words in movies
Joey: Youre gonna mess it up let me do it.
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Give me it!
Chandler: Well, you could also give back the money you owe me.
Monica: Ross let me ask you a question. All jokes aside, where is this relationship going?
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
Chandler: Will you marry me? Will you marry me? (Makes like a gun with his fingers.) Hey, you marry me! (He gives up as Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, and Ross slink in all excited.) Whats going on little elves?
Phoebe: I got me some drinks!
Chandler: (not knowing the true meaning of her exclamation) I know, but just let me say it.
Monica: YeahOh thats right. You, you always wanted me too. Hey, I see you got your mustache back.
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey! You cant leave Joey! You agreed to buy that boat, all right?! That is a contract! And plus if you leave, my boss is gonna kill me!
Ross: Yknow, maybe she is too young for me. Yknow, when I was over there and she was running around with her friends, I felt like I was a baby-sitter. I finally started to see what you guys were talking about. I dont know what to do.
Phoebe: Its a trip for two! (She gets up and takes off her blouse-type thingy shes wearing over her dress.) Excuse me. (She walks over to table four.) Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
Emil Alexander: That was me.
Joey: Uhh, excuse me is there a Mr. Bowmont at this table?
Mr. Bowmont: Thats me.
Mr. Bowmont: I was actually relieved uh I didnt win the boat. My wife wouldve killed me.
Joey: Are you kidding me?! Shes gonna this boat!
Rachel: Okay look, let me paint you a little picture. (She sits down next to him.) All right, you are settin sail up the Hudson! Youve got the wind in your h(sees that hes bald)arms! You-you get all that peace and quiet that youve always wanted! You get back to nature! You can go fishin! You canooh, you can get one of those little hats and have people call you captain, and then when youre old, Cappy.
Phoebe: Ohh, let me see it! Let me see your hand! (Chandler is frantically trying to wave them off.)
Rachel: (entering) Hey! (Sees Monica, gasps, and runs over to her.) Oh my God youre here, let me see your hand!!
Ross: (in his head) Wow! I have never had such a healthy break-up! She was such a grown-up about it! She didnt seem too immature for me! Did I just make a huge mistake?
Chandler: Yeah, well Yknow, it just got me thinking though, why would anybody ever want to get married huh?
Monica: Oh, good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that?
Monica: Ohhh! What are you doing to me?! Oh look, I-I Im sorry but umm, this-this-this-this is not going to happen.
Richard: Okay thats fine, Ill walk away. And Ill never bother you again, but only if you tell me Chandlers willing to give you everything I am.
Phoebe: Me too! So happy for them!
Rachel: Yeah me too.
Monica: Wait a minute. Are you honestly telling me that-that you may never want to get married?
Rachel: Yeah, Im pretty confident about that. Thats what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
Phoebe: Yep, we shook on it. Yeah but believe me that is not how he wanted to seal the deal.
Monica: (starts for the door) Well theres some people who do want to marry me.
Monica: You just told me that he hates marriage! That-that hes a-a complex fellow whos unlikely to take a wife! That-that hes against marriage and always will be!
Ross: Right. Ohh! You-you want me to be your backup.
Ross: Thats impossible! I mean we have had a deal for years! We-we-we shook on it, although believe me she wanted to do a lot more than that.
Chandler: Well what Yknow what Im gonna do? Im gonna go over there; Im gonna kick his ass! (Pause) Will you help me?!
Joey: Let me know about that coconut phone, it might great for the boat.
Richard: So Monica let me ask you a question. Yknow, since we broke up do you ever, think about me?
Richard: Yeah hes no good. Do you ever (pause) think about me in a (pause) non-eye doctor way?
Ross: Phoebe, how could you do this to me?!
Joey: Pick me!!
Ross: No! Pick me! I dont want to end up an old maid!
Richard: Excuse me?
Monica: Yknow, lets face it, Im not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I dont want that!
Monica: Fair? Please dont even talk to me about fair! Fair wouldve been you wanting to marry me back then! Or fair wouldve been Chandler wanting to marry me now! Believe me, nothing about this is fair! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
Richard: No I dont have a ring! (Pause) You go get her Chandler. (Pause) And can I give you a piece of advice? If you do get her, dont let her go. Trust me.
Joey: I-I did! I told her everything, Chandler! But she wouldnt believe me.
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Monica: Hey Tim? I need a calamari and a Caesar salad. And umm, could you get me the pesto?
The Director: Hey, lovely! Come, talk to me a minute! (she goes over to him)
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, uh can you do me a favor? I forgot the pin number to my ATM card can, can you get it for me?
Chandler: No! No! I dont want him to know were yet! Im not sure Im ready for that. And besides hes not gonna be too happy to see me either.
Rachel: (to Chandler) O-o-o-okay, how did it go? Tell me everything.
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
Monica: And say what? "You owe me a goodbye", I mean, he's got more pride than that.
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
Ross: Okay, it was just me and her at the back of the train, and I sat near the door, so shed have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy.
