words in movies
Joey: (Voice Over) Previously on Friends.
Ross: (on the phone) Ive been thinking, this is crazy, I mean dont, dont you think we can work on this?
Monica: What?! (She accidentally starts the blender without the lid on it and fruit flies everywhere.)
Rachel: (looking up at the ceiling) God, Monica its on the ceiling.
Monica: Thats okay, this is more important than fruit (pause) (angrily) on my ceiling! You broke up?!
[Scene: Rosss Bedroom, Ross is waking up. He straightens himself out on the bed and puts the covers over his head.]
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
Rachel: And y'know what, Im gonna, Im gonna go to bed now, but ah, on my way to work tomorrow morning, Im gonna stop by around 8:30.
Ross: Yeah, oh hey, you are right on time.
Monica: Oh, theres banana on it.
Monica: Okay, all right dont judge me to much. Okay? Um, but I saw this info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever bought anything on TV before, except for this mop. But there was this stuff on leg waxing, it just, it looked so amazing....
Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, Im in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachels all like, I love you and, and lets work on this. And all I can think about is, What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say? when I tell her what I did.
Joey: Look, Ross look, Im on board about this totally honesty thing, I am, just not about stuff thats gonna get you in trouble.
Joey: (stomps on the footrest which pops Ross up into a sitting position) The trail from the woman you did it with to the woman you hope never finds out who did it! (slapping his hands with each word) You always have to think about the trail!
Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial dont seem to think its that bad.
Joey: Yeah, I-I think that women just have a lower threshold of pain than men, thats all. I mean, come on, its just a little wax.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, come here. (Puts a little wax on Joeys arm and puts a strip on it.)
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is trying to close the door on Ross.]
Ross: (forcing the door open) Come on, Rachel, come on! Talk to me! Please!!
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
Chandler: Yeah, never cheat on Rachel.
Rachel: We were on a break!
Rachel: You think youre gonna get out of this on a technicality?
Ross: Come on! Like I wanted him to tell you, I ran all over the place trying to make sure that didnt happen!
[Later, Phoebe is on the phone, theyre all still trapped in Monicas bedroom.]
Ross: What? Come on Rach, tell me what youre thinking?
Joey: Oh man, pizza? I like pizza. (makes like he is trying to send a telepathic message to Rachel) Put olives on the pizza.
Chandler: Oh great, food with hair on it.
Ross: Hey, can I, can I get in on that? Because Im kinda hungry myself.
Rachel: Fine. (on phone) Hi! Yes, Id like to order a large pizza.
Chandler: Yeah, come on, its Ross and Rachel, theyve got too.
[Later, in the living room, Rachel is sitting on the couch, Ross is on the chair.]
Ross: What, now youre not even taking to me? (moves over to the coffee table) Look Rachel, I-Im sorry, okay, Im sorry, I was out of my mind. I thought Id lost you, I didnt know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I dont cheat right, I, thats not me, Im not Joey!
Joey: Whoa-ho-ho! (He looks at Chandler, who gives him a come on look.) Yeah, okay.
Ross: Y'know what, y'know what, Im-Im not the one that wanted that, that break, okay. Youre the one that bailed on us. Youre the one that, that ran when things got just a little rough!
Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now were in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And Im sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I cant. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just cant see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.
(He kisses her on her shoulder, then her neck, then the side of her face, then just before he kisses her on the lips....)
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]
Chandler: (realizes what Ross just said and the implications to him) I am mad! But you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna forgive you! Because that's what friends do! They forgive their friends when they do everything you just said, all on the list there. Well, but I want you to remember that I forgave you.
Ross: No, of course, Um Um, everybody? Um, I-I just wanted to say on behalf of my new bride, Rachel (She turns around and smiles), and myself. Umm, that if if in 35 years, were half as happy as you guys are, well count ourselves the luckiest people in the world.
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break as Lowell enters.]
[Scene: The playground. Ross put Emma on the swing and they’re ready to play]
Mike: that is so wrong and on top of that his a glue sniffer.
Phoebe: Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the bad desert Ross is quickly eating the mound on his plate.]
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...This is kind of embarrassing, but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man...
Laura: Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home with your child... (someone knocks on the door)
Joey: What's going on?
Laura: What's going on?
Stranger: And it is annoying when parents put their baby on the phone...
(cut to Joey on the other side, who finally leaves the door and goes to his apartment)
Jill: Well, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. (she kisses him on the cheek) See ya.
CHANDLER: Ok, while Ross is on the phone, everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday.
Monica: No! Listen, Im not gonna go through this with you again, okay. Just once I wanna beat when you cant blame it on the broken nose, the buzzer, or the fact that you thought you were getting mono. Lets just call this, tie score and its halftime.
Phoebe: Whoa!! Thatokay, thats a lot of pressure on me and my uterus. (to Dr. Zane) So, well okay, so is thereis maybe is there something that I can do yknow just to like help make sure I get pregnant?
Phoebe: (looks at the amount on the check, and gasps) Well, this is very generous!
Rachel: That's because he's on your neck.
Phoebe: Oh you�ll probably take care of that on your hands.
Woman: You already hit on me an hour ago
Phoebe: Ooh, if you take the northern route there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees. {Okay, I must protest this, I've lived in Illinois all my life and know of no man with a beard of bees! Wisconsin, on the other hand, might be a different story.}
Rachel: So shake it! (Rachel slaps Ross's butt on the beat)
Joey: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You just want to put it on your hand!
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Phoebe: And it looks like she put makeup on her!
