words in movies
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
Joey: Ha-ha. LookCome on, I dont know what to do or say. (He laughs.)
(Suddenly theres a noise off stage and the camera on Joey swings around.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
[Cut the hallway, Rachel is exited from Monicas when the door closes on her skirt.]
Joey: Oh yeah? Then how come I keep(He notices that the marker board they use has been left on the entertainment center and holds up his discovery.)
Courtney: (laughing) I spit on her!
[Cut to Central Perk, to the theme from The Dick Van Dyke show Joey runs into Central Perk carrying a stack of Soap Opera Digests and falls on the step. He does bounce right back up making it all that much funnier.]
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Joey: Youre still a tiny bit on fire there.
Conan: Now you guys work with animals a lot. You had to work early on with a monkey
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see now the one with the feather boa? Thats Dr. Francis. She used to be a man. Oh look! There(Marcel (Katie) jumps away)Okay. (And runs behind her on the back of the couch for a little while.)
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, its actually Joey and Rachels. Phoebe is trying to convince Rachel to switch with her and live with Monica as Joey looks on.]
Rachel: No yknow, I dont want to switch! Come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
Conan: And then it just builds on itself and theres no doing the scene after. I mean you probably wait and really get it together and do it.
(Joey hugs Rosss neck and has a look of complete contentment on his face which, after a short while, causes David and Matt to start laughing.)
Matt: Okay, Ill just put a little more booze on there. (Pours some more on.)
[Reset, Joey is about to pour more booze on.]
David: No! Come on!
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Conan: (to Courtney) You-youve worn a fat suit on the show. And, a lot of people love you in the fat suit. Do you like wearing the fat suit? Is it fun?
[Cut to Central Perk, Fat Monica and Rachel are on the couch.]
Conan: I-I heard some of you guys talking about this earlier, but sometimes theres just a word that someone has to say that youll get hung up on. And itll justthe way you say the word is funny to everybody else.
Matt: You-you mentally make a flag on it and you say, "Okay show night, Im justIll never be able to get through this."
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the gang is watching Joeys debut on Days.]
Chandler: (noticing the woman on the screen) Whoa! Shes purty!
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
[Cut to Monicas work kitchen, shes on fire again and Joey is putting her out.]
Joey: Youre still a tiny bit on fire there!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the bad desert Ross is quickly eating the mound on his plate.]
(Matt grabs his plate and takes some of whats on Rosss plate.)
Monica: Y'know what, this is obviously some kind of twisted joke she's trying to play on him.
Monica: I cant! I spent so much money on them and I told Chandler that Id wear them all the time, I just cant give them away!
Phoebe: Come on Joey, dont make me feel badly about this.
ROSS: Um-hmm. [puts them on] I have a condition, apparently, that I require two different sets of focals.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is getting ready for Chandlers arrival. He enters and finds the place lit with candles and dinner on the table.]
Ross: That bitch! (He gets up and they go over to ambush Frannie. Monica taps on Frannies shoulder.)
ROSS: Well because I have to work on Monday, I have a big presentation.
Rachel: Hey, come on now!
Rachel: Honey, honey, Im sorry, I know its our anniversary but I told you on the phone I dont have time to stop.
(Joey finishes climbing the stairs and sees them. Chandler and Rachel both stop and look up at him. Joey sits down on the step.)
Aunt Millie: Give us a kiss. Come on! Come on!
(He goes up on stage, mimes like he's giving the speech, and Chandler takes his picture. However, before he gets down everyone starts clinking their glasses for a real speech.)
Susan: (Triumphantly) On your back... Mom.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'
Joey: Come on!
Ross: No I-I-I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we-we can just try it like on a temporary basis.
Tag: No, I would see you looking embarrassed because they are not on my desk!
Director: Whats going on over here?
Monica: You had a bathroom break at 2030. Pee on your own time, Mike! (to Phoebe and Mike). Now, in regard to the toast, okay, you wanna keep them short, nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Okay. You just get in, do your thing and get out!
Ross: Look, I (He has trouble sitting in his chair.) Look, Im having a great time with you and I just dont want us to move to fast or put to much pressure on us. So, Im sorry I just dont think we should go away together yet. Its-its too soon.
Kim: (to Nancy) So we talked about the (Chandler sneaks closer to her cigarette) whole presentation yesterday at lunch (Closer) and he wondered if one person would be enough (Closer) to get a take on the trip (Still closer) and I said, "Yeah, absolutely!" (She's interrupted by Chandler who has reached his goal and takes a drag from her cancer stick.)
[Scene: The Hallway between the Apartments, Ross is hiding behind that bump out on Monicas side waiting for Phoebe and Rachel. As they come up the stairs, he jumps out and yells ]
[cut to later, Tim has left. Monica is still shivering. Theres a knock on the door.]
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Rachel and Amy are walking on the sidewalk.]
Chandler: (turning the light back on) Monica?
[Scene: Outside of Central Perk, Phoebe is exiting and sees a woman put out her cigarette on a tree.]
Monica: Okay, I'm gonna go check on something across the hall. You start by washing these (she gives Chandler a bowl with cranberries. Then, while she's going outside, she sees him with a bottle of soap in his hands) Not with soap!! (she leaves)
Rachel: You put these on my desk!
(The security guard from before approaches and Phoebe tries to turn her back on him.)
Chandler: (To Monica) So you came to the room looking for Joey? Did you ever in-intend on telling me about this?
