words in movies
Joey: Just casually slip it in, yknow lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, Im a lonerNo! An outlaw! Tell her she doesnt want to get mixed up with the likes of me.
(An old woman pushes a cart full of books past.)
(They go around the last row of bookshelves and find a couple doing what college coeds do in secluded corners of university libraries. For those of you who dont know what Im talking about, lets just say that clothing is undone. Ross gasps and the couple gets up and runs away.)
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is cooking as a waitress enters carrying a plate of food that has been sent back.]
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
Monica: (to the lobster) Lucky bastard! (Throws the lobster in and turns around to face the planets most annoying woman, next to Dr. Laura and Kathy Lee Gifford of course. Shes the most annoying female TV character however.) Janice.
Ross: People are doing it in front of my book!
Ross: My doctoral dissertation is in the library at school, I went to see it, and there were students makin babies right in the middle of the Paleontology section!
Rachel: Yeah, there was. It wasthere the corner of the library where-where all these dusty books that nobody ever readYes, there was.
Ross: Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it.
The Head Librarian: We are aware of the problem you are referring too. (He turns to look at the previous librarian.) But as far as increasing security, Im afraid the library is very understaffed. I, I cant help you.
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
Joey: Yeah that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if were ever to have kids, well thats a
Janice: Oh wait you two think of me as family?! Oh, I have to ask you something now and be honest; do you want me to sing Careless Whisper or Lady In Red?
Joey: What about Game 1 of the Series?
Phoebe: Yeah, you mean like that youre kind of a loner.
Phoebe: Oh well, I guess Italian isnt one of the four languages you speak.
Ross: Ah Ah Get out of here! (The couple retreats. Ross starts looking through the previously mentioned book as a beautiful woman walks into the section.) Uh, meeting someone? Or-or are you just here to brush up on Marions views on evolution?
Woman: Ross Geller, why do I know that name? Its uhWait! (Grabs his book off of the shelf.) Did you write this?
[Time Lapse, Ross and the woman are now in a state of partial undress and are standing in front of the head librarian with two security guards watching them.]
Joey: Oh, it was great! I mean we walked all around the village. We went to this ice cream place, split a milkshake, 70/30 but still And guess what, Im thinking about taking her upstate to one of those bed and breakfasts.
Janice: Well umm, I thought I was going to go back to my apartment but then I just felt I couldnt really be alone tonight. (Joey walks into view of the open door behind Janice, sees her, gets a terrified look on his face, and flees in horror.) I was wondering if I could maybe stay here with you, just I really feel that I need to be with family.
Janice: Hey you guys, umm do either one of you want to get in there before I take my bath.
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
[Scene: The librarys Paleontology section, Ross is on patrol and stops a security guard through the stack of books.]
Phoebe: Oh, Im Phoebe Buffay. Im one of Rosss best friends.
PHOE: Ok, all right, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like, was it like a soft brush against your lips? Or was it like a, you know, a "I gotta have you now" kind of thing?
[Scene: Central Perk. Everybody's sitting on the couch and Monica is eating a chunk of cake.]
Ross: When you put a D at the end of Fine youre not fine.
Phoebe: Of course, yeah!
Rachel: Y'know what Ross? You're not going anywhere. You're gonna sit right here. I'm gonna make you a cup of tea and we're gonna talk this thing whole out. All right? (She goes out to talk to Dave) Hey, Dave!
Phoebe: Yeah, you never heard of them?
(As Phoebe stands there in shock and disbelief, Chandler comes out of the bathroom and walks to his bedroom. Hes just got out of the shower and has the towel wrapped around himself high across his chest, and another towel wrapped around his head, like women wear towels. Joey watches Chandler wondering what the hell hes doing.)
Joey: Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!
Joey: I was uh, I was thinking I might want to pick one of those babies up for myself, I might want to get one of those
Chandler: Oh, I'm sorry, am I getting in the way of all the room switching fun?
CHANDLER: [running out of his apartment after a girl] Ok, ok, you can be shirts and I'll be skins. I'll be skins. [sits down beside Rachel] Hey, how you holdin' up there, tiger? Oh, sorry, when my parents were getting divorced I got a lot of tigers. Got a lot of champs, chiefs, sports, I even got a governor.
