words in movies
[Cut back to Monica and Rachel's apartment, Rachel is singing along with a song and dancing while facing the big picture window. Y'know, I think I'd pay real good money to be on the other side of that window!]
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas, the Strip, slot machines, a couple other gaming tables all set to the tune of you guessed it, Money. Anyhoo, we finally get through that and watch Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe enter Caesar's Palace carrying their luggage.]
Joey: Well, the movie got shutdown because they ran out of money, so I'm working here 'til it starts up again, if it ever does.
Joey: Wait a minute! Why don't I do what that guy did? I'll take this $100 and turn it into $5,000! And then I'll turn that into enough money to get my movie going again!
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Joey is approaching one of the blackjack tables on his quest to make enough money for his movie.]
Joey: Hit me! (He does so.) Ohh man! (Joey busts and loses all the money, but when the dealer starts to collect the cards Joey notices something.) Wait! (He holds his hand next to the dealer's hand.)
Joey: Look, I don't have it all worked out yet, but it's gotta mean big money! Come on! Identical hands!
Ross: What?! That's not gonna make you any money!
The Lurker: (to the guard) Excuse me, sir! This lady played my quarter, this is my money. (Motions to the jackpot.)
Joey: No-no, I don't really have any money. Not yet, anyway (Shakes his hands.)
Joey: (throws down a small wad of money, and as his hand twin starts to unfold it, Joey once again brings attention to their special gift to the world. {Y'know, looking at it now, they really don't have that similar of hands. Joey's are bigger.}) Ooh-ho-ho! (The dealer stares at him and he stops.)
Joey: Wouldn't you pay good money to see these identical hands showcased in some type of a uh, entertainment venue?
Chandler: (on phone) Hey Mr. Kostelic! How's life on the fifteenth floor? (Listens) Yeah, I miss you too. (Listens) Yeah, it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home, you know? (Listens) Well, that's very generous (Listens) er, but look, this isn't about the money. I need something that's more than a job. I need something I can really care about.... (Listens) And that's on top of the yearly bonus structure you mentioned earlier? (Listens) Look, Al, Al... I'm not playing hardball here, OK? This is not a negotiation, this is a rejection! (Listens) No! No! No, stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! (Listens) I'll see you on Monday! (slams the phone down)
Monica: Ok worse case scenario is...we borrow some money from my parents.
Ross: Hey, yknow if you want to pick up some extra cash? Some friends of mine made good money doing telemarketing.
Joey: (in his head) 2,000 bucks is a lot of money. Oh, I wish I had a twin. Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me? (The camera widens its shot to reveal a room full of Joey look-a-likes. Joey looks at the guy next to him and then back at his script.)
Chandler: Give him money? It was a joke!
Monica: I cant! I spent so much money on them and I told Chandler that Id wear them all the time, I just cant give them away!
Chandler: No, I realize that honey, but Im not gonna spend all of the money on one party.
Joey: Ah yeahwait a second now! Look were gonna have to set a spending limit on the date. I dont have the money to take her to a fancy place like that.
Lizzie: What? (She opens the envelope Phoebe has given her.) Oh my God, there's really money in here.
Chandler: Hey, I may have no money, but I still have my pride.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, and a little seed money for the party. (Holds up $40.)
Caitlin: (wanting more than anything to get the money and leave this horrible, horrible place) Yeah.
Joey: Aww, I don't know Monica y'know... erm... lending friends money is always a mistake.
Monica: I mean think about all the money that youre gonna make!
Phoebe: Speaking of Christmas, umm since Monica and I are starting a new business and have like no money, umm, this year maybe we could do secret Santa, and then we each only buy one gift. And-and theres the added mystery of who gets who.
CHANDLER: I don't know what to say. I'm sorry that we make more money than you. But we're not gonna feel guilty about it. We work really hard for it.
Joey: All right relax, look I'll pay you with the money from the acting job I am definitely gonna get thanks to you.
