words in movies
Ross: Sure, I mean, do I wish me and Rachel living together would have worked out? Of course. You know, I'm disappointed, but it's not like it's a divorce.
Joey: Sure, I know lots of girls.
Joey: Yes, and they should name one of their kids Joey. I may not have kids; someone's gotta carry on the family name.
Phoebe: Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh." (A maniacal laugh follows.)
(He looks at his bedroom door, but he can't remember the name of the girl.)
(He does the ancient trick of going downstairs while behind the couch. As soon as he's out of sight, Emma starts crying.)
(She runs to the bathroom, while Chandler starts acting like a chicken in front of Emma. Emma is silent, however.)
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
Chandler: Oh, good, because as of four o'clock this afternoon, I am not.
Chandler: Because of Emma.
Monica: Unless... Maybe we do it here. I mean, how much can she even be aware of at this age?
Chandler: Well, I can't say "hump" or "screw" in front of the B-A-B-Y.
Monica: I don't know. I mean, I guess having sex in front of a baby isn't so...
Monica: But what kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer?
Steve: I'm kind of funny looking.
Steve: Oh, come on, you're way out of my league. Everybody in here knows it. Bet that guy over there's probably saying, "ooh, why she out with him? He must be rich!" Well, I'm not!
Phoebe: You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.
Phoebe: By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico. (BEAT) Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.
Joey: You can't have S-E-X, when you're taking care of the B-A-B-I-E!
Waiter: Just get out of here, okay?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're done and come out of their bedroom. Emma is still gone.]
Chandler: You may wanna get some more of those too.
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Rachel and Steve are walking home from their date. Steve is sobbing.]
Steve (sobbing): I - I can't believe I�m crying in front of you. You must think I'm so pathetic.
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Steve and Rachel are still there.]
Rachel: Oh, well, I...It's kind of weird talking to you about this, but...
CHANDLER: Could you get us a couple of beers?
Ross: Oh, I-I don't know, it's kind of expensive for a studio.
Joey: Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
Monica: (thinks about it) All right, but if-if he lights someone else on fire he is out of there!
Monica: Yknow dad, Chandler is one of Rosss very best friends!
Ross: No, of course not! (Thinks) ...Yeah, yeah, it is.
Ross: Apparently, Stings son made fun of the fact that Bens moms are lesbinims.
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
Joey: Nice going. You just saved yourself a couple months of sex.
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
[Scene: The lobby of Ross's building, he's sitting on the couch at the bottom of the stairs, and he's practicing enticing women to join him on the couch.]
Ross: I don't know, but I.. Look, even if she shoots me down, at least I won't spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened. Where - where is my coat?!
Ross first has a look of 'huh' then changes it to sarcastic happy: Thank you Amy.
Chandler: Huh. Did, uh... any of the rest of you guys think that when you first met me?
Rachel: Yes, okay, oh, by the way, I just gotta say, I think it's really nice of you that even after you've moved, you still keep storing that stuff for Joey!
MRS GREEN: I guess I just figured of all people you would understand this.
Rachel: Hey! Yknow, sometimes you can do everything right, everyone can wear everything theyre supposed to wear, and one of those little guys just gets through!
Rachel: I didnt uh, really have time to read this part of the books, but do you think we have time to
Ross: Well uh, yknow what? Even if she doesnt know anything, I do! I have a son. And his mother and I didnt live together, and whenever he was with me I took care of him all the time, by myself.
Joshua: Yeah! I mean youre-youre beautiful and smart and sophisticateda lot of this isnt based on tonight.
Rachel: (To Monica, Chandler and Phoebe) Can any of you watch Emma?
Chandler: (comes out of the bathroom) Here I am.
Chandler: Well yeah! But now that I know that youre having these thoughts, Im back to panic, anxiety, and uh Im definitely gonna need some kind of sports drink.
Rachel: Everybody? Shh, shhh. Uhhh... Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: Well, it helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am definitely not.
Ross: I can't believe this, she's our daughter! That you would treat her like some kind of showdog is inexcusable!
Phoebe: So wow, it looks like you took care of everything. Thanks a lot, co-host.
Chandler: Hey Joe! We've got a couple of things we've got to check out at the new house. You want to come with us?
David: She's also a scientist, so she's very smart and pretty and... well, it's actually because of you, really, that we're together, I mean, I saw what you had with that Mike guy, and I just said "Boy, I want that".
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
ESTELLE: Joey, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Al Minser and his pyramid of dogs. Take any job you can get and don't make on the floor.
David: The good thing about the young kids though, theyre completely unpredictable. Which is a lot of fun as an actor to respond with. But there was one story
Chandler: Why dont you go up on stage. Ill get a picture of you doing the speech.
Rachel: No! Forget it! I am not gonna ask Frank to give you one of his kids!!
Chandler: Oh, well, ah... maybe thats because theyre ah... jealous, of us.
CHAN: And weenie number two has it. Unless, of course, nine-down, Knights in White Satin was sung by the Doody Blues.
Joey: You guys have one of those signs that says: 'We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool.', you know.
Phoebe: Well, why did you make like a whole big thing out of y'know, everyone has to hang out in the big apartment?
