words in movies
(The door opens and Joey and Chandler ride in on the big, fake dog in triumph)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, later that night, there is someone knocking on the door and Chandler stumbles out into the living room, turns on the light, looks through the peephole, and opens the door.]
(She rises, dragging Chandler along by the wool. Rachel has to leap over a chair to follow them. Monica opens the door to find Mr. Heckles standing there.)
Rachel: (opens her present from Ross; it's a dark-red scarf) Oohh, I love it!
Monica: (without looking up from what she's doing) Besides tampons and salt? (Then looks) Ooh! My God! Maple candy! That's so sweet of you. (Opens the box) That's weird...it's empty!
Phoebe: (scared) Fire alarm? (She opens the door to reveal a fireman holding the blanket with the smoke detector.) Oh! Hi, officerfireman, can-can I help you?
Chandler: (opens and reads it) "Benefits lapsed."
Ross: That does not sound stupid to me. You know, it's like the first time I had to make dinner for myself, after Carol left me? (the buzzer on the washer goes off) I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross...(opens up the washer) Uh-oh.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, theres a knock on the door and he opens it to Mona.]
Rachel: Oh! (Opens the door to reveal a ballerina) Well youre just the prettiest ballerina Ive ever seen.
(Rachel decides not to give up that easily and follows him to his apartment and bangs on the door, which he opens.)
Monica: You would not believe my day! I had to work two shifts, and then to top it off, I lost one of my fake boobs, (opens her coat revealing a large burn mark over her left breast.) in a grill fire.
Monica: Oh, whatd ya bring me?! (She opens the gift) Awww, hotel toiletries from Japan. Oh, these are gonna go in my permanent collection. You want some coffee?
[Scene: The corridor. Amy knocks Joey’s door and Rachel opens the door.]
Ross: You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to (Opens the door to find Jill standing there.) Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-thats just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, theyve really taken a liking to me. (Quickly looks out to see if theyre watching.) Uhh whats-whats-whats the matter?
Joey: I will not take this abuse. (Walks to the door and opens it to leave.)
Joey: Wow! Uh okay, well uh (He gets up, opens a drawer, and pulls out the ring.)
(Ross goes to the window and opens the curtains revealing that it's raining outside)
Monica: (running in from her bedroom) Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! Ill get it! (opens the door) Hi, Tim.
Phoebe: Eeeee-(She opens the box and removes its contents and sees that it's a fur coat.)-ohh!! God! (She throws it at Joey.)
Ross: Ill be right there. (He goes over and opens the door to Carol, Susan, and Ben.) (To Ben.) Hello! (To Carol.) Hello! (To Susan.) Hey. Uhh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan.
(Ursula opens the door and is all dressed up with big hair and lingerie.)
(She opens the door to reveal Chandler and Ross. Unfortunately, they seem to have their holidays mixed up. They think it's Halloween and they're going as Crockett and Tubbs from that legendary TV show of the late 80's, Miami Vice. God, we looked silly back then!)
[Scene: Chandler's Office. Chandler is playing with a toy as his boss Mr. Douglas knocks and opens the door.]
[Cut to his bedroom, Ross is listening at the door as Paul opens the door, trapping Ross behind it. With Pauls back turned Ross coils up like a snake and slitters underneath the bed.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, with a blanket draped over her shoulders, opens the door to a similarly clad Chandler.]
David: Uhm... uhm... Goodbye... Uh... Schto ya ztez vigul... ui... (David holds his hands gently on the back of Phoebe's neck. There's a sound of a a bunch of keys rattling, and the door opens... It's Mike)
(The movie starts, its a vampires lair and Buffay, The Vampire Layer enters dressed in leather and carrying a wooden stake. Suddenly, the vampire opens his coffin and sits up.
Monica: Ohh, of course we are! (They walk up to the elevators.) We left it up to fate. (Pushes the elevator button.) If we were supposed to get married there would be a clear-cut sign. (The elevator door opens to a priest reading from a bible with Chandler and Monica standing side-by-side holding each others hands.)
Chandler: (reading the check) Pete Becker. Pete (quickly grabs a magazine and opens it up to show her a picture) (pointing to the picture) Is this him?
(Cut to Chandlers room, he opens the door slowly to see if Joey is there and after seeing that he isnt, ushers Monica into the room, closes the door, and the security bar.)
Joey: Good, good yeah, (Grabs the bags) maybe while were there, they can check your reflexes. (Joey opens the door and it hits Ross in the face with it.) (Makes quote marks.) "Oops."
[Scene: Richards Apartment, hes smoking a cigar and reading a book as there is a knock on the door. He gets up and opens the door to reveal ]
Joey: Oh yeah? (opens up the center and takes out the stereo) If I cant, Ill knock five bucks off the price off the unit.
(Joey opens door, throws keys on kitchen table, table falls over)
Charlton Heston: Hello! Whos in there? (He opens to curtain to reveal a naked and wet Joey.)
JOEY: Alright open your eyes. [opens his eyes to see two black leather recliners and a big screen TV]
(Suddenly the door opens and two guys come rushing in wielding water balloons.)
Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.
(The door opens allowing the horde to charge in, knocking Rachel out of the way and to the ground.)
(A janitor opens the closet door from the outside.)
The Presenter: in the category of Favorite Returning Male Character the nominees are: John Wheeler from General Hospital (Applause), Gavin Grant from The Young and the Restless (Applause), Dunkin Harrington from Passions (Applause), and Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives (Applause). And the Soapie goes to (She opens the envelope) Gavin Grant from The Young and the Restless!