Rachel: Okay, hold on just a second. (She grabs a camera out of the desk and takes his picture.) Im sorry, its for human resources, everybody has to do it. Could you just stand up please?
Steve: Like 'em? I could eat a hundred of them!
Monica: All right, come here! (She gets up and drags Rachel off of the couch by her legs.)
Rachel: Joey, Emma's right here! You promised not to bring girls home in the middle of the day anymore.
Monica: Yeah, me too! (Runs and grabs her 3-ring binder of ideas.)
Joey: Sort of
MONICA: I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain.
Chandler: No. No, see when I first meet somebody its uh its mostly panic, anxiety, and a great deal of sweating.
Rachel: I'd say from the looks of it; our naked buddy is moving.
Monica: All right, Im gonna go steam my wedding dress okay? Who wants the responsibility of making sure nothing happens to it?
Joey: Hello New York! (The woman bats his hand out of the way.)
[They gang all lean back to listen better, and this starts another series of flashbacks. The first one is from Episode 214: The One With The Prom Video, Rachel has just found the bracelet that Joey gave Chandler, which is after he bought one to replace it.]
Monica: You wanna finish this right now? All right, we get a deck of cards, high card wins. What do you say?
Ross: So, you gals wanna hand over your money now? That way, we don't have to go through the formality of actually playing.
Rachel: Ohh, of course Monicas brother!
Cassie: (hugs him) Its been so long! Last time I saw you, you were setting up your tent in line to see Return of the Jedi.
(They walk into a completely redecorated and repainted room. And of course, the room is immaculate. Only an obsessive-compulsive like Monica could find fault with the room.)
Rachel: Ohh, so do you! Did you lose weight? (Shes not quite sure of that one.)
Joey: I mean, the jobs easy and the moneys good, you know? I guess Im going to be hanging out here anyway. I might as well get paid for it, right? I just feel kind of weird serving you guys.
RTST: Well, anyhoo, um, we are looking for a couple of chefs who can create some Thanksgiving-themed recipes. You think you might be interested?
Phoebe: (jumps in front of Rachel) Hi! Oh yeah, uh-huh, it's me. I saw you grab your running shoes this morning and sneak out. You lied so you could run by yourself.
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Ross: Kay, first of all, this attitude is not helping.
Chandler: Yes, it does bother me! And I think it would bother a lot of people. Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?
Phoebe: Because you are so afraid of commitment! You talk to him, make him scared like you! Make him a man!
Rachel: Ross, I didn't think it would that big of a deal.
Dick Clark: (on TV) Hi, this is Dick Clark, live in Times Square. We're in a virtual snowstorm of confetti here in Times Square...
Monica: Phoebe, why is smoke coming out of the bathroom?!
Monica: We do not have one of those signs.
Joey: I know, and only one layer of jam?! What is up with that?
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
The Teacher: Well, that's sort of a given, but yes. Anyone else?
Rachel: Hey, thanks Ross, for taking care of all of this.
JOEY: Oh we're not out. No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys, hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doin' the usual straight guy stuff.
Joey: (not quite sure of how to answer that) Well uh, look Ross I uh, I think Carols great and Im sure youre a very attractive man, but I .
Emily: I love both of you!
Joey: But you got to be with both of them, right?
CHANDLER: So I got ya something. [tosses Joey a bag of plastic spoons]
Ross: Oh I a lot of stuff!
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. (sees Kate is watching, he turns Lauren so that he can talk directly to Kate, but still look like he is talking to Lauren) Listen, I ah, I gotta say good bye, and-and I gotta say it quick cause this is killing me. One thing you gotta know, is that I will never forget you. But, youve got things you have to do now, and so do I. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne, baby, Im gonna want to meet her.
JOEY: [sings] It may not be a bed of roses.
PHOEBE: No, it's just like, ya know, it's a whole mess of stuff, ya know. It's like, yesterday, ya know, my dad was this, like, famous Burma tree surgeon guy and, ya know, now he's a, a pharmacist guy and. . .
