words in movies
Joey: Ah, I'm gonna be one of his helpers. It's just such a slap in the face, y'know?
Chandler: Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I'm talking loud!
Rachel: Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you.
Chandler: It's just that I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday. I say this year, no dates, we make a pact. Just the six of us- dinner.
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
I made a man with eyes of coal And a smile so bewitchin', How was I supposed to know That my mom was dead in the kitchen? (shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...
(Over the sound of Phoebe singing we hear two scientists, Max and David, having a noisy discussion)
David: Daryl Hannah was the most beautiful woman that he'd ever seen in his life and I said yeah, I liked her in Splash, a lot, but not so much in- in Wall Street, I thought she had kind of a
David: -hard quality. And uh, while Daryl Hannah is beautiful in a conventional way, you are luminous with a kind of a delicate grace. Then, uh, that-that-that's when you started yelling. (Sits down)
[Scene: Max and David's lab, David is explaining something to Phoebe with the aid of a whiteboard.]
David: Right. But, see, the longer I waited, the more phenomenal the kiss had to be, and now we've reached a place where it's just gotta be one of those things where I just like... sweep everything off the table and throw you down on it. And, uh, I'm not really a, uh, sweeping sorta fella.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, oh, I'm sure of it. You should just do it, just sweep and throw me.
Rachel: (Brings Joey a mug of coffee) Okay, here we go...
Ross: Okay, so on our no-date evening, three of you now have dates.
Janice: Oh my God. You listen to me, Chandler, you listen to me. One of these times is just gonna be your last chance with me. (She runs off)
Phoebe: Oh, you are so going to Minsk. You belong in Minsk. You can't stay here just 'cause of me.
Dick Clark: (on TV) Hi, this is Dick Clark, live in Times Square. We're in a virtual snowstorm of confetti here in Times Square...
Chandler: And the moment of joy is upon us.
Ross: I'm the holiday armadillo! I'm a friend of Santa's and he sent me here to wish you (Points to Ben) a Merry Christmas!
David: That reminds me of you so much, I mean umm, it-its actually of Lenin. But, yknow at certain angles
(There's a couple of seconds of silence. Then Chandler looks around...)
Mike: that is so wrong and on top of that his a glue sniffer.
Phoebe: Okay. Rachel, the hottest babies in the Tri-State Area are in this room right now! I overheard one of the judges say that not one of them holds a candle to Emma!
Chandler: I always knew you were gonna make it. Im so proud of you.
Monica: Okay, guys, listen, don't forget that tomorrow is the day that Emily gets married again, so whatever we do, just try to really keep Ross's mind off of it.
Joey: Well, that is a large piece of television equipment. (Points at a large piece of television equipment as an old man walks by.) And uh that is an old man! Hey old man!
Rachel: Yes you are! Oh, I am so proud of you!
Rachel: I cannot believe you guys! He was really nice and he left because of you!
Monica: Okay ah, please dont freak out. Umm, but ah, theres a blue fingernail in one of the quiche cups, and theres no way to know which one.
Rachel: I think it could be kind of great!
Joey: Theres one lucky to-go cup of coffee.
(Phoebe and Joey both grab one side of the wishbone)
Phoebe: Yknow, this is probably none of my business, but werent you guys supposed to not be seen in public together?
Joey: (Yelling from Rachel's room) She has a lot of crap!
Phoebe: No problem! Next week: stealing... (Chandler walks away to store the box of broken china.)
(All of a sudden, Marcel grabs Ross's finger with his whole fist, and he squeezes it, so tight, that Ross finally knows what it is to be a father. He looks up at his friends, who smile encouragingly, Rachel tenderly resting her chin upon Monica's shoulder. Ross realises that Chandler was right and he's gonna make a great dad!)
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
Phoebe: (proud of herself) Oh yes, they are.
Ross: Wait a minute, there's two sets of nozzles, which one is it?
Monica: But still, its a big change. The end of an era, you might say!
Ross: Gunther. (To Chandler) Hey-hey! Why dont we put them on? Yknow get a picture of Batman and James Bond together.
Chandler: Hey, you're gonna be fine. You're one of the most caring, most responsible men in North America. You're gonna make a great dad.
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
Joey: Hey what do you say, we move this onto the likes of the couch?
Ross: Kind of inappropriate, don't you think?
Rachel: Well, I don't get it, but she wanted me to give you her phone number. (Hands him the slip of paper with the phone number on it.)
Joey: Wow! (Tearing up) Well, uh Hey! Im really happy for you guys! Congratulations! (Kisses Monica on the cheek) See you later. (Starts for the door on the verge of tears as Monica stops him.)
(Joey comes out of his room)
Chandler: All right ladies, heres what were gonna do. (Points to a stripper.) You are gonna take off my clothes. (To another two strippers) You two, go get the oils. (To another stripper) And you just constantly scream at the top of your voice, "Chandlers the king! Chandlers the king!"
Sandy: I er... I hope you don't mind. I used some of my home-made lotion on Emma. It's a mixture of calendula and honey cream. It'll dry that rash right up. Plus... It keeps the hands young... (it makes Rachel smile)
RTST: Yeah, well, anyhoo, here is your check. [hands it to her] Thank you for all the trouble you went through. Um, listen, you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you?
Chandler: Ross, just for my own piece of mind, youre not married to anymore of us are ya?
Rachel: Okay, first of all, if you keep calling it that, no one's gonna ever take it. Then, second of all you're not actually gonna have sex with him! You're just gonna make him think that you are.
