words in movies
Joey: I know, I know, but look at the knobs on her.
Phoebe: Umm, do health inspectors work on commission?
Monica: Uh, look, Larry honey, umm, I wrote the book on Section 5 and I know that you don't have to wear your hat unless you're in the kitchen.
Danny: Uh, actually, actually, I'm having a party at my place on Saturday, it's sort of a house warming kind of thing.
Joey: Not a problem. And listen, hey! Since you're gonna be here for a while, why don'tI was thinking we uh, put your name on the answering machine.
(He goes to the bathroom and Phoebe puts some pepper and salt on her food. With the salt she takes a bit and throws it over her left shoulder as she faces us.)
Joey: Come on, Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come and watch some TV in the fort!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Ross is working on his computer and Joey is making a lot of noise.]
(Notices Ross looking at him and stops. Ross gives him his 'quiet down' maneuver. Okay, this may take a while to explain, so center this on you screen and place your hands about a foot apart with your fingers together and pointing straight up. Now take you fingers and point them at the other hand and making a 90-degree angle with each of your hands and the first knuckle counting up from the wrist. Now take your right hand, no your other right (that was for the dyslexics), and lower it a couple of inches, so that the fingers are pointing at your wrist. Now take your arms and keeping the elbows bent and your hands in front of you spread out your arms, kinda like making a bird's wing. Now hunch your shoulders over and move you hands up and down as if you are trying to tell some one to turn it down. That's Ross 'quiet down' maneuver. Well, there is an accompanying face, but I don't want to try and describe it as well.)
Joey: No-no, no! We have to move the table into my room, yeah! 'Cause of all the boxes. Come on!
Chandler: (gasps) All right look, y'know, this maybe tough but come on, this is Ross! I survived college with him!
(There's a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Chandler: Not even on page 7?
Ross: Oh-oh-ooh, hey guys, I was wondering if you guys would uh, maybe chip in on some new air filters for the air purifier? I mean after all, we all are using it.
Larry: Great! How about you wanted to go the Italian place down on Bleaker Street right?
Larry: (notices something) I wonder how long that milk (on the counter) has been setting out.
Joey: Maybe, maybe we did a good thing, helping Ross get back on his feet!
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
[Scene: Downstairs at Danny's party, Monica and Rachel are coming down the stairs and Rachel has on a coat to make it look as if she's just getting back. But just as they reach the landing they see Danny out in the hall talking to a guest, Rachel then quickly pulls Monica back up the stairs.]
Danny: Hey! What's going on?
Rachel: Oh, come on! He's glad that I came, he doesn't want me to go anywhere, balls flying all over the place!
Rachel: Oh, go on! You telling people about me?
Rachel: No, it's all right, you can just drop the act Tommy. I know what's going on here. Your Danny's wingman right? You guys are best buds. Frat bros!
Joey: (getting up) Dude, I'm telling ya! I'm fine! (He tries to take a step and falls flat on his face.)
Ross: (popping up behind Joey wearing an Indian headdress) Come on, it's fun!
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
Monica: What are you talking about? (Pointing out the window.) She obviously lives on the second floor, seventh apartment from the left!
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
RACH: No, actually first they started on my waist. And then, they slid up, and then, they were in my hair.
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are entering. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Ross: (answering it) Uh-oh, saved by the bell. (On phone) Hello?
Monica: Youre on the phone!
[Scene: Tattoo parlor. Phoebe and Rachel are deciding on tattoos.]
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
Monica: Yeah, she's here. Hold on a second. (She hands the phone to Phoebe.)
Kim: (to Nancy) So, okay! So you'll come with me on the Paris trip.
Chandler: Yeah. Either that, or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper.
Monica: Wow! So, now youre going on a date with this girl?
Rachel: Okay! (She jumps on the bed.)
[Scene: A street, Ross is walking with Elizabeth on their date.]
Joey: Aw, come on! It'll be years before I forget you!
Phoebe: Yknow what Joey left on my pillow?
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, are you still on hold? I was supposed to call my Dad back like two hours ago.
[Cut to Joeys, hes on the phone.]
JOEY: (pause) Yeah, you could go to the game with me, ah, even though I know you said you couldn't.� But then you lied to me and tricked me and gave me a bump on the head.
Rachel: Aw, Mon...(Kisses her on the cheek)
Hillary: You know, I rarely connect with someone this much on the first date.
(She gets to Monica who has the dress balled up in one hand and is sitting on Megan who is sprawled out on the floor.)
Chandler: (singing) Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Monica: (panicked) Oh wait! You didnt just sit on my Kit-Kats did you?!!
Chandler: Then we will sprinkle rose pedals on the bed and make love. Not just because its romantic, but because I can!
Joey: Actually, tomorrow night kinda depends on how tonight goes.
Joey: Come on man! (To Gary) Listen so uh, are you gonna squeeze the perps shoes a little bit before he lawyers up?
Rachel: (turns around) Mark? Oh my God! (puts the box on the chair and they hug each other)
Phoebe: Ooh, hey, could we put on the news? I think it might be raining.
Chandler: (laughs) She was working on Valentines Day so were celebrating it tonight.
(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)
Joey: Uh-uh, excuse me, I do have to interrupt on Rosss behalf. I-I think the rule applies here yknow, since she has a chance to get on broad back
Ross: Okay, okay! Im going. Im going. (goes across the hall to knock on another door.)
Monica: Oh my God! (She goes to hug him, stops short, and hits him on the shoulder.) Where the hell have you been?!!
JOEY: What? I have seven Catholic sisters. I've taken care of hundreds of kids. Come on, we wanna do it, don't we?
Phoebe: What did you do on yours?
