words in movies
Joey: Don't you put words in people's mouths, you put turkey in people's mouths!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Monica are in there, and Phoebe enters]
(Ross and Joey enter)
Ross: Hey! Hey, guess what Joey has!
Joey: Three tickets to today's Rangers game!!
Joey: Oh.
Joey: Yeah, they're great seats too!
Joey: Center ice.
Joey: So we'll leave before it's over, we'll be back in time.
Chandler: You say that now, but it could take us a long time to get back home. Plus Joey could get lost and and they could have to page us to go pick him up.
Joey: Dude, two times that happened!
Joey: Right, I guess. Alright, so see you at four.
Joey: That's some gentle comedy, dude. (he and Ross leave)
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Oh, Bob, get off the guy!
Joey: I know, yeah.
Joey: Yeah. I am sorry he's not here too, but I got to say, (takes some nachos from a plate on the seat where Chandler should have been) I am really enjoying Nacho Chair.
Joey: Ohhhh! These seats are great!
Ross: I know, I know! When I was here for Holidays on Ice (Joey looks around worried hoping no one heard that) I was sitting so far away Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner!
Joey: (looks at the time) Wow, hey, we'd better get going. If we don't leave right now, we'll be late for dinner.
Joey: I don't know...
Joey: Okay.
[Scene: The corridor. Ross and Joey have just arrived.]
Joey: How late are we?
Joey: Wow (He opens his apartment door and throws their stuff in.)
Joey: Okay. Rachel and Phoebe are already there, okay? So they probably started without us. We could just slip in and no-one needs to know where we were! (he raises his hands and on his right one there's a Rangers foam finger)
Joey: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You just want to put it on your hand!
Joey: You are not at Thanksgiving?
Joey: We figured we could be late because you guys were gonna be on time (he points the foam finger at the girls)
Joey: Yeah, where were you!
Joey: Wait a second, wait a second, where have I seen that cowgirl outfit before...
Joey: (realizing) Oh! That's Alicia Mae Emory's outfit!
Joey: All right. Hey Rach, while you're in there, throw something on Alicia Mae.
Joey: No. Here (he tears off the pocket from Ross' shirt, and tears off everything below that as well.)
Ross: (to Joey) HEY!
Chandler: (peeping) Everything is so distorted! Looks like Joey has a giant hand! Which says "Rangers" on it. They went to the game!
Joey: (whispering) Who do you think its from?
Joey: I hate that thing, it's like a... bolt of lightning.
Rachel: Oh, hey, I have an idea. Why don't we play rock-paper-scissors, and whoever loses goes in first. (they all agree) Ready? (they do the rock-paper-scissor thing with they hands and Rachel has paper, Phoebe and Ross both have rock, while Joey is doing a strange upward wiggling with his fingers. They all look a him confused).
Joey: (smiling from ear to ear) Ah-haah! I win!!
Joey: That's fire. Beats everything.
Joey: Ooh! Well played, Phoebe Buffay, well played.
Ross: (to Joey, who is wearing a blue, 3 foot hand) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE IT OFF!! (takes it off his hand and throws it on the floor)
Joey: I had a dream once about a fax machine that did that. (Ross picks it up)
Joey: (holds his fist up) WATER BALLOON! (he stuffs the slice in is mouth and gives the foil back to Ross)
(Rachel comes out of the apartment holding a pot. Joey holds in anticipation and Rachel opens it)
Joey: (to Ross) Just get in there and make a face to face apology, you know? Look them in the eye. I know I can get them to forgive us.
Joey: I'm telling ya... (his eyes open wide and he looks like his eyes are about to pop out. He stares at Ross like this without blinking) I can do it.
(Joey sticks his head through the gap. Monica and Chandler are now sitting at the dinner table. There is another smaller table full of food standing in front of the front door)
Joey: Oh! It all looks so beautiful: the turkey, the stuffing...
Joey: (still with his door wedged in the door gap, now opens his eyes wide and stares at Monica and Chandler as he did with Ross earlier in the hall) Hey listen guys, we feel really terrible.
Joey: Come on you guys, we want you to know we're (His eye widen even more) very very sorry. (Monica and Chandler are now covering their eyes with their hands) (then to the others in the hall) Right guys?
