words in movies
Phoebe: (not amused) Ha-ha. (She sits down on the couch.) No, its just Im so pregnant that Imy guitar doesnt fit anymore. So I thought til Im not, Im just gonna play all my songs on this drum. It sounds really cool!
Emily: I left a bra drying on the shower rod, you dont think your son will think its yours and be horribly traumatised?
(They kiss but are interrupted by a knock on the door.)
Carol: (knocking on the door) Ross!
(Ross accidentally, on purpose, bumps into Susan.)
Ross: Oh come on! Thats-thats true.
Chandler: Hey, yknow what, if youre gonna do that, if youre gonna name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. (Phoebe doesnt think so.) Oh, come on! Chandlers funny, sophisticated, and hes very loveable, once you get to know him.
Chandler: Okay, look, Joey! Come on, think about it, first of all, hell never be President. Theres never gonna be a President Joey.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on her dinner date with Joshua.]
(Rachel gets up and ushers them into the hall, as they pass Joshua, he leaps onto the counter to avoid them. Rachel drops them off in the hall, and knocks on Joeys door.)
Joey: (answering the door.) Hey, how did you do that?! Come on in. (He brings them inside.)
Joshua: Oh, theyre working on this week, its a total mess. But uh, Im staying at my parents house, we could go there.
(They all go into the kitchen. Just then, Rachel comes back from the bathroom; she had removed her dress and is wearing nothing but a lace nightie. She tries to find someplace seductive to wait for Joshua. She tries to sit on the piano, but it makes too much noise. So she goes over to the couch and kinda half lays down to wait for Joshua. Joshua comes in from the kitchen, sees Rachel, and freezes.)
Chandler: Yes it is! From now on, I have no first name.
Rachel: Shes totally right! When we were together, you got all freaked out about Mark and there was nothing going on.
Monica: Oh, sure it does! In high school, you werent jealous at all even though all your girlfriends were cheating on you!
Chandler: Hey, look, this name has been holding me back my entire life. Okay, its probably why kids picked on me in school, and why I never do well with women So, as of 4 oclock tomorrow, Im either gonna be Mark Johnson or John Markson.
(They hug and give each other a little peck on the cheek.)
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
Dina: Loosening the saddle on mothers horse was brilliant Fredrick. And the electric fence, inspired.
Rachel: (on phone) Hello?(Listens) Mindy! Hi! Hey, how are you? (Listens) Yes, yes, I've heard, congratulations, that is so great. (Listens) Really? (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Okay. Okay, well I'm working tomorrow, but if you want you can, you can, you can come by and... (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Great... (Listens) Great... (Listens) All right, so I'll, so I'll see you tomorrow! (Listens) Okay.. (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up and sits down heavily.) Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
Ross: Well, this is what happens when people live on the edge!
Joey: Well do it all, and better! Look, after tonight, Gandolf will want to party with us, dude! Come on!
Phoebe: No, you can�t go. No-no-no, I can�t hold this table on my own. If they ask me to move, I cave.
<Amy starts spitting on Rachel's hand and Rachel is saying ew and pushes her away>
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Rachel are sitting on the sofa]
Monica: Okay, I-Im sorry. You and Joey, your both focusing on this uncomfortable thing, what you need to do is to change the subject. Next time you see him try to get him talking about something else.
Monica: What do you think brought than on?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch. Ross is sitting on the armchair.]
Rachel: Ok, we're still on that.
Rachel: Oh, see now I feel bad for the kid! I had a crush on a teacher once and it was so hard! Yknow youI couldnt concentrate and I blushed every time he looked at me. I mean come on, you remember whats its like to be 19 and in love.
Ursula: Yea-huh! Thats what is says on my birth certificate.
Mr. Geller: (Pointing items out on the bill.) Flowers, liquor, recarpet first floor. New guest bath, landscaping. Im paying to remodel this guys house. (Angrily gets up.) Im going to give that son on a bitch, a piece of my mind.