Monica: I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. (Joey laughs and Monica glares at him.)
Phoebe: Ooh, technically you owe me $600 for sending out happy thoughts on your last ten auditions.
Phoebe: I dont know, I dont know, I dont know. You know, I mean, on the one hand, Mother may I? But yknow on the other hand No. No, I cant. Were friends. No, oh, no. I dont want to risk what we have.
PHOEBE: Yeah, maybe, yeah. You know, and, and I'll knock on the door and, and he'll hug me and I'll have a dad. Ya know and I'll, I'll go to his pharmacy and everyone will be really nice to me 'cause, you know, I'm Franks daughter.
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Monica: I was laughing. (Patting him on the knee.)
Rachel: Oh, look at the little cat! [a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross] Look at it!
Monica: Ahhh! You are on my list.
Joey: All right. Hey Rach, while you're in there, throw something on Alicia Mae.
Phoebe: (tremendously overacting) Fine! Ill do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I dont need you or anybody else! Im gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) Youll see!! Youll all see!!
Chandler: (Picking up a pillow.) Yeah, is this your pretty pink pillow on the couch?
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
Joey: Thank you. Cha-ching! (Chandler starts to leave) Oh, well hello Mr. Lincoln. Better luck next time buddy. (Chandler leaves and closes the door) And the drinks are on me!
Ross: Come on! (They go to the jetway, Ross hands the tickets to the gate agent.) Here.
Chandler: Ah, look on the bright side, I mean you won't have to live with this ugly chair! That was here already huh? I love you. (they hug again)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
Joey: Okay, Im all right, okay, but hey, could you just leave your lips? (She kisses him on the cheek and starts to leave.)
Ross: Okay, come on! All right, I gotta go! So good luck at the party. Okay?
Joey: See look, women, carrying the bag. (He puts it on his shoulder and looks at himself in the mirror and likes what he sees.) But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man.
Chandler: Oh! (Puts his hand on her belly.) Shes growing inside you.
Rachel: (as she's being dragged) What are you? Monica!! Stop it!! Oh my God! Stop it! (Monica drags her totally onto the floor and on her back.)
Joey: (slaps Wayne on his cheek) How do you do there, Wayne? (Backs away.)
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler wakes up, and finds someone else's hand on his chest. He rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.]
[Cut to later, the whole group is seated on the floor and Rachel is explaining the rules of Spin the Bottle.]
JOEY: Chandler, come on, you're gonna find somebody.
Monica: Yeah, I talked to you on the phone, Im the lady that got stuck with the racecar bed.
Rachel: (sympathetic) Ohh. So you raised her all on your own?
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
Chandler: Well, I was kinda hoping we could do this without him. (She starts to take off her latex gloves.) Oh no-no-no, leave the gloves on.
Rachel: Hey Ross! Any word on the apartment yet?
Monica: Yeah! Thats why Im sleeping with him on the side.
RACHEL: Really? You don't say, because mine was licked on by kittens.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross and Rachel are on their double date. Rachel is busy talking Ross up.]
Ross: No suds? Excuse me, hold on a second. (to woman) That's my friend's machine.
Monica: Mm-mh. I printed them out on my computer.
(Ross slams his head down on the table.)
Ross: Y'know what? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in '99!
Charlton Heston: (tosses him a towel, motions for him to get out of the shower and sits down on the couch) Every actor at one time or anotheropp! (Joey tries to sit down next to him and Heston makes him sit somewhere else.) Every actor thinks he stinks, even Lawrence Oliver at sometimes thought he stank, Bob Redford wont even watch himself.
Frank: Uh, Delaware. She's on her way though, so until she gets here, I'm gonna be your coach. But don't worry, she told me all about the la-Mazada stuff.
Joey: But Jos got a crush on Laurie. (Ross nods his head) Oh. You mean its like a girl-girl thing? Cause that is the one thing missing from The Shining.
Emily: But, we cant go now. It looks like Rachels gonna put on a skit.
Rachel: Uh-huh. (Ross takes off his coat and sets in on a chair.) Yknow what I was, I was thinking about?
Joey: Oh well, its not on TV yet.
The Dry Cleaner: Well, then its not on the wall yet.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Monica: Maybe I can try at intermission? Phoebe, come on... you know what? Let's just go!
Rachel: Monica, you should totally put your name down on the list
Monica: (to her son) Oh, hey handsome! Oh, I'm gonna love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you! (To Chandler, on the verge of tears) Oh, we are so lucky!
Rachel: Well, he didnt say, but it was a fire. Im guessing not very good. Come on, we gotta go!
Chandler: Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls. (Joey bangs on the door again)
Joey: Uh yeah, where-wheres the guy who decides whos pictures go up on the wall?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Ross is playing with Emma on the couch after just changing her diaper.]
Paul: So Lizzie, are-are-are you planning on staying the night?
Megan: Oh Im not, I just like to try these on.
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica is returning, but before she enters the apartment she stops on the step and changes from wearing tennis shoes to the boots and she moans in pain as she puts each boot on.]
Monica: All right shut up for a second and let me just see something. (She kisses him back on the lips) Oh, wow! (They then hug and kiss, very passionately.)
Phoebe: Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.
Estelle: Well, I sold four of them on Ebay. Youll be sitting next to HotGuy372.
Rachel: Well, I met Danny's sister yesterday, and uh that was actually the girl on the subway.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Paul: (whispering) Come on.
[The next flashback is also from The One With The Butt and it's also on the soundtrack. He's Joey telling everyone about his big break in Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
Joey: No-no! No, Im accepting it on her behalf. (He puts it up above the TV to display it.)