words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's: everyone is there and they are watching an info-mercial that stars Joey.]
Joey: You guys, can we please not watch this all right.
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
Joey: (on tv) Oh, you said it Mike. (rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!
Joey: Can we please turn this off?
Joey: (on TV, finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
Joey: How is it you?
Joey: Yep, that's my audition.
Joey: Well, Estelle tried, you know. The casting director told her that I missed my chance.
Joey: Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents.
Joey: What, what are you doing? What are you doing?
Joey: Hang up, hang up. (reaches with his good arm, but Phoebe grabs it and he tries to reach the phone with his other arm but can't because of the sling.)
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Joey: I love that movie. (Joey is using it as a pillow)
Monica: There it is. Joey, what are you doing?
Joey: I'm sorry, it just felt nice.
Joey: Hey, I only got one good arm, you know. You should be doing stuff for me. Go get me a sweater.
Joey: Hey, you know about that?!
(Joey looks quizzically at Ross)
Ross: (to Joey) Where there is no fear of commitment.
Joey: Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right. But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear. It have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.
Joey: Oh, yeah. Go for it man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind!
Joey: Come on baby, come on!
Phoebe: (in voice, on phone) 'Okay, go ahead.' (in normal voice on phone) Um, hi Annie. (listens) Fantastic! (to Joey) You got it. (on phone) Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, (Joey clears his throat to signify yes) except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next....(hangs up phone) Op, went through a tunnel.
Joey: Thank you so much.
Joey: You were amazing, could you just do me this huge favor, you see there's this one other audition that I really, really want, and Estelle couldn't get me in.
Joey: Come on, please, it'll be just this one more, well actually it's two.
Joey: Yeah! Well, well really it's three. Please. You're so good at it. I love you.
Joey: Nooo, four.
Joey: (entering) G. I. Joe! Cool! Can I play?
Joey and Ross: Go Joe!!!
Phoebe: (entering) Helloo! Oh! (sees Joey and starts to leave)
Joey: Pheebs! There you are!
Joey: But Phoebe, wait! Wait! Phoebe. Phoebe! (catches her in the hallway)
Phoebe: Oh, Joey! Oh, okay, see I didn't recognize you wearing, in those....pants.
Joey: Look listen, that TV movie I went in for? Did you hear anything? I think I got a shot at it.
Joey: It's okay, these things happen.
Joey: I'm, I'm okay. See. (tries to smile, but fails horribly)
Joey: No! No, no you can't quit! You're the best agent I ever had! Look Pheebs, rejection is part being an actor, you can't take it personally.
Joey: They actually said that?
Joey: No, no, no, see that's why you have to do this job, agents always lie. You know, Estelle just says stuff like 'They went another way', but this, I can use this. (in a very bad Italian accent) I canna work on a new accent.
Ross: (running into the hall, in slow motion) You'll never get me, Joe!!! (he then pretends that he gets shot repeatedly and falls back against Joey and Chandler's door, dead.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are there]
Joey: Okay, shoot.
Joey: I didn't get it?
Joey: Okay, what else?
Joey: Oh.
Joey: Look, it's okay, no, no, no, really, look um, I really appreciate this Pheebs, but I think I'm gonna have to go back to Estelle.
Joey: Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out.
Joey: You do, thanks.
Joey: Wait a minute.
Joey: Wait a minute, did you just make up all that stuff just to get out of being my agent.
Joey: (in a really, really bad Italian accent) That's-ah what I suspected-ah.
Joey: Well just see.
Joey: Yknow, we dont have to imagine.
Joey: Oh uh, ordinarily I would love too, but I am just swamped right now. (Brushes something off of his shirt and looks around, but doesnt move from his chair.)
Ross: Joey, we just saw it!
Joey: And?
Joey: Die Hard 2.
Joey and Ross: Die Hard!!!!!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Kathy are sitting at a table and talking about Joey.]
Joey: Come here! (Hugs Dina and Bobby looks to hug Rachel.)
Chandler: (looking at the tape) Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again.
Joey: Yeah. All right, Ill talk to you later.
Joey: Well, I dont know!!
Joey: No! Never! Never! (Pause, then Joey wants to shake Rosss hand.) Bye.
[Scene: Phoebes cab, shes driving, Joeys in the back seat, and the hitchhiker is riding up front with Phoebe.]
Joey: Yeah. Yep. Yeah. All right, well uh, Id better go.
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
Joey: Well, I was Dr. Drake Remoray, Strykers twin brother. I mean, who looks more me than me right?