Monica: Oh yeah? Ok, let's settle this, come on!
Monica: Oh-ho-ho, sweetie, sweetie, you gotta stop saying that, now. Its no big deal, its not even worth mentioning, you see we all do it all the time. See watch this, Ben, Ben, Ben. (goes over and starts hitting her head on the post) Ow, Monica bang! (does it again) Everybody bang. (repeats) Ben bang. (repeats) Rachel bang. (repeats) Bang, Rachel bang! Oh, isnt that fun?
Joey: And I couldn't find this little plastic thing (holds up plastic thing) that goes on top of the blender...and I thought...well... how important can that be, right...? Turns out very!
Joey: Thats her! Okay, come on! (They go over and open the door.)
Chandler: Oh come on! Hello! Hi! My name is Chandler, here's my friend Ross right here, and we were wondering you know if you're up for it. We only need six more people for a human pyramid...Swoop!! Swoop!!
Chandler: So where are we on the whole going back to the place where they have all the marriages thing? I love you.
Chandler: What 'not work out'? I'm seeing her again on Thursday. Didn't you listen to the story?
Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god�s sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I�m sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn�t even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, it�s too late now.
Joey: What do you mean? I can do anything, I'm a chameleon! Huh? (he mimes an old man with a beard) I'm old! (then he yawns) I'm tired! (then he mimes someone who's hot...) Hey, I'm hot (...and cold) I'm cold!! Huh?? Come on! What can't I do?
Joey: Hey! You hold on pal! Now you made my friend, Rachel, cry. So now, youre gonna go up there and apologize to her, unless you want me to call the landlord.
MONICA: [She grabs the coffee cup on the table and licks the rim.] There you go, enjoy your coffee.
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
[Cut to Marcel walking along a hallway. He notices a banana on the floor and picks it up. The hand of an unseen person grabs him and carries him away. Then cut to Ross and Rachel on the street outside.]
Joey: I know, I know, but look at the knobs on her.
Monica: Yeah, well I dont think it really counts if you have to read them off the back of your hand after you fall asleep on the couch.
Phoebe: Well, nobody wants a ghost. But youve got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
Joey: Come on Ross, be a good guy. Step up and do it!
Joey: Oh, tell me about it. And shes been on the show forever, its gonna be really hard to fill her shoes.
Monica: Y'know, all these years, I thought you were on my side. But maybe what you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better!
[Scene: The Roof, Rachel is talking to a guy who hands her a tissue with something written on it]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is on the couch writing when Chandler enters to make his brief cameo.]
Ross: So is everybody here? I got here a little early myself. Let us begin. Now, the hydrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations. (He moves to the map and we see why he made it to class on time, hes wearing in-line skates and hasnt taken them off.) Here. (Points to the map, somewhere in the Middle East, then spins on the skates and points to the map.) Here. (China.) Now as for the hydrosaurs
Rachel: Come on! I think this is funny! (Ross leaves)
Dirk: Hey! So what show are you on?
(She storms into his apartment to find him with a towel around his shoulders, a bowl on his head, and Phoebe with scissors in her hand.)
Monica: Come on. I know you're not eighteen anymore, but give it a minute.
Aunt Lisa: Congratulations on the baby, and on the wedding
Joey: I'd take you out for a romantic night. Some champagne, fancy dinner, feel you up on the carriage ride home...
Director: On a bell please! Quietly.. and ACTION!
[Scene: The theatre where Joey is auditioning. Phoebe enters when Joey's on stage and she sits down. He hasn't seen her.]
Monica: When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror.
Ross: Totally insane. Dude, let's drive home, we'll hit all the maple candy stores on the way back and if...if they're closed maybe we'll tap a tree and make some ourselves.
Ross: Thats true, thanks dad. (To All) People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! (He starts to dance but stops when no one else joins him.)
Joey: Geez, sounds like you should be going on this date!
Chandler: Oh, Come on!
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel.)
Rachel: Oh, hon can you grab me my other box of tissues? Theyre right on that chair under Rosss coat.
