words in movies
Phoebe: Oh, I like my job.
Joey: I *love* my job.
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Claudia: My kid's in a play right now.
Ken: You can come to my house!
"Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. Now, you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along. No, don't sing along.
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man?
Chandler: But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
Chandler: This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about, but... you're getting ham on my only tie.
Chandler: Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, she's amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...she'd kick your ass. Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside. But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so nothing is ever gonna happen between us.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Chandler: Oh, okay, I have condom in my wallet that I've had since I was twelve.
Chandler: Yeah, I'm putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy, then, then that's what we're gonna do.
Monica: Okay, fine. Let's talk about snow. -- Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa, where my husband is having sex on a copying machine?
Ross: Oh my god...
Monica: Oh my god!
Phoebe: Now give me my real gift.
Mike: (gets up) Joe, I love Phoebe. She's the single most important thing in my life. I'd die before I let anything happen to her.
Joey: See ya! All right Pheebs, I am ready for my first lesson.
Ross: What... what am I gonna do? My speech is gone, Chandler!
Rachel: They're my new 'I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots' boots!
Danny: Okay, listen, I really like you. Okay? I think this can go somewhere. So what if I'm close to my family, are you gonna let that stand in the way of us?
The Food Critic: Im torn, between my integrity and my desire to avoid a beating. But I must be honest, your soap is abysmal. (Throws down the spoon and walks out.)
Rachel: Hi! I just wanna-(sees Monica)-Ahhh!!! Oh my God! (She runs out in horror.) Oh my God!
Woman No. 1: (looks into the box) Oh my God! What's wrong with your baby?!
PHOE: Oohh, um, no, I don't think that's the problem. 'Cause we went, um, dancing the other night and the way he held me so close, and the way he was looking into my eyes I just like... definitely felt something.
PHOEBE: Um well I don't really. Just genetically. He's kinda my dad too.
Joanna: Oh. And Rachel has been really incredible in getting my morning bagel for me. Its amazing how she gets it right almost every time!
CHANDLER: That's what I did when I lost my Clydesdales.
Chandler: Hey, listen, I know I came in late last week, but I slept funny, and my hair was very very –
Chandler: Oh totally! (Holds up his finger.) Pull my finger.
Chandler: Oh that makes me feel so warm in my hollow tin chest.
Ross: Yeah, Charlie is gonna be joining my department.
Ross: This is my son having lunch, ok? It's gonna happen a lot, so you'd better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it, now come on.
Emily: Ohh, here comes my dad and stepmum. Mister and Misses Geller, this is Steven and Andrea Waltham.
Chandler: What if I had had the guts to quit my job? Id probably be writing for the New Yorker, getting paid to be funny. But my jobs fun too! I mean tomorrow, I-I dont have to wear a tie.
Chandler: Well I'm not showing you my 'tat.'
Monica: Yeah but it was because I-I had an eye exam and I dont like my new eye doctor.
Rachel: No well, no it's not that bad, y'know? I mean yeah, my tongue feels a little fuzzy and these fingers sort of smell, I actually feel like I can throw up.
Rachel: whhh wait, you're gonna leave my party to take care of a box of rats?
Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!
Rachel: Oh my God! What if he thinks I'm the kind of girl that-that would just sleep with him?
Joey: Oh, I-I, I think that's the first time I ever missed a meal! (Checks his pants.) Yeah, my pants are a little loose!
Phoebe: Well, sure in a perfect world. But, no, I promised I wouldnt tell, and I swore to like all my gods.
Chandler: Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! (pause) Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here!
Joey: Youre ready to have a baby? My boys all grown up!
Joey: I cant believe Ross went out with Rachels sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.
Phoebe: Quite an interesting turn of events, suddenly its my book to the rescue, huh? (Reading her book) Ooh, very interesting. Yeah, well this certainly clears things up.
Charlie: And you know, you can just give me my stuff whenever you want.
Chandler: Oh, I had an appointment to get my haircut
Ben: I have to go. My friend Doug is waiting for me over there. (Goes over to Doug.)
Rachel: Well yeah, I do, but I decided to take a long lunch and spend some time with my friend Monica. Y'know I-I feel that we don't talk anymore. How are you? What is new with you?
Ross: Hey! Hey! Hey! I get to choose my best man, and I want both you guys.
Lizzie: Would you like my tin-foil hat?
Ross: (Sighing.) It was...This disagreement over...(She sighs. Ross notices her in her wedding dress.) My god. You...you look beautiful.
Ross: No, its my joke, its mine. You can call them, theyll tell you.
Monica: Oh my God, I went to high school with her. (to Rachel) Rachel! Hi!
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, there's laughing in my head.
Rachel: My due date is in one week!
Parker: No, no, no wait! Dont tell me. Let me guess. (Points as he says their names) Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and, Im sorry Phoebe didnt mention you. (Chandler makes a face) Chandler, Im kidding all ready youre my favorite!
Ross: I'm just, I'm just glad I didn't miss my daughter's first words (goes back to checking the tickets).