(Joey sticks his head out of the shower curtain.)
I made a man with eyes of coal And a smile so bewitchin', How was I supposed to know That my mom was dead in the kitchen? (shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...
Phoebe: Yeah well, that's 'cause Monica put me in charge of cups and ice, and Monica is gonna rue the day that she put me in charge of cups and ice.
JOEY: No, as part of the audition. See, I'm up for this part of this guy, who the main guy kisses.
Chandler: Oh thats great! Great! Thanks! But that dress I mean its like yuck! Its terrible! It makes me wanna just rip it right off of you!
Rachel: Oh my God! I was so afraid I wasn't gonna remember any of my high-school French, but I understood every word you just said!
Ross: Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.
Chandler: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away).
The Grip: These got left for ya. (He hands him a bunch of helium balloons.)
Joey: Takes it out of you? (Laughs.)
RACHEL: I can not believe I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200 people looking like something you drink when your nauseous.
Rachel: Isnt that a kind of sushi?
RACH: We went through a lot of wine tonight, you guys. [walks over to table, holding five empty wine bottles]
Chandler: Kind of? If you just kept this to yourself none of this would've happened.
Joey: Oh yeah! For every dollar Shutter Speed makes, one penny of it goes right in Joey's pocket.
Alice: (laughs) No. No. No. (Sits down.) Okay, now, see, I wanna name the girl baby Leslie, and Frank wants to name one of the boy babies Frank JR. JR.
Ross: No, I ran. It was really far, and when did people stop understanding the phrase, "Get the hell out of my way!"
(Her side of the tree looks a complete mess)
Phoebe: Yeah. (phone rings and Phoebe answers it) Hello. (listens) Oh my God, I totally forgot! (listens) Well cant someone else do it. (listens) But, I have company. (listens) Yeah, no look, thats all right Ill come in. (hangs up phone) Um, Frank, Im really sorry but I have to go to work. Its-its one of my regulars and hes insisting that I do um.
David: Daryl Hannah was the most beautiful woman that he'd ever seen in his life and I said yeah, I liked her in Splash, a lot, but not so much in- in Wall Street, I thought she had kind of a
Monica: Why are you reading this? You hate this kind of stuff.
(They both get out of bed and go get some cake.)
Monica: I gave you one job! (Starts to examin the lasagne through the bottom of the glass pan.)
Rachel: Oh, of course!
Chandler: I made a (Does one of those gibberish words.)
Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! Youre so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, cause you guys are perfect for each other. Yknow, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just it-it fits. Yknow? And you just know its gonna last forever.
Phoebe: (looking into the trash can) Sure. (Reaching into the trash can.) Do you need some floss? (Grabs a piece of it.)
Chandler: It doesn't matter. I just don't want to be one of those guys that's in his office until twelve o'clock at night worrying about the WENUS.
(Ross makes an "I was right, and you werent face." And Rachel does Rosss little Im-flicking-you-off-but-Im-not-giving-you-the-finger banging of the fists.)
Joey: But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? One kiss.
Rachel: (coming out of her bedroom with a necklace) Here it is! I love it. I wear it all the time.
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
Monica: (grabs a bag of those Styrofoam peanuts) Ill be coordinator! Oh my God! Im so sorry, I didnt get you anything! Okay, look everybody has to help! Okay? You can help, cant you Phoebe?
Joey: Oh, well think of it like this, when youre 90
Monica: Its Chandlers way of pretending he didnt take mime.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are plugging in a bunch of electronics.]
Chandler: You just thought of that in there?
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Rosss cookie.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is taking a jar of olives out of the fridge.]
Ross: Well, apparently not, and I cant just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!
Ross: Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! (He storms out.)
Mr. Treeger: What in the name of hell?
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Ross: Yknow what? I can easily get out of this, but there is a chance you can get very, very hurt!
Dina: And youre my big brother! I mean, youre my favorite guy in the whole world. Im not even scared to tell mom and dad. I was scared of telling you.
Rachel: Oh, well thank you for taking your tongue out of my sisters mouth long enough to tell me that.