words in movies
Monica: Myself. Yknow for remembering to pack a thing. Yeah, you do a good thing, you get a check! (pause) My mom does it, I never realized it was weird.
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom used to put her head in the oven. Well, actually, she only did it the one time. But it was pretty weird.
Ross: (Ross hugs his mom and dad)Hi. Mom. Dad.
Monica: Ohh, Please?! Im a single mom, with a thirty year old son!!
Joey: Look Mon, if you could just call my mom
Phoebe: So... now... What about with Mike's mom?
Rachel: Oh, with the mother, just... just constantly tell her how amazing her son is. Take it from me, moms love me. Ross's mom one time actually said I'm like the daughter that she never had.
RACHEL: Listen honey, can you keep dad occupied, I'm gonna go talk to mom for a while.
Monica: Were gonna pick up the wedding dress then were gonna have lunch with mom. (Joey stands up.)
Ross: Ah. Joey youre-youre having lunch with my mom?
Mike: Wow! You look like... like my mom.
Monica: Dad [kisses Jack], Mom [kisses Judy]. Look! Look who it is its Chandler!
Chandler: Mom. Thanks for wearing something. (They hug.) (Shes wearing a tight dress with a lot of cleavage showing.)
Mike: But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right? Look, why don't you go talk to my mom?
Phoebe: Yeah okay... yeah, your mom... okay... She looks nice, I can talk to her.
Joey: Sure. What? About uh, you showering with your mom?
Phoebe: I'll find Bob, I'll get him. Bob? (starts looking) Bob! Robert! (looks at cabinet under sink) Oh wait, I think I hear him. Oh - Oh my god! Bob had babies! Bob's a mom!
PHOEBE: Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.
Phoebe: Yeah, but if I do tell him, then hes gonna hate myself. I mean look at him and his Mom, I cant. (pause) But, you guys can, please you gotta talk him out of it.
Monica: I cant believe mom and dad are selling the house!
Joey: Yeah, with my mom. Yeah, not so much with my dad.
Rachel: No, we decided that I would go ahead and set up first, and then my mom would bring Emma to Paris on Sunday.
Rachel: (checking the speed dial) All right, first name on the speed dial is mom.
Chandler: Because it's complicated, it's complex- Hey, you kissed my mom!
Ross: Hi! (Kisses his mom.) Hey mom.
Ross: Oh, no, Mom, its just Monica this year.
Rachel: What?! My moms not gonna be here?!
Monica: Okay thats it. I give up. At mom and dads 40th anniversary, youre the one giving the speech.
Rachel: Please, make sure she comes. Its really important to me, I mean its my mom!
Rachel: Oh we did, but my mom got us the greatest gift of all.
Rachel: Mom thats okay that you didnt get you a gift!
Rachel: Oh yeah. Okay, see mom, the truth is I can do this on my own.
Ross: Mom no, come on! Thank you.
Rachel: But mom, I really know what Im doing. I can handle this.
Mary Ellen Wait, is your mom okay?
Ross: Hey, wheres uh, wheres mom?
Phoebe: Well, Im returning a call from a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H. I just spelled the wrong word. (goes into Monicas room)
MONICA: Ok, let me go check. Your mom want's to say goodbye.
MIKE: No.� Just his mom.
Phoebe: Well, umm, my Moms friend, Phoebe, is actually my birth Mom.
Gavin: Mom, I'll call you later. Yeah. (hangs up) (to Rachel) Yes?
Ross: (To Monica) Youre drunk! Mom and dad are gonna be maaaaadd! Maybe Im a little drunk.
[Scene: A Mexican Restaurant, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler and his mom are there.]
Monica: Mom�s here? I wanted to have lunch with her today, she told me she was out of town.
Phoebe: Oh. Okay, well I-I was kinda hoping that I would just be alone yknow to think about my mom and her suicide.
Joey: Yeah, that's because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike hit my mom with a car.
Rachel: Anybody! You, me, you know, Monica's mom...
Monica: Daddy! I dont think we need to hear about the specific positions you and mom had sex.
Ursula: No, I umm, I read about her in Moms suicide note.
Monica: Y'know, all these years, I thought you were on my side. But maybe what you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better!
Mike's mom: Michael!
ROSS: Mom, there are so many people in my life. Some of them are seeing people and some of them aren't. Is that crystal?
Fat Monica: Call them mom and dad you loser!
Phoebe: Well, Im not sure. I mean, I guess until she y'know, gets used to the fact that theres y'know, a new mom. Y'know, I think shes worried that y'know, shes gonna, shes gonna be replaced. (to the cat, in a funny voice) Well, thats not gonna happen is it? Noo. (gets up) Okay, I have to return a call in the other room.
Monica: Frannie was the one who found your Playboys and showed them to mom.
Phoebe: No, I know, Im just nervous. Y'know its just y'know Moms dead, dont talk to my sister, Grandmas been sleeping a lot lately. Its like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. Youre so sweet to wait with me.
Phoebe: So great. Oh, we took a nap today and my Mom fell asleep on my tummy and purred.
Mike: Mom, dad, thanks for dinner.
Ross: Oh, mom. Mom. Chandler hates Thanksgiving and doesn't eat any Thanksgiving food.
Chandler: That would be no. Look, just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom doesn't mean you know her. Alright? Trust me, you can't talk to her.
