words in movies
Joey: I know, I know, but look at the knobs on her.
Phoebe: Umm, do health inspectors work on commission?
Monica: Uh, look, Larry honey, umm, I wrote the book on Section 5 and I know that you don't have to wear your hat unless you're in the kitchen.
Danny: Uh, actually, actually, I'm having a party at my place on Saturday, it's sort of a house warming kind of thing.
Joey: Not a problem. And listen, hey! Since you're gonna be here for a while, why don'tI was thinking we uh, put your name on the answering machine.
(He goes to the bathroom and Phoebe puts some pepper and salt on her food. With the salt she takes a bit and throws it over her left shoulder as she faces us.)
Joey: Come on, Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come and watch some TV in the fort!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Ross is working on his computer and Joey is making a lot of noise.]
(Notices Ross looking at him and stops. Ross gives him his 'quiet down' maneuver. Okay, this may take a while to explain, so center this on you screen and place your hands about a foot apart with your fingers together and pointing straight up. Now take you fingers and point them at the other hand and making a 90-degree angle with each of your hands and the first knuckle counting up from the wrist. Now take your right hand, no your other right (that was for the dyslexics), and lower it a couple of inches, so that the fingers are pointing at your wrist. Now take your arms and keeping the elbows bent and your hands in front of you spread out your arms, kinda like making a bird's wing. Now hunch your shoulders over and move you hands up and down as if you are trying to tell some one to turn it down. That's Ross 'quiet down' maneuver. Well, there is an accompanying face, but I don't want to try and describe it as well.)
Joey: No-no, no! We have to move the table into my room, yeah! 'Cause of all the boxes. Come on!
Chandler: (gasps) All right look, y'know, this maybe tough but come on, this is Ross! I survived college with him!
(There's a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Chandler: Not even on page 7?
Ross: Oh-oh-ooh, hey guys, I was wondering if you guys would uh, maybe chip in on some new air filters for the air purifier? I mean after all, we all are using it.
Larry: Great! How about you wanted to go the Italian place down on Bleaker Street right?
Larry: (notices something) I wonder how long that milk (on the counter) has been setting out.
Joey: Maybe, maybe we did a good thing, helping Ross get back on his feet!
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
[Scene: Downstairs at Danny's party, Monica and Rachel are coming down the stairs and Rachel has on a coat to make it look as if she's just getting back. But just as they reach the landing they see Danny out in the hall talking to a guest, Rachel then quickly pulls Monica back up the stairs.]
Danny: Hey! What's going on?
Rachel: Oh, come on! He's glad that I came, he doesn't want me to go anywhere, balls flying all over the place!
Rachel: Oh, go on! You telling people about me?
Rachel: No, it's all right, you can just drop the act Tommy. I know what's going on here. Your Danny's wingman right? You guys are best buds. Frat bros!
Joey: (getting up) Dude, I'm telling ya! I'm fine! (He tries to take a step and falls flat on his face.)
Ross: (popping up behind Joey wearing an Indian headdress) Come on, it's fun!
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
Chandler: Oh, is it on the computer, cuz I'd love to give it a read...?
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Mrs. Waltham: Oh, am I on the radio?
Ticket Agent: The last minute fare on this ticket is twenty seven hundred dollars.
CHANDLER: I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . [Joey returns to his room]
Chandler: Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you! Do you believe that who everdid something over here last night did what they did or didn't do ...I mean come on!!
(Emily spins the bottle and it lands on Joey.)
Ross: Touched. Used. Sat on. Sleep on.
Chandler: Youre coming on to the entire room! (He goes over to pick up a stack of magazines next to her, and to get her attention, he throws them back down.) Im Chandler.
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Rachel: Hello? (Listens) Um, yeah, uh, (snapping her fingers at Ross who takes the remote from Marcel, then turns off the TV) Okay ah, hold on a second, lemme lemme just check and see if see if she's here.
Dr. Franzblau: All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need(reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it) Excuse me, could I have this?
Phoebe: Oh, look-look, Joey's on TV! Isn't that great? My pledge got Joey on TV! Oh that makes me feelOh no! (Realizes that her deed made her happy and therefore it's selfish and covers her mouth in horror.)
Ross: What's going on?
MONICA: It's goin' great. Right on schedule. Got my little happy helpers.[everyone groans]
(Monica pats Joey on the shoulder.)
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
Ross: Okay, okay. Ooooh, ooh maybe I rode in on a Harley.
Ross: Shes fine. She doesnt know youre gone. And she doesnt have to know, okay? Now come on, were going home.
Monica: That's what you've been working on for the past two hours?!
Ross: (on phone) Hi.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Susie are making out on the couch.]
Rachel: No! (Joey sets his beer and bag of chips down and heads into his room.) Oh what does he know! Come on Rosita, us chichas got to stick together! (She tries pulling on the back of the chair, until the hinge breaks and the back falls off.) You bitch!
Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.
Rachel: But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, yknow you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
(Ross puts her on speakerphone.)
ROSS: Scotch. Alright, I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough, having to give it back to him... 'Hi Barry! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veil who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!' Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring, without the ring, which makes it so much harder...
