words in movies
Joey: Hey! Rachel: Congratulations! Wow!!
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
Joey: (Looking inside the fridge, and we only see his back. Then he closes the door, and we see it's Joey.) Hi sweetie!
Joey: No.
Joey: Cool!
Joey: That's great! Hey, can you cast me in it?
Joey: What do you mean? I can do anything, I'm a chameleon! Huh? (he mimes an old man with a beard) I'm old! (then he yawns) I'm tired! (then he mimes someone who's hot...) Hey, I'm hot (...and cold) I'm cold!! Huh?? Come on! What can't I do?
Joey: I can do that! (in a deeper voice) "Hello, I'm your professor. When I'm not busy thinking of important things or... professing. I like to use..." Oh, what's the product?
Joey: (after a long pause he starts miming again) I'm cold!
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Joey and Emma are there.]
Joey: Oh! Any word on casting yet?
Joey: What do you mean? Rach, don't I seem like a professor you'd buy some kind of e-crap from?
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Joey: Just watch it, and if you don't like it, you don't pass it on to your bosses!
Joey: Thank you. (he sits down)
Joey: Damn it! (he leaves)
Joey: Just pass it to your boss!
Rachel: Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys.
Chandler: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away).
Joey: What's up?
Joey: (sounds disappointed) Oh.
Joey: (looks at him suspiciously) But, ehm... you watched the tape?
Chandler: (sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!
Joey: (sounds confident) You didn't watch the tape.
Joey: Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but to lie to me?
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
Joey: Keep going Pinocchio!
Joey: (yelling back) No you didn't! (turns and goes towards his room)
Chandler: (following him) I'm telling you, I watched the tape. (Reaches Joey's room and Joey slams the door in his face)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Rachel are talking.]
Chandler: I can't believe Joey. I hate being called a liar!
(Joey comes out of his room)
Joey: You still here?
Joey: Ok whoah-hey... Let me just stop you right there, ok? First, you lied, right? Then, you lied about lying, ok? Then you lied about lying about lying, ok? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about... lying... (loses count and begins to count the number of 'lyings' in the air but gives up.) (yelling) Stop lying!
Joey: (very angry) You wanna know wh...? You wanna know why? (goes back into his room)
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment.]
Joey: (enters from his bedroom) What?
Rachel: Joey, what... is... this...thing... doing here?
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Rachel: Joey, we're not keeping this!
Joey: But it's an original Buffay...
Joey: Hey? what? what? wey! whoo! what? what!?
Rachel: Well, legend has it Joey, that... she comes alive when you're asleep.
Joey: GET THAT LEGLESS WITCH OUT OF HERE!
(Joey leaves for his bedroom, and Rachel grins. She then takes Gladys and enters Monica's apartment.)
Monica: Hey! I sold that to Joey.
Joey: That's not the point Chandler. The point is that you lied.
(we see Joey and Chandler standing there, and Chandler is wearing the blue Ichiban lipstick!)
Joey: Now, what do you say?
Joey: And?... AND?
(There are scratching and squeaking noises coming from the living room, and Joey wakes up, terrified. He pulls his blanket higher. The doorknob is turning.)
Joey: Gladys?
(The door opens, and there is Gladys, still in her frame though. Joey panics and moves frantically, screaming. Then there is laughing, and the painting is lowered. It was Rachel holding Gladys.)
Joey: You're mean!
Joey: Mia Hamm?
Joey: Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you, She's gotta know that you're everything he's not! You're like, like the anti-Paolo!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are holding the giant poking device.]
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey stares at a picture of a bay on the wall. Janine comes out of her room.]
Joey: Oh, no. Ah, I playing your husband, Victor. Im Joey Tribianni.
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Joey: Hey, how much cash do you got in your pocket right now?
Joey: Look, I don't have it all worked out yet, but it's gotta mean big money! Come on! Identical hands!
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
Joey: Well, we only had samboucha, so it is now.
(Joey leaves and Monica mouths to Chandler Oh my God!)
Joey: Look, I just need a wire something to jimmy it. Oh hey, one of you guys give me the underwire from your bra!
Joey: Its cute, huh?
[Cut to Joey entering wearing a preppy tennis outfit.]
Joey: Hey.
All: Good-bye! Good luck! (She opens the door to reveal Monica and Joey.)
Joey: Hows she doing?
Joey: Well yeah, dont-dont you think its a she?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Ross, Chandler, and Joey are entering.]
Joey: Thats not what I said. Okay, I just meant...
Joey: What?
Joey: Ohhh, here it comes.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, and hes very dejected.]
Joey: Yeah, theres this superintendents dance, the Super Ball. I dont know, and he wants to impress Marge, this lady super that hes a crush on.
Joey: Do you think well get our three bucks back?
Joey: Oh, you bet I am!
Ross: Really? (Joey gives him a Like I would know look)
Joey: Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
Chandler (Stands up and walks to Joey): Listen...this is really nice. Do you... (sees his chequebook) Did you write a cheque to Monica for two thousand dollars? Did Monica borrow money from you?
