words in movies
Rachel: Do you have anything that would... get us out of them?
Chandler: Yeah Ross, I mean... we're excited to hear the speech but the rest of the time we're gonna wanna do, you know, "island's stuff".
Joey: All right, let's do it! 5 hour flight with Charlie, have a couple of drinks, get under that blanket and do what comes naturally.
Ross: It's a blanket Joe, not a cloak of invisibility!
Joey: No, God, no! No! No no, I'm an actor. You'd probably recognize me from a little show called "The Days of Our Lives".
Ross: Dude, it's just "Days of Our Lives"... there's no the.
David: Oh, certainly. That's a combination of Bernoulli's principle and Newton's third law of motion.
Monica: (pinching her) Let's get you out of here!! (they go outside)
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
Joey: Yeah, yeah. I've got tons of stuff I could do. I'm gonna hit the beach, go swimming...
Monica: Ok, I'm sensing that this is some kind of word play, because you are pink with barely controlled glee.
Monica: Chandler, we have talked about this. You are not supposed to give people advice! Now couldn't you just have made some sort of inappropriate joke?
David: Yeah, well, being a failed scientist doesn't pay quite as well as you might think. That's uhm... one seventieth of a karat. And the clarity is uhm... is quite poor.
Charlie: It's great. You're gonna be the hit of the conference.
Chandler: Nude... (Ross looks at him)... pictures of Anna Kournikova. I'm so sorry.
Ross: Yeah, well you should! I mean, nude pictures of Anna Kournikova? I mean, she's never even won a major tournament!
Ross: I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow! Ok? I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say?
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you.
[Scene: The hall, full of paleontologists. Rachel and Joey are walking around]
Charlie: Actually I did it Ross. You remembered shockingly little of your own speech.
Ross: Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace.
Charlie: Oh, this is such a cute picture of Emma. And is this your son... or just some kid whose picture you bring on vacation?
Ross: And then, you try to make the best of a bad situation, so you float the idea of a threesome?
[Scene: the Pharmacist convention. Joey and Rachel are walking out of it, drinking cocktails]
Joey: Right, of course. Hey, did you guys finish the speech?
David: Uh, Phoebe, uh... (Chandler hits his own head) you're an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was, was unbearable. Of course the sanitation strikes in Minsk didn't help!
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
David: Kinda stepped on the toes of what I was going to say.
Monica: (to everybody) BECAUSE OF OUR MEDDLING! Alright?
Ross: Then we have to await the data from recent MRI scans and DNA testing which call into question information gathered from years of simple carbon dating.
Ross: Finally, factoring the profusion of new species recently discovered: Gigantosaurus, Argentinasaurus...
Ross: ... and while there are certainly vast differences between these Mesozoic fossiles and the example of Homo erectus...
(Everybody stands up and applauds. Ross looks flattered and surprised. His friends and other members of the audience go to congratulate him)
(Ross is dumbfounded to see Mike instead of David)
(They approach the buffet, where a couple of paleontologists are sipping their drinks)
(Joey is sitting in an armchair and wearing a diving mask. He pulls out a grape from a bunch of fake grapes on the coffee table, puts it on the snorkel's breathing tube and blows it out, then giggles to himself)
Charlie: Actually, it turned out to be a lot of fun!
(There's an awkward moment of silence)
[Scene: the hotel game room. There is a ping pong table in the middle of the room. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in]
Chandler: (nearly whispering) Oh dear God, there's two of them!
Monica: (going through her pockets) No... (to Chandler and Phoebe) Either of you girls got a quarter?
(Joey walks out, while Rachel is pensive. Once he's out of her room, he suddenly realizes who she was talking about and goes back in. He looks at her in disbelief and she looks like she was caught red-handed)
Rachel: Oh yes, of course, I remember him!
Chandler: Okay-dokay, you've each won a game and I've lost what's felt like a year of my life. So everybody goes home a winner.
Monica: Best out of three?
Paleontologist: (merrily) Ok Geller. Last day of the conference, you know what happens to the keynote speaker.
Ross: Oh, professor Clerk we're kind of in the middle of a conversation, here.
Mike: Oh, that's ok. I don't care which of them I beat.
Charlie: Hum, so, I started to say you something earlier, hum... (pause) There was another reason I realized it was time to end it with Joey. I kind of realized I... was starting to have feelings... for someone else.
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
Rachel: And uh, yeah, I didnt really, I didnt want to say anything, but it kinda it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then (Ross joins in) to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess.
Chandler: Well, maybe since the age of 9, Frannies made some new friends.
