words in movies
[Scene: Chandler's Office. Chandler is playing with a toy as his boss Mr. Douglas knocks and opens the door.]
Chandler: Mr. D, hows it going, sir?
Mr. Douglas: Ohh, its been better. The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in.
Mr. Douglas: Its pretty ugly. We havent seen an ANUS this bad since the seventies.
Mr. Douglas: Well, were gonna be layin off people in every department.
Mr. Douglas: Not you. Relax. Ever have to fire anyone?
(She rises, dragging Chandler along by the wool. Rachel has to leap over a chair to follow them. Monica opens the door to find Mr. Heckles standing there.)
Monica: Oh. Hi, Mr.Heckles.
Mr.Heckles: Youre doing it again.
Mr.Heckles: I can hear you through the ceiling. My cats cant sleep.
Mr.Heckles: I could have cats.
Monica: (Closing the door) Goodbye Mr.Heckles.
Mr. Douglas: Nina.
Nina: Mr.Douglas... (flirting defensively) ..cool tie.
(She escapes, fortunately so distracting Mr. Douglas, that he misses Chandlers expression of alarm & guilt.)
Mr. Douglas: (Shutting the door, then pointing vaguely at Ninas shapely departure) Shes still here.
Mr. Douglas: Youre kidding? She seems so...
Mr. Douglas: Thats unbelievable.
Mr. Douglas: I see. I guess you never really know whats goin on inside a persons head.
(Mr. Douglas screws up his eyes, trying to credit what Bing has just said, but turning to follow Nina down the corridor, he realises Bing must be telling the truth, since he would not have any personal interest in the girl, would he?)
(In the apartment below, Mr.Heckles is trying to relax and read his newspaper, but Rachel is helplessly dangling upside-down with her ankle wrapped up in the Christmas lights.)
Rachel: (To Monica) Im okay! Im okay! (She knocks on Mr. Heckles's window.) Mr. Heckles, Mr. Heckles could you help me please?
Mr.Heckles: See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about.
[Camera pans to the Geller family table. Ross, Rachel, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there.]
Chandler: (on phone) Hey Mr. Kostelic! How's life on the fifteenth floor? (Listens) Yeah, I miss you too. (Listens) Yeah, it's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home, you know? (Listens) Well, that's very generous (Listens) er, but look, this isn't about the money. I need something that's more than a job. I need something I can really care about.... (Listens) And that's on top of the yearly bonus structure you mentioned earlier? (Listens) Look, Al, Al... I'm not playing hardball here, OK? This is not a negotiation, this is a rejection! (Listens) No! No! No, stop saying numbers! I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! (Listens) I'll see you on Monday! (slams the phone down)
Mr. Zelner: Here let me (He goes to wipe it off himself.)
Ross: Hey, howd the date go with Mr. Millionaire?
Mr. Waltham: All right, Ill tell her. (To his wife) Come on bugger face!
ROSS: [pulls the cigarette off his upper lip and hands it to Mr. Greene] Yeah, yes it is, I was just moistening the tip.
Mr. Zelner: That's quite all right, but I feel obligated to tell you that this meeting is being videotaped.
Ross: and it was Ernst Muhlbrat who first hypothesized that the Velociraptor would expand its collar and emit a high pitched noise to frighten its predator. (A student raises his hand.) Yes Mr. Lewis?
Rachel: Well, hello, Mr. Rachel! (Throws some more rice.)
MR. GREENE: ...and you sand it and you varnish it...
Joey: Thank you. Cha-ching! (Chandler starts to leave) Oh, well hello Mr. Lincoln. Better luck next time buddy. (Chandler leaves and closes the door) And the drinks are on me!
Monica: Well, if you had kept listening, you-you would have heard me call him Mr. Big (Thinks) ot.
Mr. Geller: What? Dr. Wilson's an artist! He removed my mole cluster. Wanna see? (He starts to show her as the doorbell rings.)
Mr. Geller: Its older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
Mr. Waltham: Rachel, one of your customers seems to have left his billfold. A Joshua Bergen.
Chandler: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
Mr. Treeger:: Ahh, thanks but no. You see I-I think Im ready to dance with girls.
MR. HECKLES: Thank you. I'm going to rejoin my dinner party.
MR. BOYLE: All right, there was none. Let's talk signing. You be noisy girl number one, you be noisy girl number two.
MR. DOUGLAS: I have a family, I'm gonna be here.
[Monica jumps in the shower. Right after Mrs. Geller enters the bathroom, Mr. Geller peeks his head in.]
Mr. Geller: Monica, all this food looks wonderful, you should think about doing this for a living.
Mr. Geller: Hi!
Mr. Geller: My joke wasnt funny.
Mr. Geller: (angry) No.
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)
Phoebe: Rach, Rach, I just remembered. I had a dream about Mr. Geller last night.
Mr. Geller: Whats the matter with him?
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: What?!
Mr. Geller: What happened son?
Mr. Geller: And we kinda figured about the porch swing.
Rachel: Well, hello, Mr. Rachel! (Throws some more rice.)
[Cut to the roof, where Joey and Mr. Treeger are dancing happily to ^Night and Day^.]
