words in movies
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
Joey: Ha-ha. LookCome on, I dont know what to do or say. (He laughs.)
(Suddenly theres a noise off stage and the camera on Joey swings around.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
[Cut the hallway, Rachel is exited from Monicas when the door closes on her skirt.]
Joey: Oh yeah? Then how come I keep(He notices that the marker board they use has been left on the entertainment center and holds up his discovery.)
Courtney: (laughing) I spit on her!
[Cut to Central Perk, to the theme from The Dick Van Dyke show Joey runs into Central Perk carrying a stack of Soap Opera Digests and falls on the step. He does bounce right back up making it all that much funnier.]
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Joey: Youre still a tiny bit on fire there.
Conan: Now you guys work with animals a lot. You had to work early on with a monkey
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see now the one with the feather boa? Thats Dr. Francis. She used to be a man. Oh look! There(Marcel (Katie) jumps away)Okay. (And runs behind her on the back of the couch for a little while.)
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, its actually Joey and Rachels. Phoebe is trying to convince Rachel to switch with her and live with Monica as Joey looks on.]
Rachel: No yknow, I dont want to switch! Come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
Conan: And then it just builds on itself and theres no doing the scene after. I mean you probably wait and really get it together and do it.
(Joey hugs Rosss neck and has a look of complete contentment on his face which, after a short while, causes David and Matt to start laughing.)
Matt: Okay, Ill just put a little more booze on there. (Pours some more on.)
[Reset, Joey is about to pour more booze on.]
David: No! Come on!
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Conan: (to Courtney) You-youve worn a fat suit on the show. And, a lot of people love you in the fat suit. Do you like wearing the fat suit? Is it fun?
[Cut to Central Perk, Fat Monica and Rachel are on the couch.]
Conan: I-I heard some of you guys talking about this earlier, but sometimes theres just a word that someone has to say that youll get hung up on. And itll justthe way you say the word is funny to everybody else.
Matt: You-you mentally make a flag on it and you say, "Okay show night, Im justIll never be able to get through this."
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the gang is watching Joeys debut on Days.]
Chandler: (noticing the woman on the screen) Whoa! Shes purty!
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
[Cut to Monicas work kitchen, shes on fire again and Joey is putting her out.]
Joey: Youre still a tiny bit on fire there!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the bad desert Ross is quickly eating the mound on his plate.]
(Matt grabs his plate and takes some of whats on Rosss plate.)
[Scene: Outside Monas Apartment, Ross is knocking on the door.]
Joey: Yeah, yeah, she's really into history and foreign movies... And oh, oh, she loves puzzles. Huh? Come on, who loves puzzles?
Joey: Oh come on Ross! Hey Ross-Ross dont
[Scene: Mr. Zelners Office, Rachel is knocking on the door.]
Joey: Im not telling, youll have to see it on TV!
Rachel: (on phone) Oh my God! Oh my God! Thank you! (Hangs up) That was the fire department, there was a fire at our place!
Monica: Damnit! Yknow this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does it again.)
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
Student: Yeah, its the new building on Avenue A.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is at the counter drinking coffee as Elizabeth enters with her dad, Paul. Elizabeth goes to kiss Ross, but he just kisses her on the forehead. By the way Paul is played by Bruce Willis. Yes, that Bruce Willis from Moonlighting, Die Hard, and Armageddon.]
Joey: I guess it couldve been, I didnt really look at it. Yknow, I just wiped it on Chandlers coat and got the hell out of there.
Parker: Come on!
Joey: Uh.. <forgetting what the work thing was, rolls up his sleeve on his right arm and shows Phoebe, she looks>
Wendy: Huh? Really? -- Hm, that'd be so terrible? (She gets hold of Chandler's tie, slowly moving her hands upwards on the tie, getting closer and closer to him, seductive.)
Chandler: Honey, she keeps canceling on us, take the hint.
Phoebe: No. They said you 'Weren't believable as a human being.' So, you can work on that.
ROSS: Sweetie, it's be gonna okay, all right. It's a wedding, generally people focus on the bride.
Amy: Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. <to Ross and Rachel> Can I take this upstairs?
Ross: Okay, okay, so we're in the car. Right? And bang! A shot was fired. And Joey with no regard for his own safety throws himself on me!
Rachel: Well you know, after about thirty or forty fights, you kinda catch on.
Mrs. Geller: Youre not going to say anything? On our 35th wedding anniversary
Parker: Well, excuse me for putting a good spin on a traffic jam!
Phoebe: You dont have to put a good spin on everything.
Monica: Oh, come on.
Joey: Yeah! I was thinking about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch. (Raises his eyebrows, questioning Ross to see if he wants to join him.)
Phoebe: Okay, you guys. You guys I think I know whats going on here. Okay, you guys STOP!! (They stop.) I know that, I know that youre acting mad because you think that itll make it easier to leave. But deep down youre still really sad. Deep-deep down.
Dr. Mitchell: (on the phone) Monica and Rachel's apartment. Err yeh, aayah, yeh, just one second... (handing it to Monica) ..ah, Rachel, it's your dad.
David: Uh, I-I-I was hoping to run into you here. I didnt know whether I should call or not, yknow I-I was only in town for a few days. And yknow, I didnt want to intrude on your life or-or anything like that, but I-I really wanted to see you andbut I didnt know if you wanted to see me.
Chandler: Whoa, she's pretty. (Mentioning the girl on TV)
Monica: Umm, so how long have you been working with your dad? (He looks at her) Come on, one of us had to mention him.
