words in movies
CHANDLER: Well, thanks man. Now I can get my pony.
CHANDLER: [reads] To my best bud. [puts it back in the case] Thanks best bud.
ROSS: [puts the message in the cupboard] I don't know, I don't get, I don't get it, I mean, wh, wh, two months ago Rachel and I were like, this close. Right now, what, I'm takin messages from guys she, she meets at the movies? I mean this, this Casey should be takin' down my messages, ya know, or, or, Rachel and I should be together and, and we should get some kind of me, message service.
PHOEBE: OK. Ooh, OK, you gotta give me a second, I wanna get this just right. [she sticks out her gut, clears her throat and sniffs her nose and then in her best male voice. . .] Dude, 11 o'clock, totally hot babe checkin' you out. That was really good, I think I'm ready for my penis now.
CHANDLER: I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and sees Joey] Hi. Hey man, we were just doin' some uhh, impressions over here. Do your Marcel Marceau. [Joey turns around and walks out without saying anything] That's actually good.
ROSS: Oh, oh my God, is this the wrong day? I don't believe it, uh, well, hey, I guess if it works out we'll, we'll have something to tell the grandkids.
ROSS: Uh, uh, well you're, umm, you're my lobster.
ROSS: No no, you're uh, you're my lobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, they get with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with, with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the whole lobster thing?
CHANDLER: Hey man, look it's my best bud. How ya doin? [Joey doesn't respond] Wow, you are really gettin' good at that Marcel Marceau thing. Hey, whaddya say uh, we play some ball, you and me, huh, whaddya say? [Throws a basketball to Joey. Joey doesn't move to catch it and the ball takes out a lamp] OK, that's my bad.
CHANDLER: OK, well that's the part where I'm a wank. But I was hoping we wouldn't focus on that. [Joey goes to his room and shuts the door] Hey, c'mon man, I said I was sorry like a hundred times, I promise I will never take it off my. . . [notices the bracelet is missing from his wrist] wrist. But if, if you want to stay in there and be mad, you know, you just uh, you stay in there. [he starts searching the room, lifting up the couch cushions]
CHANDLER: I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . [Joey returns to his room]
MRS. GELLER: Hi, darling. Where's my grandson, you didn't bring him?
MR. GELLER: A woman in my office is a lesiban. I'm just saying.
MONICA: Um, yeah, so uh, uhh, listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before but umm, I, I'm no longer at my job, I, I had to leave it.
MONICA: Oh, um, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was uh, a little bigger then.
RACHEL: Oh my God.
RACHEL: They had to reduce it because of, of my deviated septum.
RACHEL: Oh, that's OK, it's just the shoulder, it's not my dress.
ROSS: Oh, you know, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna hang out, work on my music.
RACHEL: [the shoulders of her dress keep falling off her shoulders] Is my hook unhooked? These things keep falling down, I can't. . .
RACHEL: Oh my God, look there's Roy Gublik.
MONICA: I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob.
RACHEL: I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late.
MR. GELLER: Your mother's right. Take her, you can wear my tux.
RACHEL: I can't believe I don't get to go to my own prom, this is so harsh.
ROSS: OK. Hold my board.
Rachel: Oh my God! What does that thing do?
Joshua: Wow! Uhh, Rachel uhh, youre a real special lady, but my divorce isnt final yet and, and, and weve been on four days, so Im thinking "No, but thanks."
Monica: They're still in my coat.
Joey: You wanna eat? (Pulls out the twenty) My treat!
Rachel: Ross-Ross, you have no idea what this means to me! I mean, I mean I was gonna be homeless. You just saved me! Youre my hero!
Janine: I was just coming over here to apologize for my behavior! Id really like it if we could be friends.
RACH: Let me get my coat.
Richard: Just your dad. (pause) Although thats actually racquetball. You know I-I do have a blind date with my sisters neighbour next Tuesday.
Joey: Is this movie gonna be my big break?