Drunk Man: My god!! You must have been a teenage when you had him. (Monica stares straight forward after the comment. Chandler tries to console her by patting her on the shoulder.)
Chandler: Oh, you dont know. (Presses a button.) Helen, could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinders raise?
Chandler: Please let me stay on this side of the door.
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
Joey: Yeah! Come on!
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie, Joey and Rachel are on the couches]
Chandler: Come on guys, PUSH!
(Rachel enters, checking the mail, then looks up and sees Gladys placed on the barcalounger.)
Chandler: What's going on?
Monica: On three, 1 2 3! (Rachel turns her head on three to avoid the drops.) Now my pillow's all wet! (She was trying to fool Rachel and squeezed the eyedropper.)
Ross: Come on, she's gonna love you guys!
PHOEBE: Today we're gonna start with some songs about barnyard animals. [singing] Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo, Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo. Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up, And that's how we get hamburgers. Nooowww, chickens!
Ross: I don't know. I mean I have plenty of opportunity. Just just now there were some women at the coffee house smiled at me.And then the other day on the subway a woman "accidentally" sat on my hand.
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
Rachel: No, no, no, no! Ross, wait! Come on! You know, there’s other stuff. Here’s a nice shirt, look at these nice pants...
Ross: Uh, actually these might look pretty good on me.
Ross: Come on, Im your older brother, ask me!
Phoebe: You got it! Ok. But not on the wine that you made, ok, because I just don't want to go back to the Emergency Room.
Chandler: You should be. You’re really on top of stuff..
Rachel: Oh! Really? Do you wanna try some of them on for me?
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
(Rachel enters in this hideous pink bride's maid dress, with a huge silver bow on her chest, and a big, huge skirt, kinda like the one's women wore in the 1800s, Monica and Richard both stare in shock)
Rachel: Look, I know what's going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.
Monica: (pointing to a picture on the table) I-Is... Is that a picture?
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey's on the couch when Ross walks to him, with his jacket closed.]
Phoebe: Well, Im going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)
(Ross puts the piece back on the plate)
Joey: Yeah. And look, I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here and everything, all my feelings from before are totally over, okay? And even if they weren't, when you accidentally walk in on a woman using a breast pump...
Ross: What's going on?
Dr. Green: I think I may be able to book The Plaza on short notice.
Transcribed by: r3v3LaT1oN with corrections and additional information by Keith Owen
Ross: Maybe I should stand on your feet! (Gerts shocked and Ross realizes what he said and tries to brush it off.)
Monica: Phoebe, relax none of that stuff ever happens! They just put it on there for legal reasons!
Ross: You put an offer on a house?
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Phoebe is busy trying on virtually everything in the store. Shes got earrings, rings, bracelets, and enough necklaces to put Mr. T to shame on.]
Jen: Oh! My number is on there. (Hands him a business card.) Give me a call.
Cecilia: Oh yeah-yeah, we should get the (Pause) So when Jessica kisses a man, she usually puts umm, both her hands on the mans face. (She does so.)
Phoebe: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yes, Im the one who found your phone.
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Joey: (he has a turkey on his head) It's stuck!!!
ESTELLE: Joey, look at me, look at me. Do I have lipstick on my teeth?
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Phoebe: would you call this girl? (Puts on a crying act) thanks-fo-r-a-love-ly-even-ing
Monica: This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them dont work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.
(from 6.06 - "The One On The Last Night")
(Trying on a hat and talking to his own reflection in the mirror)
Conan: Now you guys work with animals a lot. You had to work early on with a monkey
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone's sitting on the couch. Monica and Joey enter.]
Mrs. Geller: Oh honey, come on, have a sense of humour, youve never been able to laugh at yourself.
Chandler: You know, our band is playing on Friday.
MR. GELLER: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
Ross: I...reorganized the fridge. See, bottom shelf: meats and dairy. (Theres nothing on the shelf.) Middle shelf: fruits and vegetables. (Theres one lone tomato.) And top shelf: expired products. (The shelf is jammed packed.)
Donny: You crossed the line. Joey, describe for Gene these things that have lines. Give me 20 seconds on the clock, please. Ready, go!
Phoebe: Well, if that's what they do in Minsk... (They kiss 2 on each cheek... and then they pause... David turns to the door) In New York... it's... (and then David grabs her by her neck and kisses her full on the lips... They kiss passionately and cannot seem to stop.)
Monica: Come on Rach, let's go.
Ross: What, I mean, a little, but no, what, go on.
Donny: Give me twenty seconds on the clock. Ready? Go!
Gene: You put this on a sandwich.
Gene: You put this on a hamburger!
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
Phoebe: This is how I look when I'm turned on!
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
Morse: You see, thats why I did so bad on this test. Im having a hard time concentrating. When youre up there (Points to the podium) and youre teaching and your face gets all serious you look so good. (In a sexy voice) You wear that tight little turtleneck sweater
Monica: (laughs) You are so cute! No. No, it was a fight. You deal with it and move on! It's nothing to freak out about.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is coaching Chandler on how to break up with Janice.]
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) (To All) Its the deli again!
Phoebe: Alright you guys, we cant turn on each other, Okay? Thats just what she wants.
[Scene: The Fire Escape, Joey and Ross have reached the last landing. Joey is tugging on the ladder that extends to the ground, but it wont budge.]
Joey: Nah, its okay. Right, Gunther? (Winks at him as if theyre in on a secret together.)
Monica: Ow! (Chandler slaps her on her back) Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!