words in movies
[Cut to Las Vegas, Joey is on the phone and wearing his gladiator costume.]
Joey: Uh, I scratched it on the ATM machine down on the corner.
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
Joey: Uhh Pheebs, I heard that. Can you put him on?
Phoebe: But again, Simmons. Go on.
Phoebe: On a totally different bet.
Monica: For this weekend! Oh gosh, it would be perfect, we get to see Joey plus we get to start our anniversary celebration on the plane. We can call it out plane-aversary.
Chandler: Ohh that's the worse thing that can happen on an anniversary ever!
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
[Cut back to Monica and Rachel's apartment, Rachel is singing along with a song and dancing while facing the big picture window. Y'know, I think I'd pay real good money to be on the other side of that window!]
Rachel: (singing) Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya baby! Ow! (There's a knock on the door, she turns off the music, puts on her robe, and goes to answer the door.) Love to love ya, baby! (There's another knock.) Darnit! (Looks through the peephole and turns on the lights.) Ugh. (She opens the door to Ross who's leaning against the door jam.)
Joey: Uhh, because I'm shooting a scene right now. Yeah, I uh, I play a gladiator. Uh, y'know what? Hold-hold on a second. (To no one in particular) Can we cut? Yeah, my-my friends are here, I'm gonna take a little break.
Joey: Yeah, what-what's going on?
Joey: Whoa! Whoa! Guys! Please! Come on! Come on! This is obviously just a big misunderstanding.
[Scene: An aircraft cabin, Ross and Rachel are on their way to Vegas.]
Ross: (loudly so that everyone can hear) Hey lady! I don't care how much you want it! Okay?! I am not gonna to have sex with you in the bathroom! (Rachel sinks lower on her chair trying to hide.)
[Cut to the casino, Monica is walking through it past the craps table when she notices a chip on the floor. She picks it up and heads to the table.]
Guy: (To Rachel) So uh, I'm on my way back to the bathroom. (Ross giggles.)
(Ross keeps giggling and Rachel decides upon revenge. She gets up and kisses the rather large man in the seat in front of Ross on the back of his head. The guy turns around angrily.)
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Joey is approaching one of the blackjack tables on his quest to make enough money for his movie.]
Joey: Look, I don't have it all worked out yet, but it's gotta mean big money! Come on! Identical hands!
Chandler: (Pause) Y'know, I-I can't really put a price on that Joe.
(Joey starts to leave to embark on his genius moneymaking scheme, but is freaked out slightly when as he goes to open the door, there's a mysterious knock. He calms himself down and opens the door to reveal Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Good. (After he leaves, she puts on Joey's gladiator helmet and checks herself out in the mirror) I should really start wearing hats!
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
(Rachel approaches and we see the fruits of Ross's evil plan. He has drawn a moustache and beard on Rachel. The flight attendant just ignores it.)
Rachel: What are you talking about Pheebs? (Takes out her compact) I don't (She gasps when she looks in the mirror and sees her face.) (To Ross) Oh my God, you drew on me?!
Phoebe: That's like the third time that lady's won on a machine I was playing.
Rachel: No, actually I took it off then I drew it back on.
[Scene: The craps table, Monica is on a big roll.]
Monica: All right baby, come on! (Rolls the dice) Yes! Yes! I am on fire!
Chandler: Come on! I was there! (He's propped up with his hand on a statute of a naked guy. He winces and pulls his hand away.) I know he's the love of your life.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's hotel room, Rachel is still trying to get the ink off and Ross is on the phone to the company. Wait a minute, why exactly are they sharing a hotel room? Didn't they like break-up or something? Did I miss a memo? Or maybe, it's just foreshadowing things to come. Who knows? Maybe the answer's at the bottom of the page. Then again, maybe it isn't and it's just one of those things TV writers just don't explain. Anyhoo ]
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
Ross: Oh, come on! Rach, it's-it's not that bad.
