words in movies
[Scene: The Bing household, Mr. and Mrs. Bing and Young Chandler are eating Thanksgiving dinner as a housekeeper serves them.]
Mrs. Bing: Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce it doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the house-boy than me.
[Scene: The Geller household, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner. The doorbell rings.]
Mrs. Geller: Monica! I think Rachel's here!
Mrs. Geller: You too sweethart!
Mrs. Geller: I'm so glad you could come Chandler, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well, I'm so glad you brought him here then.
Mrs. Geller: (holding two pies) Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge.
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Mrs. Geller is cooking and Rachel, post nose job, is helping her.]
Mrs. Geller: So Rachel, your mom tells me you changed your major again.
Mrs. Geller: Jack.
Mrs. Geller: I'll get it.
Mrs. Geller: She's upstairs. Monica! Come down! Everyone's here! Ross, Rachel, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.
Mrs. Geller: Yes, yes Monica is thin. It's wonderful. But what we really want to hear about is Ross's new girlfriend.
Mrs. Geller: Oh my God! There's a toe in my kitchen.
Mrs. Geller: I'm not sure I know what you're getting at.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Oh my god. Now I've seen everything! [Phoebe's voice] Whoa, she's gone. She's gone. She's gone! Go ahead, get married. Go, go.
MRS. GELLER: Hi darling.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, hi Rachel.
Mrs. Green: Look at that face! Just like when you were in high school! If I didnt know better Id say you were a cheerleader in trouble. Come on, lets get some tea.
MRS. GELLER: Why?
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) Oh no, I am a fabulous mom! I bought my son his first condoms.
MRS. GELLER: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] In my day, divorce was not an option.
MRS. GELLER: Really.
Mrs. Bing: You okay there, slugger?
MRS. GELLER: [they start kissing] Oh Jack stop.
MRS. GELLER: Oh?
MRS. GELLER: So, who's the mystery man?
MRS. GELLER: Well that's wonderful. . . I
MRS. GELLER: Oh please, a relationship.
Mike: Not possible! (they kiss, and then Mike says proudly...) She's gonna be Mrs. No Balls.
Mrs. Tribbiani: Of course I knew! What did you think? Your father is no James Bond. You should've heard some of his cover stories. "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's," I mean, what is that? Please!
MRS. GELLER: Sooo, Richard's shopping in the junior section.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Talk about crap. Try listening to Stella Niedman tell the story of her and Rod Steiger for the hundredth time.
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
MRS BUFFAY: Schnoodle. Oh my God, what the hell happened to my dog?
MRS BUFFAY: Yeah. Frank.
MRS BUFFAY: What are these, stitches?
MRS. GELLER: She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone?
MRS. GREENE: Well, my goodness, what was that?
MRS. GREENE: You thought I was Rachel?
MRS. GREENE: Happy birthday sweetie.
MRS. GREENE: Happy birthday sweetie.
MRS. GREENE: Ross, what're you doing.
Mrs. Geller: Its nothing, its just that now your Father owes me five dollars.
MRS. GREENE: You wear bi-focals?
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
MRS. GREENE: Alright, Monica dear, I'm gonna hit the road. Now I've left my 10 verbs on the table. And you be sure and send me that finished poem.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack.
MRS. WINEBURG: You told me you didn't see anything.
[Scene: Mrs. Verhoevens Apartment, Ross is back to inquire about the elder Verhoevens health or lack there of.]
RACHEL: Oh hi, Mr. Wineburg, hi Mrs. Wineburg.
MRS. GREENE: Hi Monica.
ROSS: Hi, Mrs. Green. [He gets up to shake her hand, but she ignores him.]
MRS. GELLER: Oh, we were so sorry to hear about your parents splitting up, dear.
Phoebe: Mrs. Waltham. Hi. Its Phoebe again.
MRS. GELLER: Richard. Richard. Your son isn't seeing anyone is he?
Mrs. Green: Well uh, I dont have a gift because I wasnt invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyones attention.
MRS. GELLER: You were fired? What're you gonna do?
MRS. GELLER: Jack, give me that. Talk to your son.
MRS. GELLER: Which one? Which button, Jack.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or.... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-
Phoebe: Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And its against my oath as a masseuse.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Monica: Excuse me, Mrs. Burkart? Well, we're all cleaned up in the kitchen.
Mrs. Geller: Honestly! Ross, this isnt just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped. A child should have a family.
Mrs. Geller: We know how expensive weddings can be, besides this may be the only wedding we get to throw (patting Monica on the shoulder.).
MRS GREEN: Oh, am I! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. And three other girls made eyes at me over the buffet. Oh, I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue, but it's nice to know I have options.
MRS. GELLER: Oh hi kids. Hi darling.
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
(Mrs. Walthams phone rings and she answers it.)
Mrs. Geller: Oh, maybe that's it.
MRS. GELLER: Dance with your father.
Mrs. Geller: Sweetie, you think you can get in there?
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
MRS GREEN: The only man I've ever been with is your father.
Ross: I-I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away and Im so sorry for your loss.
Rachel: It's not! I'm defrosting a chicken. (Pause) Oh, I uh sold Mrs. Whiskerson.
Mrs. Tribbiani: I came to give you this (Gives him a bag of groceries) and this. (Whacks him round the ear)
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Geller are watching tennis on TV, Monica is sitting at the table]
MRS GREEN: This is just so exciting. You know, I never worked. I went straight from my father's house to the sorority house to my husband's house. I am just so proud of you.
Mrs. Green: All right you two, Im gonna get going.
MRS. GELLER: So Jack, you ever think about trading me in for a younger model?
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
MRS. GELLER: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
MRS BUFFAY: Yeah well, thanks for bringing back what's left of him.
Mrs. Green: Sweetheart I know youre gonna be terrific mom, I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning.
Mrs. Bing: Car's waiting downstairs, I just wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends. Anything you want from Lisbon?
[Mrs. Geller and Ross both enter]
Mrs. Geller: Me? I'm fine, fine. I'm glad you're here. ...What's with your hair?
MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
Frank: Hi, Mrs. Knight.
[Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.)
MRS GREEN: Sweetie! So this is where you work? Oh, it's wonderful! Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell? But I guess that's the fun.
Mrs. Bing: Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon therell be lots of little Bings. (He freaks out and loosens the tie again.)
MRS. GREENE: ...the scotch and the cigarettes...
Mrs. Geller: Just think about it. If you dont, Ill talk more about humping.
Mrs. Geller: Whats this? Blue nail polish?
Rachel: Mrs. Kay! Oh yeah, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish. I actually think I remember some of it, tu madre es loca. (I think thats your mothers crazy.)
Mrs. Geller: Um-hmm.
Mrs. Geller: Yes, well I was wrong, and I have to say you really impressed me today.
Mrs. Geller: It really was. Oh, c'mere, sweetheart. (Hugs her) Y'know, I think it might be time for you to start using night cream.
MRS. GREENE: Oh, I missed you kids. Well, should I put my coat in the bedroom?
Mrs. Burkart: Oh, good. Thank you.
Rachel: Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too... (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)
Mrs. Burkart: All right. I'll get my bag.
Mrs. Burkart: (Singing) ...the lullabye of...
Mrs. Burkart: (Singing) Come on along and listen to...
MRS. GREENE: Oh, you kids [she caresses his face and chest] Well, this is the best party I've been to in years.