Ross: Ok! So let's move on to the Renaissance?
Joey: Oh well, theyre killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body.
Joey: Okay. Rachel and Phoebe are already there, okay? So they probably started without us. We could just slip in and no-one needs to know where we were! (he raises his hands and on his right one there's a Rangers foam finger)
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is playing some shoot'em up game on his laptop]
Ross: Hiiii-Ya!! (Chandler lies back down.) Im serious! Youre not walking out on my sister!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is sitting on the sofa, reading the newspaper.]
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you!
Joey: Noooo... Three Blind Mice goes like this... (he puts his fingers in position on the recorder)
Chandler: Yes. Yes, there is, they play on Sundays and Monday nights.
Rachel: Which you're not, because you've totally hung up on him!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica sits on the couch and Phoebe is pacing up and down the room.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Charlie on the couch. Rachel enters]
Chandler: (sitting down on the couch) Ok.
Monica: There are no tickets on the nightstand!
(The shop assistant sprays the perfume on Phoebe's neck)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, time lapse, Chandler is fully dressed and slowly walking out of the bedroom with a distressed look on his face.]
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Carol is working on something at the table and Ross is reading a newspaper on the couch.]
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is sitting on his bed and the phone rings]
Chandler: (examining the hat) And the bunny got away. (Turns and starts looking for the bunny as Joey puts the hat on.)
[Scene: Casting Director #2s office, Joey is on his second audition. This one is for Purina One Dog Chow, an actual item. Please note the gratuitous product placement.]
Charlie: Oh! trying on clothes.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting on the sofa, eating a cookie.]
Chandler: Yeah, it's like when you're a kid, and your parents put your dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm.
Ross: Wha...? Oh sure, now they lock it, but when they're having sex on the couch, its like: "Come on in, my butt is surprisingly hairy".
Monica: Yes! Maybe its a false positive. Are you sure you peed on the stick right?
David: (to Chandler) Well, Phoebe's still pretty hung up on that Mike, uh?
Chandler: Oh. Well, hold on camper, are you sure you've thought this thing through?
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7, 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Rachel: Ok! (whispering) Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof and he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you!
Robert: Jeez, thank you really that is so nice. But um, to be honest, I dont think I can wear these, theyre so tight, I feel like Im on display. Im sorry.
Rachel: Hey! Hey what's going on?
Joey: Come on, I'll show you guys where to check in (Joey, Chandler and David leave)
Chandler: (slaps him on the shoulder) Nice! (goes to Monica)
Phoebe: That's like the third time that lady's won on a machine I was playing.
Rachel: Oh, Joey, come on! Please, please! Let me come, I will behave, I promise! I will behave! Please, please, please...
David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said)
Joey: Uh, yeah... This guy at work got me excited about going in on an emu farm. That'd be kinda cool huh? Pitchin' in on the weekends, helping to plant the emus...
Ross: My God. Rachel! (He walks towards her, grasps her hands and kisses her on the cheek.) Your here. I cant believe it. (She giggles.) What happen? Why are you here?
Phoebe: I want to, but I just want you to tell me that marriage isn't really that big a deal. You know that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks!
(The gang is now eaves dropping in on the conversation, and is shocked.)
Monica: Okay. (in her microphone) It's zero hour. All teams execute on my count. (to all) Let's get this bad boy on the road.
Rachel: What do you mean, you fold? Hey, come on! What is this? I thought that 'once the cards were dealt, I'm not a nice guy.' I mean, what, were you just full of it?
PHOEBE: (calling from the bar on her cell phone.) Hey, Mike, it's me.� Listen, is um, is Ross near you?
(The camera zooms in on the clock on the wall and it reads a quarter after one. Time lapse. The clock now reads 3:30, and Phoebe is still giving Rick his massage.)
Phoebe: So long! Dont let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on your way out! (He exits and she slams the door behind him.)
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
Chandler: Honey, try to focus the trash talk on him!