words in movies
[Cut to a hallway in the building, Monica and Phoebe are knocking on a door. Mr. Heckles emerges.]
Mr. Heckles: Whaddyou want?
Monica: Mr. Heckles, our friend lost a monkey. Have you seen it?
Mr. Heckles: I left a Belgian waffle out here, did you take it?
Mr. Heckles: I wasn't ready for it.
Mr. Heckles: Saw Regis Philbin once...
Phoebe: Okay, thank you, Mr. Heckles. (They move off)
Mr. Heckles: You owe me a waffle.
(Scene 4: Everyone in the hall outside Mr. Heckles' door. Ross is carrying the box of bananas. He bangs on the door)
(Mr. Heckles opens the door)
Mr. Heckles: What about it?
Mr. Heckles: I don't have a monkey.
Mr. Heckles: Potassium.
(There is a monkey-like noise from within and Ross pushes past Mr. Heckles and enters his apartment)
Mr. Heckles: That's my monkey. That's Patti, Patti the monkey.
Mr. Heckles: C'mere, Patti. (Marcel turns round)
Mr. Heckles: C'mere, Patti. (Turns to Mr. Heckles)
Mr. Heckles: That's my monkey.
Mr. Heckles: That's not my monkey. Just the dress is mine, you can send that back whenever.
Joey's Doctor: Kidney stones! Now, ordinarily Mr. Tribbiani, we try to break up the stones up with shock waves, but they're to close to the bladder now. Which means we can either wait for you to pass them or else go up the urethra
Mr. Geller: Your make-up kit? Id feel better.
[Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a janitors closet door.]
Phoebe: (feels his arm) Yeah the material feels so softhello Mr. Bicep! Have you been working out?
Ross: Well Mr. Big Shot is better than wethead.
Mr. Geller: Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. Thats how I got my bad hip.
Rachel: Hi! (to mr Zellner) Excuse us.
ROSS: Don't be silly. Ben loves you. He's just being Mr. Crankypants.
Rachel: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet 'n' Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'. (to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
MR. GREENE: Happy birthday sweetpea.
Chandler: This is okay. Were all adults here; theres nothing to be ashamed of. Now, lets put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. (They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.)
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's (RTST) office. Monica is there about a job.]
Mr Campbell: Well, if you don't want to leave, why are we having this lunch?
Ross: Uh Mr. Morse, can I speak to you for a moment?
[Scene: Mr. Zelner's office, Rachel has come back again to try and do that second interview.]
Mr. Franklin: Hey-hey! Bing? Was that Bob from six you were just talking too?
[Scene: The Gellers Garage, continued from earlier. Ross and Mr. Geller are still deciding what to do.]
Mr. Geller: (Forcefully.) Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet the middle of your ass.
MR. GELLER: Press the button.
Chandler: Mr. Millionaire, new from Snooty Playthings! Third wife sold separately.
Mr. Geller: Of course it did. They're made of wicker.
[Scene: Chandlers Office, hes working at his computer as his boss, Mr. Franklin, sticks his head in.]
Mr. Geller: (shaking her hand) So are you his mother or his father?
Mr Zelner: (looks at Ross, for a long moment, confused) I meant with my son.
MR. HECKLES: I could have birds.
Mr. Zelner: Fair enough.
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks and Mr. Treeger opens the door.]
Mr. Geller: Theres no way in hell, Im paying for it.
Mr. Geller: (embarrassed) Judy, the kids..
Mr. Geller: Chandler, Im gonna have you arrested.
Mr. Bowmont: What the hell, its for a good cause! All right!
Mr. Waltham: (entering) I almost forget the tickets, didnt I?
(There is a knock on the door, Phoebe answers it, its Mr. Heckles)
Mr Zelner: Well, I guess having Rachel back wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
MR. GELLER: I may not know any of your flash dances but I'm no slouch on the dance floor.
Joey: Hey Mr. and Mrs. Geller! Let me help you with that.
Mr. Geller: Happy birthday, sweetie! Give us a hug! (Starts to get up.)
Monica: (Closing the door) Goodbye Mr.Heckles.
JANITOR: Hmm, Lipson knows huh? Ahh, hello Mr. Opossum, enigma of the trees, upside-down denizen of the night, taunting gravity with...
MR. GREENE: ...what the hell does she want with half a boat...
Mr. Douglas: Well, were gonna be layin off people in every department.
Mr. Heckles: (as Phoebe and Rachel leave) You owe me a cat.
