words in movies
Gunther: (In his head) Say Rachel, I was wondering if youd like to go to a movie with me sometime. As my lover! Nnnsch, to out there. Maybe youd just like to ah, get something to eat with me sometime? As my lover.
Mark: Ive kinda of had this ah, this crush on you. (Rachel is shocked) But since you were with Ross, I-I didnt do anything about it. But, now that youre not, Id really like to ask you out sometime. So-so thats-thats what Im doing, now.
Monica: Noo!! Its driving me crazy. I mean every other way hes like the perfect guy, he has everything. Plus! He actually has everything.
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
Ross: Then be supportive like a guy.
Rachel: Oh, y'know, its just like hats, and a shirt, and CDs, just sort of stuff that youve left here.
Ross: No!! Y'know-y'know dont do me any favours. In fact, where, wheres the rest of my stuff?! Huh? Like-like my umm, (picks up a book) Hey, this book is mine!! And-and-and, and that T-shirt you sleep in? Id like that back too. Yes, I do.
Phoebe: So, youre like a zillionaire? (Pete smiles and nods)
Phoebe: Y'know what, you should like, you should buy a state and then just name it after yourself.
Pete: What like Pete Dakota?
Monica: Absolutely! (He goes to kiss her, but she stops him and rubs his head and says...) Now get out of here you!! (Pete leaves) (to the gang) Okay, Im running out of places I can touch him! Look, is there something wrong with me? I mean why am I only attracted to guys where theres no future? Either theyre too old, or theyre too young, and then theres Pete whos-whos crazy about me, and whos absolutely perfect for me, and theres like zip going on! I mean, seriously, does it sound like somethings wrong with me?!
The Director: Tasty! Im really starting to feel like you guys have a history, its-its nice.
Ross: Hey, its been like three weeks!
Rachel: Oh. Thats so Monica can keep track. That way if one on them is missing, she can be like, Wheres number 27?!
Pete: Oh, yeah. Wasnt that like a year ago?
Chandler: I dont think this town is big enough for both of us to relax in. (He blows on his hand) Draw!! (He quickly pulls the lever to raise the foot rest, like a gunfighter in a Western.)
Joey: Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks shes like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread!
Joey: ...feel like getting a cup of coffee?
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Hey! (Chandler looks up, startled) Why isnt it Spiderman? Yknow like Goldman, Silverman...
Chandler: No, its not like, like Phil Spiderman. Hes a spider, man. Y'know like ah, like Goldman is a last name, but theres no Gold Man.
Phoebe: Okay. All right you yellow-bellied-lilly-livered-DRAW!! (they both kick up the foot rests like an old fashioned gun fight.)
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
Rachel: Ross, you're like my best friend.
Chandler: Oh, so being a good friend means acting like a total jerk?
Monica: Well, of course I do. What's not to like! I'll take her in a minute! But, you know, I think that you're giving up too easy, honey. I think that you need to fight for her!
(pause before Monica and Chandler speak, they look like they are looking for the right words)
Monica: Why? It's just that I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this, and you can't even wait four and a half minutes for a stupid onion tartlet?
Rachel: Well, you might want to tell him it sounds like his wife is (whispers) gay.
Joey: Well, okay. You were my girlfriend and we were doing the crossword puzzle. Y'know like you guys were doing last night. So, that's it. I'm in love with Monica and I'll be moving out.
Joey: Yeah, I uh weighted like 27 pounds when I was born so
(They all cross they're arms like the Power Rangers do)
Chandler: Yeah, like in a cab...
Chandler: (Tapping Ross on his shoulder) So, you feel like a dad yet?
PHOEBE: Oh, oh, OK, so everyone, pretend like I'm telling you a story, OK. And, and it's really funny. So everyone just laugh, now.
Joey: Man, hell of a two weeks, huh? Y'know what, though? I really feel like I learned something.
Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?
Ross: No, no, no... why, because it might get weird for everyone else? Who cares about them. This is about us. Look, I-I've been in love with you since, like, the ninth grade.
Rachel: (stands up as well) What?! Me?! What about you and your consummated like bunnies nonsense!
Joey: (on tape) Okay, so say hi to my friend and tell him that you like the hat.
Phoebe: Do you like car games?
Phoebe: Oh, honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient who thinks things are, like, other things. Y'know? Like, the phone rings and she takes a shower.
Phoebe: Yeah, ooh, I like that! Yeah. Wait! How do you know about bah-bah-bha-bhan?
Monica: (gets up) OK, how does everybody like their burgers?
Joey: All right, look Im sorry you guys, but its just that I gotta get these new head shots made. And theyre really expensive, yknow? Im down to like three! Well, actually two cause one of em I kinda blackened in some teethWhy did I do that?! (Hits himself in the head.)
Joey: Yeah and the most important thing is that it wont be some like, stranger up there who barely knows you. Itll be me! And I swear Ill do a really good job. Plus, yknow I love you guys and-and it would really mean a lot to me.
Mike: So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love...
Julie: Thanks. Hey, listen, would you like to go to a movie sometime or something?
Rachel: Phoebe, come on, I don't wanna waste it! It would be like throwing away a hundred bucks!
Joey: I agree. I'm, like, in disbelief.
MONICA: No. Um, I know you like this, and I want you to have it. I think it'll look good in our apartment.
Chandler: Oh, you do? Because she said you guys havent talked in like years.
ROSS: [to Chandler] So what's it shaped like?
Rachel: Hi, I thought you might like some ice chips.
Chandler: What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing.
Tag: Are you kidding me?! With a cute butt like this, Id find work.
JOEY: But this is a two line part, it's like takin' a step backwards. I'm not gonna do this.