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
Joey: Shes mad because I know todays her laundry day and that means shes wearing her old lady underpants.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are being lectured by Phoebe.]
JOEY: [peeks back out] Ok, now that your coat is safely in the bedr-, [sees that the coast is clear] oh, ok we can come back out in the living room.
Joey: If you ask me, as long as you got this job, youve got nothing pushing you to get another one. You need the fear.
Joey: Its the chick! Shes going through some changes.
Joey: I got you something! Open it! Open it!
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey, yo. [they move from out of in front of the TV]
(Joey wants to know, but Chandler doesnt want to discuss it by the chick, so he and Joey move over to the windows and away from the chick.)
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Hmm -you know, actually this'll work out well. Cause when you have to move back in with Joey, Joey's hot new roommate can come and live with me.
Joey: Hey! (starts to laugh.) Hows it going?
Joey: Thats horrible! Well, you did the right thing man.
Joey: (takes phone) Hi, yeah, it's me. (Listens) Oh, no no no, we're just friends. (Listens) Yeah, I'm single. (Listens) 25. (Listens) An actor. (Listens) Hello?
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-ho-ho, I got this one. Here you go. (Hands Gunther Chandlers card.) Yknow I gotta tell ya, sometimes I justI dont get Chandler. Yknow, me and him do stuff all the time without you and you dont get all upset.
Joey: Remember when you where a kid and your Mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon?
Joey: Havent you ever read the same book over and over again?
Joey: Yeah, whats that about?
Joey: Cookie, now you can punch him!
Joey: What about the chick?
Joey: What cha doing?
Joey: Are you sure?
Joey: That's okay Mike, I have forgiven you. And now we're friends again everything's great!
JOEY: Hey. [Phoebe takes off, Joey and Chandler are thrown back in the seat]
Joey: (entering) Hey.
Joey: Okay.
CHANDLER: Yeah, he let us drive his Jaguar. Joey for 12 blocks, me for 15.
Joey: But you said one.
Kathy: Yeah, they teamed us up as partners. Joey picked three scenes for us to do; all of them had us making out.
Joey: (on the screen there's the word "Supermarket") Uhm... ok. It's a store, like a supermarket. (there is a sound indicating he made a mistake as he shouldn't have said 'supermarket'. The next word appears, "notebook") Oh! I see-I see what I did. Yeah, ok, ok, uhm... I'm writing in my...
(Joey listens to his overcoat for a second and sighs, then notices Chandler watching)
Joey: What about her? They've only been going out for two weeks. Ross has been in love with you for like 10 years.
(Joey congratulates Ross, sees Chandler's look and abruptly stops.)
Joey: Yeah, just a crush! Thats all this is! Its a crush! Im Joey; I dont get deep feelings.
Chandler: Nothing, just a little extra air in my mouth. Pffft. Pffffffft. (walks over to where Joey is seated)
Joey: Okay, what do you have a fear of if you suffer from this phobia, Tris Holy cow, thats a big word. Trisc Seriously look at this thing. Chandler, how do you say that?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyond except Monica and Joey is watching Lambchop.]
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are rehearsing.]
Joey: Oh yeah? Ross, how many items left in that bag?
Joey: Ahhh! My ah, my agent said it wasn't a dancing part.
Joey: So, so, whatd ya think?
Joey: I-I wasnt in that.
Joey: Yeah.
Ross: (to Joey) So he's calling from Rome. I could do that. Just gotta go to Rome.
Chandler: (seeing Joey) There he is!
Joey: Im on it! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich.)
Joey: Hey you guys, this is my agent, Estelle.
Joey: No, they-they werent in the play.
Joey: Hey! Are you okay?
Joey: No. Why?
Joey: Oh, classy.
JOEY: Yeah, you missed, 'Takes money to make money,' and uh, 'Don't make me come down there and kick your wall street butt.'
Joey: Six.
Joey: Oh, you didnt see the Post?
[Scene: Kates Apartment, Joey and Kate are returning from a night out on the town.]
Joey: Whoa. Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Joey: Yeah! I was thinking about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch. (Raises his eyebrows, questioning Ross to see if he wants to join him.)
JOEY: Oh, but when Phoebe has a problem, everyone's all ears!
Joey: Thanks.
Joey: Oh, absolutely! Youre talented and youre good looking.
Joey: Kate, do you even like me?
Kate: You know what I mean. I mean like the sweetest guy. Joey, youre just so, youre so, so (She passes out and slumps against his shoulder.)
Joey: Two brothers, one died!
Joey: (entering, happily) Hey!
Joey: What?
Joey: Yeah?!
Joey: You-you think?
Monica: Joey, you had the night!
Joey: (does a maniacal laugh) Bwah-hah-hah!
[cut to Joey, Rachel, and Tommy.]
Joey: Sorry! Sorry, Im late; sorry, Im late! My duck and my chick and a fight, it-it was ugly.