words in movies
Ross: I...reorganized the fridge. See, bottom shelf: meats and dairy. (Theres nothing on the shelf.) Middle shelf: fruits and vegetables. (Theres one lone tomato.) And top shelf: expired products. (The shelf is jammed packed.)
Ross: Hey, I am not unemployed. Im on sabbatical!
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Joey: Ohh, no, no. Were not going to just sit. (Joey sits down and hits the speed dial button on the phone.) Shhh. (It begins to ring.)
Phoebe: (Excitedly) Yeah, I already have my bell and later on...I get my bucket.
Monica: Do you want to go out on a date with her?
Danny: (To Monica) On the date, I will be able to talk to her directly? (To Rachel) See ya Friday. (He walks out.)
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
Rachel: I just saw Danny getting on the subway with a girl and he had his arm around her.
Monica: Oh God, stop with the plan! So what, so what you saw him with a girl? Who cares?! That doesn't mean anything! Now look, you're going to go out on a date with Danny and you're going to be so charming he's gonna forget all about that stupid subway girl.
Rachel: She was kinda stupid. You're right. All right, I'm just gonna go on the date. I'm gonna go on the date. That is the new plan.
Monica: Come on, hurry!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is trying to write his movie, Chandler is playing a game on the counter by trying to flip a ping pong ball with a spoon into a nearby bowl.]
Phoebe: Hey!! (The bucket starts smoking.) The charity's on fire! Help! (Yet another guy walks by carrying a cup, which Phoebe grabs.) Oh good! Thank you, I need that. (She throws onto the smoldering fire. Suddenly the bucket erupts in flames.) Whoa! What is that?! (She sniffs the cup.) (To the guy.) It's nine o'clock in the morning!
Ross: (To Chandler) And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. (To Joey) Now come on!
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
Danny: I'd love to ask you in, but uh, my sister's visiting and I think she's asleep on the couch.
Rachel: You're sister? You're sister's asleep on the couch? (Danny nods, "Yes.") Ohhh! I saw her with you on the subway and now she's asleep on the couch!
(He starts chasing her around Rachel a couple of times before she runs into the living room and he tackles her on the couch where he starts tickling her.)
Monica: Yeah, good for you. Y'know you're tough, you lived on the streets.
Rachel: Well, I met Danny's sister yesterday, and uh that was actually the girl on the subway.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is cleaning the foosball table, Joey is working on his script.]
Chandler: (entering from his bedroom) Guys, come on! Let's go! The puck drops in 20 minutes! Come on, Joe!
Ross: I am not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical!
Joey: Come on look guys, don't fight.
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Danny: Oh, damn! I got it on my pants.
Danny: Yep. (To Rachel) I'm gonna wear these on our date tonight.
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Phoebe: Whoa-whoa-whoa! No drinks near the bucket! Set it down over there and then you can make a contribution! (The guy starts to walk away with a hurt look on his face.) And you can leave the hurt bunny look over there too! (Her boss and a co-worker walk up.) Hi Bob! (The same old lady from before walks bye.) (To the old lady.) I thought I told you to get outta here!
[Scene: Danny's apartment, there's a knock on the door and he answers it.]
Rachel: Well, okay, look. I don't know, listen, I don't know what's going on here but let's
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
Monica: We were on the platform, ready to dance the world into the new Millennium, and the guy yelled CUT!
PHOEBE: And he's going to be paying this woman? Why doesn't he just give her like a throne, and a crown, and like a, you know, gold stick with a ball on top.
Joey: Hey! Whats going on?
Rachel: Come on, please?! Im boredddd! You let me do it once before.
Chandler: Well, its because I trust you, youre one of my best friends, and you walked in on me when I was looking at ring brochures.
(Chandler and Monica leave. Cut to Joey, watching the Knicks/Celtics game on television.)
Joey: Oh, you said it Mike. (Rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!
(Joey climbs up on the counter and starts looking at the top of the cabinets.)
Rachel: Oh, come on! This is crazy! Cant we just flip a coin?!
Doug: Bing! (Chandler stands bolt upright and turns around to face him.) Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. (He goes to slap his butt, but Chandler slides over making him miss.) Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. (Chandler goes over) Wham! (slaps him on the butt) Good one. That was a good one. (to a couple of Chandlers co-workers) Keep at it team. (goes into his office)
RACHEL: Ok, ok, so you're not a fan, but I mean, come on, you cannot do this to her.
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
Monica: (entering) Hey, whats going on?
