words in movies
Chandler: No-no-no-no, I've supported you one hundred percent and I want to prove that to you in person!
Chandler: I know. Can you believe it? One year ago today I was just your annoying friend Chandler.
Phoebe: Okay, what about after I give you these candies? (Hands them each one from her purse.)
Ross: So do I. (Slowly walks in.) Okay Rach, before anything happens (He takes off his coat) I just want to lay down a couple of ground rules. (Turns back to face her.) This is just about tonight. I don't to go through with this if it's going to raise the question of "Us." (Rachel's confused) Okay? I just want this to be (Kicks off his left shoe) about what it is! (Kicks off the other one.)
Ross: No! No! (Grabs his coat) No! (Grabs a shoe.) No-no-no-no. (Grabs the other one and heads for the door.)
Rachel: Okay. Oh wait! One more thing umm, do-do we still need to uh settle the question of "us?"
Joey: Uhh, because I'm shooting a scene right now. Yeah, I uh, I play a gladiator. Uh, y'know what? Hold-hold on a second. (To no one in particular) Can we cut? Yeah, my-my friends are here, I'm gonna take a little break.
Phoebe: Sure! (When Monica gets close to the door.) (Yelling) Yeah! Las Vegas, number one!
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Joey is approaching one of the blackjack tables on his quest to make enough money for his movie.]
Blackjack Dealer: Changing one hundred! (Gives him the change.) Good luck sir.
Ross: Oooohhh, I'll bet she's one of those people.
Monica: What? Wait! Why? (He turns and heads for the door and she chases after him.) Chandler! Chandler! Wait! Im sorry, I was just playing for one second! I was trying to find you to tell you that, look if you don't want me to see Richard again, I won't! He means nothing to me!
[Scene: A blackjack table, it's the same one Joey's hand twin was working at, only he's not there anymore and has been replaced by a beautiful woman.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's hotel room, Rachel is still trying to get the ink off and Ross is on the phone to the company. Wait a minute, why exactly are they sharing a hotel room? Didn't they like break-up or something? Did I miss a memo? Or maybe, it's just foreshadowing things to come. Who knows? Maybe the answer's at the bottom of the page. Then again, maybe it isn't and it's just one of those things TV writers just don't explain. Anyhoo ]
Ross: Look, just because some idiot drew on your face doesn't mean you shouldn't have any fun! Okay? And besides, hey-hey-hey no one is even gonna look at you. Okay? This is Vegas! Hello! There are tons of other freaks here! (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) There are tons of freaks here. No other. No. Come on! No one will notice, I swear!
Ross: Oh, hey y'know, they-they really overcharge you for that stuff. (Rachel glares at him.) But who cares?! Because it's all on me! (Rachel reaches into the fridge and pulls out two handfuls of those mini booze bottles.) (Watching her.) That is, one big drink!
Rachel: Nope! (She puts one in her mouth and spits it out, then does it again in another direction.)
Monica: We have one.
Chandler: If you get this one, we buy everybody here a steak dinner!
(She rolls the dice, but one bounces out of the table.)
Chandler: (spots one) Okay! That's a four! And where-where's the other one?
Phoebe: Yeah, from now on everyone you lurk, I'm gonna lurk first! You move on to someone else, I'm gonna be one step ahead of you, every single time! And then I'll be on your ass every hour of every day 'til Monday, because that's when I go home. When do you leave?
Rachel: Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (She slows down with each one.)
Ross: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. (He starts to sit down on the bed. There's one problem though, he's about two feet to the left of it. Needless to say, he misses and falls on his butt.) (Looking up at Joey.) Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
Rachel: Okay, y'know what? There's only one way I'm leaving this hotel room.
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
Chandler: Hello! One marriage please!
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck as The King's (Elvis Presley to the yougin's) Viva, Las Vegas begins to play. Sing along with me now, "Viva! Las Vegas! Vivaaaaaa! Vivaaaaa! Las Vegassssss!!" Fade to Black.)
The Teacher: Are you one of Bens mothers?
Rachel: No! Forget it! I am not gonna ask Frank to give you one of his kids!!
CHANDLER: Is he the one with the beautiful wife?
Phoebe: Which one do you have?
Gunther: Good one.
Monica: Uh-huh, that one!
[The next clip is from The One With The List.]
Rachel: Okay look, let me paint you a little picture. (She sits down next to him.) All right, you are settin sail up the Hudson! Youve got the wind in your h(sees that hes bald)arms! You-you get all that peace and quiet that youve always wanted! You get back to nature! You can go fishin! You canooh, you can get one of those little hats and have people call you captain, and then when youre old, Cappy.