Chandler: You dont owe me anything, I dont want you money
Phoebe: Now if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
Rachel: (makes some unintelligible sound to stop her from leaving) Obviously you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on. Okay? So $800 and I don't call the cops because you're robbing me blind! Blind! (Covers her eyes) Just take cat, leave the money, and run away! Run away! (Uncovers her eyes and sees that the woman has fled) Damnit! (To the cat) Cat, can't you at least smile or something?! (The cat hisses at her again, it sounds like Rachel) Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody?
Phoebe: Well then get your money back and return them!
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler is trying to get Joeys money back from Ross.]
Ross: What?! While shes been going through this hell, youve been making money?! Youre betting on your friend staying in this misery?! (Phoebe lowers her head and shakes it yes.)
Chandler: Had the money in the wrong hand. (Shows her his left hand with the money in it)
Rachel: Well, Im miserable here! I might as well make some money out it!
Chandler: Listen, if you want to borrow money, its kind of a bad time. Im buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
Ross: Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. Im just gonna put this (The money) back in my pocket, pretend that didnt happen. Uh yeah, actually Im free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or
RACHEL: Do you guys ever get the feeling that um, Chandler and those guys just don't get that we don't make as much money as they do?
Rachel: Yeah me too. oh! I have an idea. Why don't we all pitch in 50 bucks, we'll pool our money together and then if we win, we'll split it!
Rachel: Ooh! My Chinese food! Let me get my cash! (runs to her room to get her money)
Ross: Phoebe! I can't believe you gave them money! I thought you agreed it was totally unreasonable that they asked me for that money!
Monica: All right. Now do it soon, he just asked me how to convert his dollars into Vermont money.
Chandler: Yes, money well spent!
Rachel: Give her some money.
Phoebe: Oh, it ate your money?
Rachel: Mon you definitely have to make it a theme wedding, and the theme could be, Look how much money weve got! Y'know, I mean you could put, you could put money in-in the invitations! You-you could have like little money place settings. And ah, you could start with a money salad! I mean itll be dry, but people will like it.
Chandler: I invented the game of Cups as a way to give Joey money.
Chandler: I could use the money; it could give me time to write.
PHOEBE: It's not even that. I used to do my songs because it made me happy, but now it's like, it's just all about the money.
Ross: Okay, (gets the money) so, do you make the pizzas in one of those uh, wood-burning ovens?
Monica: What do you do with your money now?
JOEY: Yeah, you missed, 'Takes money to make money,' and uh, 'Don't make me come down there and kick your wall street butt.'
Ross: What? You - you're making money off my misery?
Ross: Well isnt there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, cant-cant you pick up, I dont know, an extra shift here?
Phoebe: But then we ditch those two and thats when we get married. Well have Chandlers money and Rachels kids and getting custody will be easy because of Rachels drinking problem.
Chandler: You can wear them with shorts on a street corner and earn the money to pay for them. (Goes and gets some coffee at the counter.)
Monica: Joey, Chandler knows I borrowed the money.
Phoebe: No, what's more important, your friends or money?
Ross: C'mon, you get the idea, ow-ow-ow we'll make our money back in no time!
Monica: Money! (they all look at her) Friends...
Ross: Oh. (Reaches into his pocket for some money as Rachel enters the living room and watches holding two stuffed dinosaurs.)
Monica: All right. But umm, I-I-Ill pay you back all the money you invested, and you can keep the van.
Gunther: Okay, but the moneys good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
Monica: Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.
Chandler: You said that you paid all that money because those boots go with skirts, dresses, and pants!
Phoebe: Rachel? Patrick is really rich. (To Patrick) Give her some money.
(She hangs up the phone and starts to head back to the kitchen and notices some money lying out, stops, reaches down to pick it up, the phone rings causing her to drop it, she quickly puts it back, and heads for the kitchen.)
Joey: I mean, the jobs easy and the moneys good, you know? I guess Im going to be hanging out here anyway. I might as well get paid for it, right? I just feel kind of weird serving you guys.
Phoebe: Yeah. See, that money was for a big wedding, that we thought we didn’t want, but it turns out we do.