Monica: I know!! (calls him) (on phone) Chip? Hi! Its Monica. (listens) Kay. (listens) Kay. (listens) Okay. (listens) Okay, good-bye. (hangs up) Oh my God, we just had the best conversation!! (goes into her room as Rachel enters)
Chandler: Come on! Why are we here?!
Joeys Date: Sorry about that, but I couldnt get that lock to work on the door.
RACHEL: What? Come on, it's not like I'm asking for this girly clock or anything, which, by the way, I also think is very cool.
Chandler: Were going to Everest! Okay, it would be nice to leave an ass print on Everest!
Monica: No. No. Not it. Not it. Not it. (Checks another rack and another woman tries to reach around her.) (To the woman) Dont crowd me! (Finds it) This is it! This is the dress! Oh my God, its perfect! (She takes it off of the rack and someone has a hold of it on the other side of the rack and tugs on it.) Im sorry, this ones taken! (The other woman tugs harder pulling Monica through the rack.) Whoa!
Gunther: (approaching with a tray with an order on it) Joey!
(Chandler turns on the TV and )
Bernice: (over intercom) Dr. Farber, we've got a bit of an emergency here...Jason Costalano is choking on his retainer.
Monica: Oh absolutely. I like it even more on you than I did on Colonel Sanders. (Ross starts to leave) Ross! Ross! Im kidding!
Joey: Yeah! Look! (He throws some of his spaghetti on the floor.)
Monica: What-what's the matter? Is there, is there something on my dress? (She turns around making sure he gets a good look.)
Dr. Long: Okay, everything looks good. Here it is on the screen. (We see Ross and Rachel looking at the screen.) Here is your uterus. And right here is your baby.
Monica: Absolutely! (He goes to kiss her, but she stops him and rubs his head and says...) Now get out of here you!! (Pete leaves) (to the gang) Okay, Im running out of places I can touch him! Look, is there something wrong with me? I mean why am I only attracted to guys where theres no future? Either theyre too old, or theyre too young, and then theres Pete whos-whos crazy about me, and whos absolutely perfect for me, and theres like zip going on! I mean, seriously, does it sound like somethings wrong with me?!
Monica: I know being spit on is probably not what you need right now. Um... how long?
Doug: Hey Bing! (Slaps him on his ass.) (Sees Monica) Wo-ho-ho, who's the pretty lady and what the hell is she doing with you?
Chandler: That was one of the worse things ever. And not just on TV.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Right down there. (Points.) Hey listen; let me give you a little tip. Do not take a nap on this stoop (Points to hers) or you can wake up with your shoes gone.
Joey: Whoa-whoa-hey-hey! (Motions to Chandler, "Whats going on?") Hi, Paul is it? (Paul nods yes and still hugging Joey.)
Rachel: Oh honey, come on, Im sorry, I didnt.... I dont mind paying my dues, y'know, its just how much am I gonna learn about fashion by walking Mira, the arthritic seamstress, to the bathroom.
Ross: You're on!
Ross: Well sorry, thats what I do on dates.
Monica: All right, listen up. There is usually only one dress in each size so when they open those doors, fan out. Now, this is what youre looking for! (Holds up a picture of it.) Memorize it! When you locate the dress, blow on these. All right? (She passes out whistles to them.) Three short blasts, when you hear it. Come running.
Ross: Okay. (goes over to the counter) (to Chandler) What ah, what is the matter with you? Whats going on?
Ross: You've really crossed the line here, but that's okay, it's ok 'cause I'm on my way to buy some Photoshop software and a stack of gay porn. That's right! Your coming out is about to get real graphic.
Phoebe: Wow! And Im a vegetarian! All right, all right, well Im sorry, well put some ice on it.
Monica: Phoebe, there's a dog sitting on my couch!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler is sleeping on the couch. Monica walks by and starts watching him.]
Monica: Hand me those tomatoes, Im gonna show you what it should taste like! Come on, hand me them.
(Theres a knock on the door and Ross enters.)
(Kathys co-star rips her blouse off and buttons go flying into the audience, and one hits Ross. Chandlers mouth is on the floor.)
Joey: Hey, dont start judging me! (To Rachel) Huh? Youre the one whos in love with her assistant! (To Phoebe) Huh? And you, youre the one having the affair with the guy who keeps the pigeons on the roof!
ROSS: Oh, you know, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna hang out, work on my music.
Ross: Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?
Phoebe: Yeah, but you kinda knew that something was going on, didn't you?
Joey: No, no, no, see that's why you have to do this job, agents always lie. You know, Estelle just says stuff like 'They went another way', but this, I can use this. (in a very bad Italian accent) I canna work on a new accent.
