words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Monica are at the counter getting some more coffee.]
Joey: Oh! Hey, somebody left their keys. (Looks at them) Ooohh, to a Porsche! {Transcribers note: Oh come on! Who would leave the keys to their Porsche behind? If I had a Porsche, Id have the keys surgically attached to my hand!} Hey Gunther, these yours?
Joey: Na-uh! (To everyone there) Hey did anybody lose their keys?
Monica: Joey, why dont you put them in the lost and found?
Joey: Theres a lost and found? (Gunther sets the box up on the table.) My shoe! (Grabs it out of the box.)
Joey: Well, I didnt realize until I got home. I wasnt gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe! Yknow what? Im gonna go find that guys car and leave a note on the windshield. (Goes to do so.)
Joey: Great! Thanks. (Exits.)
[Scene: The street down the block from Central Perk, Joey has found the Porsche and is writing the note.]
Joey: Yeah, its not mine.
Joey: Yeah, its (looks up and sees the woman) mine.
Joey: Me too! Yeah. And comfortable. Do uh, do you like leather seats?
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
Joey: (entering) Hey guys!
Joey: Hey babies! Oh, Im having the best morning. That uh, that Porsche Ive got the keys too, still there!
Joey: You should see the treatment I get when Im with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
[Scene: The Porsche, Joey is finishing up washing the car and is talking to a guy about the car.]
Joey: Yeah, she tops out at 130.
Joey: And thats just in the city. I get her up to 160 when I take her upstate.
Joey: Sure!
Joey: Okay, take it easy.
Joey: Really? Oh uh, oh just give me five more minutes with it.
Joey: Oh I-I uh, found the keys and now Im just polishing her up.
Joey: Yeah, but its my wax.
Joey: Sure. Here. (He hands them over.) Ill uh, save your parking spot.
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Yeah, so did I.
Joey: (entering wearing nothing but Porsche clothes) So the Porsche guy took his car back.
Joey: No. No, I just uh, I just loved the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche.
Joey: Of course! Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didnt have the car! Right?
Joey: Oh, Ive been there. Yeah, I am gonna go drive my Porsche. (Starts to leave.)
Monica: Joey, you know you dont actually have one.
Joey: Come on! What are you doing?! Im in character! Would you talk to her! (Storms out.)
[Scene: The street, Joey is hanging out wearing his Porsche grab.]
Joey: Why isnt that valet back with my Porsche?
Joey: (to women passing him) Porsche.
Joey: Hi! How are the Gellers?
Joey: Hey! Its Porsche!! (Hes right yknow.)
[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]
Joey: Hey! Hey! Be careful around my Porsche!
Woman: (the same one from before approaches) Hi Joey.
Joey: Hey! How you doin?
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Joey: I will be doing a dramatic reading of one of Emma’s books.
Joey: You do attract some stinkers.
Joey: (says hi to his grandma) Look! Oh! (Pointing out the window.) Is that the Pope?! (Chandler and his grandma turn to look and Joey slips a tape into the VCR.)
Chandler: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, wed really appreciate it. (Joey nods in agreement)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are there. Phoebe's cell phone rings.]
Joey: I'm so confused!
Joey: I'd love to! Yeah! Joey: (To Phoebe) We were supposed to bring presents?
Monica: I think he deserves a Nobel Prize. (Joey starts to nod Yes.)
(Joey returns with a piece of pizza as Chandler and Phoebe exit.)
Phoebe: Hey!! Get your ass back here, Tribbiani!! (Joey walks back in, scared.)
Ross: Joey! You're in charge, ok? You make sure nobody leaves! (leaves)
Joey: Well, that one did not have Emma's face on it.
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, hey! I'm not gonna mess with Jack, he's a great man, he fought for our country.
Joey: No.
Joey: Nighty-night!
Chandler: (Yelling) What are you doing? Get the hell out of here! (Phoebe and Joey come out looking shocked)
Joey: Bye, bye.
Phoebe: Joey? How could you just let them leave?
Joey: Ok! (Opens the door for them)
Joey: What? You never said anything about an audition!
(The phone rings, Joey picks up)
(They run to the bedroom and close the door carefully just as Joey enters.)
Joey: Hello?
Joey: Oh! I forgot you used to live here!
Joey: Hey! (smiles)
Estelle: (on the other side of the line) Joey! It's Estelle!
Joey: (smile fades) What audition?
Joey: Right.
Joey: Ok, ladies and gentlemen, wind your toys! (they do so)
Joey: Hey, if you need a tour guide... (point to himself)
Joey: (bewildered) Oh! Oh, well! At least we're both having fun!
Joey: Okay, Monica picks ten, I call nine! Anyone else?
Joey: (sarcastic) Whoaa!! You cuddled? How many times??