Mike: We’re seriously asking for our money back?
Mike: No, no, we're here to give the money back.
Joey: Hey, yknow what? Ill come too. Im making money now; its about time I give something back.
Chandler: They were just giving those away at the store (off Monicas look) in exchange for money.
Phoebe: Yknow, just some good faith money to hold the date.
Chandler: Well, there are other ways of winning back your money, how about a little uh, a little Blackjack? (Holds up a deck of cards.)
Charity guy: On behalf of the Children of New York, I reject your money.
Phoebe: Ok, this is not about the MONEY, ok? It's about... it's about corporate greed destroying our hearts and leaving us... the hollow shells.
Rachel: Ralph Lauren called again and they offered me more money.
Ross: That money is mine, Green!
Ross: There's no way around it Pheebs, you just gonna have to accept the fact that this is gonna cost you a lot of money.
Rachel: Okay, so lets play for some pepper! Stop spending my money!
Chandler: I dont know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. Shes saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.
Joey: Ooh, ooh, I know! We should pool all own money and buy the Knicks!
(She slips them some money.)
Joey: Okay, and ah, this one here is a Douglas Fir, now its a little more money, but you get a nicer smell.
Rachel: Honey, youre not gonna make enough money to help Frank and Alice just by selling knives.
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do. You know, I had nothing growing up. (thinks for a few seconds) Just like the kids I took the money from.
Chandler (Stands up and walks to Joey): Listen...this is really nice. Do you... (sees his chequebook) Did you write a cheque to Monica for two thousand dollars? Did Monica borrow money from you?
Monica: I know...God. I haven't seen my savings take a hit like this since I was a kid and they came up with double-stuffed Oreos. What happened to all our money?
Croupler: Coming in, we got a shooter! Money please.
Boy in the Cape: My friend Lewis told me you were giving out money.
Joey: Yeah, well, I still got a week left to go in the program, and according to the rules, if I want to get the money I'm not allowed to conduct any... ersonal experiments, if you know what I mean.
Chandler: You bet I did, Ben, put it there! (He shakes Ben's hand, but the money falls out of his hands) (to Monica) Well, it would have worked this time, if his hands weren't so damn small! (Realizes, that Ben is standing right there) Ho, ho, ho!
MONICA: Well, my financially challenged friends, I split my money and I bought some shares of CHP and ZXY.
Rachel: Its all gonna be okay. Theyre just so happy that Im not suing them that they gave me one extra month paid maternity leave. So long as I understand that the money should not construed as a down payment on this or any other child I should bear.
Chandler: Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, she's amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...she'd kick your ass. Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside. But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so nothing is ever gonna happen between us.
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
Phoebe: Or, yknow, I used to beg for money. Of course it helps if youve got yknow a little of this (she sticks her chest out and shakes it) goin on. Wow! I still have it!
Phoebe: Yeah! Now, how would you feel if we gave all the wedding money to charity and we just got married at City Hall?
Monica: It's easy! Just keep it casual! Give him a kind word, shake his hand and give him the money!
Phoebe: No, no, no, we’re not having a big reception, we took the money we were gonna spend on a wedding and we donate them to the children charity.
Alice: Umm, it costs $16,000 each time you do this. So, umm, were kinda using all the money we have to do it just this one time.
Rachel: Mmm-hmmm. Oh, so typical. Ooo, I'm a man. Ooo, I have a penis. Ooo, I have to win money to exert my power over women. (hands over her money)
ROSS: Emotional hell. So, did they lend you the money yet?
Joey: No! Forget it! OkayI mean thanks, but Im done taking money from you. All right, I can take of myself. Now, whats next? Come on.
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!! (She holds her hands up in triumph and the gang all look at her.) Sorry, I was just imagining what itd be like to catch the money bouquet.
JOEY: Ok, um, uh, we three feel like, that uh, sometimes you guys don't get that uh, we don't have as much money as you.
CHANDLER: OK that's not what he was doing. Alright, he was looking for his bus money.