Joey: Uh, well yeah-yeah, I've got all of that going on. Yeah, listen uh, I want you to make sure you tell Chandler that he couldn't have been more wrong! Uh-oh! I gotta go Monica, my uh, my sushi's here!
(Chandler turns on the TV and )
Phoebe: (whispers) In the cab, on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He is sitting on the barcalounger holding a French study book and listening to a French learning tape.]
Ross: Okay, Phoebe just-just get-get on the bike andHey! Ill hold you up and-and push you. Okay?
Rachel: Hey, come on now!
ROSS: [approaching the mover holding the parrot] Hey hold on, hold on. How much for the uh, how much to save the bird?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch still staring at the screen.]
Chandler: Hey, I'm sorry, I should have given you guys my black book when I got married! Although it wasn't so much a book as a... napkin. With Janice's phone number on it.
Phoebe: Now wasnt Joey hitting on her at the wedding too?
Ross: (on phone) Yeah Ill press 1! (Presses one which allows Rachel to escape.)
Ross: Thats, thats pretty. (They start to dance and Gert tries to step on Rosss feet, but he pulls them out of harms way.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing there Gert?
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
Phoebe: Eh, dont be so hard on yourself. If someone I was still in love with was getting married
Joey: Okay. I got nominated for my part on Days of Our Lives!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is putting jam on his muffin, lots of jam]
Rachel: Whoa! Hey-hey, you planning on inviting us?
(Phoebe turns on some music and grabs some oil.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
Rachel: So whats the final head count on my baby shower?
(Theres a knock on door, and Phoebe opens it.)
Ross: (mouths "where?") Uh... Oh hey, do you, uh (steps on some garbage and falters) ...do you have any, um, Cinnamon Fruit Toasties?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, there is a knock on the door and Ross opens it to Cassie.]
Monica: Yes! Now, theyre a little more than I normally spend on boots or rent (Shows him the receipt.)
Monica: Okay, all right dont judge me to much. Okay? Um, but I saw this info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever bought anything on TV before, except for this mop. But there was this stuff on leg waxing, it just, it looked so amazing....
Rachel: What? You guys, come on! What am I going to do?
Monica: Im gonna go across the hall to check on the yams.
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Wayne.)
Rachel: Oh yeah. Okay, see mom, the truth is I can do this on my own.
PHOEBE: Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.
Rachel: Ok, Paulo, why don't you just go get dressed, and then you be on your way, ok, bye-bye. (Paulo goes into his room.)
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Chandler: (annoyed) Oh come on!!
Chandler: Ooh. Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but she's in Monica's bedroom, getting it on with Max, that scientist geek. Ooh, look at that, I did know how to tell you.
Ross: What?! While shes been going through this hell, youve been making money?! Youre betting on your friend staying in this misery?! (Phoebe lowers her head and shakes it yes.)
Amy: Oh my god. You're on Days of Our Lives.
SUSIE: It's nice to see you're not still wearing that denim cap with all the little mirrors on it.
<they hug and kiss on check>
Chandler: (To Joey) Would you put that back on?! Monicas gonna be here any minute!
(Ross starts jumping and screaming incoherently and hops over and joins in on the group hug.)
Monica: (entering quickly) Shes a hooker! Shes a hooker! Shes a (Stops as she sees her.) Hi! Uh, we spoke on the phone. (Goes and shakes the hookers hand.)
Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Amy with confused look on face: Yeah I.. I think so. <sticks her hand out to shake hands with Phoebe and says to her> It's nice to meet you Emma.
The Cooking Teacher: Okay. Lets move on.
Phoebe: Huh? Can you just imagine getting down on one knee and handing her this gorgeous piece of weaponry?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in Joeys lap on Francette, and theyre both groaning.]
Ross: Whats uh, whats going on? Do you not, do you not like Katie?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
Rachel: Yeah, I admit it. I have a crush on you, and uh, and, and I know that's crazy because we work together, and-and nothing could ever happen, and the last thing I want to do is-is to freak you out or make you feel uncomfortable. Which is why it would be really great if you said something right about now.
Chandler: Oh, you don't want me on the trip?
PHOEBE: Well, come on, who cares what that guy thinks. What does Warren Beatty know about kissing (Chandler and Monica, give her a look that says 'think about it') Ooh.
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
Ross: Oh sure. (He sits on the apothecary table and touches her hand.)
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!
Chandler: Oh, I figured you guys would all be mad at me. So I got you some gifts that I found on the side of the road. (Looks into the bag.) Who wants the teddy bear with one leg?
Phoebe: Youre on!
Phoebe: Fine! Youre on!
Monica: Im actually with her on this one.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch as Phoebe enters with Monicas soul mate.]
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Ross: Come on, finish your enchilada.
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Joey is approaching one of the blackjack tables on his quest to make enough money for his movie.]
Phoebe: I see. Nice sidestep on the do do thing by the way.
JOEY: OK, we'll just leave, and when we pass her on the stairs, she won't know it's me 'cause we've never met. CHANDLER: That's how radio stars escape stalkers.
Rachel: Okay, go to the left. (Joey goes starboard or sits on the right side of the boat.) The left!
Phoebe: You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, time lapse, Ross is entering. Chandler and Monica are at the kitchen table. Rachel is on the couch reading.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler is sitting on the couch staring at the tape on the coffee table with his eyes huge and his mouth wide open.]
Monica: (opens the door wearing a robe, but leaves the chain on) Hey, whats up?