words in movies
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
Joey: Ha-ha. LookCome on, I dont know what to do or say. (He laughs.)
(Suddenly theres a noise off stage and the camera on Joey swings around.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
[Cut the hallway, Rachel is exited from Monicas when the door closes on her skirt.]
Joey: Oh yeah? Then how come I keep(He notices that the marker board they use has been left on the entertainment center and holds up his discovery.)
Courtney: (laughing) I spit on her!
[Cut to Central Perk, to the theme from The Dick Van Dyke show Joey runs into Central Perk carrying a stack of Soap Opera Digests and falls on the step. He does bounce right back up making it all that much funnier.]
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Joey: Youre still a tiny bit on fire there.
Conan: Now you guys work with animals a lot. You had to work early on with a monkey
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see now the one with the feather boa? Thats Dr. Francis. She used to be a man. Oh look! There(Marcel (Katie) jumps away)Okay. (And runs behind her on the back of the couch for a little while.)
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, its actually Joey and Rachels. Phoebe is trying to convince Rachel to switch with her and live with Monica as Joey looks on.]
Rachel: No yknow, I dont want to switch! Come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
Conan: And then it just builds on itself and theres no doing the scene after. I mean you probably wait and really get it together and do it.
(Joey hugs Rosss neck and has a look of complete contentment on his face which, after a short while, causes David and Matt to start laughing.)
Matt: Okay, Ill just put a little more booze on there. (Pours some more on.)
[Reset, Joey is about to pour more booze on.]
David: No! Come on!
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Conan: (to Courtney) You-youve worn a fat suit on the show. And, a lot of people love you in the fat suit. Do you like wearing the fat suit? Is it fun?
[Cut to Central Perk, Fat Monica and Rachel are on the couch.]
Conan: I-I heard some of you guys talking about this earlier, but sometimes theres just a word that someone has to say that youll get hung up on. And itll justthe way you say the word is funny to everybody else.
Matt: You-you mentally make a flag on it and you say, "Okay show night, Im justIll never be able to get through this."
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the gang is watching Joeys debut on Days.]
Chandler: (noticing the woman on the screen) Whoa! Shes purty!
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
[Cut to Monicas work kitchen, shes on fire again and Joey is putting her out.]
Joey: Youre still a tiny bit on fire there!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the bad desert Ross is quickly eating the mound on his plate.]
(Matt grabs his plate and takes some of whats on Rosss plate.)
CAROL: Actually, he is getting closer on the talking thing. He can't quite say mama yet, but once he said yumen.
(Someone knocks on the door; Monica gets it)
Richard: Forget the platoon! The platoon is gone! (He is spitting on the hard Ps and Ts.)
Chandler: I could perform an operation on you and prove it if you'd like.
Barry: We can, we can go to Aruba! When I went there on what would have been our honeymoon, it was, uh... it was really nice. You would've liked it.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gangs putting their coats on to leave.]
Mark: So, see ya on Saturday.
Chandler: Oh, thanks, but I think she'd feel like we're gangin' up on her.
Richards Date: Were still on this side of the door.
Joey: Im sorry! Okay? I went down to the gift shop and its either this or a bathrobe! Look, whats more important, the way Im dressed or me being with you on your special day?
(The lights come back on, and Rachel and Paolo are making out. Ross clutches his chest.)
[Rachel is still cleaning, Ross is laying on the couch. Ross kicks Rachel in the butt.]
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Ross: And why exactly would I do that? (Goes back to writing on the board.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the middle of the night, there is someone knocking on the door and Monica and Chandler get up to answer it.]
Chandler: Whoa-ho, back off, Missy! (He takes a step back, but she still keeps her grip on his tie.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Rachel is there as Joey gets up and starts putting on his coat.]
Charity guy: Right. Well, on behalf of the children: thank you both very much.
Monica: Y'know, I-I-I don't think that I can. So if you don't mind, maybe this will be it for me on the work things.
Phoebe: Oh, ok. Fine, I'll just, I'll take the hat back (she puts the hat in a bag and she crushes it angrily on the floor with her foot).
Joey: Hold on. Hold on. (Picking up a note pad and writing and reading the message aloud.) Rachel coming. Do...Something.
Phoebe: You never run on a barge!
Monica: Hold on.
Joey: (He turns around to Chandler looking for approval to go with Rachel, Chandler mouths Come on!) (turning back to Rachel) Ross, did ask us first, and we set that night aside.
(The camera zooms in on Sarah and she has a big smile on her face.)
Joey: (examining the tickets) Oh my God! Those are almost right on the floor!
Rachel: Ross, what are you talking about? (she sees the cake) oh! Oh my God! They put my baby’s face on a penis!
Mr. Treeger:: Tribbiani! Hold on, Ill get the plunger.
Ross: Hey, whats going on?
Ross: Whats that on the bottom?
Monica: Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape.
PHOEBE: Oh, I don't know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace.
Monica: Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me. (Chandler grunts.) Okay, you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesnt matter. All right? I married you! So I want to dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on. (They go onto the floor.) Just try not to move your feet at all. (Chandler starts to get into the groove and bust a move.) There you go.
Joey: Whats going on?
Monica: Yeah! And I got it on sale, too.
Kate: I cant believe we go on in, in a week.
Richard: So when people complement me on my cooking should I, what do I say?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is on the couch as Chandler disgustedly enters.]
Danny: Uh, actually, actually, I'm having a party at my place on Saturday, it's sort of a house warming kind of thing.
Rachel: (on the verge of tears) Yeah, Im fine.
MONICA: Really? Wow, well then come on, I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point.
