words in movies
ROSS: That commercial always makes me so sad.
ROSS: I meant because the monkey in it reminds me of Marcel.
PHOEBE: Oh, I would love to have kids. . . you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them.
JOEY: OK, we'll just leave, and when we pass her on the stairs, she won't know it's me 'cause we've never met. CHANDLER: That's how radio stars escape stalkers.
ERICA: It's me.
ROSS: Well, ya know, someone should have called me.
CHANDLER: Hey, just because this woman thinks she can actually see Joey through the magical box in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person. I mean, does she not deserve happiness, does she not deserve love? What're you lookin' at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac.
PHOEBE: I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm used to playing for grown-ups. Ya know, they just, grown-ups drink their coffee and do their grown-up thing, ya know, and kids listen. This is a huge responsibility. What? Are you gonna kiss me?
ERICA: Oh Drake, you are so talented, let me see those hands. Oh these hands, these beautiful hands, oh I could just eat them. . . but I won't.
JANITOR: Meet me in the nocturnal house in 15 minutes.
ERICA: No, no no no, you don't have to tell me anything. You don't have to explain yourself to me. Ooh, who am I to question the great Dr. Drake Remore?
ROB: Because that would be fantastic. What? You wanna kiss me?
ROSS: Oh my God. But the zoo told me that my monkey was dead.
ROSS: That, that's the only thing the zoo's ever told me.
ROSS: Are you trying to get me to bribe you?
ROSS: But you already told me everything.
JOEY: Right, they uh, they choppered me in. What's up?
ERICA: You told me I was the only one. [throws a glass of water in his face]
JOEY: Somebody wanna help me out here?
RACHEL: Yes, yes it is true. And I know this because, because he pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me. [throws water in his face]
MONICA: And then he told me he would run away with me, and he didn't. [throws water in his face]
JOEY: Yes, I'm afraid it is. You deserve much better than me Erica. You deserve to be with the real Drake, he's the one you fell in love with. Go to Salem, find him, he's the guy for you.
PHOEBE: No. What do you, what do you want me to be, like some stupid, big, like, purple dinosaur?
KID: Excuse me. Is this where the singing lady is that tells the truth?
PHOEBE: Um, yeah I guess that's me.
ROSS: Uh, excuse me, uh, where can we find the monkey?
SECURITY GUARD: Uh, excuse me folks this is a uhh...
ROSS: I don't get it, he seemed so happy to see me yesterday.
JOEY: Uh, excuse me. Jerry is the director, which one's he?
JOEY: Gotcha. Phoebs, walk with me.
JOEY: Well, we're, we're just goin' over here so that we can get away from the horrible flesh eating virus, for the love of God woman, listen to me. Is he lookin', is he lookin'?
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: Tell me.
SUSIE: It looks like one of her eyebrows fell down. Now unless someone convinces her to let me bleach it, Jean-Claude Van Damme is gonna be making out with Gabe Kaplan.
SUSIE: Excuse me.
CHANDLER: Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?
MONICA: He could hear me.
RACHEL: Excuse me. Hi.
SUSIE: Oh that's me, I gotta go.
SUSIE: Um, so listen, how many times am I gonna have to touch you on the arm before you ask me on a date.
RACHEL: Agh, what a jerk. I kept talking about you and he kept asking me out. I mean, naturally, you know, I said no.
MONICA: Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can. Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do...
RACHEL: And then Jean-Claude took me to that place Crossroads and that's where we hung out with Drew Barrymore.
ROSS: Hey Joey I have to cancel racketball for tonight, that was Marcel's trainer. He's gonna let me have him for a couple of hours.
JOEY: You're blowin' me off for a monkey?
CHANDLER: Hey, stick a fork in me, I am done.
CHANDLER: OK, then, eat me, I'm done.
CHANDLER: I've met the perfect woman. OK, we're sitting on her couch, we're fooling around, and then suddenly she turns to me and says, 'Do you ever want to do it in an elevator?'
CHANDLER: You want me to wear your panties?