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Yep! (Gets up) Oh, y'know what? If I heard a shot right now, I'd throw my body on you.
Rachel: Oh good. (She walks to the closed bathroom door, opens it, and finds a naked woman wrapped in a towel.) Ahhh! My God, sorry! (She closes the door and confronts Joey.)
Roy: You know, actually that's not a bad idea. I can do it out of my apartment. I don't think my mom would mind.
Rachel: And yknow what else, oh my God, are they gonna love you.
Chandler: (jumps back and points at the cigarette) Oh my God!
Pete: Okay, my trainer, Ho Chi, is teaching me a combination of Gee Koon Doe and Brazilian street fighting, Ive even had my own octagon training ring designed.
Ross: (entering with Charlie) Oh, hey you guys! This is Charlie! Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica.
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
MONICA: My brother, the PhD would like to know if there's any way to treat this orally.
Chandler: She'll love it. Go with the egg, my friend.
Rachel: Oh my God, I cant believe this is a real $20,000 check, oh this is just so exciting.
Chandler: You kissed my best Ross! ...Or something to that effect.
Phoebe: Or instead, maybe you could just not marry my brother Frank.
GIRL 1: Alright, let me just get my coat.
Joey: Why don't you go see Frankie? My family's been goin' to him forever. He did my first suit when I was 15. No wait, 16. No, 'scuse me, 15. (still confused) All right, when was 1990?
Amy: Well, I don't need you to help me, because I already know what I'm going to do with my life.
Phoebe: Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge?
Monica: I cant be fair. Youre my boyfriend.
Phoebe: Well, umm, my Moms friend, Phoebe, is actually my birth Mom.
Joey: Oh, and guess what, I got an audition for All My Children.
MRS. GELLER: Hi, darling. Where's my grandson, you didn't bring him?
Chandler: Well, what if we just ah, called her, used a fake name, and had her come to my office?
Rachel: Its not dumb. But, maybe its okay that youre not a part of it. Y'know what I mean? (Ross looks confused) I mean its like, I-I-I like that youre not involved in that part of my life.
PHOEBE: Oh, ooh, Soap Opera Digest, oh that's one of my favorite digests.
Ross: Well umm, Ive been doing a lot more of my kara-tay.
Rachel: (tearful) I just can't believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming up- I wanted him to meet my family-
JOEY: There's my scene, there's my scene. [Joey on tv] "Mrs. Wallace, I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon.
Rachel: (looking at her fingers) Oh my God! Let me see that! (Grabs the book from him.)
Ross: I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.
Joey: Oh, come on! Have you seen what my kid can do?! Huh?! I mean he dials phones! He-he-he eats tortilla chips! He-he plays soccer with the cartoon tiger!
Chandler: Thats weird. I dont think my boss likes me either.
ERICA: Oh my God. Do the people at the hospital know about this?
SUSIE: How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over?
Monica: But my clothes areohh! (They both leave.)
Monica: Oh. So nice of her to pull my hair, 'till I dropped the key!
Phoebe: Well speaking of chiming in, remember the time you burned down my apartment?
Ross: OH MY GOD!! I didnt really believe it until you just said it!!
Chandler: My wife and I have some boundary issues, you know, sometimes we ask inappropriate questions. We're working on it.
Rachel: Oh, you’re not gonna believe what happened to me today! Ralph Lauren called, and gave me my job back!
RYAN: If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.
Phoebe: Oh, and great! You might as well bring me my book, its on the counter in your apartment.
Phoebe: That's fine, just don't bring it in my mouth.
Dr. Green: The wedding! Theres going to be a wedding. Young lady, dont you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is going to be a bastard! (Rachel pauses) Rachel Karen Green, tell me there is gonna be a wedding!!
(Joey leaves and Monica mouths to Chandler Oh my God!)
Monica: A jazz trio for cocktails. The Bay City Rollers for dancing. Wait, that was from my sixth grade wedding.
Phoebe: If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off.
tip the scales in my direction. Check it out, you can probably see it from the window. (They all head to the window.)
Rachel: Oh, yeah! Real fun. (She makes a decision.) Yknow, this bra Really, bothers me. (She starts taking off her bra.) Yknow, this used to be my bedroom. Yeah. A lot of memories in here, a lot of memories. If these walls could talk, yknow what theyd say? Wanna hear some memories? (She is now violently pulling on her bra in order to remove it, but it isnt co-operating.)
Joey: (slow on the uptake) Oh my God!
Monica: Wait a minute! (Quickly checks her pockets and pulls out ) My last Kit-Kat bar!
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
ROSS: Well, there's no way I'm gonna get a shot. Maybe they can take the needle and thquirt it into my mouth, you know, like a thquirt gun.
Chandler: Oh hey. Id shake your hand but uh; Im really into the game. Plus, I think itd be better for my ego if we didnt stand right next to each other.
Chandler: Oh my God!
Monica: Oh my God!
Chandler: Okay-dokay, you've each won a game and I've lost what's felt like a year of my life. So everybody goes home a winner.