Ross: Look, just because some idiot drew on your face doesn't mean you shouldn't have any fun! Okay? And besides, hey-hey-hey no one is even gonna look at you. Okay? This is Vegas! Hello! There are tons of other freaks here! (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) There are tons of freaks here. No other. No. Come on! No one will notice, I swear!
Ross: Oh, hey y'know, they-they really overcharge you for that stuff. (Rachel glares at him.) But who cares?! Because it's all on me! (Rachel reaches into the fridge and pulls out two handfuls of those mini booze bottles.) (Watching her.) That is, one big drink!
[Scene: The casino, Phoebe is playing on a slot machine. Suddenly the lurker sticks her head around the aisle of slot machines.]
Phoebe: (seeing her) Get out of here you lurker! (She doesn't move) Go on! Get! (She throws a quarter at her.)
Ross: (gets up) All right. Y'know what? We dont have to go downstairs! We can bring Vegas up to us! (He grabs a deck of cards and pulls up a chair.) All right, come on, come on, we'll play some blackjack. Here we go. (Deals the cards.) 13.
[Scene: The Craps Table, Monica is still on her roll, only this time Chandler's with her and she has a huge crowd of people around.]
Monica: All right, biggest suite in the place. Come on! (Rolls the dice.)
Drunken Gambler: Go! Come on! Roll!
Chandler: Okay! Come on! Let's go! All right!
(He searches to his right; she searches to her left. They're both on their hands and knees when they spot the die. It's propped up against the table leg, and it's not lying flat. Both the four and the five are showing.)
Phoebe: Yeah, from now on everyone you lurk, I'm gonna lurk first! You move on to someone else, I'm gonna be one step ahead of you, every single time! And then I'll be on your ass every hour of every day 'til Monday, because that's when I go home. When do you leave?
Rachel: Yeah, and also we need more umm, drinks. Hold on a second. (Gets up but stumbles a little bit.) Whup, okay. (She makes it to the phone and picks it up, without dialing.) Hello! Vegas? Yeah, we would like some more alcohol, and y'know what else? We would like some more beers. Hello? Ohh, I forgot to dial!
(They both start laughing. There's a knock on the door.)
Ross: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. (He starts to sit down on the bed. There's one problem though, he's about two feet to the left of it. Needless to say, he misses and falls on his butt.) (Looking up at Joey.) Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
[Cut to the casino, a very drunk and doodled on Rachel is walking arm in arm with an equally drunk and doodled on Ross are walking through the casino and greeting people on their way through. Ross has some whiskers and his nose colored in, along with his name on his forehead.]
(They both continue on and Ross meows like a cat.)
Monica: Okay, come on, I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.
Phoebe: (entering and sitting down at the table.) Hello. My name is Regina Phalange. I'm a businesswoman in town on business. Would you like to see my card? (Looks down) Ooh, what did I do with my file-a-facts? I must've left it in conference room B.
(The security guard from before approaches and Phoebe tries to turn her back on him.)
The Security Guard: Come on, lady! (Starts to escort her out.)
Joey: Me?! Oh come on, man! You can't do this! Come on! (Being dragged out by the guard) I'm your hand twin!!
[Scene: Dots Spot, Chip and Monica are on there date, eating dinner. Chip is telling a story.]
(Theres a knock on the door.)
(Both Chandler and Phoebe have shocked looks on their faces.)
Rachel: Ohhhh, come on!!!
Monica: All right, come on, I'm-I'm late for work!
Joey: (on phone) Hey! I do too think about the consequences of my decisions! (Listens) What gives you the right to (Listens) Go to hell! (Hangs up the phone and opens the fridge.) Stupid guy on my phone.
[cut to Ross in Vermont, talking on the phone.]
Joey: Its still a tiny bit on fire there.
Rachel: You guys, come on, it doesn't matter why we're late. We're all here now, please let us in so we can have some of your delicious turkey. (A slice of turkey on a piece of aluminum foil is slid under door)
Monica: Yeah, come on, we can be guys!