Monica: Okay, come on, do it one more time!
Phoebe: Yeah, not the one I had my eye on.
Rachel: Well y'know if you, if you started smoking again you could've at least told me! Come on, give me one of those! What are we talking about?
Janice: (Ross is still taking their photo) Oh, I'm gonna blow this one up, and I'm gonna write 'Reunited' in glitter.
Monica: Im gonna hang this basket (Points to the one sitting on the table) on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece.
Joey: Ah, just one thing umm, is it all right with you if I, if I scream right up until you say action?
Ross: I was the James Michener of dirty talk. It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard. I mean, there were characters, plot lines, themes, a motif... at one point there were villagers.
[Flashback to: A street, Ross is sitting in his newly purchased MGB. Which is one of the better British sports cars ever made. Of course, better is a relative term. Which reminds me of a joke. Why dont the British make computers? Because they couldnt figure out how to make them leak oil. Anyway, the gang is all staring at his new purchase.]
Ross: I just, I had to see you one more time before you took-off.
Monica: Okay, this one I like!
(Phoebe takes one step after him and stops.)
Janice: We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you...
Monica: Yes, but you cannot tell anyone! No one knows!
Rachel: Excuse me, can I, can I bum one of those? (He holds up his pack.) Y'know what, actually (She takes the one he's smoking and heads over to where Nancy and Kim are standing and laughing.) Okay, okay, okay, what's so funny over here?
RACHEL: (after a pause with everyone staring at her, she goes up to the microphone) Ya, know what Barr, I'm not gonna leave. I probably should, but I'm not, see 'cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least *one* of your weddings (da-doom-chesh). See now, tonight, all I really wanted was to make it though this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity. Well (laughing), I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen. There's nothing really left to say except....(starts singing) "Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl. With yellow feathers (band joins in), feathers in her hair, and a dress cut down to there. She would..."
Phoebe: Well, I mean, Im not my sisters, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, its true, we were one egg, once, but err, you know, weve grown apart, so, um... I dont know, why not? Okay.
Monica: Oh, and the people are so nice. There's this one guy, Geoffrey, he's the Maitre D., Chandler, you will love him. He is without a doubt, the funniest guy I have ever met. (Chandler, who was almost asleep again, sits up straight in bed in an instant and can't believe what he just heard.)
Monica: And-and-and if I die, from a long illness. And youre writing out my eulogy and you open a desk drawer and you find a note from me that says, "I will always be with you," and you still cant shed one tiny tear, I know youll be crying a river inside.
Chandler: (opening the bathroom door and kicking out the chick and duck) Would you give me one minute!! Please.
Rachel: Monica, number one, I dont think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I... (Joey starts laughing in the background) (to Joey) What?!
Rachel: Hey, yknow what? Youre the one who wants to make this big change and move in with Chandler! You should be the one to go! Why should I have to leave?!
Ross: So, I'm guessing you had an extra ticket and couldn't decide which one of you got to bring a date?
Ticket Agent: And I do have one seat left.
Rachel: Hey, Mon, if you were hoping to sleep with Joshua the first time tonight, which one of these would you want to be wearing. (Shes holding two frilly, lace nighties.)
CHANDLER: Mine is the red one! Oh God. Can open, worms everywhere.
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
[Scene: Looking through Ross's window, he's doing more pantomimes. The first one is he's walking a dog that has stopped, then suddenly tugs him forward.]
Rachel: Monica, this is Dan (points to him), one of the guys that we're gonna be going out with on Saturday. (Mouths "He's yours." to her.) Uh Dan, Monica.
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck.)
Monica: All right, listen youre just being silly. Rachel, even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls in school and everyone wanted to be like you. One girl wanted to be like you so much she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll!
Monica: We got out pictures back from London. (Shows her one.) Here's all of us at the Tower of London.
MR. GELLER: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou. . .
Monica: As a thank you, Rachel and I will kiss for one minute.
Monica: Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? (he laughs) That slayed me.
Ross: (in his head) All right, keep going. We are phasing the accent out, phasing it out. So without out re-testing the results in the laboratory (pronounced the British way) the team would never have identified (British) the initial errors in their carbon dating analysis (British). Were there any questions at this point? (One student raises his hand.) Yes. (Points to him.)
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
Phoebe: You didn't read this one either?!
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, baby, that's nice but, you know what, I think I'm ok. Why don't you give it to one of your other single girlfriends?
Joey: Why dont you ask Chandler, cause hes the one that fooled around with her. She told me you said you could really fall for her. Now is that true? Or are you just gettin over Janice by groping my sister.