Joey: Yeah, I just got off the Internet! Man, there is a lot of porn out there!
Rachel: Well, I like the pretty little drawing of you in the wedding dress.
Carl: (sticking his head back in) Hey, uh can I get a little piece of that cake?
Charity guy: Right. Well, on behalf of the children: thank you both very much.
Joey: (manages to pry off only a small piece) Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. Itd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. (starts to walk away, but Monica grabs him)
Ross: Oh, that's OK. I'm sure there are tons of other beautiful paleontologists out there.
Ross: Like I said I was thinking of taking Emma to the museum of knives and fire!
Ross: No, of course, Um Um, everybody? Um, I-I just wanted to say on behalf of my new bride, Rachel (She turns around and smiles), and myself. Umm, that if if in 35 years, were half as happy as you guys are, well count ourselves the luckiest people in the world.
Chandler: Y'know what, I can handle it, handles my middle name. Actually its the ah, middle part of my first name.
ROSS: No. Look, I told you I am not a part of this thing.
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
Joey: I don't know, but one of the extras sure did! (pause) Hey, listen Rach. Thanks again for coming down to watch my scenes!
Mike: She could have been talking about either one of us.
All: Yeah. Yeah, I'll have a cup of coffee.
Chandler: Of course it was!
Monica: Well, if you're gonna be totally rational about this, I can't argue with you! All right? Fine, if you wanna tell him, tell him. I just don't want to be a part of it.
Rachel: Ross, c'mon, please. Can we just get out of here, before somebody else gets hurt?
Phoebe: Well, we just decided that Rachel is gonna be your maid of honor.
Phoebe: (Lightly) Oh! It ended okay. One of my friends shot him.
Katie: Aww, like I could hurt you. Are you making fun of my size? Don't make fun of me because of my size! (She punches him again and almost knocks him off the arm of the couch.)
The Interviewer: Great! Well, it was nice meeting all of you.
ROSS: No. Man I don't wanna have to have Joey with me every time I wanna descent cup of coffee. Ya know, and I don't wanna spend the rest of my life drinking cappucino with a 'K'. I say you and I go back down there and stand up to those guys.
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Monica: Name one of his books.
Joey: Oh thanks. Thanks. It was great meetin ya. And listen if any of my friends gets married, or have a birthday, or a Tuesday
Rachel: Hey-hey, yknow what? I dont care! Im not ashamed of my book. Theres nothing with a woman enjoying a little erotica. Its just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. (She goes into her room.)
Charlie: Actually I did it Ross. You remembered shockingly little of your own speech.
(there's a lot of shouting and yelling)
Monica: Hi. About last night... I know you are under a lot of stress and even though the things you said hurt me a little bit... My point is, uh, well, I'm willing to take my job back.
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is showing pictures of his new baby boy, Ben, to the group.]
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
Ross: So, this must be kinda neat for ya, huh? I mean, your Dad tells me that you get a couple of days off school, and you, you ah, dont have to sell those cookies anymore.
(Rachel comes out of her apartment}
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, its the set of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. The producer is showing Joey around the set.]
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Chandler: Please let me stay on this side of the door.
Monica: The three of us?
Ross: Look at me! (Chandler squeaks in an attempt not to make fun of him.)
Charlie: Oh, this is such a cute picture of Emma. And is this your son... or just some kid whose picture you bring on vacation?
Ross: (laughing) Ohh. (Phoebe takes a couple of steps to the door and Ross quickly hurries out.)
Joey: Oh, name one friend of yours that I did that with.
Rachel: Ah yes, but hes very protective of me so youd better watch yourself.
Ross: Yeah, and I'm responsible for just like half of that.
(She squirts some of the grease along Joey's face.)
(Rachel arrives with a lot of clothes)
Chandler: You know what just occurred to me? This could be our last Thanksgiving just the two of us. I mean, we could be getting a baby soon!
Chandler: You should be. You’re really on top of stuff..
Monica: All right, that's a little sketch of the cake, umm some sample menus, umm y'know what I thought we would start out with Tuscan style finger food, and for music, here's an alphabetized list of all my CDs! I've highlighted the ones that would go really good with the food.
Rachel: Oh! Really? Do you wanna try some of them on for me?
Chandler: What do you want from me, Ive never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, Im sorry you cant stay, (Rachel is upset about leaving the orgy with the cigarette guy.) but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. (The cigarette guy starts rubbing Chandlers back.) What are you doing? (The guy just nods) All right, listen, Ive got to wake up!
Agency guy: Yes, our system assures total anonimity. We’re very proud of it.
Phoebe: Okay, is this the day of good news or what? I got us a job! The wedding reception.
Joey: I don't like it when people take food off of my plate, okay?
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
Paul: (barely glancing at her) No. What ever happened to that little dude. (Pause) So full of dreams
Ross: (trying to act manly in front of Janine) No I dont want to play video games, Joey!
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
Monica: Oh please! Dad turned my room into a gym 20 minutes after I moved out! I gotta say, a tanning bed and a stack of Victorias Secret catalogues, not a gym!
Ross: Well, looks like it's just the two of us tonight, huh old buddy?
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are sharing a bowl of popcorn, while Monica carefully reads the instruction manual for her television set.]
Rachel: You gotta see these latest pictures of Emma.
Dr. Leedbetter: Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away.
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But its actually for Joshua. (Starts handing out party hats.) Look, he said hes not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! (Hands Ross a party hat.)
Monica: So? What do you think of the house?