Phoebe: Rach, look! (she holds two buns up to her ears to make her hair look like the Princess Leia 'do.) Oh, hi! Where is my strong Ross Skywalker to come rescue me. (Ross stands up horrified) There he is.
Phoebe: All right, Ive never been engaged and Ive never really been married, but I can only tell you what my mother told me. Whenever you have doubts or fears or anxieties about a relationship, do not communicate them to your husband.
Rachel: Oh, hi. I have a massage appointment under Rachel Green, and here is my gift certificate.
Chandler: Okay, our news. My company has asked me to head up our office in Tulsa , so as of Monday I'm being officially relocated.
Phoebe: Oh my God, I remember now! We were playing chess!
Rachel: What?!! Stop it! Stop it! Oh my God!
Ross: Well, with everything thats been going on lately, I havent exactly been the perfect boyfriend. You know, I, uh, I didnt tell her I got Rachel pregnant. I gave her a key to my apartment, and then had the locks changed! And then I lied to her about Rachel moving in with me. In a way, I actually judge her for not breaking up with me sooner, you know?
Phoebe: I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach?
Phoebe: Oh wait, my grandmother's dead.
Dan: Sure! I'll get somebody to cover my shift.
Joey: Look Rach, my parents bought this fridge just after I was born, okay? Now, I have never had a problem with it. Then you show up and it breaks! What does that tell ya?
Joey: Oh yeah? Well, you don't know about Hugsy, my bedtime penguin pal. (Joey shies away.)
Ross: (happily) My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. (He hugs them both.) (To Joey and Rachel) You guys probably wanna get some hugs in too, huh? Big news!
Dr. Green: So what's new with you, uh, knocked up any more of my daughters lately?
Emily: I still cant believe theyre tearing it down. It really is the most lovely building youll ever see. I mean its over (She stops suddenly, when she sees that demolition has already started.) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh right, yeah okay, my Mom could, and I cant. We dont have that....
Chandler: Oh my God.
EDDIE: Well, not unless it's got something to do with dehydrating my man because right now I'm a dehydrating maniac!
Student: Oh its great, its a role on All My Children, Nick the boxer.
Chandler: You dont, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?
Joey: Yesterday's pages did not reflect my best work.
Parker: That sounds great. (Sits down) My God this is the most comfortable couch Ive ever sat on in my entire life. (Bounces on couch)
Ross: Oh-oh, hitting me where it hurts, my ski skills.
Joanna: Oh. Well, I wish I could say no, but you cant stay my assistant forever. Neither can you Sophie, but for different reasons.
Chloe: But my apartment is so...
Chandler: Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore, and I figure the best way to do that is face to faceAnd by face I dont mean his lap. And by face, I dont mean my ass. (Exits.)
Joey: I found my identical hand twin!
Rachel: I just wanted to let you know I've changed my mind: I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna kiss Joey.
Ross: My doctoral dissertation is in the library at school, I went to see it, and there were students makin babies right in the middle of the Paleontology section!
Ross: Hey, you wet my pants!
Ross: My nana used to do it. That's how she paid for all my dancekarate lessons.
Joey: No, still too ethnic. My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral.
Rachel: (softly) Oh my God.
Janice: Oh, my god, I am so glad you called me. I had the most supremely awful day.
Gary: Yeah, you can't eat that in my car.
Monica: Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Joey: No, no, hey, no! Too late for apologies... ok? You broke my heart. You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you? (and he leaves the apartment, leaving her shocked)
Ross: No, I cant. I would, I really would, but my son is here; I cant leave him. Isntyou dont think theres any way?
The Lurker: I won! That was my quarter!
Gary: This witness won't return my calls so we're gonna see if we can surprise him coming home.
Monica: Oh my God! I love that!
Chandler: Oh my God!! Is everybody getting married?!!
Chandler: Oh my God!