Rachel: Yeah, which, by the way Chandler, I would like back one of these days.
Joey: Umm, now uh Its a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Yknow, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Monica: No, those first two windows, (Points) that's the lobby. And y'know the other one over there, that's the stairway. You've been counting wrong.
[The next clip is from The One Where Ross Finds Out.]
Phoebe: Okay, 'cause right after my mom killed herself, I was just in this really bad place, y'know personally. So, I just thought that it'd make me feel better if I wrote to Sesame Street, 'cause they were so nice when I was a little kid! No one ever wrote back.
Joey: Well I can promise you, at least one person will be crying. (Points to himself) Im an actor, and any actor worth himself can cry on cue. (snaps fingers)
Rachel: Well, of course I am! It's not gonna happen to Ross! He's your brother. (To Chandler) He's your old college roommate. Ugh, it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.
Chandler: Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.)
(No one says anything.)
Phoebe: Then don't touch one!!
Chandler: Sure! Thats one of the great things about being engaged. Im not nervous talking to pretty girls anymore.
[Scene: The Moondance diner, Monica is cleaning up with one of the waiters, with her back turned to him she removes her fake breasts and hides them under her wig.]
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Monica are curled up on one of the chairs.]
Joey: Ohh, I know one thing!
Monica: Can you just hold on for one minute?
ROSS: Because it's a special hat. [Chandler looks at Ross funny] See he bought it 'cause he was feeling really down one day so he got the hat to cheer himself up, ya know. Now Chandler...
Chandler: Let them win one.
Chandler: Yknow? So I was thinking that we could get one of those signs and hang it over our bed. Because, thats you and I together! Merge!
Monica: Hey, I thought you already had one.
RACHEL: Well do you get to look through one of those like, those periscope thingys.
Rachel: What-Pheebs?! Two dates in one day? That's so unlike you.
Phoebe: Yeah, I thought I had one a couple of minutes ago, and now I know that was definitely one.
Joey: (sitting up from the couch) Hey Mon, do you have another pillow? (Holds up one.) Yknow, something a little snugglyer?
Monica: Guys, could you please just stop throwing the ball for one minute and just help me find it!
Ross: Good, you don’t want to be one of those mothers who pass on their irrational fears on their children, do you?
Ross: This couch, is cut in half! I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half!
Joey: Hey, I got one keyhole and about a zillion keys. You do the math.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there and Rachel is arranging a bouquet of flowers, pricks her finger on a thorn, throws the bouquet over her head, and those you who are quicker than some already know that Monica is the one who catches it.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are about to read another one of Joey's efforts.]
JOEY: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this.
Ross: The small one.
Joey: For one thing, the guy on the tape said I was doing a good job!
Mike: Hey, when did we become one of those couples whose lives revolve around their rats?
Chandler: Yes, and we'd appreciate it if no one told him yet.
Joey: Whoa, dude, look out! You almost crushed my hat! (He picks a hat up from the floor. It's one of those magician stovepipe hats.)
Ross: Look, I'm sure it would be great, but I-I think one of us has to be thinking clearly, so, I'm gonna go!
Phoebe: Rachel is one of my closest friends. (Pause) Although, being the only one who knows anything about this does makes me feel special. Okay!
Ross: You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break theice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, sothey'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one...
[they pull out the box of condoms but there's only one left]
Monica: Hey Rach, the adoption agency needs letters of recommendation and we were wondering if you would write one for us.
Ross: Oh, but it's a kind game! So we're a little late, you know, the girls will be there, let's stay just for one more goal.
Ross: How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
CHANDLER: No one was around to hear that?
Chandler: Okay. (She grabs a tin of freshly baked cookies) Oh yes. (He reaches for one.)
Chandler: Is this the best way to use one of your three magic wishes?
Rachel: Ohh! And Im one of them!! Wow! Oh, I just cannot believe this! I mean, Joey Tribbiani!
Phoebe: (shouts after David) Oh! David, get one for us too! Oh, oh, and see if they have a heart-shaped one! And with mirrors on the ceiling!
RACHEL: So do you uh, think we can get you one of those uh, uniform things?
Emily: Ross, there's one thing that really scares me still.
Rachel: Okay, well this is all very impressive Hilda, um I just have one last question for you. Uh, how did I do? Was this okay?
Ross: I see... Thanks very much. (he gets up and walks to the door. On his way out he looks at the photographs Mr Zelner has near his door. He picks one up.) Is this your son?
CHANDLER: So uh, which one is mine?