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
MONICA: You sold me out.
RACHEL: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
MONICA: Did you just flick me?
RACHEL: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
MONICA: You flicked me first.
RACHEL: Oh, what do you, you want me to stop seeing him, is that what you want?
RACHEL: You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want?
ROSS: Thanks for letting me tag along tonight you guys.
SUSIE: Meet me in the bathroom. [she leaves for the bathroom]
CHANDLER: Well, you want me to uh, clench anything, or-... Susie? Susie.
SUSIE: Well um, why don't you call me in 20 years and tell me if you're still upset about this. [she leaves with his clothes]
MONICA: Well, what made you make the exception for me?
VAN DAMME: 'Cause Rachel told me uh, you were dying to have a threesome with me and uh, Drew Barrymore. By the way, Drew has some groundrules and...
RACHEL: You give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara.
CHANDLER: I was not trying them out, Susie asked me to wear them.
JOEY: Well, let me see.
ROSS: What? Let me see. [climbs up in the other adjoining stall]
CHANDLER: Alright, one of you give me your underpants.
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
VAN DAMME: [to Rachel] I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and me, [to Monica] or you and me. Drew was very disappointed.
MONICA: Well, bye for me too. [kisses him]
Rachel: Ooh, I was soo nervous about that letter. But the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much youve grown. Y'know?
MONICA: Fortunately, it is me. And, they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much. Anyway, I just ran into Ross and Chandler downstairs, and they think we should go out and celebrate. You know, someplace nice.
Ross: That is a great idea! And! I know Ugly Naked Guy because we've been watching him for like five years so that gives me back my edge! Oh, let's see now he had the trampoline.
Joshua: Kidding! (Rachel is relived) Im gonna get there early, but Im going to put you on the V.I.P list, okay? Look for me.
CHANDLER: Oh yeah, your uh, name came up in a uh, conversation that terrified me to my very soul.
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Ross: Yeah? Me too. (Pause) Gettin a little tired though.
Chandler: Hey, come on, give me a break, I'm out on a limb here.
Chandler: Janices birthday is coming up, I want to get her something speacial. Come in here with me.
Ross: Im telling you. Im telling you. Thats what it is. No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding. She didnt say anything to you?
Zack: Ok listen, you guys have shown a lot of interest in me tonight and I'm flattered and... and quite frankly a little frightened. Can we just talk about something else?
Rachel: Oh, between you telling him that I wanted to have a fling and me putting out on the first dateoh, hes so gonna get the wrong idea.
Joey: Wha? Wha..aa? Let me get the father. Hey, we need a father over here! We need a father!
Rachel: No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I cant believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
Rachel: You guys this cat is nothing like my grandmother's cat. I mean, it's not sweet, it's not cute, I even dragged that little string on the ground, and it just flipped out and scratched the hell out of me. And I swear, I know this sounds crazy, but every time this cat hisses at me I know it's saying, "Rachel!"
Rachel: Its all gonna be okay. Theyre just so happy that Im not suing them that they gave me one extra month paid maternity leave. So long as I understand that the money should not construed as a down payment on this or any other child I should bear.
Ross: Dont ask me, I had it and I blew it!
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey! You cant leave Joey! You agreed to buy that boat, all right?! That is a contract! And plus if you leave, my boss is gonna kill me!
Woman: Excuse me, I-I couldnt help overhearing, youre marrying Chandler Bing?
RACHEL: No, listen to me. I fell for you and I get clobbered. You then fall for me and I again, somehow, get clobbered. I'm tired of being clobbered, ya know, it's, it's just not worth it.
Joey: yeah and hey thanks again for letting me having that last piece of cake at the restaurant.
Ross: (thinking) Oh. (Pause) Oh! Oh my God! Okay, I know this, give me-give me a second!
Phoebe: Oh, I am having the best karma this week. First, I find this woman who knew my parents, and then my client with the fuzzy back gives me his beach house.