RACHEL: OK Julie, so now let's start with your childhood, what was that like?
Joey: I would like to meet him. He sounds like a stand up guy.
Chandler: Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors, anyway? Was, like, your father a doctor?
Joey: He's right, cause if you're just gonna, like, break his heart, that's the kind of thing that can wait.
Monica: Hey, Rach. How was it with your friends? (She and Phoebe scream.) Okay! How would you like some Tiki Death Punch? (She pours the contents of the blender into some glasses.)
Joey: Well I dont like to say it out loud, but, yeah! Dont feel bad man, we all have our strengths. Youre better with numbers and stuff.
MONICA: Like?
PHOEBE: Oh, it's like a skit.
Rachel: Oh. Oh yeah, dont get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like hes a doctor, but hes not.
Ross: (to Ben) I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody.
Phoebe: Thats like the pervert motto! Yeah! Yeah! They have you raise your right hand, put your left hand down your pants, and repeat that!
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers start singing smelly, smelly, smelly, smelly behind her] Oh woah, oh my God. I mean like, who was that?
RACHEL: Wow, he must like you the best.
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Chandler's coming and he says he has, like, this incredible news, so when he gets here, we could all act like, you know...
Ross: Thats correct! This is an audio question, what do you do when the baby makes this sound? (Makes a sound like someone is choking a cat.)
Chandler: Hell is filled with people like you.
Ross: Oh, I thought you guys had just been on like four dates, I didnt realise that had become anything, yet.
JOEY: Oh, what about that thing he did when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats. You never even saw the money, it was like this. [With money in his palm] Hey Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats [shakes his had and passes the dollar].
Monica: That's Dudley Moore. I said I wanted it like Demi Moore.
Joey: Oh, hey. Come on man, don't look at me like that, she used to drive you nuts before too, remember?
WAITER: So, would you like any dessert?
Monica: Well, I was thinking, that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine?
Chandler: Oh yes, yes, we could play some other game... like, uh, I don't know... Pictionary?
Rachel: No! Joey please! Please dont! Please dont leave like this! Now come on, you cannot do this to a pregnant woman! (Starts to cry.)
Joey: Yeah! Oh my God! (to Chandler) Is this what its like to be you?
Eric: Not really. You youre blurry, but you still look like Ursula. Youre Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe If I-if I just dont look at you for a while. (Stands up and turns his back to her.) See? It it works. Im not, Im not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
Ross: Because she's just going to shoot me down. You guys saw what happened with Gunther. That did not look like fun.
Chandler: Okay, worst case scenario. Say you never feel like a father.
Ross: No! I made it seem like I was just calling to chat. Pretty sure, they both think Im interested in them.
CHANDLER: Yes, apparently Stevie and the band are like this.
PHOE: Oh, oh sweet Lord! This is what evil must taste like!
Joey: Look, Im telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here (He puts his hand down his pants, like Al Bundy on Married With Children always used to do.) it doesnt hurt that bad.
Rachel: (Like a big baby) Um... unless, unless I use yours.
Chandler: Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Dina: Bobby Corso, but hes a real nice guy. I like him a lot. Hes real funny.
Rachel: So I thought Joey and I would be okay once we hung out, but its not even like we know how to be with each other anymore.
MONICA: So, wait, you really did like my cookies?
Ross: Joey, its worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her.
(Ross gets down like all the other mothers, cradled in Susans lap like all the other fathers.)
Ross: Well we gotta do something, ok? Nannies like her don't grow on trees. (pause)
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
ROSS: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Monica: Really? Cause I'd need like $500 for all the food and the supplies and stuff.
Ross: Oh, it looks like mom and dads house. Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front and the uh, the window in the attic is Oh my God!!
Susan: Oh, hes fine. Hes fine. Its just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesnt like me.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is walking from the bathroom to his bedroom and walks past a pile of Rachels laundry, which just happens to include a selection of panties. He stops, goes back to the basket, looks for Rachel, picks up a lavender thong, and heads for his bedroom. However, he decides he doesnt like his selection and goes back this time picking up a red low-cut silk brief and heads for his room, flexing along the way to prove his masculinity.]
Joey: Rachel... let's be clear on this, ok? I do not love Hugsy. I like him a normal amount...
ROSS: Hey, here's a theme: Come on in, live like bacon.
Guest #2: (sees the cake) Oh my God! Someone cut Howard's cake! (Ross tries dumping it into a nearby plant.) Who would do a think like that?
Phoebe: That was supposed to be a good thing, I forget why. Just listen, Monica, I, do you know, okay, do you know, I couldnt sleep for like a month because I got like a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions.
PHOE: No, not wieght... y'know, more like insulation.
Ross: (laughing) Why, why you do, like with the-the toe separators?
Phoebe Sr.: So I guess youd like to know how it all happened.
MONICA: My brother, the PhD would like to know if there's any way to treat this orally.
Phoebe: Yknow thats really fair. Yknow? Most guys who have been divorced three times are like 60. Ross, nobody cares about this except you! This-this embarrassment thing is all in your head! Here, Ill show you! Come here.
JOEY: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this.
Agency guy: (he enters with Erica) Monica, Chandler. I'd like you to meet Erica.
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know
Rachel: It was ... (can't remember) oh my god. He didn't have a last name. It was just "Tag". You know, like Cher, or, you know, Moses.
RACHEL: You think about stuff like that?
Monica: Nononononono. Think who you're dealing with here. I mean, I'm not like you. I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class.
Monica: Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
Joey: I know, yeah. I feel like we're all growing up. Person named Wiener, God that kills me. (Laughs)