Ross: Come on. (Helps her into bed as her phone rings.) I got it.
Rachel: Monica, this is Dan (points to him), one of the guys that we're gonna be going out with on Saturday. (Mouths "He's yours." to her.) Uh Dan, Monica.
[Scene: Joey and Janines, Chandler knocks on the front door. Joey answers the door.]
Joey: I've been thinking. Y'know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls...
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
(He punches her on her shoulder mockingly, then goes and sits down on her bed)
Monica: Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? (he laughs) That slayed me.
Monica: That guy stood on your neck until you passed out!
Joey: (entering) Hey! Is the show still on?
Chandler: Hey uh, Rach, funny story. I ah, bumped into Joanna on the street yesterday.
Monica: Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. (Goes to the counter) It was right here, where is it?
Rachel: Come on Joey, I just bought you a new chair! The most expensive one in the store! Hey, yknow what I was thinking? We could name her Francette.
Monica: Y'know what, I think we should play a game. I mean come on, its been twelve years.
Rachel: Look, you guys... this is really, really important to me. And it means a lot if you could try to get on board.
Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
Mr. Zelner: (Sees that she has some ink on her lip from her pen.) Oh Rachel, uhh (He points to his lip to get her to notice the ink on hers.)
[Rachel comes out of her apartment, followed by Mark, and they leave on their date, without saying a word to Ross. Ross is stunned.]
Phoebe: What am I sitting on?
(Rachel approaches and we see the fruits of Ross's evil plan. He has drawn a moustache and beard on Rachel. The flight attendant just ignores it.)
Director: Listen Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday.
Phoebe: Well, I'm not going in first. I bet that vein on Monica's forehead is popping like crazy.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching Yasmein Bleeth running on TV, and the duck starts quacking.]
Monica: Wait, wait, wait! (She puts a Shriner's hat on the turkey.)
The Teacher: All right, let's move on.
Chandler: What is going on here?
Chandler: Let's do it, come on!
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Ross: Come on, show them to me. (reaches for her cards, Rachel covers them up)
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's class; Rachel walks in, on time this time.]
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Rachel: Come on, this isnt funny. She thinks its my fault that you havent called her. You have to call her!
Phoebe: What's going on?
Ross: Yeah, what's going on?
Joey: They're so small! (Both he and Ross look at them with satisfied looks on their faces.)
Janice: On no! No! Its not good-bye, Im not leaving until you get on that plane.
Phoebe: All right, I can't sit here anymore. I have to walk places. (She puts on her fur coat.)
Rachel: She was kinda stupid. You're right. All right, I'm just gonna go on the date. I'm gonna go on the date. That is the new plan.
Monica: Come on, hurry!
Rachel: No! No! Phoebe, come on! I dont want to switch! Please come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
JOEY: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again.
Monica: No no, it's not working on me. Wow! I must be growing up!
Monica: Oh, thank you! (The gang exhibits signs of quiet apprehension and wears knowing glances.) (Monica giggles.) Whats going on?
Ursula: All right, hang on! (She takes the note, goes back into her apartment and slams the door shut.)
Rachel: Oh, come on! We know what these are worth.
Joey: Dude, you see right thru me!! (They hug) (Joey heads for the door and pushes Chandler's suitcase on the way out.)
Joey: Come on look guys, don't fight.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's unpacking after moving in. There's a knock on the door and he answers it.]
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
Bonnie: All right, I was 15, it was my best friend, Ruth, and we got drunk on that hard cider, and then suddenly, I dont know, we were, we were making out.
Phoebe: (reading the nametag on the uniform) Hi, I'm Ben. I'm hospital worker Ben. It's Ben... to the rescue!
Monica: Hey, see that snippy guy over there? Hes the one who decides who gets up on the platform. We should go dance by him.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Ross: (To Phoebe) Hey Pheebs! How's that uh, vegetarian pizza working out for ya? You and those vegetables have a real thing going on, huh?
Chandler: Oh come on!! (Storms out.)
RACHEL: Oh, I'm sorry. You know what? I cannot have this conversation with you. I mean, god, you just come in here, and drop this bomb on me, before you even tell Daddy. What? What do you want? Do you want my blessing?
Monica: Chinadolor Bong, come on, we steal that TV Guide every week!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Monica are curled up on one of the chairs.]
Joey: Come on. This guy's great. His name's Bob. He's Angela's... brother. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. Me, I go on three auditions a month and call myself an actor, but Bob is...
Ross: Hold on.
Joey: Yeah, sure, spread some of that on there.
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Susan: Look, I dont see why I should have to miss out on the coaching training just because Im a woman.
Monica: Can you just hold on for one minute?
Rachel: Come on Joey!!!
Jay Leno: (On TV to Dick Clark) Is there any entertainment there? What are people doing?
Joey: They did it right there on the couch.
Ross: What can I say, you missed your chance. From now on the only person whos going to enjoy these bad boys (holds up his hands) is me. (Quickly realizes what he said and exits disgustedly.)
Monica: Okay, what's going on with you?
Ross: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Pheebs, what's going on?
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.