Monica: Third door on the left.
The Woman From Poughkeepsie: (outside Rosss window) Ross? Ross! (she knocks on the window) Wake up! Ross! (the train starts moving) Ross! Ross!! Ross!!! Ross!!!!
Ross: Eh, her-her uncle already had planned on doing it. And yknow, we-we said our good-byes this morning, so
[Cut to the rest of the gang sitting low on the couch and craning their necks to watch the interview.]
Monica: Come on! Chandler!
Joey: Hey, what happened to your fancy chefs jacket? (sees theres a burn spot on it)
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is struggling with the fridge. He finally gets it open and falls on the floor]
Joey: I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's.
(She does so by taking off her jacket seductively, only she has trouble getting one hand out and slams the jacket on the chair angrily to remove it.)
Joey: Yeah, come on, think about it. Youre 18, okay, shes 44, when youre 36, shes gonna be 88.
Chandler: Hey, come on, its not your fault.
Joey: Ah! Okay, well then you dont judge me. Im gonna suck on the cellophane from the brownie I had before. (They both do as they planned.)
Chandler: No, no I only dated two girls in college, both blonde, both not attractive (Thinks a little while.) Hold on one second; let me check this out. (He gets up and grabs a photo album.
Monica: (she enters with a headset on and she's speaking into the microphone) Well, it matters to me!
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is trying to close the door on Ross.]
Joey: Hey-hey, whats going on?
Jay Leno: (on TV) ...Now what is this about you-you being arrested i-in London? What is that all about?
Chandler: Well maybe you should put some ice on it.
JOEY: You and Milton have to join us on the boat. Karen'll pack a lunch, you'll bring the kids, we'll make a day of it.
Chandler: Yes, on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely 19.
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
(Joey picks up and turns on a hair dryer.)
Monica: The babies are asleep, Im sure youll be okay on your own for a while!
Phoebe: Come, sit. (He's hesitant.) Sit. (Still hesitating.) Sit! (He sits on the arm of the couch.) Umm, all righty, before we get started I justI need you to state for the official record that you are in fact Frank Buffay.
Rachel: I feel like were the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.)
Dirk: Oh! Hey well listen, I play a scientist on "Days". And my character has just won the Nobel prize.
Joey groans and gets off the phone: The producer from Days left a message on my machine asking why I wasn't at the parade. They said everybody's pissed off at me.. <whiny voice> And they all got to meet Santa!
Monica: Oh my God, oh my God. (on intercom) Call me on the phone!
RICHARD: Yeah. I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed.
Rachel: No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have the that lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, and Julie are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: Being pregnant is tough on your tummy.
Joshua: Oh great! (He tries on the coat.) Wow! Yeah, its comfortable.
Joey: Yeah, what going on?
Joey: (getting up) Dude, I'm telling ya! I'm fine! (He tries to take a step and falls flat on his face.)
[Scene: Allesandros, Joey is coming back in with his coat on.]
Phoebe: Ooh, yeah. Then what are you going to put on top of that?
CHANDLER: Ya know, my cousin went to hell on a football scholarship.
Chandler: Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite...
Pete: Hmm, come on, you just said to her that you .
Ross: No, but come on, were off to a great start arent we? I knew Id get you here fast, but this has got to be some kind of a record!
Chandler: Hey! Hold on a minute, hold on a second. Do you think these pearls are nice?
Rachel: All right, come on, lets go get your coat.
Monica: Okay, so from now on we have to call you Princess Consuela?
Rick: Would you mind spending some time on my siadic area, its been killing me today.
Joey: (To Ross, on the couch) Now, here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. Now you tell me she's not a knockout.
Monica: Run, Marcel, run! Run, Marcel! (Marcel runs off and Luisa runs after him. Monica goes to check up on Phoebe) Are you okay?
Phoebe: (to Monica) Then why are you answering? Do you at least know what route were on?