Rachel: Well hello! So, when are we gettin back out on the water matey?
Chandler: Well, close to (Notices Rachel leaning in to hear and decides to write it on a piece of paper and hand it to Monica as Phoebe averts her eyes.)
Chandler: (knocking on the window while outside) Sorry! (Runs off.)
(Ross calls his parents on his cell phone.)
Monica: Come on, was it somebody maybe you dated in college?
Ross: Come on, you know they love you.
Monica: What's going on here? You go out with tons of girls.
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
MONICA: Oh, that's there on the bottom, see the manager, Chandler Bing.
Monica: (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5 (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old number! Jennys been giving it out since they moved!
Rachel: Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.
(Chandler runs to check on them coming up the stairs.)
Phoebe: Yeah but if we throw her a party on her birthday, then it's not a surprise.
Ross: (takes a drink) Damn, this coffees cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? (Joey and he both laugh.)
Ross: Oh, on a date. Yeah, I met this girl on the train going to a museum upstate.
Ross: (angrily) AND ON MY TURF?
[Monica goes to fiddle with something on the table.]
Ross: Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that Im gonna be at that airport and I hope that shell be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachels name, but it didnt mean anything, Okay? Shes-shes just a friend and thats all! (Rachel sits down, depressed.) Thats all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I cant imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that youll tell her that.
Rachel: Yknow what Tag, if we went down to the office you would see those contracts sitting on your desk.
Rachel: Okay? Whoa, wait! (She undoes one button on Phoebe's dress.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle as Rachel enters.]
Janice: (notices Monicas engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! Im blind!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is being yelled at by her dad over the phone, and hes been going on for so long Rachel is holding the phone away from her ear and reading a book.]
Joey: Ah yeahwait a second now! Look were gonna have to set a spending limit on the date. I dont have the money to take her to a fancy place like that.
Monica: Okay, come on, do it one more time!
Rachel: All right. So you're telling me that there is nothing going on between you and Chandler.
Ross: So Joey umm, you look familiar. Are uh, are you on TV or something?
All: Rach! Come on! Rach!
Phoebe: Rachel! Come on out! Monica made breakfast!
All: Come on Phoebe! You can do it Phoebe! Come on!
The Director: (entering, drunk) I am hurt! (to Joey and Kate) A plague on both your houses! (walks away)
(Phoebe throws another jab, and lands it on Joeys nose, causing it to bleed.)
MONICA: Joey, you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, maybe you just tensed up a little, maybe that's what you need to work on.
Ross: Monica had such a crush on him. Yeah, she used to kiss his poster every night before she went to bed.
Phoebe: Wait! (Knocks on the door and Ursula opens it.)
Phoebe: Hey, whats going on?
PHOEBE: Yeah, I agree. Ya know, I think fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside and I'm just not sure we are.
MONICA: Ok people, I want you to take a piece of paper, here you go, and write down your most embarassing memory. Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out.
Mike: Your lipstick's on his mouth.
Ross: Come on!
All: Come on! Speech!
Mrs. Geller: Speech! Come on Monica!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Tag are making out on the couch.]
(Nina puts her hands on her hips, then gives Chandler a quizzical look.)
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Oh, come on, miss, isn't there any way that you can just let me off...
Joey: Oh, come on Rach! My turn just started!
Tag: Okay. (They sit on the step.)
Phoebe: Well not so much a pet as, you know, an occasional visitor who I put food out for, you know. Kinda like Santa. Except Santa doesn't poop on the plate of cookies.
RACHEL: Oh, come on, would you just grab my ass.
Monica: I'm not really here. Just thought I'd drop these off...on the way.. my way... Do you come here a lot? Without me?
Ross: So thats the only reason she could be here huh? It couldnt have anything to do with the fact that-that maybe Im a good listener and I uh I put on a great slide show!
Ross: Fine, yknow what, thats it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.
[Scene: Max and David's lab, they are working. Phoebe knocks on the door]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch in Central Perk]
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Rachel: Ross, see! I told you, those swings are evil! Alright, that is it. That is the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life.
Monica: (trying to change subjects, excitedly) So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! Ill see you then. (Pats Chandler on the shoulder and goes into the living room.)
Joey: Oh-oh! (Shows him whats on the back, "Best Man Joey Tribbiani, with a huge picture of him.)
Ross: Well look, I'm just trying to focus on the "I get to see my wife," part, all right? And not the part that makes me do this. (He takes a big swig of Pepto Bismol.)
Joey: No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
Mrs. Geller: What is going on?!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Shhh! Im on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. Its umm, its umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe yknow after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. (Listens) Okay, well okay Ill see you then. (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up.)
Tag: Come on, lets have some fun. Huh? (To Rachel) What do you want to do today?
Joey: It was amazing! And not just for her... uh-uh. For me, too. It's like, all of a sudden, I'm blind. But all my other senses are heightened, y'know? It's like... I was able to appreciate it on another level.
Ross: Come on thats not fair! I mean you havent even heard me play!
Rachel: Really?! Got a little crush on Tag there do ya?
(There is a knock on the door.)
Monica: (on phone) Uh, Michelle. Yeah, that was me, I-I dialed your number by mistake. (listens) Oh, you're so sweet. Yeah, we were a great couple. I know I really miss him. Well, you know how it is, it's that....
Monica: Mom says it's all of Manhattan, parts of Brooklyn and Queens, and they have no idea when it's coming back on.
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!