Joey: Come on robot!
Joey: Way to go robot!
(Joey and Phoebe leave for the door)
Joey: Hey, good race you guys.
Chandler: (To Ross) Okay, you get her in here. (To Joey) You bolt the door. Ill be in the closet.
Joey: So, did you uh, find anyone to marry you guys yet?
Joey: So, did you bring a little something for Ross?
Joey: Okay uh, look I know youre a great actor, okay? And you play all those Shakespeare guys and stuff
Monica: No, please don't. Please, Joey. She will kill us!
Ross: Joey, we just saw you come in. You ran past us on the stairs.
Joey: (to Ross and Rachel) I've been here the whole time!
Joey: No-no, I cant! I cant! Not after the other night, its just its too weird, okay? Dont tell her Im here! (Turns to run to the bathroom and his bagel falls off the plate onto the floor.) Dont eat that! (Runs to the bathroom as Rachel enters.)
Joey: But between you and Phoebe, Id have to give the edge to Phoebe.
(Joey comes running into the apartment, out of breath.)
Joey: What is wrong with me. It looked more delicious when it was a penis.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Her first cookie? She has cookies all the time!
(Joey looks at them, disappointed about their decision)
Monica: You know what? Then, Joey, we want you to do it.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment]
Ross: Yes. I lived with you guys for a while and then I found this place. (Joey just stares at him) I'm Ross.
Joey: That's right, yeah.
Joey: Always nice to meet a fan!
Ross: (to Joey) Oh my God!
Joey: What did I just say?
[Scene: Joey’s Apartment. Ross is filming his parents ]
Joey: (getting an idea) Hey, y'know what a really good rainy day game is?
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Joey enters the room]
Joey: All right, well, we felt really bad about that so we decided we should all take a little trip together!
Joey: Yep!
Monica: Alright, what was this sentence originally? (shows the sentence to Joey)
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Well, that is a large piece of television equipment. (Points at a large piece of television equipment as an old man walks by.) And uh that is an old man! Hey old man!
Joey: Yeah, yeah and hey, I really mean it, dude.
Monica: Hey Joey, I don’t think we can use this.
Joey: What?
Joey: Ah, look who’s back! (he sees the bags) Why do you have bags? RACH, WHY DOES SHE HAVE BAGS?
Rachel: Joey, I can’t do that!
Joey: But uhm, we're getting rid of her, right? Rach, please tell me we’re getting rid of her.
Joey: And its not fake, its totally brutal.
Joey: You slept out here?
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Rachel is in the living room and Joey comes out of his room.]
Joey: Yeah, Monica made us!
Joey: 'Cause we will appreciate it more when she’s gone?
Rachel: Well Joey, uhm look, I know that she’s difficult, but I think it’s really good that she’s here.
Joey: Fine, I'll rent a car and drive...! Ross, you have to get that job!
Emily: Ross, are you there? Ross, I dont know if you can hear this but (Ross has moved to the window, apparently so that he can hear better.) Im gonna talk anyway, uh, Im in the States with you sister and your friends and its all over with Colin. I came here to tell you that, and to tell youYes, Joey you can have all the chocolate you want, just take it! Uh, I came here to tell you that I love you.
Joey: Yeaah.
(Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.)
Chandler: Joey, we would've asked you, we just thought you wouldn't be interested.
Joey: Oh thats right. Theres a lot going on here and I think I ate some bad fruit earlier.
Joey: Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is inside, Chandler and Monica walk in.]
Monica: (surprised) They thought Joey was a child?
Rachel: No! None! I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened, so I just... (to Joey): W-well, what else did he say? I mean, does he, like, want to go out with me?
Joey: She's probably exhausted from all that adorable screaming she did last night.
Joey: But Ross, Ross. What do you, what do you think she's going to say?
Joey: Good, and hey! My treat. (He turns to go into his bedroom then stops.) But that's only because you're not eating anything, right?
Joey: Actually we prepared performances.
Joey: (Shocked) Oh! Well that's it! He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. (turns the bolts of the door, thereby locking it)
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's. Joey is in the kitchen and the telephone rings.]
Joey: Whoo-hoo! (and leaves for Rachel's room)
Rachel: (yelling) Joey, where are those bags?
Joey: (Yelling from Rachel's room) She has a lot of crap!
CHANDLER: Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor.
JOEY: Ten years I've been waiting for a break like this Chandler, ten years! I mean, Days of Our Lives. That's actually on television.
Chandler: You know what, okay, fine. Don't get up, you just sit right there. I just hope, you don't mind, you know, my hand right here. (holds his hand a couple of inches in front of Joey's face) Op, not touching, can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! (Joey flings some dip onto Phoebe's dress)