words in movies
Rachel: And your horoscope says, "On the fifth a special someone is going to give you a gift."
Rachel: Oh, wait and on the nineteenth a secret crush announces itself.
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
Ross: Come on guys, I-I really want this guy to like me. It-it would really help me out if you guys were here to make me look good.
Joey: Oh wow! Hes so lifelike! (Starts touching the guys cheeks) Unbelievable! (He starts tugging on the guys ears.
Joey: (slaps Wayne on his cheek) How do you do there, Wayne? (Backs away.)
Wayne: C.H.E.E.S.E. is right here. (He puts on his headset, picks up the controller, and wheels C.H.E.E.S.E. in. C.H.E.E.S.E. is just a plain old robot on tracks; he kinda looks like No. 5 in the movie Short Circuit.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is at the counter drinking coffee as Elizabeth enters with her dad, Paul. Elizabeth goes to kiss Ross, but he just kisses her on the forehead. By the way Paul is played by Bruce Willis. Yes, that Bruce Willis from Moonlighting, Die Hard, and Armageddon.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is working on her book at the kitchen table, Monica is on the couch, and Chandler is entering from the bathroom carrying a package of toilet paper.]
Rachel: Oh! Well lets look for them. (Finds some under one of the couch cushions. It has a pink, fuzzy ball on the key chain.) Oh-oh-hey! Are these them?
Rachel: (sympathetic) Ohh. So you raised her all on your own?
Joey: I may have to, I hate to do it, but Im the star! Yknow? Theres a limit to how many sandwiches I can eat off the floor. (His cell phone rings) Excuse me. (Answers it, on phone) Joey Tribbiani.
Estelle: (on the other end) Joe! Im glad I found ya, I got an audition for ya!
Estelle: The thing is its kinda on the Q.T. The actor who has the part doesnt know he might be fired. Its the lead in a series, Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is entering looking for Joey, but instead he finds Paul and Rachel making out on the couch.]
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
Monica: Yeah! Thats why Im sleeping with him on the side.
Monica: (writing on a piece of paper) Phyllis is sitting in a chair.
Joey: Morning! Hey, hows my favorite genius and my little robot buddy?! (Pats C.H.E.E.S.E. on the head.)
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross and Rachel are on their double date. Rachel is busy talking Ross up.]
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
(Ross slams his head down on the table.)
Phoebe: (reading from her book) Mon (Pause as she restarts) Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks theyre supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks its at seven.
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Wayne.)
Wayne: I-I-I saw you on stage talking to that beautiful woman, yknow Sarah?
Joey: You got it! And the rabbis beard, 100% horsehair. Nice catch C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Pauses as he waits for C.H.E.E.S.E.s next line.) Its your line C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Suddenly C.H.E.E.S.E. goes crazy and starts flinging its arms and advancing on Joey behind the desk.) Wayne! Wayne!!
(The camera cuts to Wayne whos busy making out with Sarah and rubbing C.H.E.E.S.E.s controller on her back causing C.H.E.E.S.E. to go crazy. Joey starts throwing books at C.H.E.E.S.E. to get him to stop.)
Ross: Y'see, that's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her if I thought on any level thatthat she was a lesbian?
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Chandler is falling asleep on Monica's shoulder.]
Chandler: (On cell phone) Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it. Yes it will be the same. Because I know, that's how. I promise.
Rachel: Uh-huh! Nice try, but you dont get that chair anymore! All right? That is my chair now! You can sit on my lap! (Joey starts to get up.) No I take that back!
MONICA: All right, what's goin' on?
Ross: A pigeon, a pigeon. (previously scared Rachel turns away) No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird�s aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby on its talon. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still up lays (?) are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool, that fills the apartment.
Sophie: You brought a picnic, oh, what a boyfriend. Thats it, on Monday I start wearing make-up.
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: (singing) I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find, is the wonders I've found ever since...
Monica: I'm sorry, I didn't know to look for Chinese food on the floor.
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is getting pointers on how to play Jessica Lockhart.]
Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?!
Phoebe: Wait! Oh wait! (she takes off a ring that was already on her left ring finger. After that Mike starts to kneel again, but then...) Oh no! (She was wearing rings on all her fingers and her thumb, and takes all of these off.)
