words in movies
Joey: Yeah, we know, but there's a baby suckin' on it.
Ross: This is my son having lunch, ok? It's gonna happen a lot, so you'd better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it, now come on.
Chandler: Come on, you're going to Bloomingdale's with Julie? That's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship.
Phoebe: (Monica is yanking on her bra strap) Bras! We bought bras! We bought bras.
Phoebe: Duh, I think I know how to heat breast milk. Ok. (Squirts some on her wrist and tastes it.)
Ross: Not even if Carol's breast had a picture of a missing child on it.
Rachel: Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. (Puts her hand in the pocket) Here are your keys, hon. (She takes the keys out, sets them on the counter, and notices she also grabbed a receipt.)
Monica: (on the phone) Hi, who's this? (Listens) Hi, Joanne. Is Rachel working? It's Monica. (Listens) Yes, I know I did a horrible thing. (Listens) Joanne, it's not as simple as all that, ok? (Listens) No, I don't care what Steve thinks. (Listens) Hi, Steve.
(There's a knock on the door which is answered by Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Come on. It doesn't taste bad.
Ross: (he rolls up his sleeve) Gimme the bottle. (Joey hands him the bottle and Ross squirts some on his arm.) Gimme the towel. (Joey gives him the towel and he wipes it off.)
Joey: (sitting on the otherside of the counter from Chandler) Gimme a box a juice. Well, they switched me over to Hombre.
Joey: Or maybe it's because this guy's doing so good they wanna put more people on it. (Chandler pours some juice in a glass.) You should see this guy, Chandler, he goes through two bottles a day.
Phoebe: You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)
Phoebe: Wait, wait, wait, wait! (Runs over and joins in on the hug again.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
LITTLE BULLY: It's a nice watch, I don't wanna break it on your ribs.
(someone knocks on the door. Rachel goes to open it)
Ross: (Writing on the papers) B, B, B, B, B!
Rachel: Oh, I have to pee. If I dont come out in five minutes its because Ive choked to death on the potpourri stink. (Goes into the bathroom.)
Ross: What... what you working on?
(Finally, Monica with her parents on her arms start down the aisle.)
Chandler: On every word?
Rachel: I found him! (To Ben) Very funny, come here! (She sits down on the coffee table and Ben walks up.) That is exactly why Ive come here to talk to you okay?
Rachel: Amy, that’s what I was supposed to wear today, that’s why I hung it on the door.
Joey: Yeah! Okay. (He puts his hands on her face and they kiss.)
Amy: (To Rachel) Nana is on the phone (Hands the phone over to Rachel)
Chandler: (laughs) Isnt she cute? (On Monicas death stare) No!
Joey: Look, look lets pretend its a real bachelor party. Okay? Yknow? Before your wedding. Come on, itll be fun.
PHOEBE: Yeah, come on. You know you want it, you know you want it too, come on. Let's just be bad, it'll feel so good. [She starts scratching him.]
[Scene: Elizabeth Hornswoggle's apartment; Ross is there on his date with her. They are sitting on the couch watching a movie. Ross is obviously hot.]
Rachel: All right, yknow what, come on, do we really have to watch this while we eat? (She makes a move for the remote.)
Monica: No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them! I mean, if they didn't change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change. (He glares at her.) Come on sweetie, I just want this weekend to be perfect, I mean we can change rooms, can't we?
[Scene: Ross's Apartment: Ross is doing something on his laptop when Chandler walks in]
Rachel: I-I dont want your job. I-I dont. Ohh this is such a mistake. I did not make out with him. Nobody made out with him. I did not use my keycard yesterday. I dont even know how to use my keycard. (The elevator stops. Ralph steps on.)
Rachel: Well, now, wait. Now Im all freaked out. Come on, you guys will watch it with me.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is laying on the counter and Rachel and Monica are comforting him again.]
(Phoebe has this weird, anxious, nervous look on her face)
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
CHANDLER: No, I can't. No no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, [puts bracelet on Joey] it's about you and me and the fact that we're [reading bracelet] best buds.
Monica: Oh yeah, the Evander Holyfield phase. Oh man you were so hard up you practically came on to me.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Sandy sit on the couch. Sandy holds Emma. Ross enters the apartment. Sandy and Rachel wipe their tears away with handkerchiefs]
Chandler: What about the ones you have on the nightstand?
Joey: Oh! Any word on casting yet?
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Joey: Just watch it, and if you don't like it, you don't pass it on to your bosses!
Chandler: And we just sit here. I mean if I die the only way people would even know I was here, would be by the ass print on this chair! Look, we have to do something. Okay? Something huge!
Ross: Damnit! I'll put a candle on the cake.
Rachel: Well, I don't get it, but she wanted me to give you her phone number. (Hands him the slip of paper with the phone number on it.)
Monica: Rachel! Im never gonna think its okay for you to cheat on your husband!
Ross: Oh come on!!
[Scene: Chandler's office. He's on the phone, agitated.]
