words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the kitchen, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the table writing one notepads while Chandler is looking over their shoulders.]
Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe: Shhhh!
Chandler: Okay, so Rachel's got 48 and Phoebe has the lead in vegetables, Joey?
Joey: Say hello to the new champ of Chandler's dumb states game.
Joey: Fifty-six!
Joey: Hey! How is New England not a state? Huh? They have a sports-team!
Chandler: Does South Oregon have a sports-team? (Joey strikes one from his list) There you go.
Ross: You know, I hate to lecture you guys, but it's kinda disgraceful, that a group of well-educated adults and Joey can't name all the states. Did you ever see a map, or one of those round, colorful things called "a globe?" Hmm?
Joey: 46. Wow! Who's well educated now, Mr. I-forgot-ten-states?
Monica: All right, I'm out of oven space. I'm gonna turn on Joey's. Please, watch him! Do not let Joey eat any of the food!
Joey: (gets up) All right. Don't look at my list, Ross, 'cause there's a lot on there that you don't have.
Monica: (entering, to Joey and Rachel) Hey, did you guys know, that your oven doesn't work?
Joey: But the drawer full of take-out menus is okay, right?
Chandler: Sure, and Joey; do not let Ross look at any of the maps or the globe in your apartment.
Joey: Don't worry, Chandler, it's not a globe of the United States.
Joey: What the hell is in there?
Monica: We left Joey alone with the food! (Walks towards the window and looks out) Yep! Yep, I knew it! There he is... feeding stuffing to a dog!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Ross is still doing his list. Rachel and Joey are feeding the dog as the phone rings.]
Joey: Yeah that dog left!
Joey: (interrupting him) Don't do it!
Chandler: (to Joey) I have to! Okay? It's time! (Joey shrugs as if to say, "Do what you have to do") Okay, I hate dogs.
Joey: Told ya. (Waves bye-bye.)
Joey: Look, Chandler, I told you, never tell anyone about this dog thing. It's like Ross not likin ice cream.
Joey: Half hour. (Rachel turns to look at him and he nods yes.)
Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo-point.
Joey: Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-hes obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Joey: Fine! Take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
Joey: (through the window) All right, he likes you back! Huh? Told ya, you should go for it!
Joey: (realizes what he said) Street noise drowned any of that out? (Rachel moves madly towards him) No, all right, I see you later, okay... (Turns away embarrassed)
Tag: What did Joey say? I like you back?
Rachel: Uh, yeah, well, see, he Joey knows, that I'm-I'm very insecure about my back and, and you're hugging me, so obviously you are not repulsed by it, yeah!
Rachel: No? (He shakes his head) All right, here's the truth um, Joey said what he said, because um, I'm attracted to you.
Joey: (entering) Okay, I'm in my sweat pants. Bring on the food! (Sees that Chandler has a worried look on his face) What's the matter?
Joey: So? Bring the dog back, you're a hero.
Joey: Chandler, it's like a big gerbil.
Joey: Ross, you need some help?
Joey: (sits down next to Ross) First of all, Utah? Dude, you can't just make stuff up!
[Joey stands up again. Rachel enters the door]
Joey: Hey! Tag's still talking to the police.
Joey: If you said it like that, you probably did, yeah.
[Rachel walks past Joey towards the couch]
Joey: Oh No-no-no-no-no-no-no! He went over to Ross' to bring the dog back here!
Joey: You think?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Look, I can sense when women are depressed and vulnerable. It's one of my gifts.
Joey: It does in mine!
Joey: Whew! Stood up to fast, got a little head rush.
[Joey walks back inside just as Rosss dance is finishing.]
Joey: Hey! What are you guys doing here? I thought youd be out partying with Gandel-worf.
Joey: Like the three musketeers, only with fruit.
Joey: Hey!!! Oww!! And Im bleeding.
Joey: Okay. Im Chandler (makes a growling/gurgling sound at the end and the girls laugh.)
Joey: If the Homo Sapiens, were in fact Homo-sapien, is that why there extinct?
Joey: Look, the point is, theres a lot of women out there you havent even had sex with yet!
Joey: (holding an empty tissue box) Wheres all the tissues?! (Throws the box down in disgust.)
Joey: Oh. (realises) Ohh. Ohh, youre out of your mind.
(Joey enters.)
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Joey: I know! I know! And Im going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They Theyre like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I I dont think we can be together. It just, it just cant work. It cant. (Starts to break up) Im very upset.
