words in movies
ROSS: That commercial always makes me so sad.
ROSS: I meant because the monkey in it reminds me of Marcel.
PHOEBE: Oh, I would love to have kids. . . you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them.
JOEY: OK, we'll just leave, and when we pass her on the stairs, she won't know it's me 'cause we've never met. CHANDLER: That's how radio stars escape stalkers.
ERICA: It's me.
ROSS: Well, ya know, someone should have called me.
CHANDLER: Hey, just because this woman thinks she can actually see Joey through the magical box in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person. I mean, does she not deserve happiness, does she not deserve love? What're you lookin' at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac.
PHOEBE: I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm used to playing for grown-ups. Ya know, they just, grown-ups drink their coffee and do their grown-up thing, ya know, and kids listen. This is a huge responsibility. What? Are you gonna kiss me?
ERICA: Oh Drake, you are so talented, let me see those hands. Oh these hands, these beautiful hands, oh I could just eat them. . . but I won't.
JANITOR: Meet me in the nocturnal house in 15 minutes.
ERICA: No, no no no, you don't have to tell me anything. You don't have to explain yourself to me. Ooh, who am I to question the great Dr. Drake Remore?
ROB: Because that would be fantastic. What? You wanna kiss me?
ROSS: Oh my God. But the zoo told me that my monkey was dead.
ROSS: That, that's the only thing the zoo's ever told me.
ROSS: Are you trying to get me to bribe you?
ROSS: But you already told me everything.
JOEY: Right, they uh, they choppered me in. What's up?
ERICA: You told me I was the only one. [throws a glass of water in his face]
JOEY: Somebody wanna help me out here?
RACHEL: Yes, yes it is true. And I know this because, because he pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me. [throws water in his face]
MONICA: And then he told me he would run away with me, and he didn't. [throws water in his face]
JOEY: Yes, I'm afraid it is. You deserve much better than me Erica. You deserve to be with the real Drake, he's the one you fell in love with. Go to Salem, find him, he's the guy for you.
PHOEBE: No. What do you, what do you want me to be, like some stupid, big, like, purple dinosaur?
KID: Excuse me. Is this where the singing lady is that tells the truth?
PHOEBE: Um, yeah I guess that's me.
ROSS: Uh, excuse me, uh, where can we find the monkey?
SECURITY GUARD: Uh, excuse me folks this is a uhh...
ROSS: I don't get it, he seemed so happy to see me yesterday.
JOEY: Uh, excuse me. Jerry is the director, which one's he?
JOEY: Gotcha. Phoebs, walk with me.
JOEY: Well, we're, we're just goin' over here so that we can get away from the horrible flesh eating virus, for the love of God woman, listen to me. Is he lookin', is he lookin'?
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: Tell me.
SUSIE: It looks like one of her eyebrows fell down. Now unless someone convinces her to let me bleach it, Jean-Claude Van Damme is gonna be making out with Gabe Kaplan.
SUSIE: Excuse me.
CHANDLER: Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?
MONICA: He could hear me.
RACHEL: Excuse me. Hi.
SUSIE: Oh that's me, I gotta go.
SUSIE: Um, so listen, how many times am I gonna have to touch you on the arm before you ask me on a date.
RACHEL: Agh, what a jerk. I kept talking about you and he kept asking me out. I mean, naturally, you know, I said no.
MONICA: Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can. Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do...
RACHEL: And then Jean-Claude took me to that place Crossroads and that's where we hung out with Drew Barrymore.
ROSS: Hey Joey I have to cancel racketball for tonight, that was Marcel's trainer. He's gonna let me have him for a couple of hours.
JOEY: You're blowin' me off for a monkey?
CHANDLER: Hey, stick a fork in me, I am done.
CHANDLER: OK, then, eat me, I'm done.
CHANDLER: I've met the perfect woman. OK, we're sitting on her couch, we're fooling around, and then suddenly she turns to me and says, 'Do you ever want to do it in an elevator?'
CHANDLER: You want me to wear your panties?
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
MONICA: You sold me out.
RACHEL: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
MONICA: Did you just flick me?
RACHEL: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
MONICA: You flicked me first.
RACHEL: Oh, what do you, you want me to stop seeing him, is that what you want?
RACHEL: You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want?
ROSS: Thanks for letting me tag along tonight you guys.
SUSIE: Meet me in the bathroom. [she leaves for the bathroom]
CHANDLER: Well, you want me to uh, clench anything, or-... Susie? Susie.
SUSIE: Well um, why don't you call me in 20 years and tell me if you're still upset about this. [she leaves with his clothes]
MONICA: Well, what made you make the exception for me?
VAN DAMME: 'Cause Rachel told me uh, you were dying to have a threesome with me and uh, Drew Barrymore. By the way, Drew has some groundrules and...
RACHEL: You give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara.
CHANDLER: I was not trying them out, Susie asked me to wear them.
JOEY: Well, let me see.