Joey: (smiling) Now let's not ruin this day. You worked so hard. Let's move past this and try to have a nice meal all together, huh?
Joey: Hey! I'm getting a little tired of this okay? We said we're sorry. It's Thanksgiving for Pete's sakes! A day of forgiveness!
Joey: (to Ross, mouthing) Don't make me come up there!
Joey: Fine! Let's just go. I don't need your stupid dinner.
Joey: Sorry!
Joey: Yeah! You three have a nice Thanksgiving.
Joey: Yeah! You, Chan, and the vein!
Joey: Ha!
(When Joey tries to pull back his head, he notices he is stuck)
Joey: Oh-oh! I'm stuck!
Monica: Joey, that is not gonna work.
Joey: No seriously... I'm really wedged in here.
Joey: (in agony) aaw-ahhh-aaahhh STOP! STOP! I'm worried about damaging my head.
Joey: Alright, hurry up, you gotta do something.
Joey: I just wanna say that I'm sorry I referred to the vein as a seperate person...
Joey: Oh, that smells good!
Joey: Okay.
(Joey tries to pull back at all his might.)
Joey: It isn't working.
Joey: Well hurry, I can't feel my ears!
Joey: Interesting...
Ross: I gave them to Joey.
Joey: I left them at the park.
Joey: It's really starting to hurt.
Joey: Ooh! Stop putting things down my pants!
Joey: Yeah! Come on!
Joey and Chandler: PUSH! PUSH! PUSH!
(The chain breaks loose from the wall, and because Joey was pushing with all his might, he propells into the kitchen, towards the table with all the food. This table has wheels underneath it, and when Joey falls on this table, he rides into the living room, with all the food falling off, until finally Joey also falls off... Joey gets up quickly, a bit agitated, and acting as nothing happened. He is covered in food stains.)
Joey: (looking at himself) Man, I've got food all over me.
(They all cheer and Rachel, Ross and Phoebe join in for a group hug. Joey also joins, but he stands back a bit, because he is all sticky of the food on him)
Joey: Oh, I know how you feel...
(Monica and Chandler are looking curiously at Joey.)
Joey: Sure. I went through the exact same thing with Alicia Mae Emory... The waiting, the wandering... Then one day... I get that call from Toys "R" Us... She was in stock!
Joey: So? Bring the dog back, you're a hero.
Joey: Oh my God! Thats huge! (Hugs him.) Wait a minute, why come I wasnt invited? And who was going to be your best man? Dont say, "Ross." Do not say, "Ross."
Joey: Wow! This looks great!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey and Phoebe are reading a scene from Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Joey: Thank God!
Joey: Ah.
Joey: Ow!
Joey: (incredulous) Why should I help you?!
Joey: Well maybe we just take that one away. (Picks it up and throws it away.)
Joey: Yeah.
Monica: Joey!
Joey: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! We have a winner!
Joey: The fruit roll up.
Joey: Delicious.
Joey: (to the camera) Hello, Im Joey Tribbiani! Lets play Bamboozled! Erin, you get the first question! In hockey, who is known as The Great One?
(Stryker enters, only its not Joey playing him.)
[Scene: The casting directors office, Joey is there to show off to the director, so to speak.]
The Casting Director: Joey, this is awkward part.
Joey: Rach we had to get out of there because, look what I won! (He whips out the award for Best Supporting Actress that he accepted for Jessica.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is sitting on the chair, and theyre all talking.]
Rachel: Joey is says Best Supporting Actress!
Joey: Probably Monica and Chandler.
Rachel: Ugh, it was horrible! And-and the interview part went so well, y'know? I even made him laugh. He said something about a boat and I was like, "Well, yeah! If you've got enough life jackets!" (She starts laughing; Chandler and Joey are not amused.) Trust me, it was actually, it was very funny. Anyway, so we were saying good-bye and ugh!
Joey: (Very discouraged) Okay, is there anything else?
Ross: No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.
Joey: (excitedly) Wow? Wow what?! Wow what?! Who youwhat?!!
Joey: (excitedly) Who you what? Who you what?!
Joey: What?!
Monica: (To Joey) They were lovers.
Joey: (entering) Hello!
Joey: Hey Rach. (Stares at her.)
Joey: Okay, I wanted to surprise you, but for your house-warming gift, I got you a baby-chick and a baby-duck!