Joey: All right. Chandler, you can either spin the wheel or pick a Google card.
Joey: Hey, listen you ah....
Joey: Ah, Kate?
Joey: ...feel like getting a cup of coffee?
The Director: (to Joey) Very nice. Very nice. (he walks away)
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are there.]
Joey: Oh, and Mississ-Pete is?
Joey: (yelling from bathroom) Hey, does somebody wanna hand me one of those tiles.
Joey: Yeah! Oh my God! (to Chandler) Is this what its like to be you?
Joey: You ah, you forgot your shoes.
Joey: Better?
Joey: I don't know. I mean I like her a lot, and she's really nice, but
Joey: Oh, forget about it. She rocks!
Joey: You guys have one of those signs that says: 'We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool.', you know.
Joey: Hey, Kate!
Joey: Oh, hey! Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: Listen, I ah, went to that restaurant that you were talking about last week...
Joey: Yeah?
Joey: All right.
Monica, Ross, and Joey: (joining in) Home is Home Star stew.
Joey: (looks at her, shocked) What?!
[Cut to the tape Joey made in front of some famous place in London with a rather famous English-type person.]
Joey: Get out of here, really?!
Joey: Excellent! Lets play Bamboozled! Chandler, youll go first. What is the capital of Columbia?
Joey: Oh, it was great! I mean we walked all around the village. We went to this ice cream place, split a milkshake, 70/30 but still And guess what, Im thinking about taking her upstate to one of those bed and breakfasts.
Joey: Calm down, do you want this unit or not?
Joey: Come on baby, dont go. Please? What do you say?
Joey: Do you want me to want you to care?
Joey: What?
Joey: What?
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Joey: Okay.
Joey: I dont know.
Joey: Yeah, Ross, way to ruin it. I was just going to get dressed.
Joey: How do you mean?
Joey: Yeah, Chandler finds me so intimdating that its better if were on the same team.
Joey: Yknow what you guys? Im uh, Im gonna go too. And uh, Im sorry about everything.
Joey: All right, okay, now, we just have to make sure she doesnt find out some other way. (spins the chair around so that Ross is facing him) Did you think about the trail?
Joey: (to Kate) Ah, are you okay?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: (to Ross) Hey.
Joey: (to Monica) Hey.
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Something like that?
Joey: I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room!
Joey: You should both know, that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler? (Starts after Chandler.)
Joey: No-no, things ah, finally happened with Kate.
Phoebe: Hes just trying to show Joey how much he means to him.
Joey: Wow! Huh? (Picks up the phone) Mac Macaveli, Private Investigator!
Joey: Hey.
JOEY: Well I uh, got what I came for. [puts on moose hat] I'll uh, I'll see you guys.
Joey: Y'know, about what happened with us.
Joey: Nooo.
Joey: Hi, Lauren.
[Scene: Westminster Abbey, Joey and Chandler have successfully navigated the streets of London and are approaching the Abbey.]
Joey: Y'know, I'd walk back to London for another frosty one of those bad boys.
Joey: It's a rented tux. Okay. I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is talking on the phone.]
Joey: Mia Hamm?
Joey: Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you, She's gotta know that you're everything he's not! You're like, like the anti-Paolo!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are holding the giant poking device.]
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey stares at a picture of a bay on the wall. Janine comes out of her room.]
Joey: Oh, no. Ah, I playing your husband, Victor. Im Joey Tribianni.
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Joey: Hey, how much cash do you got in your pocket right now?
Joey: Look, I don't have it all worked out yet, but it's gotta mean big money! Come on! Identical hands!
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
Joey: Well, we only had samboucha, so it is now.
(Joey leaves and Monica mouths to Chandler Oh my God!)
Joey: Look, I just need a wire something to jimmy it. Oh hey, one of you guys give me the underwire from your bra!
Joey: Its cute, huh?
[Cut to Joey entering wearing a preppy tennis outfit.]
Joey: Hey.
All: Good-bye! Good luck! (She opens the door to reveal Monica and Joey.)
Joey: Hows she doing?
Joey: Well yeah, dont-dont you think its a she?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Ross, Chandler, and Joey are entering.]
Joey: Thats not what I said. Okay, I just meant...
Joey: What?
Joey: Ohhh, here it comes.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, and hes very dejected.]
Joey: Yeah, theres this superintendents dance, the Super Ball. I dont know, and he wants to impress Marge, this lady super that hes a crush on.
Joey: Do you think well get our three bucks back?