Phoebe: Hey you guys wait! Guys! (Catches up to them.) This place is so much better than London! Okay? This lady dressed like Cleopatra gave me a coupon, 99 cent steak and lobster dinner. Huh!
Ross: (looking) Nono, that would be me again. I'm, uh, just trying something.
Chandler: (entering) All right! Okay! I think I am making some progress with Joey, when I went into the apartment he went straight into his bedroom but he only slammed the door once! (Ross is pleased.) I mean yeah, he gave me the finger while doing it.
Bitter lady: (now yelling) Well, you're not gonna get one! Because in life there are no intermissions, people. Chapter 7: Divorce is a 4 letter word. (Now standing right in front of Chandler and bending down almost to his level as if speaking to him, yelling even louder) How could he leave me?!?!
Joey: Oh, I'd love to, but I gotta get up so early the next day and so, you know me, work comes first
Chandler: Excuse me little one, I have a very solid backhand.
Chandler: Oh, I can't believe my sperm have low motility because, let me tell you, when I was growing up they sure seem to be in a hurry to get places!!
Rachel: (interrupting her) Oh Phoebe, thats a great story. Can you tell it to me when youre getting me some iced tea? (Phoebe gets up and Rachel groans.) (To the baby) Oh God, get out! Get out!! Get out!! Get out!!
Rachel: Right. Was it the, "Please dont show me another picture of a trilobite vibe?"
Phoebe: Monica- Hi! Um, Monica, you're scaring me. I mean, you're like, you're like all chaotic and twirly. And not-not in a good way.
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year!
Phoebe: I dont accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I cant just be a way to kill time til you meet someone better! Yknow boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this (Motions that their friendship) is for life!
TERRY: Rachel, it's not that your friend is bad, it's that she's so bad, she makes me want to put my finger through my eye into my brain and swirl it around.
Monica: No-no, wait! Just let me finish, okay? This isnt something that we just, we just impulsively decided in-in Vegas, this is something we both really want. And it is going to happen.
Chandler: Yep! From now on its gonna be the four of you guys and me and the misses. The little woman. The wife. The old ball and chain.
Ross: Linda Clickclocken. (Pause) So what uh, what-what table are you at? (She shows him.) Oh, uh me too.
Ross: Okay! Okay! But if she doesnt call, it is definitely over! No, wait. Wait. Unless, eventually, I call her, yknow just to she whats going on, and, and she says shell call me back, but then she doesnt. Then its over.
ROSS: [Rachel, laughing, puts a hand on the guy's shoulder] Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. [walks up in the middle of their conversation] Excuse me, are you Rachel?
Ross: Anyway, she thought the very idea of me playing rugby with him was like hilarious. So Im gonna show her how tough I really am!
Joey: Yes! Yes!! And every time you look at it, I want you to remember that you are a good person. Okay, youve had the chance to cheat, and with me, but you didnt. And thats what this ring stands for.
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (Joey puts him down.) What are you gonna do to me if you get the part?
Ross: Look. Look, my mom gave me that ring because she wanted me to propose to Rachel, but all I wanted to do is if she maybe kinda wanted ah start things up again.
Phoebe: Hey listen let me ask you, do you believe in soul mates?
Rachel: Okay, all right, give me the mug! Ill keep the mug.
Monica: Okay, Im sorry. I think I can walk the rest of the way now. Just-just give me my boots.
Monica: No, but I will leave a sweater that smells like me right next to you!
Joey: Hey! I did it. I called my producer. I told him I had a family emergency, he totally bought it. Thanks for teaching me how to lie Pheebs.
Rachel: God, Im not lame, okay. I can do something. I can throw, would you let me throw, come on this is my game too.
Joey: Now YOU'RE telling me I can't see her?? You guys are killing me! She's forbidden fruit! It's like ... like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy ... Why are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there?
The Dry Cleaner: (picking up a TV Guide) Show me in the table.
Tim: Oh, Im so glad you called. I feel like its always me calling you. So, whats up? Is everything okay with Phoebe?
Zack: I'm gonna take off now. You're gonna let me go home, aren't you?