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, but yknow, I think the reason were not getting that spin right is because my apartments too small.
MR. GREENE: What? The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday?
MR. GREENE: Did you know your mother spent $1200 dollars on bansai trees. I felt like Gulliver around that place.
Mr. Tribbiani: You're gonna keep an eye on us?
Mr Zelner: This may surprise you, but re-hiring fired employees, is not my main job.
Mr.Heckles: I can hear you through the ceiling. My cats cant sleep.
Mr. Geller: I think there are people in there having sex.
Ross: Hi! (To Mrs. Bing) Hi! (Mr. Bing starts rubbing his arm.) Hi. Has umm, anyone seen Chandler?
Monica: (voice on answering machine) Hi! If youre calling before Saturday, youve reached Monica and Chandler. But if youre calling after Saturday, youve reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats!
Mr. Geller: Listen to me! When my time comes, I wanna be buried at sea.
Mr. Geller: I'd like that.
Chandler: Have you figured out what started the fire Mr. Fireman?
Mr. Geller: Whaddya got there?
Judge: So based on your petition you are seeking an annulment on the grounds that Mr. Geller is mentally unstable.
Chandler: Well, aren't we Mr. "The glass is half empty."
Mr Zelner: (Takes a long look at the egg while he considers it) Wow, that's pretty cool (Takes the egg from Ross)
Mark: Okay, okay look, I know I'm being Mr. Inappropriate today, but it's just so tough, I mean see you walking around and I just wanna touch you and hold you, come on no one's around, just, just kiss me.
Mr. Thompson: Our next item is the romantic trip to Paris. (Pause.) It goes to Emil Alexander high a high bid of 2,300.
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
Mr. Geller: Why would you serve food on such a sharp stick? (Looking a toothpick)
Salon girl: Ok. Very good. Have a seat right over here Mr. Bing and Sonia will be right with you.
Mr. Geller: Beautiful! (Turns to watch with him)
Mrs. Bing: Mr. Geller.
Mr. Thompson: So glad you brought someone.
Mr. Thompson: Your generous contribution brings us a big step closer to building the youth center.
Mr. Tribbiani: (To Phoebe) What happened to the, uh, puppet guy?
Mr. Tribbiani: Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the navy yard and show you the big ships?
Mr Zellner: (confused) That's great!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Mr. Tribbiani is on the phone.]
Mr. Geller: Yknow how the garage floods every Spring?
Mr. Tribbiani: Thank you. Uh...
Mr. Tribbiani: Huh?
Mr. Tribbiani: Hey, Joe.
Mr. Tribbiani: I don't want you taking that thing.
Monica: All right relax Mr. Ive Had Sex Four Times!
The Director: (entering carrying a newspaper) Here we go people! (starts reading the review) Boxing Day! The Lucille Lortel Theatre, blah-la-la-la Ah-ha! Joey Tribianni, gives an uneven performance, but Mr. Tribianni is not the worst thing in this production.
Mr. Tribbiani: What kinda change?
Mr. Tribbiani: Yeah, but this is
Mr. Tribbiani: I can't do that!
Mr. Tribbiani: Hey. Morning, dear.
Mr. Tribbiani: We'll go to a hotel.
Mr. Geller: Not just restaurants, from our house.
Phoebe: Where are you going, Mr. Suity-Man?
Mr. Heckles: (to Eric) Who are you?
Mr. Douglas: Nina.
Monica: Oh. Hi, Mr.Heckles.
Mr. Geller: 'Cause there's time to make up for that. We can do stuff together. You always wanted to go to that Colonial Williamsburg. How 'bout we do that?
Mr.Heckles: See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about.
Mr Campbell: Dating profile? I-I-I'm talking about the work resumé.
Mr. Geller: All-right fine, but I just want to say, Im not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it werent for us, cheap little man. (Emilys stepmum looks shocked. Jack and Judy get up and leave.)
Nina: Mr.Douglas... (flirting defensively) ..cool tie.
Mr. Geller: I was just thinking. When my time comes-
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont, its Joeys second lesson with Rachel as the resident sailing expert.]
[Scene: The Hotel, Monicas room, Mr. and Mrs. Bing are staring at each other while Phoebe looks on.]
Mr. Geller: (also lying) Ill help you dial.
Phoebe: (with a deep voice) Mr. Bing's office. (Listens) No I'm sorry, he's in a meeting right now.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Mr. and Mrs. Geller enter looking particularly refreshed. Monica follows looking rather pale.]