words in movies
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
Mrs. Geller: (entering) Hows the hired help?
Mrs. Geller: Whats this? Blue nail polish?
Mrs. Geller: Ahh, thats what your Grandmothers hands looked like when we found her.
Mrs. Geller: Hmm.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well Richard raved about the food at his party, of course you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice, I assume you werent sleeping with anybody there. Though, at least that would be something. (Leaves)
Mrs. Geller: (entering) (to Monica) Honey, dont bite your nails.
Mrs. Geller: (laughs) Im not freaking out.
Mrs. Geller: Its nothing, its just that now your Father owes me five dollars.
Mrs. Geller: Oh no, dont be silly. I just bet Id need these. (Opens the freezer to reveal )
Mrs. Geller: Um-hmm.
Mrs. Geller: No-no-no, that was all true. This was just in case you pulled a Monica.
Mrs. Geller: Oh honey, come on, have a sense of humour, youve never been able to laugh at yourself.
Mrs. Geller: No, I have faith
Mrs. Geller: (entering) Well, everyone seems to be enjoying your dish.
Mrs. Geller: I thought it was quite tasty.
Mrs. Geller: (interrupting) A bitch?
Mrs. Geller: Yes, well I was wrong, and I have to say you really impressed me today.
Mrs. Geller: And the next time you cater for me, there will be nothing but ice in the freezer. (She starts to bite her nails)
[knock at the door, Monica answers to see Mrs. Greene]
Mrs. Geller: (incredulous) You dont know how that happened?! Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy!
Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?
[Scene: The Hotel, Monicas room, Mr. and Mrs. Bing are staring at each other while Phoebe looks on.]
Mrs. Bing: Alright. (Kisses him)
MRS. GREEN: [entering] There she is.
MRS GREEN: Oh hello, Ross.
MRS GREEN: Yes.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Oh my god. Now I've seen everything! [Phoebe's voice] Whoa, she's gone. She's gone. She's gone! Go ahead, get married. Go, go.
MRS GREEN: Look at this.
MRS GREEN: No.
MRS GREEN: Well, not just for you.
MRS GREEN: No.
Mrs. Geller: I'm not sure I know what you're getting at.
MRS. GELLER: Hi darling.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, hi Rachel.
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh no, I am a fabulous mom! I bought my son his first condoms.
Mrs. Green: Look at that face! Just like when you were in high school! If I didnt know better Id say you were a cheerleader in trouble. Come on, lets get some tea.
MRS. GELLER: Why?
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
MRS. GELLER: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?
MRS. GELLER: Really.
Mrs. Bing: You okay there, slugger?
MRS. GELLER: Oh?
Mike: Not possible! (they kiss, and then Mike says proudly...) She's gonna be Mrs. No Balls.
Mrs. Tribbiani: Of course I knew! What did you think? Your father is no James Bond. You should've heard some of his cover stories. "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's," I mean, what is that? Please!
MRS. GELLER: Sooo, Richard's shopping in the junior section.
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] In my day, divorce was not an option.
MRS. GELLER: [they start kissing] Oh Jack stop.
MRS. GELLER: So, who's the mystery man?
MRS. GELLER: Well that's wonderful. . . I
MRS. GELLER: Oh please, a relationship.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Talk about crap. Try listening to Stella Niedman tell the story of her and Rod Steiger for the hundredth time.
MRS. GREENE: Happy birthday sweetie.
MRS BUFFAY: Yeah. Frank.
MRS. GELLER: She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone?
MRS. GREENE: Well, my goodness, what was that?
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
MRS BUFFAY: Schnoodle. Oh my God, what the hell happened to my dog?
MRS BUFFAY: What are these, stitches?
MRS. GREENE: You thought I was Rachel?
MRS. GREENE: Happy birthday sweetie.
MRS. GREENE: Ross, what're you doing.
MRS. GREENE: You wear bi-focals?
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
ROSS: Hi, Mrs. Green. [He gets up to shake her hand, but she ignores him.]
MRS. WINEBURG: You told me you didn't see anything.
[Scene: Mrs. Verhoevens Apartment, Ross is back to inquire about the elder Verhoevens health or lack there of.]
MRS. GREENE: Hi Monica.
RACHEL: Oh hi, Mr. Wineburg, hi Mrs. Wineburg.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack.
MRS. GREENE: Alright, Monica dear, I'm gonna hit the road. Now I've left my 10 verbs on the table. And you be sure and send me that finished poem.
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
MRS. GELLER: Oh, we were so sorry to hear about your parents splitting up, dear.
Mrs. Green: Well uh, I dont have a gift because I wasnt invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyones attention.
Phoebe: Mrs. Waltham. Hi. Its Phoebe again.
MRS. GELLER: You were fired? What're you gonna do?
MRS GREEN: Oh, am I! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. And three other girls made eyes at me over the buffet. Oh, I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue, but it's nice to know I have options.
MRS. GELLER: Which one? Which button, Jack.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or.... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-
Phoebe: Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And its against my oath as a masseuse.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Monica: Excuse me, Mrs. Burkart? Well, we're all cleaned up in the kitchen.
Mrs. Geller: Honestly! Ross, this isnt just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped. A child should have a family.
Mrs. Geller: We know how expensive weddings can be, besides this may be the only wedding we get to throw (patting Monica on the shoulder.).
MRS. GELLER: Jack, give me that. Talk to your son.
MRS GREEN: The only man I've ever been with is your father.
MRS. GELLER: Oh hi kids. Hi darling.
(Mrs. Walthams phone rings and she answers it.)
Mrs. Geller: Oh, maybe that's it.
MRS. GELLER: Dance with your father.
Mrs. Geller: Sweetie, you think you can get in there?
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Ross: I-I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away and Im so sorry for your loss.
[Mrs. Geller and Ross both enter]
Mrs. Tribbiani: I came to give you this (Gives him a bag of groceries) and this. (Whacks him round the ear)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Geller are watching tennis on TV, Monica is sitting at the table]
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Mrs. Bing: Car's waiting downstairs, I just wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends. Anything you want from Lisbon?
Mrs. Bing: Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon therell be lots of little Bings. (He freaks out and loosens the tie again.)
Frank: Hi, Mrs. Knight.
[Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.)
Rachel: It's not! I'm defrosting a chicken. (Pause) Oh, I uh sold Mrs. Whiskerson.
Mrs. Green: All right you two, Im gonna get going.
MRS GREEN: This is just so exciting. You know, I never worked. I went straight from my father's house to the sorority house to my husband's house. I am just so proud of you.
MRS. GELLER: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
MRS BUFFAY: Yeah well, thanks for bringing back what's left of him.
MRS. GELLER: So Jack, you ever think about trading me in for a younger model?
Mrs. Green: Sweetheart I know youre gonna be terrific mom, I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning.
Mrs. Geller: Me? I'm fine, fine. I'm glad you're here. ...What's with your hair?
MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
MRS. GREENE: ...the scotch and the cigarettes...
MRS GREEN: Sweetie! So this is where you work? Oh, it's wonderful! Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell? But I guess that's the fun.
Mrs. Geller: Just think about it. If you dont, Ill talk more about humping.
Rachel: Mrs. Kay! Oh yeah, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish. I actually think I remember some of it, tu madre es loca. (I think thats your mothers crazy.)
MRS. GREENE: Oh, I missed you kids. Well, should I put my coat in the bedroom?