Joey: Wait-wait-wait-wait! (To Chandler) Come on! Come on, lets trade! The timings perfect, I just clogged the toilet!
Ross: Ooh, well. Ah, I kinda have got a lot on my plate right now, not that I wouldn't love a weekend in the country with a strange man. (Mr. Oberblau giggles)
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by carrying a lamp.]
Whitney: Im gonna work on that.
Rachel: Okay, well, that's one less thing we have to do on Monday.
Chandler: Yeah. (Throws the pad on the table and heads for the bedroom)
Ben: (on the bike) Im ready!
Rachel: (entering, angrily) Ugh, that was so embarrassing! I can't believe you let me go on and on like that!
Monica: Hello? (Listens) What?! (Listens) You what?! (Listens) Hey you listen here missy! (Listens) Wh(She is hung up on.)
Ross: Aww, Pheeb, come on isnt there any relative that would have the recipe? What about, what about your sister?
(Kathy leaves and Chandler groans in agony. Kathy knocks on the door and Chandler opens it.)
Monica: (turning a light on) Who is that?!
Monica: Joey, whats going on. What didnt you tell us you work here?
JOEY: Ah, I was just in the bathroom, and there's mirrors on both sides of you. So when you're in there it's like you're peein' with the Rockettes.
(Joey throws a punch and just lightly taps her on the shoulder, Phoebe counters with a jab to the nose.)
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
Rachel: Oh God, oh God, its sowed on though.
Joey: We don't? We really should. From now on, 'Bert' will be our code word for danger.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Actually, I was about to bid on this lovely trip to Paris.
CHANDLER: Yes, how 'bout a verse of Killing Me Softly. You're gonna sneeze on my fish, aren't you?
Joey: I just wanted to come by and yknow, wish you good luck on your date.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are there. Rachel is writing something on a pad, and then crumples it up and throws it on the floor.]
Monica: Yknow, in my defense, umm there was no glitter on the macaroni and very little glue.
Chandler: So youre just, kinda rubbing it on yourself?
-Cuts to Monica (She's just arrived outside his room she fixes a bent photo hanging on the wall then sprays mint in her mouth and enter)
Monica: You guys, I ordered some chocolate pies from that bakery on Bleecker. Could you pick them up for me?
Emily: All right, all right, if you insist on doing this, at least let me help you.
Rachel: Well if you go to Disneyland, you dont spend the whole day on the Materhorn.
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Monica and Phoebe sitting on the floor next to Clunkers basket.]
Lauren: I used to umm, schedule my classes so I could watch Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives.
Phoebe: Maybe on some level.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is eating cereal from a bowl she has balanced on her stomach as Joey, Chandler, and Monica return.]
ROSS: No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey.
JADE: Oh, you know, the usual, teaching aerobics, partying way too much. Oh, and in case you were wondering, those are my legs on the new James Bond poster.
Monica: Its gotta be one of a kind. Yknow like umm, yknow uh, whats that God awful ceramic fruit bowl she has on her counter?
Monica: Come on Ben.
Monica: Perhaps, you would like me to turn like this, (turns sideways on the couch) so that you can bunny bump against my back.
[Monica and Ben sit down on the couch.]
Rachel: All right, I took them. But I figured it would be okay because you got a big ink stain on the crotch.
(Phoebe then gets possessed 'cause she starts speaking in tongues. She speaks Italian to Joey's grandmother. She is quickly exorcised and returns to speaking in English. Of course, too most people English is a strange language as well. But none of them are probably reading this and if they were they wouldn't understand it. So why am I talking about them? I have absolutely no clue. Moving on )
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is holding a book as she, Rachel, and Monica drink some tea as Chandler looks on.]
Ross: Come on, come on, were-were-were lighting the candles!
Rachel: (on the verge of tears) Okay.
Ross: You're just jealous because you couldn't pull this off. Yeah, now if you'll excuse me (getting up and taking his coat) I have a date. (As he is walking out, everyone turns and stares at him) See? (To Joey) ALL eyes on ME!
(A wave crashes on the beach and partially fills up his hole.)
Rachel: Ohhh.(she rhythmically taps her hands on the magazine on her lap.)
Mr. Treeger:: Okay ahh, well, just ahh, follow my lead. (Turns on some music)
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hey, why dont you give a pull on that rope? (Points.)
Joey: (walking to a table with many badges on it) I know we're not, but (he picks up a badge) Frank Medeio and... (picks up another badge) Eva Trorro... womba...
Chandler: Well, sure, but can you play it on a plane? (pats his Travel Scrabble game)