Ursula: (disgusted) Hang on. (She goes into her apartment and slams the door in Phoebes face.)
Rachel: (We see a flashback as Rachel describes what happened.) All right, we were shaking hands and he kinda leaned toward me Y'know maybe he was going to open the door, but I totally miss read him and I uhhh (The flashback shows that she kissed him on the cheek.)
Monica: I mean this has been like my dream since I got my first Easy Bake Oven and opened Easy Monicas Bakery. I mean I would kill for this job. I mean I can totally do this job, and God knows I paid my dues. (She removes her fake breasts) But Petes just doing this because he has a crush on me.
[They run out and knock on Monica and Rachel's door]
Joey: (on tv) Oh, you said it Mike. (rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!
Joey: Oh! My head! Oh! (Hes sitting on the chair, lies back, and puts his feet up for Monica to rub.) Oh!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Three pizza crusts, two bottle caps and the plastic tripod are left in the otherwise empty pizza box.� Mike is making hollow popping noises with his mouth.� He begins to speak, but stops and pops his lips a few more times and takes a drink.� Ross smiles as if he has thought of something to say, but then he stops and sinks back in a slump on the sofa.]
Charlie: And there is a collection of Walt Whitman letters on display at the public library.
Joey: See, there was kind of a mix up in my agent's office, but I'm still on TV and that's good exposure.
(on the sidewalk outside Central Perk)
Ross: Ben, you ready? All right, gimme your foot. Ok, on three, Ben. One, two, three. Ok, That's it, Ben.
Phoebe: These are not mine... Look how flimsy they are, come on! Good God! You try to hang a guy from a waterpipe with these, they'll snap like a piece of licorice.
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
GUY: Hang on.
Ross: Come on! Forty-five minutes! Forty-five minutes the man talked about strappy backed dresses.
Monica: Guys, hurry up! The flight leaves in four hours! It could take time to get a taxi! There could be traffic! The plane could leave early! When we get to London, there could be a line at customs! Come on!! (She runs back to her apartment.)
MRS. GREENE: Alright, Monica dear, I'm gonna hit the road. Now I've left my 10 verbs on the table. And you be sure and send me that finished poem.
Chandler: Look, I thought about it too, and Im sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.
Chandler: Nine times! Okay, I had to put on lotion! But, its gonna be okay, because as of tomorrow Im conducting an experiment, and if all goes as planned, my butt will be smack free.
RACHEL: Come on, Terry, I'll even clean the cappuccino machine.
Monica: Phoebe, your face is fine! Come on, none of this stuff is going to happen to you! Stop being such a baby!
Ross: You dont understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, Im not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
(They go open the door and reveal Monica being spun around on the floor polisher and getting the cord wrapped around her legs.)
Monica: Okay! Very funny! Somebody let me out please?! Come on, Im cold! (She spills something.) And covered in marinara sauce! Come on! Let me out! (the door opens)
Chandler: (to Rachel) I love you. (Kisses her on the forehead)
[Scene: Ross's apartment.Someone's knocking on the door. Ross rushes to the door and it's Rachel with Emma.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has a box of keys and is trying them on the secret closet when someone enters.]
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
Ross: Come on you guys, we're sorry, alri...? Our subway broke down.
Phoebe: Come on. It doesn't taste bad.
Jennifer Aniston (V.O.): Previously on Friends.
Chandler: (answering it) Hello. (listens) (to Ross) Its Gandolf!!! (on phone) So, are you in town? (listens) (disappointed) Oh, well, well maybe next time then. (Hangs up)
Joey: Come on in, how are ya?
RACH: Come on.
(There's a knock on the door which is answered by Phoebe.)
Rachel: Okay, oh, here's what you do. Just act like everything around you turns you on.
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay look, Chandler, if this (Motions back and forth indicating the arrangement.) you have got to listen! (Tugs on his ear.) (Chandler glares at him.) Youre gonna throw that juice at me, arent ya?
[Ross runs to Rachel's bedroom, knocking on the door.]
ROSS: Rach, come on, open up. Rach, come on, come on, Rach. You got to give me another chance.