Leslie: Well. Your mom didn't tell us about the blobbies.
Phoebe: I know! I guess I am! Oh my god! Load up the Volvo I want to be a soccer mom!
Chandler: Yeah, Jell-o just like Mom used to make.
Monica: All right thats it, I give up! Whatever you want you can have it! You wanna sing a song? You wanna do a dance? You want your mom stand at the Alter and scream racial slurs? I dont care!
Ross: (thinks about it for a few seconds) What did you do to my mom?
Mike: Hey! You made it. Great! Chappy! Hi! (kisses his dad) Hi! (kisses his mom) Mom, I know getting married in the street isn't something you approve of...
Ross: Look. Look, my mom gave me that ring because she wanted me to propose to Rachel, but all I wanted to do is if she maybe kinda wanted ah start things up again.
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
PHOEBE: Um, I'm getting a lily for my Mom. 'Cause her name's Lily.
Monica: My God, I cant believe this! I mean I knew that mom and dad were invited, but I thought that was it! I mean from the ages 7 to 9 Frannie and I were inseparable!
PHOEBE: OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. [singing] Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
RACHEL: This is it, isn't it? I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like. My mom there, my dad there. Thanksgiving, Christmas. She gets the house, he's in some condo my sister's gonna decorate with wicker. Oh, Chandler how did you get through this?
PHOEBE: I like this lily. It's more open, ya know, and that's like my mom. She had a more open, giving spirit. Ooh, Foghorn Leghorn, ooh.
Monica: Oh umm, how about your mom dying, or having to live on the streets when you were 14?
Phoebe: Ooh, I cant do this. My mom was right. If I cant-if I cant give him up, then theres no way I can give up a baby. Ohh, God, Frank and Alice are gonna be so crushed. What-what else, what else can I give ema kidney!
Joey: I told you not to move it! Rach, how would you feel if say, I wanted to move you mom, and you said dont, and I did it anyway and her head fell off?
Ross: (in a 5 year olds tone) (To Monica) You are such a tattletale! Mom, Dad, you remember that-that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
Monica: Okay. Im gonna be the mom that makes the worlds best chocolate chip cookies.
Phoebe: Okay, well umm, I know that we havent talked in a long time, but umm okay, our Mom is not our birth Mom. This-this other lady is our birth Mom.
Frank: That was Alice's mom, she said she left five hours ago. She should be here by now!
Joey: You don't kiss your friend's mom! Sisters are okay, maybe a hot-lookin' aunt... but not a mom, never a mom!
Phoebe: Wow, eight hour flight with a one-year old? Good luck, mom.
[Cut to Chandler sitting down near Joey as his mom walks over. His birth mother, not the mother who recently visited one of those clinics in Sweden.]
Chandler: Pff, easy for you to say, he's a father killer. He probably loves him mommy. He's probably got a tattoo that says "mom" on his shovel-wielding arm!
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Monica: When Mom and Dad drove you to the hospital to get your nose fixed, I swam into the lake and fished it out.
Ross: (entering) Hey! So, uhh, Amanda just-just dropped me off. Yeah, that's one of the things I love about her, she's...uh, she's old enough to drive. (to Monica) So uhh, I guess you're not going to mom and dad's tonight?
Monica: Oh, I know, I never wear fake ones. I just did it so my Mom wouldnt give me grief about me biting them.
Phoebe: No, no, no. It's not! It's not my mom. It belonged to mom. Yeah, no, she used to put it out every Christmas to remind us, that even though it's Christmas, people still die. And, you can put candy in it. (She grabs the skull, pulls out a stick of licorice, and takes a bite.)
Phoebe: Hm, I mean maybe no-one ever really goes. Ever since my mom died, every now and then, I get the feeling that she's like right here, y'know? (She circles her hand around her right shoulder. Chandler, sitting on her right, draws back nervously) Oh! And Debbie, my best friend from junior high- got struck by lightning on a miniature golf course- I always get this really strong Debbie vibe whenever I use one of those little yellow pencils, y'know? ...I miss her.
Ross: Oh mom! Okay, umm, her name is Carol. And she's really pretty. And smart. And uh, she's-she's on the lacrosse team and the golf team. Can you believe it? She plays for both teams!
I made a man with eyes of coal And a smile so bewitchin', How was I supposed to know That my mom was dead in the kitchen? (shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...
Joey: (on phone) Mom, so what did you think? (He walks away allowing the gang a chance to figure out what theyre gonna say.)
Monica: (into phone) Pants and a sweater? Why, mom? Who am I gonna meet in a blackout? Power company guys? Eligible looters? Could we talk about this later? OK. (hangs up)
Rachel: ...the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much youve grown. Y'know? I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater. Ooh, I just wish we hadnt lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
Dr. Long: Ten centimeters, youre about to become a mom.
Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
Phoebe: My mom never gave birth. Oh! But my birth mom did.
ROSS: Oh OK. Well then why don't you, uhh, why don't you borrow it from mom and dad? You feel guilty and tense around them already. You might as well make some money off of them.
RACHEL: It's just this thing. Every year we would go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks. Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side and my dad would be upset becasue nobody was helping and then when we did help he would scream at us for doing it wrong. But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up, you know, and it'd get really cold, and we would all just sort of smush under this one blanket. It never occured to anybody to bring another one. And now it's just...
(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment, but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]