Chandler: Hey, guys! Come on! You gotta see what Emma just did.
Joey: No. They really like me over there. They want to do a big profile on me, but I said no.
Rachel: Okay, no, that's not the right decision. That's not, that's not right, no Ross-Ross, come on! I mean, that woman made you miserable! Okay, Ross, do you really want to get back into that?
Joey: For one thing, the guy on the tape said I was doing a good job!
Chandler: (on machine) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (The machine beeps off.)
Benjamin: (puts his hand on Ross's other cheek) I'm sorry too...
(He turns to face Rachel on one knee with the box open.)
Joey: What's going on?
(Monica is cleaning the table, Chandler is sitting on the sofa. Joey enters.)
(they shake hands the way friends would. There's a muffin on the table, and Ross breaks off a piece and wants to put it in his mouth.)
Chandler: (realizes what Ross just said and the implications to him) I am mad! But you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna forgive you! Because that's what friends do! They forgive their friends when they do everything you just said, all on the list there. Well, but I want you to remember that I forgave you.
Ross: No, of course, Um Um, everybody? Um, I-I just wanted to say on behalf of my new bride, Rachel (She turns around and smiles), and myself. Umm, that if if in 35 years, were half as happy as you guys are, well count ourselves the luckiest people in the world.
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is on a coffee break as Lowell enters.]
[Scene: The playground. Ross put Emma on the swing and they’re ready to play]
Mike: that is so wrong and on top of that his a glue sniffer.
Phoebe: Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the bad desert Ross is quickly eating the mound on his plate.]
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...This is kind of embarrassing, but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man...
Laura: Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home with your child... (someone knocks on the door)
Joey: What's going on?
Laura: What's going on?
Stranger: And it is annoying when parents put their baby on the phone...
(cut to Joey on the other side, who finally leaves the door and goes to his apartment)
Jill: Well, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. (she kisses him on the cheek) See ya.
CHANDLER: Ok, while Ross is on the phone, everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday.
Monica: No! Listen, Im not gonna go through this with you again, okay. Just once I wanna beat when you cant blame it on the broken nose, the buzzer, or the fact that you thought you were getting mono. Lets just call this, tie score and its halftime.
Phoebe: Whoa!! Thatokay, thats a lot of pressure on me and my uterus. (to Dr. Zane) So, well okay, so is thereis maybe is there something that I can do yknow just to like help make sure I get pregnant?
Phoebe: (looks at the amount on the check, and gasps) Well, this is very generous!
Rachel: That's because he's on your neck.
Phoebe: Oh you�ll probably take care of that on your hands.
Woman: You already hit on me an hour ago
Phoebe: Ooh, if you take the northern route there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees. {Okay, I must protest this, I've lived in Illinois all my life and know of no man with a beard of bees! Wisconsin, on the other hand, might be a different story.}
Rachel: So shake it! (Rachel slaps Ross's butt on the beat)
Joey: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You just want to put it on your hand!
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Phoebe: And it looks like she put makeup on her!
Drunk Man: My god!! You must have been a teenage when you had him. (Monica stares straight forward after the comment. Chandler tries to console her by patting her on the shoulder.)
Chandler: Oh, you dont know. (Presses a button.) Helen, could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinders raise?
Chandler: Please let me stay on this side of the door.
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
Joey: Yeah! Come on!
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie, Joey and Rachel are on the couches]
Chandler: Come on guys, PUSH!
(Rachel enters, checking the mail, then looks up and sees Gladys placed on the barcalounger.)
Chandler: What's going on?
Monica: On three, 1 2 3! (Rachel turns her head on three to avoid the drops.) Now my pillow's all wet! (She was trying to fool Rachel and squeezed the eyedropper.)
Ross: Come on, she's gonna love you guys!
PHOEBE: Today we're gonna start with some songs about barnyard animals. [singing] Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo, Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo. Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up, And that's how we get hamburgers. Nooowww, chickens!
Ross: I don't know. I mean I have plenty of opportunity. Just just now there were some women at the coffee house smiled at me.And then the other day on the subway a woman "accidentally" sat on my hand.
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
Rachel: No, no, no, no! Ross, wait! Come on! You know, there’s other stuff. Here’s a nice shirt, look at these nice pants...
Ross: Uh, actually these might look pretty good on me.
Ross: Come on, Im your older brother, ask me!
Phoebe: You got it! Ok. But not on the wine that you made, ok, because I just don't want to go back to the Emergency Room.
Chandler: You should be. You’re really on top of stuff..
Rachel: Oh! Really? Do you wanna try some of them on for me?
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
(Rachel enters in this hideous pink bride's maid dress, with a huge silver bow on her chest, and a big, huge skirt, kinda like the one's women wore in the 1800s, Monica and Richard both stare in shock)
Rachel: Look, I know what's going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.
Monica: (pointing to a picture on the table) I-Is... Is that a picture?
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey's on the couch when Ross walks to him, with his jacket closed.]