Joey: I'm sorry, I'm overreacting. Okay, It's just when it comes to food, I have certain rules, okay, I mean (bends down and with his plate and his hands, scrapes the dropped dinner back onto the plate and puts it back on the table) There are things you do..and you now, things.. (takes something from the plate and blows it a little) that you don't do (He takes a bite from it).
[Monica turns on the radio.]
Chandler: You look beautiful mom. (His dad clears his throat.) You look beautiful too dad. I love you both. (He kisses his dad on the cheek) Im so glad you here. (He kisses his mom.)
Phoebe: No! No! Its-its uh a real thing! Anyone can get ordained on the Internet and perform like weddings and stuff!
Ross: Aw forget it, its from Pier One. (Theres an angry knock on the door.) Sorry. (Goes and opens the door to an irate Dr. Green.)
Frank: Okay, okay, come on, you can do it. You can do it!
CHANDLER: (to taxi driver) Just practicing. You're good. Carry on.
Joey: Fine. (looks around, then focuses on Monica)
Joey: Oh. Why would you scare me like that? What the hell is going on? (Pause.) Is somebody pregnant?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there for his interview and everyone but Phoebe are hiding on the couch.]
Joey: He's right, man. Please. Move on. Go to China. Eat Chinese food.
Susan: We agreed on Minnie.
Cliff: Cant you figure that out based on my date of birth?
Ross: Yeah but, on the bright side, we get to be roommates again.
Joey: (concerned) Oh. Whats, whats going on? Is it mom? Is she sick? Is it dads heart? Is that a sandwich?
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Since Im here, I think Im gonna have me a little beer on the port side. (Grabs and opens one.)
JOEY: Phoebs, what's goin' on?
[Scene: Interview room. Ross and two other professors (one man, one woman) are sitting on one side of a long desk. Benjamin Hobart is sitting on the other side]
Rachel: Oh Monica come on, yknow I dont sleep with guys on the first date!
MONICA: (taps chandler on the arm) You can go.
[Scene: Joey is in Monica and Chandler's future house, sitting in a child's bedroom, looking at a quiz card which has "5+10=" printed on one side.]
Monica: Ugh, we're screwed, aren't we? You know what? Just tell me on the way to the bird store.
Phoebe: You mean whenever Monica and Chandler where like y'know doing laundry or going grocery shopping orOh! All that time Monica spent on the phone with sad Linda from camp!
Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is on the phone with a computer hotline.]
Ross: How can I not get this? I'm a college professor; I got 1450 on my S.A.T.s.
Rachel: (running from the guy's apartment with Joey in tow) Hey, what's-what's going on?!
Phoebe: Oh come on, they can be in the same room.
Phoebe: No, no, you can get one yourself. Itll be on the house! Y'know what are big sisters for?
Joey: (on a pay phone holding a box) Not as upset as he's gonna be when he finds out what I did with his sweater vests!
Richard: Oh, okay. Well, Ill just leave the door open and go sit on the couch. (Does so.)
Rachel: Ohh-ho-hooohhh. The hair comes out, and the gloves come on.
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
[Scene: Estelle Leonard Talent Agency. Estelle (ESTL) is speaking on the phone.]
ROSS: What's going on, is... uh, Bobby drinking again?
Rachel: Come on Phoebe! Dont be such a goodie-goodie!
RACH: [sees his coat on] Where you goin'?
Rachel: Come on. How can I just tell him? What about Julie?
ROSS: Hey, here's a theme: Come on in, live like bacon.
[Scene: Phoebe's Apartment, Monica is lying on the massage table waiting for Phoebe.]
Ross: No. I am not putting on makeup. (Knock at the door. Phoebe enters.)
Rachel: Oh no. You went on our honeymoon alone?
Phoebe: (reading the recipe on the back of the bag) Yes!! (Realizes.) Ohh.
Rachel: Did-did you come up here to work on that term paper or something?
Joey: He can still catch her! Come on, get out of there! (He opens the box) Get out of there!
[Scene: A random apartment building, Chandler and Monica are knocking on the door of the woman from the beginning.]
Joey: Ah-ah-ah Mr. Smartie Pants, its just not my character thats not brain dead. Hey, so Pheebs, we still on for tonight?
CHANDLER: Can you hold on a moment? I have another call. (to Ross) I love her.
MONICA: So we're back on?