) Let me talk to him!
[Cut to Joey]
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: (looking out the window) Hey-hey, check it out! Check it out! Ugly Naked Guy has a naked friend!
[Cut to Joey]
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: Don't come out here!
Joey: OK, listen Ive been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright? Its a show, but were just dancing, OK? Its no big deal. The important thing to remember stay cool.
JOEY: What're you gettin' so bent out of shape for, huh? It's not like we agreed to live together forever. We're not Bert and Ernie.
Ross: (sees Joey) Hey. (walks into the living room) Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second?
Joey: No! No, Im the minister! All right, look-look, put em both on the phone, Ill marry them right now.
Joey: (entering) Hey, you know our phone's not working?
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: (to the family) Sorry about that. Thanks for waitin'.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is pacing as Joey enters.]
Joey: Somebody was using his head. Hey, let's check out the rest of the place.
JOEY: Isn't it? And it's engraved too, check it out.
Joey: Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. (To Chandler.) You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?
Joey: So when do we get to meet the guy?