Ross: Oh come on! Here we go! (picks her up and puts her in the chair) Stand by for mission countdown!
Joey: (gesturing at an imaginary painting) Note the painterly lines and subtle impasto on this canvas. Monet painted quickly and usually outdoors as his elusive subject was light itself.
Joey: Come on! Who has the biggest boobs?
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
The A.D: The one with "Heston" on it.
Ms. McKenna: Boston is down, Atlanta is down, Houston is down, I could go on and on but instead of boring you Ill go straight to my forty two point plan.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang's all there. Ross has a slip of paper that he throws on the ground tying to get Rachel's attention.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler is sitting on the couch between Russ and Ross, doing a crossword puzzle.]
Phoebe: Ohhh, I wanna come over there and give you a hug and wish you luck on your wedding, but I dontcant get up.
Joey: Phoebe, could you do me a favour? Could you try this on? I just wanna make sure it fits.
[Scene: Rosss Building, they are approaching the apartment of the woman who died. Ross knocks on the door and a woman answers it.]
Charlton Heston: Put some pants on kid so I can kick your butt.
Ross: (on phone) Hey.
Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? Im coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)
[Later, Phoebe is on the phone, theyre all still trapped in Monicas bedroom.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, its late at night, Rachel is sitting on the couch in the dark wide-awake as Ross walks to the bathroom.]
PHOE: Ok, so, ok, was he holding you? Or was his hand like on your back?
The Interviewer: All right then, well have a definite answer for you on Monday, but I think I can say with some confidence, youll fit in well here.
(Ross keeps staring at her, head on table. Chandler smacks him with a newspaper. Joey enters, Ross and Chandler laugh at him.)
Carol: (knocking on the door) Ross!
(Ross accidentally, on purpose, bumps into Susan.)
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe! Come on! You know what, it's already three o'clock and they haven't even gotten to Emma's group yet. We gotta go, we got dinner!
Ross: Oh come on! Thats-thats true.
Rachel: (deals new hand) Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...
Monica: It is not over because she is going to call you and tell you she loves you. And the reason why she couldnt, is because her feelings were so strong, it scared her. Now you go home and wait for her call, she could be calling you from the plane! Come on now go! Go! (Tries to push Ross out the door.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are on the couch as Joey enters.]
[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]
Joey: Im on it! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich.)
Rachel: (on tape) (Ross hands her a glass of wine) I cannot believe that I did this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it! (Mimicking Monica) "Okay Rachel! Here are the invitations Rachel! Now be very careful Rachel! Please, drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!" (She tilts her wine glass above and moves it back and forth across the invitations) Whoa oh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh oh-oh-oh
[Scene: Elizabeths Dorm Room, Ross is walking up to her door and knocks on it. Suddenly the door opens and Elizabeth drags him into the room.]
Joey: Oh whoa-whoa-whoa, no roommate stuff. Okay? Were on a date.
Ross: (yelling from the bedroom) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monicas lap and his feet on Chandlers lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]
Chandler: (asking a man leaning against the wall) What is going on?
Video:April Twelve, Eighteen hundred, Sixty-One (Monica lights Richard's cigar butt), 4:30 A.M. on Tuesday, the United States garrison at Fort Sumter was fired upon (knock on door) it is now under bombardment by....
MONICA: It's gonna be ok. Ryan's been under water. He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnicles on your butt.
Rachel: No, hey, come on, if he asked you first, thats only fair. (leaves)
Ross: Hey, say something to Emma on her 18th birthday!
Ross: Sweep, sweep....(He starts to paint it on her eye, making it look like she has a black eye.)
Phoebe: She was acting, she was pretending like she hasnt heard from him on years, but I found this picture on her fridge, and look (shows Monica)! Isnt this what he would look like now?
Ross: Yeah, I know, I uh, I tried them on.
ROSS: Rach, come on, look, I know how you must feel.