ROSS: What? Let me see. [climbs up in the other adjoining stall]
CHANDLER: Alright, one of you give me your underpants.
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
VAN DAMME: [to Rachel] I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and me, [to Monica] or you and me. Drew was very disappointed.
MONICA: Well, bye for me too. [kisses him]
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry, no. He did ask me one. Uhm... How do you spell Mboscodictiosaur?
Ross: Thank you, Dr. Phillips, but Im having my lunch at this table, here in the middle. Im having lunch right here, with my good friend Joey, if hell sit with me.
RACHEL: And then, I don't know, I mean you'd pull me really close to you so that, so that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you. And, um, it would get kind of sweaty and uh, and blurry, and then it's just happening.
Joey: Okay. All right. You look me in the eye and tell me, without blinking, that you're not breaking up with her. No blinking.
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
Ross: Oh no, maybe it's me, I'm just not giving you enough credit. Uh, I mean it is difficult to say goodbye to five people. Uh, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, good... (makes choking noises) IT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. You know what? After all we've been through, I can't believe this is how you want to leave things between us. Have a, have a good time in Paris. (He leaves the apartment. Rachel looks kind of desperate.)
Phoebe: You're welcome. I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anybody. And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority, and then he killed himself, and then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel.
Ross: Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding! Ah, how about you told me you loved me after I was already married!
Rachel: Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean its like every guy I seeI mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean normally thats not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the way Im feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Rachel: (fake disappointment) All right. All right Phoebe I will let you have him, but you owe me; you owe me big!
Rachel: Ross, that was a Halloween costume, unless you would like me to go to this thing as Little Bo Peep.
Ross: (pause) Youre right, thanks for keeping me honest dad.
Chandler: Yes. Yes, thanks for letting me use your phone... and for saving my life.
Chandler: It is to me. You wanted to sleep with Batman, and instead you had to settle for Robin. (Walks out and slams the door.)
Ross: Chandler, have you ever put on a black cocktail dress and asked me up to your hotel room?
Chandler: Stop it! Youre killing me! I think I just moved on to Phase Four!
Janice: So I'm asking you please, take a moment before you judge me.
Janice: Oh. God, crazy Chandler. He spun me...off...the...bed!
Emily: How can you do this too me?! I thought I'd made my feelings about Rachel perfectly clear!
Joey: I know! Im sorry! The guys drunk, they wont let me go until we get this.
Monica: Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs. (Laura looks shocked)
Rachel: Oh, I blew it. I wouldnt of even hired me.
Jill: Yeah but it wasnt for me, it was for a friend.
Kim: My late husband gave me that lighter. (Rachel laughs.) I'm not kidding.
Joey: All right, youre probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, (Chandler gets ready to throw another dart) I would ah, I would bow out.
Billy: Thomas, this is gonna be hard, but I wanted it to come from me, and nobody else.
Phoebe: Okay, so Im done my part, okay. Its your responsibility now, okay. The burden is off me, right?
Rachel: Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!
Rachel: I know. I know. I panicked, I panicked. I didnt want him to start yelling at me like I was some 74 Latour.
Monica: No no, it's not working on me. Wow! I must be growing up!
Rachel: Wh, Ross what do you want from me? You want me, you want me to quit my job so you can feel like you have a girlfriend?
Phoebe: Yes! I do! All the time! I love them! Oh my God! I did it! Its me! Its me! I burned down the house! I burned down the house!
Earl: No! Thats just the "Hey Guy" guy. He says that to everybody! Hes the worst! Id like to take him with me!
Rachel: Oh! Y'know what? You're right! We meet, you flirted and then bamn nine years later you had me!
Joey: Fine! Take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
Rachel: And so I had a lot of work to do so Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to help me out. And then we had a little wine, we got to talking, and the next thing you know out of nowhere Ross comes on to me.
Rachel: Excuse me? Can I help you with anything?
Chandler: But wait a minute though, how are we gonna get there, though, because my Mom wont let me cross the street.
Monica: Because your all gonna make up fake specials and make me cook them like you did the other night?
Laura: Oh! Well, actually, before we look around, let me make sure I have everything I need up to here...
Second Message: "Listen, oh... it turns I got the last spot. I'm really sorry man, it was a lot of fun working with you. Give me a call if you want."
Julio: Things that move me. The, the shadow of a tree, a child laughing, or this lip. (points to her lip)
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
Monica: Why would I say anything? That two of our best friends could start the greatest love affair of their lives! And they would have me to thank, and we could all start having babies?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Chandler: (from his bedroom) All right, so you're telling me that I have to tell racist jokes now?!
Gary: No. But that reminds me, (handing back a clipboard) sign this.
Phoebe: Yeah, I wanted to call and tell you that there's no hard feelings for firing me.
Nurse: Fill this out and bring it back to me.
Monica: I know! I know! I am a terrible person! I mean, Chandler is never going to trust me with anything ever again!
Ross: Nono, me neither. Although, uh, y'know, back in college, Susan Sallidor did.