Joey: Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
Sebastian: Actually, I uh, I gotta get going. (To Rachel) Give me a call sometime.
Agency guy: I'll go check your file. Excuse me.
Rachel: Ah, first, I-I would like to say thank you for agreeing to see me again.
Amy: I'm fine! And, I got you a present for letting me stay with you. Ready?
Chandler: Listen, in the middle of everything if I scream the word, "Yippee!" just ignore me.
Joey: Oh, hey let me. (Opens the door for Janine and after he closes the door behind her gasps ecstatically.)
JOEY: Hey, there's me! April 17th. Excessive noise. Italian guy comes homes with a date. Hey Chandler, look, you're in here too.
Eric: Yknow you dont have to stand here with me, believe me
Ross: Yeah, tell me about it. (He stands up, turns his back to Joey, and enjoys another sip.)
Chandler: It's, all good! Okay bye-bye Mon! (To Ross) She's-she's gonna kill me.
Monica: (to the restuarant customers) Excuse me, excuse me, hi, I'm Monica Geller..I'm the head chef here.. (pauses as if waiting for something).. Ok, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever! Ok, quick question: by a show of hands, how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside? (a few people raise their hands)
Joey: Come on, quite yankin' me.
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Aunt Iris: No! That's bluffing. Lesson number one. (walks into kitchen) Let me tell you something... everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap. (to Phoebe): Nice earrings.
Wendy: Okay, let me ask you something: if what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me?
Phoebe: Yeah, well, dont Aww Pheebs, that sucks! me yet. (she starts to leave)
The Salesman: Actually, Im not buying. Im selling. Let me ask you one question. Do your friends ever have a conversation and you just nod along even though youre not really sure what theyre talking about?
Joey: Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... (pause) no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!?
Joey: So let me get this straight. If you go with Bonnie tonight, youre doing the smart, healthy thing and moving on.
Joey: What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror!
RACHEL: I don't know.� He was cute, and he liked me.� It was an impulse.
Joey: Look, I understand if you came by to hit me, I deserve it.
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
Rachel: Well, Im gonna take a nap, turkey makes me sleepy.
Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (turning to Chandler) Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now?
MONICA: [entering] All right. Tell me if this is too cute. Lesbian wedding, chicken breasts.
Ross: I know! It's like, if you knew, why didn't you tell me, you know? I mean, call, or leave a note: "Hi, I just dropped by to say your wife's gay"
Joey: Really? Oh uh, oh just give me five more minutes with it.
Joey: Pickle? Pickles make her sick. Giving her pickles is like giving me salad.
Monica: Are you trying to tell me that were moving to Oklahoma, or that youre gay? All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise?
Monica: Hey Tim? I need a calamari and a Caesar salad. And umm, could you get me the pesto?
The Director: Hey, lovely! Come, talk to me a minute! (she goes over to him)
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, uh can you do me a favor? I forgot the pin number to my ATM card can, can you get it for me?
Chandler: No! No! I dont want him to know were yet! Im not sure Im ready for that. And besides hes not gonna be too happy to see me either.
Rachel: (to Chandler) O-o-o-okay, how did it go? Tell me everything.
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
Monica: And say what? "You owe me a goodbye", I mean, he's got more pride than that.
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
Ross: Okay, it was just me and her at the back of the train, and I sat near the door, so shed have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy.
Rachel: Ugh, it was horrible! And-and the interview part went so well, y'know? I even made him laugh. He said something about a boat and I was like, "Well, yeah! If you've got enough life jackets!" (She starts laughing; Chandler and Joey are not amused.) Trust me, it was actually, it was very funny. Anyway, so we were saying good-bye and ugh!
Monica: Makes me wanna puke! (Chandler looks at her, quizzically.)
CHANDLER: Well what's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore, are they? You took your eggs and you left. You really expect me to never find new eggs?
CHANDLER: Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him?� (Monica tips her head slightly as if asking "Did you hear yourself?")� I heard it.
Rachel: What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?" I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions.