words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there and they are finishing watching the first episode of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey is of course Mac.]
Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)
Joey: (laughing and turning off the TV) So, what did you guys think?
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Hold on please. Joey, its your mom. (Hands him the phone.)
Joey: (on phone) Mom, so what did you think? (He walks away allowing the gang a chance to figure out what theyre gonna say.)
Joey: (hangs up the phone) Wow! Well, my folks really liked it! So what-what did you guys think? (Phoebe smiles, walks up to him, and presses her breasts against him.) It wasnt that good.
Joey: (entering from bathrooms excitedly) You guys! You guys! Youre not gonna believe what my agent just told me!
Rachel: Joey! Kinda in the middle of a story here!
Joey: Ooh, sorry. Sorry. You finish, go.
Joey: Im gonna be on two TV shows!
Rachel: Joey!
Joey: Oh, you werent finished?
Joey: Uh Rach, if youre gonna start another story, at least let me finish mine.
Joey: (groans in disgust) Wow, its really long.
Joey: Well, these really are the days of our lives.
Joey: Well, since you ask. They want me back on Days of Our Lives!
Joey: Ill be playing Drake Remorays twin brother, Stryker!
Joey: (jumps up) WellI got a head rush from standing up to fast right there.
[Scene: The Days of Our Lives producers office, Joey is entering to find Terry there.]
Terry: Hey-hey-hey Joey!
Joey: Hey Terry!
Joey: Its been a while, huh? Wow, its funny these halls look smaller then they used to.
Joey: So! Stryker Remoray huh? When do you want me to start?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: (looking between the pages and him) Audition? I thought you were gonna offer me the part.
Joey: Well, I was Dr. Drake Remoray, Strykers twin brother. I mean, who looks more me than me right?
Joey: Yknow Terry, I-I dont really need to do this. I got my own cable TV series, (Pause) with a robot.
Terry: Im sorry Joey thats thats the way it is.
Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Remoray!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is giving Joey a massage as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Was she happy you gave her the job?
(The phone rings and Joey answers it.)
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
Rachel: Im sorry Joey.
Joey: Why would they do that?! It was a good show right?!
(Phoebe and Rachel both pause, look at each other, and go press their breasts against him. Which Joey doesnt mind, of course.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is still bumming about cancellation of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Joey: How could this happen to me?! Yesterday I had two TV shows! Today, I got nothin!
Joey: Uh, well they might be a little mad at me over there.
Joey: Well maybe I got a little upset and maybe I told them where they could go.
Rachel: Joey, why would you do that?
Joey: Because they wanted me to audition!
[Scene: Terrys office, Joey has come to beg for a second chance.]
Joey: Hey! Terry.
Terry: Joey Tribbiani! Im surprised your big head could fit through our small halls! (Gets up) I gotta go Joey.
Joey: Wait! Terry! WaitLookWait I-I Look, Im really sorry about before. I was an idiot thinking Im too big to audition for you. You gotta give me another chance.
Terry: I cant help you Joey.
Joey: Wait! Terry! Please! Look, I just lost my other job. Okay? You have no idea how much I need this. Please, help me out, for old times sake.
(Stryker enters, only its not Joey playing him.)
Joey: (jumping up and removing the bandages) Im back baby! Ha-ha-ha!
Joey: All right.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Joey: Why would I return it? I love this bag!
Joey: I think face to face.
Joey: Yknow, when we talked about face to face, I dont think we thought it all the way through.
Joey: Great nap.
Joey: No Im not. Why would you say that? Thats just mean.
Joey: Hey Pheebs! (He sits down next to her.)
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it Oh My God, Im a woman!!!
Joey: Not good, no. I didnt get the part, and I lost my job here, so
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are standing and talking, Ross is tying a tie.]
Joey: (to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin?
Joey: Hey! How you doin?
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Joey: Oh? Oh! Okay! Okay! Lets hear their plan! Now, whats the future look like for Dina and Bobby?
Joey: Not much to tell there Im really shy.
Joey: Oh great! Great! Thank you. (They shake hands.)
Joey: No! No... and, for the record, I've also never given her a frosting from a can!
Joey: Oh, good to know. (The interviewer leaves.) So close!
Joey: No, Yeeees. God, how do I say this. (walks into the kitchen, Chandler follows closely, he turns around and gets startled). Oh, hi, you know that girl from the Greek restaurant with the hair (holds his hands up to signify she has big hair)?
Joey: Oh, I dont watch soap operas. Excuse me, I have a life, yknow?
Joey: Hey, youre the one that loves the picture.
Joey: Little bit, yeah.
Joey: (behind them) Oh!! Shrimp toast! (Walks right past the little group on his way for the shrimp toast.)
Joey: (announcer voice) All right! Lets play Bamboozled!
Joey: Yeah, isnt that a cool name?
Joey: I said a little bit Ross. Now, how about you Chandler?
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Dina is at the craft services table getting some food as Joey walks up.]
Joey: This is embarrassing. (Looks it up.)
Joey: Whats not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Goooooood.
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
Joey: I know! Yeah, but, look I can handle it. All right? Look, I can listen to the radio, huh? And Ross gave me this great book (holds up the Playboy magazine).
Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
Joey: Here it is! Our last pizzas together as roommates.
Joey: This one right here. (Ross whines.)
Joey: No! No, fear of the number 13.
Joey: All right Chandler, youre up.
Joey: You-you must choose Mr. Bing.
JOEY: Yeah, I'll have the Thai chicken pizza. But, hey, look, if I get it without the nuts and leeks and stuff, is it cheaper?
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
Monica: Okay, I-Im sorry. You and Joey, your both focusing on this uncomfortable thing, what you need to do is to change the subject. Next time you see him try to get him talking about something else.
ESTL: Oh, I see. Well, I'm just gonna put in a call here and we'll find out what's goin' on and straighten it out. [picks up the phone] Yeah, hi, Lori please. [pause] Hi darling. So how 'bout Joey Tribbiani for the part of the cab driver, isn't he terrific? [pause] Uh-huuuuh. [pause] Uh-huuuuh. OK, doll. Talk to you later. [hangs up] [to Joey] Yeah, you're gonna have to sleep with her.
Joey: I dont know, but it smells good. (He gets up and heads for the door only to stop short and start laughing.)
Joey: Yes!
Joey: (makes a sound like a monkey) That noise can only me one thing.
Joey: Wise choice, how many rungs?
Rachel: Phoebe! You picked Joey and Ross?! You can not have two backups!
Joey: Of course!
Joey: Yes! Yes, youre back in the lead!
Joey: Now, over to Chandler.
Joey: Are you sure?
[Ross looks at Joey coyly.]
Joey: What?!?! Oh dear God!
[Scene: Joeys Audition, Joey is being shown in.]
Joey: WhatWhy?!
Joey: (announcer voice) Its a pleasure to meet you Ray.
Joey: (announcer voice to the camera) Lets play Bamboozled!
Joey: (simultaneously) Oh my God!!! I cant believe that!!
Rachel: No! Joey please! Please dont! Please dont leave like this! Now come on, you cannot do this to a pregnant woman! (Starts to cry.)
Joey: Aaaah
(Joey storms back in and covering his face so he doesnt see Dina grabs the sandwich and heads back out.)
[Cut to Mona and Joey clearing the dining room table for the grudge match between Chandler and Ross.]
Joey: Look, Ross, really its-its no big deal. Yknow you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we cant be friends at work, then so be it. Yknow, hey I understand. Yknow? Hey, when Im in a play and youre in the audience, I dont talk to you, right? So its yknow, its uh, its cool. Ill see you tomorrow. (Leaves)
Joey: You just give him a spoon baby!
Joey: All right well, yknow I guess we know what we have to do to get down.
Rachel: Hey you guys, this is my sister Amy. This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and you know Mon.
Rachel: It's not here Pheebs, it's not here. Ohh, I went to Joey and Chandler's last night! Okay! (Goes to the door.)
Joey laughs: Yeah.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And Im not just saying this because Im your friend, Im sayin it cause its the truth. Youre food is abysmal!
Joey: Its just a game Mon. (makes a Can-you-believe-her face to the rest of the gang.) Rach, how about you?
Joey: Well, I'm telling everyone about you! That's the only way to explain the underwear and the video camera that doesn't make me look like a pig!
Joey: Okay, Ill see you there. (Starts to leave)
Monica: Joey! (He returns) Now that youre here
Joey: What is it?
<Joey turns away and Chandler reassuringly pats him on the back>
Joey: Wow! How do you know how to do that?!
Joey: I thought you already have a job.
Joey: (on cell phone) Im sorry I gotta cancel tonight baby
Joey: You cooked him?
JOEY: Well, I had a whole ceramic zoo thing goin' over there but now, without the other ones, it just looks tacky.
(At this point, Chandler walks into the living room from his bedroom. Ross and Joey both have their backs to him, so they don't notice. Chandler sees the situation and remains quiet, watching.)
Joey: Either eat it, or be in it.
Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Joey: (laughs) Now lets not get carried away. (He walks away as Monica comes over and hugs Chandler from behind.)
Joey: All right.
Joey: I didnt tell him. I didnt know if you were telling people. This is back when I thought Kash was still people.
Joey: Hi.
Joey: Cheese makes me thirsty.
[Scene: The Cooking Class, Joey is trying to cook as the teacher walks over to him.]
[Time Lapse, dinner has ended for everyone except Joey who looks like to have finished the turkey, until he turns the plate around and reveals he only ate one side.]
(The teacher goes to Joeys station.)
Monica: Joey! Im so proud of you!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in Joeys lap on Francette, and theyre both groaning.]
Joey: Yeah!
[Scene: Joeys. Joey is playing fetch with the dog.]
Joey: But hey, thanks for teachin' us Cross-Eyed Mary. You guys, we gotta play that at our regular game.
Joey: No, Im gonna!! Thats right! Yeah, you made me feel really guilty about goin out with that girl! Like-like-like I did something terrible to you! And now Pheebs, youre doing the same thing!
Ross: Thanks. (When shes gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think Im dying. I really do.
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
Joey: I guess it couldve been, I didnt really look at it. Yknow, I just wiped it on Chandlers coat and got the hell out of there.