Rachel: Noooo... the interview! She loved me! She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours, we have the same taste in clothes, andoh, I went to camp with her cousin... And, oh, the job is perfect. I can do this. I can do this well!
Monica: You have to help me! Im supposed to be writing my vows and all I have is this! (Shows them what shes been working on.)
Bob: Its Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bings office is?
Monica: (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5 (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old number! Jennys been giving it out since they moved!
Chandler: So ah, Joey tells me you two met in acting class.
Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?
Chandler: All right. Look, Im gonna go in here, and you dont buy me anything ever. (starts to go into the store)
Ross: So what, Joey? Wh-wh-what? What are you telling me? That theres nothing we can do? Well, how could this happen?!
Rachel: Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you!
Phoebe: All in good time my love. All in good time. Oh shoot! I left my guitar in their apartment. Well you can let me in later.
Elizabeth: Oh please! It was such a big class! You never even noticed me!
Richard: Yeah hes no good. Do you ever (pause) think about me in a (pause) non-eye doctor way?
Joey: (entering) (He clears his throat to get their attention.) Hey, Rach? Sorry to interrupt but umm, Phoebe wanted me to talk to you about a trip or something.
Joey: All right, I should get going, big day a work. Yknow Im in a coma? Today, they do this test on me and it turns out Im not brain dead.
Rachel: Well, uhm... whatever, I have really appreciated it, 'cause I don’t think I would be the person that I am today if it wasn’t for you guys. See, I wanna help Amy the way you guys helped me. And I know it’s gonna take patience, but that’s ok.
Phoebe: (doing Clunkers) Please don't leave me, I'll be lonely.
RACHEL: No, I know, they're from me. Look you guys this is not good. I mean we have enough trouble with guys stealing our wind without taking it from each other.
Ross: (To the still half asleep Professor) Oh my God! You really want me to be the keynote speaker? Thank you! (hugs him whilst still on his lap)
Monica: Do NOT let me sit in one of those. We'll be here for days.
Monica: Hey, check me out, Im a slut!
CHANDLER: Oh well it's not me, it's my character, Chandy. Yeah the rogue processor who seduces his co-worker's wives for sport and then laughs about it the next day at the water cooler. In fact, I have her panties right there in my drawer.
Monica: Ross let me ask you a question. All jokes aside, where is this relationship going?
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
The Salesman: (Interrupting the flashback) Excuse me, Im sorry, you havent said anything for about two and a half minutes, are you at all interested?
CHANDLER: Joey, Joey. Hey, some girl just walked up to me and said, 'I want you Dennis,' and stuck her tounge down my throat. I love this party.
Chandler: Me asking is kind of a sign.
Chandler: I mean, You wouldn't want any part of me to get any bigger would you? Don't answer that.
Phoebe: (Smiling blankly) Right, and its me.
Emil Alexander: That was me.
Chandler: I dont know if Ive told you this, but hes kinda tried to get in contact with me a lot over the last few years
Ross: Well look, I'm just trying to focus on the "I get to see my wife," part, all right? And not the part that makes me do this. (He takes a big swig of Pepto Bismol.)
Ross: Anyway, if she, if she wasnt in to me, why-why would she ask me out again?
Ross: What a weird way to kick me when Im down.
Chandler: (gets up) (softly) Wish me luck.
Joey: Listen I uh (He takes her hand.) Its a scary world out there especially if youre a single mom. Yknow, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Yknow? So, (gets down on one knee again) Rachel Green will you marry me?
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Rachel: Ross, things aren't gonna be weird between us, right? I mean was that just the stupidest thing, me telling you that?
Phoebe: I thought Id try to take a walk. Would you pour me some water? Ill be back soon.
Janine: Well, me and my dancer friends are thinking of doing Thanksgiving uptown. I thought you guys might like to come.
Rachel: Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this.
Chandler: Sir, can I ask you to umm, could you hold out that ring and ask me to marry you?
PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.
Chandler: Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on me!
Rachel: Well, it wasn't just me, alright? He freaked out too! He couldn't even undo my bra!
Rachel: (to Dr. Franzblau) Ok, so anyway, you were telling me about Paris, it sounds fascinating.
Ross: And I can even understand that you couldnt tell Rachel, but why couldnt you tell me, huh? You had all day to and you didnt.
Ross: Look sweetie, I could be the bigger man, I could be the biggest man, I could be a big, huge, giant man, and it still wouldnt make any difference, except that I could pick your Father up and say Like me! Like me tiny doctor!
Rachel: (joining them) Well, I just checked our messages and Joshua didnt call. I mean youd think hed be worried about me not showing up at his club. Ugh, you know what makes it so much worse, Ross is all happy in Vermont!
Monica: What? Wait! Why? (He turns and heads for the door and she chases after him.) Chandler! Chandler! Wait! Im sorry, I was just playing for one second! I was trying to find you to tell you that, look if you don't want me to see Richard again, I won't! He means nothing to me!