Joey: Hey! Whats going on?
Joey: Oh its water under the bridge, forget it!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.]
[Scene: Street in front of the London Marriott, Joey and Chandler exit. Joey is carrying a video camera and is shooting Chandler.]
Joey: See, this is a great apartment.
Joey: Hi.
Joey: Saw a girl with that vest.
Joey: Uh hey look uh Ross, look I think we need to talk about before.
Joey: Uh-huh!
Joey: Okay! When?!
Joey: I want to do it again.
Joey: Why not?
Joey: (Hes recorded his voice on the tape) Joeys your best friEnd. You want to make him a cheese sandwich everyday. (he laughs) And you also want to buy him hundreds of dollars worth of pants.
Joey: Fine! Do you want something to drink?
Ross: Ive said it! Okay?! But its over Joey!
Chandler: Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants. If y'know what I mean.
Joey: Why is 10 the highest?
Joey: (crying) I dont want to marry Chandler!
Joey: Okay, Phoebe
Joey: Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except Joey.]
Ross and Joey: Oh! Thats nice.
Joey: Wow. (To Ross) Good speech.
(Joey and Ross pause while they picture the event.)
Joey: And shes back in the game.
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
Joey: No reason, Im just saying that uh Thats where Ill be.
Joey: Well, hes not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I good check with himHe says its okay. (She hands him her card.) Great! Thanks! Bye-bye!
Joey: Yeah, yeah. We went to a Mets game, we got Chinese food, and you know, I love this woman. You have got competition buddy.
Joey: (groans in disgust) Wow, its really long.
Joey: (screaming) And now Chandler! Were all gettin so old! (Looking up) Why are you doing this to us?! (Turns away crying.)
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
Joey: Obviously! So, how do we decide?
Joey: Morning!
Joey: Alright, come on you guys, it's not that big a deal. Really... I mean, I just go down there every other day and... make my contribution to the project. Hey, hey, but at the end of two weeks, I get seven hundred dollars.
Joey: Pretty good.
Joeys Date: Hi!
Joey: Damnit!
Rachel: What-what if I marry RossOr Joey?
[Scene: Joey and Ben's audition, Joey is rehearsing his lines, uh correction, Joey is rehearsing his line.]
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im sorry I just couldnt tell her all those things you wanted me to tell her. And yknow we got to talking and I
Joey: Yeah. Ill uh, Ill call ya.
Joey: What?!!
Joey: Bye-bye.
Joey: Man, do you know what guys want!
Erin: Bye Joey. (Kisses him.) Last night was fun.
Joey: My beers?! Look you guys, shes a very nice girl. Okay? We had a good time, but I justI dont see it going anywhere.
Phoebe: Joey, shes so cool. She speaks four languages.
Joey: Look Im sorry you guys, I-I just dont think so.
Joey: You cant just ignore the bet! Its a bet! You bet and you bet and if you lose, you lose the bet!
Joey: Warm milk and Excedrin P.M. (Ross just leaves.)
Joey: Me too. I mean I havent thought at all about how I put myself out there and said all that stuff and how you didnt feel the same way about me and-and how it was really awkward.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: (skeptical) What party?
Joey: Erin.
Joey: Whos birthday party?
Joey: All right, so we should go catch our movie.
Joey: (still skeptical) Yeah, look how that worked out.
Erin: Joey.
Phoebe and Rachel: 32. (Joeys not buying it.)
Gunther: (approaching with a tray with an order on it) Joey!
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Yeah well we should order some food then.
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Aaahh... How much do I owe you?
Joey: (not buying it) Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Or, or Im the one who dates her.
Ross: No Joey! Look why dont, why dont we just let her decide? Okay? Hey-hey, well each go out with her one more time. And-and well see who she likes best.
Joey: What about Game 1 of the Series?
Rachel: So hows it goin with Joey?
Phoebe: Does Joey have any idea?
Joey: Okay. See you guys later.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey sits at a table and Chandler and Monica enter.]
Joey: I dont know! But he did not eat your face cream!
Joey: (returning) Hey! You wanna go?
Joey: Great nap.
Phoebe: You could get arrested, right now! (Flashes the badge and they glare at her.) All right, yeah, I gotta take it back. I'm totally drunk with power. (She heads for the door just as Joey enters.)
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Joey: Hey!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are watching TV as Joey enters.]
Joey: And what?! Did you sleep with her?!
Joey: Oh. Oh.
Rachel: Joey