Joey: Man, if anyone asked me to give up any of you, I couldn't do it.
PHOEBE: Oh, ooh, Soap Opera Digest, oh that's one of my favorite digests.
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Mrs. Burkart: (singing) ...emblem of the land I love. The home of....
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Chandler: Quick! What time is it?! (Holds his watch in front of her face.)
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
Phoebe: Why dont take care of this one, and should I get pregnant again, Ill hold onto your card, okay?
Charlie: Actually, it turned out to be a lot of fun!
Phoebe: How are you? (The woman nods) Good. (She goes over to another couple of women.) Hi, thanks for coming.
Phoebe: Uh, well I can tell you why. Its, its because of me. But, y'know what, I only did it because I love you. Okay?
Ross: Yeah! I dont know. I mean, last year Elizabeth now-now this kid. What-what-what-what is it?! Am I giving out some kind of sexy professor vibe? (Rachel and Joey both look at him.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is looking at an uncertain future.]
(Chandler walks into the living room, and sees all of Joeys sisters, all wearing red.)
Amy: Yeah! Hey, sure! The "Days of Our Lives" guy!
(Joey leaves. Rachel gulps down what's left of her drink and grimaces.)
Joey: Of course it's true! How else would you explain all the weird stuff that's been going on?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is looking at the screen of his laptop, shaking his head.]
Phoebe: Well speaking of chiming in, remember the time you burned down my apartment?
Ross: Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs?
(Walks out and after he closes the door Phoebe turns around and takes a bite out of what is left of his candy bar.)
Phoebe: Y'know what you should send him? A cartoon of cigarettes. 'Cause that why he could trade it for protection. No. That's prison.
Rachel: Ohh! And Im one of them!! Wow! Oh, I just cannot believe this! I mean, Joey Tribbiani!
Joey: Oh, thats, thats ah, one of the old ones, hes just taking it to the back.
Paul: Joey! (Goes over and hugs Joey and picks him off of his feet.)
Chandler: But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
Chandler: Okay, now will you guys get out of here? I want this is to be a surprise and shes gonna know.
Monica: I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)
Phoebe: OK so isn't there a little part of you that wants to get up there?
Mona: How could you have kept all of this from me?
Joey: I want you to take this seriously! Phoebe is very very important to me, ok? And I wanna make sure that you are gonna take care of her.
Chandler: Im not freaking out. Why would I be freaking out? A woman named Heldi called and said we were getting married, but that happens everyday. (Does one of those Chandler noises.)
The Cute Guy: Wow! Uh, this is kind of embarrassing. I was actually coming over to talk to your friend.
CHANDLER: No, look, that's it, it's over, I want you out, I want you out of the apartment now.
SUSIE: It looks like one of her eyebrows fell down. Now unless someone convinces her to let me bleach it, Jean-Claude Van Damme is gonna be making out with Gabe Kaplan.
Joey: Oh, it was a lot of fun right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye!
JOEY: Oh come on. Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other and I wanna know which.
Phoebe: Hi, yeah, hi! I'm umm, Phoebe Buffay, and I have babies coming out of me.
Rachel: Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me...
Phoebe: Okay fine! Fine! Well just have to think of some other way to put the whole Who came onto who, thing to rest! Come on now, think!!
Monica: So! So we've got to go upstairs and have a lot of sex to prove them wrong!
Jill: So who made her queen of the world?
Joey: Hey! (Monica turns and looks at him) Now Im a man of the cloth, but I still have feelings!
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
Monica: Well, of course I do. What's not to like! I'll take her in a minute! But, you know, I think that you're giving up too easy, honey. I think that you need to fight for her!
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass!
Paul: Ooh, steer clear of you.
[Scene: Chandler arrives home and Monica's got a video of Sharks ready for Chandler.]
MONICA: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. [she puts her arm around Richard]
Dr. Biely: Primarily in the Pierre Shale region of South Dakota.
(Phoebe then gets possessed 'cause she starts speaking in tongues. She speaks Italian to Joey's grandmother. She is quickly exorcised and returns to speaking in English. Of course, too most people English is a strange language as well. But none of them are probably reading this and if they were they wouldn't understand it. So why am I talking about them? I have absolutely no clue. Moving on )
Joey: All rightoh! Listen, I know this is your party, but Id really like to the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there.
[Cut to Rachel staring out of her window.]
Janice: What, you can do it in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, but you can't do it at a doctor's office?
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Roy: Ok, ok, ladies! Can I have your attention, please? (pause) Did someone call for the long arm of the law? (He extends his arm from around his crotch and then upward and outward, towards Phoebe) I should warn you, I have a concealed weapon! (Puts his hands over his crotch) I hope you're familiar with the States penal code, ok, ok, enough teasing. Now for some pleasing!
Mr. Posner: Yes, thats very good. Now a uh, big part of this job is cultivating personal relationships, especially with designers.
Rachel: What? Maybe I put it in here (she opens her bag). Oh, oh, it's not in there! Oh, no! I must have packed it in one of these boxes!
Rachel: I'm gonna go get one of those (Thinks) job things.
Chandler: Ah. Your own brand of vigilante justice.