Rachel: Ugh, it was horrible! And-and the interview part went so well, y'know? I even made him laugh. He said something about a boat and I was like, "Well, yeah! If you've got enough life jackets!" (She starts laughing; Chandler and Joey are not amused.) Trust me, it was actually, it was very funny. Anyway, so we were saying good-bye and ugh!
Monica: Makes me wanna puke! (Chandler looks at her, quizzically.)
CHANDLER: Well what's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore, are they? You took your eggs and you left. You really expect me to never find new eggs?
CHANDLER: Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him?� (Monica tips her head slightly as if asking "Did you hear yourself?")� I heard it.
Rachel: What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?" I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions.
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
Rachel: But my... but my boss cannot see me. I'm interviewing for another job.
Phoebe: No! Wait! I was just saying that so youd think I was a good person. Fight for me.
Phoebe: Well, Ill tell you Rachel Karen Green, I had plans with Joey tonight and he left me this note. (Hands it to Rachel.)
Allesandro: Why? So you could hang up on me?
Joey: Well, you shouldve told me that before, Im not a mind reader. Hey, were out of beer. Im going to Monicas.
Rachel: Oh, well drop and give me ten more!
Rachel: Me too. Oh, I'm just sorry I'm not gonna be around to watch you two attempt to handle this! Alright, I can't say goodbye to you guys again. I love you all so much.
Monica: Yeah, they were just slowing me down. Alright, I have to get back to the babies. I'll see you girls later.
Ross: Come on guys, I-I really want this guy to like me. It-it would really help me out if you guys were here to make me look good.
Joey: Ah, just cut me a little sliver. (Monica prepares to cut a little sliver.) A little bigger. (Monica prepares to cut a bigger piece.) Little bigger. (Monica moves the knife again.) What?! Are you afraid youre gonna run out?! Cut me a real piece!
Ross: You don't have to do that, I'll pay for myself. But just the fact that you want me to have fun with you guys - that's so sweet! Come here (they kiss and hug)
Ross: OK, turn around. (Joey looks taken aback) I just don't want you staring at me when I'm doing this.
Phoebe: Because it was fate that made me call you today!
Gene: Hey! I got a kid starting college. I've to get surgery on my knee, you just lost me ten grand!
CHANDLER: Hear me out woman.� I'll go down the fire escape.� Then, I'll wait for a while.� Then, when I come up the stairs, it'll be just like I just got back from Tulsa.� Then, Joey and I will come in and see that there's no guy in here.
Chandler: (browsing through a diary) Well, let me see... I-I believe I'm... yes, falling asleep in front of the TV.
Ross: And then she told me that she and Joey had broken up, and that part of the reason was that she had feelings for me.
Ross: Yeah, well, this guy at work gave me "Sex for Dummies" as a joke.
JOEY: Hey, this is a little extra somethin' for uh, ya know, always bein' there for me. [hands Chandler a jewelry box]
Rachel: Did you get all this stuff for Joey to try and drive me out of the apartment? Honey, if you wanted to do that, you might as well just gotten him a fish, you know how fish freaked me out!
Phoebe: (hides her mouth behind the cup and speaks in the "pigeon voice" from before) Coo, again. Don't blame the pretty lady. It was not her fault. It was me, the pigeon, coo! (pause) Seriously, stop staring at her.
JOEY: My animals. Hey the guy said they suited me, he spoke with an accent, I was all confused. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
MONICA: I can't believe you married Duncan. I mean how could you not tell me? We lived together, we told each other everything.
Monica: What is the matter with you?!! Why arent you more upset?! Arent you gonna be sad that were not gonna be living together anymore?! I mean arent you gonna miss me at all?!
Ross: Well, and how about this? There is an anthropologist at school who totally came on to me during the inter-departmentalPotluck dinner.
Ross: You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here and you guys... are just having dinner or... watching TV or something, but... it makes me feel better. And now when I look over, who am I gonna see? The Gottliebs, the Yangs? They don't make me feel so good. (Joey pats Ross on his back)
Rachel: Ross!! Are you crazy?! I am still your wife!! What, were you just never gonna tell me?!! What the hell is wrong with you?!!!! Ugh, I could just kill you!!!!
Chandler: No-no-no, yknow what? I really shouldnt have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasnt cool. And if it makes you feel any better, Ive had a really lousy day.
Phoebe Sr: Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. I just-I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Yknow
Phoebe: (in a French accent) Uh, excuse me. Uh, I am Reginé Philange. I was passing by when I heard this man speaking the regional dialect of my French town of Estée Lauder.
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Joey: (to the fan) So, you saw me on Days Of Our Lives huh? Want me to, want me to do a little Dr. Drake Remoray for ya?
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
Janice: A little birdie told me something about you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me.
Joey: (To Rachel) Okay, let me just get changed and we can go to dinner.
Amanda: (To Phoebe) Smell my neck! (Phoebe does so) It's not perfume! It's me! It's my natural scent!