Chandler: Listen, if you want to borrow money, its kind of a bad time. Im buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.
Ross: Well each tell you how we came up with the joke and then you decide which one of us is telling the truthme.
Rachel: Well, so then what are you doing to me? Okay? Just get out of here! All right? Move on!
The Teacher: Are you with one of the students?
The Teacher: Are you one of Bens mothers?
Chandler: Well, she probably wasnt familiar with the process having spent most of her life sitting for oil paintings!
Joey: We've only been going out for a couple of weeks, do you think I gotta get her something?
Dedicated to the Memory of Richard L. Cox, Sr.
Rachel: Ohh, theres a picture of her in the yearbook actually.
MRS BUFFAY: Yeah well, thanks for bringing back what's left of him.
Monica: Look! (She puts a big, yellow pair of sunglasses on the bird.)
Phoebe: Wait a second! This is about the fourth month of your pregnancy, right?
Ross: Department of Sanitation?
Monica: I cant think of anything were doing. (Quietly) Why cant I think of anything were doing?
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well Richard raved about the food at his party, of course you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice, I assume you werent sleeping with anybody there. Though, at least that would be something. (Leaves)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's trying to teach Joey French, so she's sitting in front of him with the script in her hands.]
Rachel: Okay get your coat! (They get their coats and start to leave. Rachel suddenly stops and sticks the hand up the back of her shirt.) Oh! When did you unhook this? (Her bra.) Nice work!
Phoebe: Yeah, you've... you know, sort of been like a dad to me. I mean, you've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your wisdom...
Mike: Wanna get out of here?
Doug: So why cant the three of us go out together?
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
Frank: Wait, y'know what, I-I came to you because I thought youd understand! Oh no!! Y'know, I would storm out of here right now if-if I had some money, or a place to go
Phoebe: Okay. (The gang is giggles then Phoebe gets the bike out of the rack, gets on, pushes off, rolls a few feet, and falls over.) See?
Joey: I bet we could get videos of all the sites, get a VCR in our hotel room... we'd never even have to go outside!
Rachel: Thats the end of this conversation!
Ross: Well, I have a PhD, so... (assistant walk out, not impressed by this statement) (Ross takes his bathrobe off and he enters the tanning booth. He stands up in front of the red light and the sprayer starts and sprays his face and torso)
Rachel: Oh! Did you hear that?! My dads proud of me! My dads proud of me.
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Rachel: Its still(Screams)Its got a tail! Get it out of here! Get it out of here!!
Monica: Well I-I really dont remember the name of it.
Rachel: They made you head of the department!
Ross: Yes. I find it to be something of a conversation piece.
Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!!
Joey: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet its way better than that classic of yours.
Joey: Ah Hey, so this roommate of yours is he good looking?
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Joey: Oh yeah, it must be tough to keep your hands of him, huh?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is holding a football helmet; and apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat him senseless. (Luckily it isnt a long trip.) Because hes made a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of all those free surgeries he can get now since hes re-established his health insurance.]
Joey: Alright, so so tell me one of your moves.
Chandler: That was an obvious joke, and I didnt think of it. Why didnt I think of it? The source of all my powers. Oh dear God, what have I done!
Rachel: No, of course, of course Ive heard of them! Ross, what did you get?
Phoebe: Okay, (starts to pack up her stuff) fine. Come dinosaur, were not welcome in the house of no imagination.
Kim: Forget it Rachel! We're both so proud of how well you're doing. I'm not gonna let you blow it. In fact, if I catch you with a cigarette, you're fired. So go on, get out of here! Go on, I don't want you breathing this stuff! Go on!
Joey: Just casually slip it in, yknow lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, Im a lonerNo! An outlaw! Tell her she doesnt want to get mixed up with the likes of me.
Rachel: No one! They are my friends, I wouldnt punch any of them.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there as someones cell phone starts to ring with one of those fancy ring tones.]
CHANDLER: Why yes Ross, pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia.
Rachel: So tell me, what are Joey Tribbianis end of the night moves?
Monica: No, I think we should save our china for something really special. Like if the Queen of England comes over.
Rachel: Oh. Do you want to watch the rest of the movie with me?
Joey: Oh sure, yeah, why not? (Sits on the arm of the chair.)
ROSS: It wasn't so much a party as...a gathering of people, with food, and music, and, and the band.
Monica: Anyway, it just doesnt seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. Okay? Its a lot of work.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is sitting on the couch watching TV as Monica comes out of the bathroom.]
(They try to stop him, not sure of what he's planning. He ignores them and goes to talk to Ross.)
Phoebe: Hey, are you going to find out the sex of the baby?
Phoebe: Wow! Nice! Manly and also kind of a slut.
Chandler: Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives?
Stu: So, tonights the night of the big bachelor party?
Joey: Hey Ross, this is one of my co-stars, Dirk. (To Dirk) Dirk, this is my good friend Ross. (Ross and Dirk shake hands)
Ross: (chases her) Oh yeah, yeah? Well uh, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines! (Realizes a table of women overheard him.) (To that table.) Sup?
Rachel: And Im Rachel, an admirer of the building.
Joey: I wish. No. After dinner, me, her, and Pepper all fell asleep in front of the fire. Well I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw that the fire was dying out. So, I picked up a log and threw it on. Or, at least what I thought was a log.
Rachel: Really?! You think so? Yknow, I had just rolled out of bed.
Phoebe: Ohh, Im getting too pregnant for this, lugging around a stupid massage table. Yknow, I have to find a job where I carrying a smaller table. (She goes over and stands in front of the TV.)
Joey: I guess I'm going to have to come up with a really good reason why I wasn't there. The producers are going to be so mad at me. They sat us all down yesterday and said "Everyone has to be there at 6:00 AM sharp, that means you Tribbiani." Like.. like I was some kind of idiot.
Ross: No, I mean its okay, I mean, theyre-theyre my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them.
Phoebe: (after he's gone) I am so sorry you got caught in the middle of that. I didn't mean to be so out there. I am furious with him!
Ross: All right, it's time for the story of Hanukkah. Years and years ago, there were these people called the Maccabees.
[Cut to the hallway, Chandler is putting tape on the bottom of his shoes.]
Ross: (tries to snatch it from the kid) GIVE ME MY PUCK!! (but it files out of his grasp and knocks out the receptionist)
Ross: A lot of people are thankful for those. < knock on door>
CHANDLER: Well, ye, yes, actually, but, uh, they were my Aunt Edna's, and there were three of us in there.
Ross: Hey where-where are the pictures that creepy pretzel vendor took of us together?
Melanie: I don't know, I-I guess I just had you pegged as one of those guys who're always 'me, me, me.' But you... you're a giver. You're like the most generous man I ever met. I mean... you're practically a woman.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay. Hey, wait. Do you know what kind of birth control she was using?
CHANDLER: I'm hoping that when Bob doesn't show up, she will seek comfort in the open arms of the wry stranger at the next table.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler enters with a bouquet of roses.]
MONICA: With that moustache doesn't Chandler remind you of Aunt Sylvia?
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler are there. They have lots of brochures about adoption in front of them.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is eating breakfast as Chandler comes out of his bedroom, ripping his coat in the process.]
<Ross comes out of the bedrooms>
Monica: Shes right of course not. Honey, get the tape.
Ross: Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I dont know any of it and Im the father. I wish Id be more involved yknow.
Ross with a look of wondering how long this is going to go on on his face: Still me.
(Elizabeth leaves and Ross starts to remove his clothing right there in the middle of the living room where someone can see him. Of course, someone almost does, but he hears a door opening and )
Joey: Sort of.
Ross: Y'know, we work in a museum of natural history, and yet there is something unnatural about the way we eat lunch. Now, I look around this cafeteria, and yknow what I see, I see-I see division. Division, between people in white coats and people in blue blazers, and I ask myself, "My God why?!" Now, I say we shed these-these coats that separate us, and we get to know the people underneath. (He takes off his coat and throws it down.) Im Ross! Im divorced, and I have a kid!
[Scene: Ross and Rachels. Rachel is standing in front of the TV holding a video.]
Monica: Oh, well... um, that's all there are of these. But in about eight and a half minutes, we'll be serving some delicious onion tartlets.
(Music starts playing yes you know what kind of music )
Phoebe: Here, Monica, look what I got to wear when I play at the restaurant (she dons a top hat) uh, huh wait! (she raises a pair of spectacles to her eyes) Right? I mean, this might even class up the ballad of the uncircumcised man.
Rachel: Of course, of course.
Ross: No-no! Ill-Ill (He takes too much and some falls out of his mouth, which starts him laughing.)
Monica: Remember that guy that gave me a bad review? Well (Feeds him a spoonful of what shes cooking.) Im getting my revenge!
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
Joeys Sisters: (entering) Joey!!! Happy Birthday!! (all 7 of them look almost identical)
Chandler: I'll tell you what, for the rest of our lives, I'll be careful until told otherwise. <looks at china> hey wait a minute this isn't the china we picked out..