Monica: Joey!
Joey: I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish, Monica. I'm just happy I'm keeping it down, y'know?
Joey: (looking around) You got me. I dont
Joey: Well-wellsee? Parents are comin!
Joey: (leaning down to her) Maybe youll order a little sangria?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Yeah, he did, look... look, it's right there on the counter! Ha-ho-ho!
Joey: Nice move.
Joey: I dont think so.
Joey: We should really learn how to play the real way. (Moves another piece.)
Joey: And I know both of them, theyre really good. One of them is the guy from those allergy commercials whos always getting chased by those big flowers
Phoebe: Joeys!
Joey: Okay
Joey: Hey. (Laughs then seriously) It happened!
Joey: Oh good! Can I tell her?! Can I tell her?!
Joey: (starts singing) I wanna rock and roll all night! (Falls asleep.)
Joey: Why are you taking this away from me?
Joey: Oh-ho, you should get inside my head.
Joey: Hey.
Director: (to Joey) Good job, little buddy. That was some really good French. But I think we're gonna go with someone else for the part.
Joey: Yeah, theyre not coming.
(Joey enters, wearing a mouth guard like boxers wear.)
Joey: Look Mon, if you could just call my mom
Monica: Oh Joey!
(Monica gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is startled to see Joey sitting in Monicas seat.)
[Joey and Ross get annoyed with Chandler's outburst.]
Joey: (entering) Hey.
Cecilia: So, the essence of the character is rooted in her confidence. So, when Jessica enters a room for instance, she owns everything and every person in that room. (Joey is nodding.) You try.
Ross: Sure, one year is paper, but two months is lapdance! (Joey nods his agreement.)
Joey: Right. Right. The wedding, gotcha. But I mean, its gonna start a little late right? I mean, weddings start late. Right?
Phoebe: Oh, somewhere Joeys head is exploding.
Joey: You should see the treatment I get when Im with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.
JOEY: Get outta here. This is our stop too.
Joey: (entering) Hey! Uh, Monica? Chandler? Can I talk to you guys for a second?
Chandler: The only reason you're doing this to Joey is because you're bored. Okay, it's not his fault that you're unemployed.
Joey: Oh yeah, thats just a little something for my huge gay fan base. (Winks at him.)
Joey: That sounds like another word to me! Are you gonna take this seriously? (Theres no response from Chandler.) Okay.
[Scene: The Roof, Ross and Joey are banging on the door.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still working on the seating chart as Joey enters.]
[Scene: Another hospital room, Joey has now been admitted and his doctor is about to break the bad news to him, Monica, and Chandler.]
Joey: (checks his watch) Damn! (runs out to work)
[Cut back to her room, Joey and Ross are sitting there waiting for her.]
Joey: All right, uh (To Ross) Oh hey, youve done this before Ross, well what did you say when you made up your vows?
Joey: Uh, hey, Rach let me ask you something. Uh, I was just over there talking to Monica and Chandler, boy they are really tight.
Joey: And I got custody of the kid, right? Now suppose the kid dies and-and I gotta buy a new kid.
JOEY: Hey, I'll be alright. I mean it's not like I'm starting from sqare one. I was Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives. Heh? I mean that's gotta have some kind of cache.
Joey: No-no! No, Im accepting it on her behalf. (He puts it up above the TV to display it.)
Chandler: (writes what Joey said and waits for him to go on) Yeah?
Joey: " when I look back over our time together "
Joey: Oh, I got it! How about saying something like, "Monica
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is eating breakfast as Chandler comes out of his bedroom, ripping his coat in the process.]
Joey: Oh. (Takes off the hat.) Sorry!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: (yelling through the door) Can we come it yet?! Were dying out here!
Joey: How is "Monica, I love your sweet ass," inappropriate?
Chandler: Im right! Right? There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had heat, and now theres no heat! Now you know what this means, Joey told us what this means!
Joey: Okay.
Joey: (shocked) Has it been that long?!
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! I just talked to the casting people; they loved you!
(Joey leaves and Monica comes up for air.)
Joey: IN LONDON!!!
Joey: How?! When?!
(Joey thinks it over.)
Joey: All right! Man, this is unbelievable!
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Joey: Okay, see that blind guy right there? I'm gonna bash his head in later.
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).