Ross: Come on, there are plenty of other women out thereok? Just - just forget about her, ok? Just, she's off limits.
Waiter: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
"First time I met Chandler, I thought he was gay. But here I am singing on his wedding day!"
Joey: Well, Ive just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didnt have naked chicks on it.
Ross: (on the phone) Ive been thinking, this is crazy, I mean dont, dont you think we can work on this?
Phoebe: Oh my God!! You threw Pepper on the fire!
(Ross starts jumping and screaming incoherently and hops over and joins in on the group hug.)
Mr. Kaplan: Come on over here, sweetheart. (they walk over to a storage closet)
LITTLE BULLY: He told on us?
Monica: We have to do this. We are playing for women everywhere. Okay, just think about every lousy date that you ever had, okay, every guy who kept on the TV while youre making out...
Ross: Yeah, oh hey, you are right on time.
STRANGER: Great. Uhh, just tell her her husband stopped by. [leaves flowers on bar]
Joey: Uh, I scratched it on the ATM machine down on the corner.
ROSS: Wow, well uh, uh, actually, Julie's downstairs getting a cab, I just need the cat toy, did Monica say. . . What? Why, why are you looking at me like that? RACH: I don't know, I, I feel like I had a dream about you last night but I, I don't remember. ROSS: OK. Oh, oh, oh. [runs over and picks up the cat toy] RACH: Did we speak on the phone last night? Did you call me? ROSS: No, I stayed at Julie's last night. RACH: Huh. ROSS: Oh, actually I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages? RACH: Oh yeah, go ahead. [Rachel walks in her room. Ross picks up the phone and dials his machine to check his messages.] ROSS: Rach, I got a message from you. [pauses] Who's Michael? [Rachel comes out of her room, suddenly she remembers leaving the message.]
Joey: Yes, and they should name one of their kids Joey. I may not have kids; someone's gotta carry on the family name.
Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial dont seem to think its that bad.
Rachel: Look Joey, come on shes so perfect for you! I mean shes sweet, she-she likes baseball, and she-she had two beers at lunch.
Chandler: Hi! Im Dorf! Youre date for the evening. (Monica walks away in disgust) Oh come on! Dorf on dating, thats good stuff!!
Chandler: Ah, youre still just a little fat girl inside arent you? (He kisses her on the cheek)
[Scene: The smoker's balcony, Rachel, Kim, and Nancy are all puffing away on their cancer sticks.]
Joey: (approaches, wearing his glasses) Hey you guys, check it out. Check it out. (Moves his hand towards and away from his face.) It's like it's coming right at me. (Chandler helps out a little bit by pushing on Joey's arm, which causes his hand to slap him in his face.)
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
Rachel: What, whats it, whats going on?
[Scene: Chandler is standing on a street corner waiting for Phoebe in the cab. Joey walks up.]
Rachel: Yeah, we are definitely on Route 27.
[Scene: The Subway, Joey sees his poster and he peels off the caption on his poster, revealing more posters underneath. The captions read, as follows:
Janice: I should just go on to happier things, okay? Umm, why dont you tell about your lovely wedding?
JOEY: There's my scene, there's my scene. [Joey on tv] "Mrs. Wallace, I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon.
Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) All ticketed passengers for Flight 1066 to Athens should now be on board.
All: No! Come on!
Erica: Why don't you ask the reverend to pray on it?
[Scene: Chandlers office, Chandler is confronting his boss about the butt smacking thing. His boss is writing on a white board.]
Ross: We were on a break!
Rachel: Y'know Ross why dont you put that on your answering machine!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch. A waitress brings a coffee and Phoebe wants to pay.]
Chandler: No-no, why dont you hang on to that one.
Rachel: Hi! Uhh, do you guys have plans for the weekend? Because I have my sister on hold, and she said that we could use her cabin for the weekend and go skiing. Huh? Im asking you first, right?!. I mean Im playing by the rules.
Mark: What is going on?
Mike: Great! Come on in! (Mike kisses her on the cheek. A butler walks in and takes Phoebe's coat.)
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
Phoebe: Oh, youre such a gentleman. (Grabs his arm.) Come on! Were going to my place! (Drags him off to her place.)
Rachel: I don't know! I mean, what brought that on?
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
Carol: (on phone) Phoebe hang on a second Ross wants to say something. (listens) What? (listens) (to Ross) You slept with someone else?!
Larry: Great! How about you wanted to go the Italian place down on Bleaker Street right?
Joey: Hey, Chandler, that table place closes at 7, come on.
GIRL 1 ON BUS: Hey, you. He's just adorable.
Ross: Come on, would you grow up? Its no big deal.
[Scene: Rosss Classroom, he is writing on the board and Alan is coming in to see him.]
CHANDLER: (on pay phone) Come on, pick up, pick up! Hello? Transit Authority? Yes, hello. I'm doing research for a book, and I was wondering what someone might do if they left a baby on a city bus. Yes I do realize that would be a very stupid charact er.
ROSS: Fine, OK! Heat, heat, heat, and I'm the obsessive one. [goes to the radiator and starts turning the knob] OK, this way is on, so this is. . . [breaks off the knob] off.
Chandler: Come on, it was like cousins having sex up there!
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross are sitting on the couch nervously.]
Chandler: Wow!! Can Joey and I put them on and fight?
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Joey: You know, on the one hand you're happy for them, but on the other hand it's hard to let go.
Joey: Then you hold on to it!!
Monica: (shouting on phone) Wendy, we had a deal! (Listens) Yeah, you promised! Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! (hangs up)
Rachel: Hey Mon, look what I just found on the floor. (Monica smiles.) What?