Phoebe: (Grabs the pictures) Oh! Here we all are! Yeah, there's Ross and Joey and you and me. (She picks up a magic marker and draws herself in. Monica can't watch.)
CHANDLER: Well, doesn't the fact that I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about our friendship and how much it means to me?
Monica: Well sure! I'm just wearing sweats! (Looking at Chandler and slowly realizing what his point is.) But that's good that you're not in love with me, because you just want a girlfriend!
Chandler: And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. (She glares at him.) Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet.
Chandler: (motioning with his hands) Im not worried, Im uh, Im fascinated. Yknow its like uh, Biology! Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me. (Exits as Phoebe enters from her room with her guitar.)
Chandler: When it comes down to it, you would risk your life for Ross before you would for me. That's the bottom line.
The Librarian: Well, yes! Just give me five minutes, I just have to find someone to cover my shift.
Minister: Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. May the happiness we share with them today be with them always. Now Emily, repeat after me. I, Emily...
Chandler: You tell me! Maybe, its because I was just fooling with my ex! Oh no-no-no-no, no-no-no-no, that was you!!
Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps)
MONICA: I can't believe you thought I was cheating.� (pointing at Joey) You own me an apology.
Chandler: Yeah, you got me. (picks up a 2x4 and puts it through the handles so that the doors wont open) Im out five big ones! (puts the money in the crack between the door and frame) Here you go.
Chandler: No, no I only dated two girls in college, both blonde, both not attractive (Thinks a little while.) Hold on one second; let me check this out. (He gets up and grabs a photo album.
Chandler: It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldnt give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird!
Monica: As a joke, this customer at work who has a crush on me gave me a $20,000 tip. His number is on the check, he just did so Id call him.
Monica: Naaaa... He still kills me. Last night he had me laughing so hard, I swear... a little pee came out.
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Bitter lady: (yelling) Why don't you like me?! Chapter One: My first period.
Chandler: Well, its not your fault. What are you gonna do? Not take her to the hospital? Yknow? Youre doing nothing wrong. (Pause) Except for harboring an all consuming love for the woman whose carrying his baby. (He loses his card behind the door.) Richard? If-if youre in there, could you pass me my credit card?
Monica: Nobody cares about the Dakotas. (Thats true in so many ways, trust me, Ive lived in one and been to the other.)
Phoebe: If you wouldve let me finish, it goes on to say that hes probably not gay.
Joey: (on phone) Uh huh.. uh huh... oh my God! Okay! Okay, I'll be there! (He hangs up and to all.) That was my agent. (He tosses and catches the phone.) My agent has just gotten me a job...in the new Al Pacino movie!
Mrs. Bing: Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold a hundred million copies of my books, and y'know why?
Emily: Ross, take me off speakerphone.
MRS. GREENE: Alright, Monica dear, I'm gonna hit the road. Now I've left my 10 verbs on the table. And you be sure and send me that finished poem.
Ross: That does not sound stupid to me. You know, it's like the first time I had to make dinner for myself, after Carol left me? (the buzzer on the washer goes off) I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross...(opens up the washer) Uh-oh.
Monica: Besides, if anybody's gonna get free stuff, it's gonna be me.
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Oh, come on, miss, isn't there any way that you can just let me off...
Ross: At least I know she's not going out with me to get into R rated movies.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Phoebe: No-no, thats not, thats not me Phoebe, thats her pal Phoebe. According to her high school yearbook, they were like B.F.F. (Ross and Bonnie look at her quizzically) Best Friends Forever.
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Phoebe: Yeah, I should go to, `cause I'm playing in one hour. Hey, (clears her voice and in her normal voice) you guys should come hear me, ooh hear me. Ooh, (tries to sing) My sticky shoes--eww! Eww! I lost my sexy phlegm!
Ross: (Back to Emma) Hi! (Looks at her) What... (Moves the stroller away from him so he can get a better look at her. He looks at her confused. Finally he realizes the difference and gasps). Please tell me those are clip-ons.
Joey: Hey! Dont you hang up on me! Ill marry you and me right now! I have the power!
JOEY: You guys are messin' with me, right?
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
Gunther: Dont wink at me. And put on your apron.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Monica: Me too! Yeah, Chandler cant stand it. He wont even allow me to have blue cheese in the house.
Joey: (approaches, wearing his glasses) Hey you guys, check it out. Check it out. (Moves his hand towards and away from his face.) It's like it's coming right at me. (Chandler helps out a little bit by pushing on Joey's arm, which causes his hand to slap him in his face.)
Erica: Thanks so much for taking me to all those places. I had a great time.
Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
Chandler: (horrified) Wait! You look? You-you massaged me.
Phoebe: Mike, let me ask you something. How many sisters does Joey have?
Gavin: Do you have fever? Let me see. Hum...
Chandler: Ooh, not so tight... (blows raspberry, and the hug ends) I'm sorry, just give me one more chance.
Rachel: Well, he makes t-shirts for a living, and he thought it would be appropriate to give me this.