MR. TREEGER: No can do, like I told the girl, I can't get a new knob until Thursday.
Mr. Geller: No, the man is a mess.
(inside Chandlers apartment, Chandler is coming in from his bedroom, sees Mr. Heckles, and screams.)
MR. GELLER: C'mon kid, let's go.
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's office. Monica is there.]
Monica: (on phone) Awww, y'know what your nickname is, Mr. Big
LITTLE BULLY: Us, what about you guys? Man you really, bing, gave it to old Mr. Clean back there. He was a big guy.
Phoebe: Sounds like somebody wants to be Mr. Pizza Delivery Girl.
Mr. Zelner: Come on in.
Jill: Oh, Mr. Scientist has to get all technical!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey and Sandy are sitting at the kitchen counter. Joey is holding mr. Wigglemunch, and Sandy holds the Grumpus.]
Mr. Oberblau: I'm just saying, I have a cabin in the Adirondacks if you ever want to get away from the city, well, that'd be (pause) just nifty!
Mr. Geller: Well, its time for a new family to start their memories here and hopefully their check will clear before they find the crack in the foundation and the asbestos in the ceiling.
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
Mr. Waltham: Excuse me, Im standing right here!
Mrs. Geller: (To Mr. Geller) This is worse than when he married the lesbian.
MR. GREENE: I have to be heading to my chateau, thank you.
Mr. Geller: Everyone thinks they know me. Everyone says 'Jack Geller, so predictable'. Maybe after I'm gone, they'll say 'Buried at sea! Huh!'.
MR. GELLER: When did I say that?
Paul: I usually prefer Elizabeths boyfriends to address me as Mr. Stevens.
Chandler: Theres a Mr. Bing!
Ross: Of course, of course, Mr. Stevens.
Rachel: (chasing after him) Oh, wait! Sorry, Mr. Paul? Mr. Paul?
Mr. Geller: I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?
MR. GELLER: C'mon, it's my birthday.
Mr. Waltham: You spend half your life in the bathroom, why dont you ever go out the bloody window!
Mr. Geller: I love you sweetheart. (He kisses her and they sit down.)
Ross: Well we-we dont know for sure. But in my head it-it sounded something like this. (He makes a high pitched noise and Alan doesnt know what to make of it.) Of course, this is just conjecture. Okay, thats uh, thats all for today. (Everyone starts to get up.) Uh Mr. Morse, can I see you for a moment?
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Mr. Thompson: Nice to see you Rachel.
(Rachels boss, Mr. Thompson walks up.)
Sarah: Really Mr. Geller, you dont have to do this.
Mr. Thompson: Good luck.
Mr. Thompson: Ohh, nice choice.
Rachel: Joey! Joey, good one! (Mr. Thompson starts to laugh.)
Mr. Thompson: Thats good. Very good! (Walks away.)
MR. GELLER: It's the off light. Right Ross? [pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache]
Joey: Uhh, excuse me is there a Mr. Bowmont at this table?
Mr. Geller: (entering) Hi Rachel.
Mr. Bowmont: I dont think so dear.
Mr. Bowmont: Thats me.
Mr. Thompson: Congratulations on your new boat, Joey Tribbiani!!
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont, is tied up alongside the pier; Joey and Rachel are relaxing.]
Mr. Geller: We have it. Only now, we call it the beach house.
Mr. Geller: What?! They wanted a scary story!
Mr. Bowmont: I was actually relieved uh I didnt win the boat. My wife wouldve killed me.
[Scene: The Geller household, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner. The doorbell rings.]
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
Mr. Treeger:: Okay ahh, well, just ahh, follow my lead. (Turns on some music)
Mrs. Potter: Mr. Simons been waiting for(sees Phoebe and Rick) Oh my God!
Monica: Excuse me Mr. Mexico.
Mr. Geller: It seemed like such a simple idea.
(Mr. Thompson looks shocked and at Rachel, she suddenly starts laughing.)
[Scene: Mr. Geller's party. Mr. Geller and a friend are questioning Richard while Ross observes.]
Mr. Tribbiani: No, it's only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy. ...Joe. Y'ever been in love?
MR. GELLER: Your mother's right. Take her, you can wear my tux.
Chandler: He had sex with Mr. Girabaldi!
Mr. Zelner: You wrote that you have a cute touchie?
Ross: Ooh, well. Ah, I kinda have got a lot on my plate right now, not that I wouldn't love a weekend in the country with a strange man. (Mr. Oberblau giggles)
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont (Joeys boat), shes shown to be in one of the waterways around New York, but in reality shes in a sound stage on the Warner Bros. lot and we see New York from the water in some rather poor green screen shots. Rachel and Joey are on board.]
(They start towards the door but are stopped when Mr. Zelner enters.)
Mr. Zelner: Uh actually, Id like to speak with both of you.
Mr. Zelner: Hello Rachel, you uh, got a minute?
Tag: (interrupting) Uh Mr. Zelner, Im the one who filled in that evaluation.
Joey: Who cares?! I-Ill make payments, whatever it takes, I want the Mr. Bowmont!!
Mr. Treeger:: No! Youre clogging up the chute that I spent a half-hour unclogging!