Phoebe: I cant. I cant. She dumped me, I mean I totally trusted her and then one day it was Okay, bye Pheebs gone. Y'know what the saddest part is, when we were playing together, that was like the most fun Ive ever had in like all my lives.
Phoebe: Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
Chandler and Phoebe: ...in you, my endless (Phoebe goes high pitched, Chandler goes low pitched) love. (they both look at each other.) My endless love. (once again they dont match tones, and they just look at each other)
Phoebe: Oh my God!Eh! Well
Cop: Yeah, but I kinda don't have a choice, it's my job. I mean, you understand right?
Monica: Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)
Monica: Shes my favorite character on DOOL.
Phoebe: What about my cab?
Monica: Which we are, and-and we already paid for it. Its My Giant!
Rachel: Oh my God.
Monica: Why does my cinamon stick have an eraser?
Phoebe: Yeah, I should probably take it back. Ooh, but you know what? While I'm at the police station, I could check their Ten Most Wanted lists because my friend Fritzy has been like number 11 forever, so this could be her year! (She crosses her fingers in hope.)
Ross: You dont know?! Rach, you balded my girlfriend!
Rachel: Uh well, y'know what? I don't think if I feel comfortable stealing on my very first day
Monica: Right. Umm, listen since were-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Rosss mother
Monica: He took my snack!
Ross: Are you saying your kid eats soup better than my kid?
Phoebe: Well, I mean, Im not my sisters, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, its true, we were one egg, once, but err, you know, weve grown apart, so, um... I dont know, why not? Okay.
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
Joey: (he goes out calling her) Don't move! Don't go! I need you! My audition is tomorrow! Shah blue blah! Me lah peeh! Ombrah! (he gives up). Pooh.
Chandler: Well, what if all my stuff was here?
Rachel: (going through the mail) Oh look! A letter from my mom.
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Ross: (To Chandler) You dont think its a little crazy that you get all my points just cause you
Frank Sr.: All right. Well, y'know in my defense I was a lousy father.
Joey: Oh my God! Youre pregnant!
Chandler: Wow that was my scariest voice! Youre very brave.
Rachel: Oh my God! You really are freakishly strong!
Mrs. Geller: (Looking around at the chapel.) Oh my God! Its like a fairyland.
Ross: Okay I-I just have to stop by my place first.
Phoebe: All right, well, I just can't think about that right now. I just wanna say good-bye to my Grandma.
Monica: All right, Ill take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and thats it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. (to Ross) Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all?
JOEY: Ah, it's career stuff. I don't know if you heard but they killed off my character on the show.
Joey: Oh! Wait-wait! (Reaches inside the shower.) Is it my bologna sandwich?
Chandler: Oh no thats okay, you're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child. But it did hurt my feelings and I want you to know that when I die, you don't get Joey.
ESTL: Well, there's my favorite client. So tell me darling, how was the audition?
Joey: What if I smack my head on the concrete?
Rachel: (turns around) Mark? Oh my God! (puts the box on the chair and they hug each other)
"Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. Now, you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along. No, don't sing along.
Phoebe: My roommate.
Rachel: Ohh! Lucky me! Oh my God! That is good news, Ross! I think that's the best news I've heard since Le Poo died!
Ross: Oh my God! Of course, of course. (To the class.) Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each others hometowns? Why dont you (Motions that they should learn everyones hometown.) (To Phoebe) Wh-whats going on?
Rachel: Oh no, my dad's a doctor and he would always tell me just horror stories (stops and tries to change directions) about ghosts and goblins who totally supported the princess's right to smoke.
Chandler: Oh Im sorry, youre kicking me out of my own living room?
Frannie: Oh, I hate you, I'm pushing my Aunt Roz through Parrot Jungle and you're having sex! So? Who?
Chandler: Because we don't do that. We are Bings! And if there's one thing my father taught me was... well to always knock before going into the pool house... but the other thing was never borrow money.
Phoebe: (to her date) Okay, and then this is the coffee house. This is where I play my music. (points to the stage)
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I cant do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)