Phoebe: (crossing her fingers and closing her eyes) Please dont be a space ship. Please dont be a space ship. (She turns on the light and looks around and finds that its the smoke detector thats beeping.) Oh thank God! (She moves a chair over and starts to investigate how to make the beeping turn off, in frustration she yanks the thing off of the wall. She sets it down and heads for bed, just as she gets there it beeps again. She opens the cover and removes the battery, but it still beeps.) How could you be beeping?! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can
(Phoebe runs into the kitchen with wet hair, opens the window, and sticks her head outside.)
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, he is sleeping with Marjorie. All of the sudden, Marjorie starts talking in her sleep, awakening Chandler. After a little bit, she quiets back down, and Chandler tries to get back to sleep. Theres a short pause until she starts screaming, causing Chandler to scream with her. She quickly calms down. This all wakes up Joey, who comes over wearing the mouth guard, opens the top half of Chandlers door, and starts to complain about the noise.]
Monica: Yeah, I do think its better this way. (listens) Yeah, were being smart. (gets up to answer the door) (listens) Yes, Im sure.(she opens the door and its Richard)
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
[Mr. Greene opens the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment. Ross sees him and runs to the door forcing him back in then holds onto the door knob.]
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks on the door and Treeger opens it.]
Joey: (Grunting) Hmm. (Monica opens the front door and comes in.)
(Phoebe goes and lies down as Rachel opens the drawer Monica hid the candlesticks in and as Monica walks out of her room.)
RACH: And ya know what, now I've got closure. [Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him. She smiles. She goes to open the door and can't get the lock undone.] ROSS: Try the bottom one. [She opens the door and they kiss.] [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler answers the door to find Monica.] CLOSING CREDITS CHAN: Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. MNCA: No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. CHAN: OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. MNCA: Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? CHAN: Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. MNCA: Well, thanks. CHAN: I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. MNCA: Well, you know. CHAN: You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. MNCA: [sad] Uh-huh. CHAN: And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. MNCA: Well no, but um. CHAN: I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. MNCA: Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . CHAN: So, you feel like goin' for a run? MNCA: Alright. CHAN: Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. MNCA: OK. Just for a little while. CHAN: OK. [Puts an afghan over her and dances into his room]
CHANDLER: Why yes Ross, pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia.
(He finds a shoebox (out of shot), pulls it down and opens it. It is full of Sweet 'n' Lo's.)
(A very angry Monica opens the door with the security chain still on.)
Rachel: Barbara! Hi, how are you? (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) No, I understand. Yeah. Oh, oh, come on, no, I'm fine. Don't be silly. Yeah... oh, but you know, if-if anything else opens up, pleaHello? Hello? (hangs up phone, very depressed)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Rachel: This bench, its hollow! I cant believe I never knew that! (She pushes all the pillows off it and opens it up) Oh, the presents!!!
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Kims waiting for it. The door opens and Rachel is inside.]
(He tries pushing against the chest of drawers. Then he opens one of the drawers and climbs into the closet using that; he falls behind the chest of drawers with a shout.)
Chandler: Im gonna say this for the last time. Would you please just (He moves his arm which opens the drawer and hits in the back of the head, which proves his point.)
(As Ross opens the lid, everybody looks at the mess inside.)
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
(Joey opens the door and takes Chandler's suitcase into his own apartment.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is eating breakfast, Joey quietly opens his bedroom door.]
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
All: Good-bye! Good luck! (She opens the door to reveal Monica and Joey.)
(Phoebe opens the box, to find something familiar inside.)
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks and Mr. Treeger opens the door.]
(Chandler goes to his bedroom and opens the door. However, only the top half opens, and he trips into his bedroom over the bottom half.)
Joey: That's right I am! (Opens drawer and rummages through it. Rachel enters)
Rachel: (gets up and opens the door) Hi Tag! What are you doing here?
(They look at each other. We switch back to Monica. Chandler opens the door and she turns to look at him.)
(Chandler runs out the door and closes it behind him. After a short pause the door opens and Chandler comes rushing back through, grabs Monica, kisses her good-bye, and heads back out.)
Kathy: (outside the door) No. (Chandler opens the door and they kiss again.)
Monica: I dont see him. Hey! Maybe hes in the sugar bowl! (Opens the sugar bowl) Joey? Nope! (Closes the sugar bowl and they both laugh.)
Joey: Monica, you have to do some damage control here, okay. 'Cause he's feeling like... (the door opens and Chandler walks in with a pizza)
Ross: Okay, okay, fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yogart, or something.. (opens the door)
(They start making out. She opens his shirt and feels inside and stops.)
(Monica opens it anyways.)
PHOEBE: Oh no, you're not supposed to be here. This is the staging area, you should, it's all wrong, you should leave, ya know, get out. [opens the door, the guys are right there] Or perhaps you'd like a creme d'menthe.
Monica: (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. There's a knock on the door, and Phoebe opens it.]
Rachel: Oh... (opens it and sees it is a pin) Oh my God. He remembered.
Monica: Nooo! (Giggles) Okay. (She tries to pull herself up by Rachel and Joeys doorknob, but the door opens and she almost falls into the their apartment. She manages to catch herself.) Whoa! (Stands up, unsteadily) Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning (whispering) thirty. (Giggles.) So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. (Pause) I wanna puke on you later!
(She opens the door and Alan enters.)
Rachel: Gotta go! (Opens the door to a boy in a cape.) Hi! Wow! There you go! (Hands him some candy.)
(He carries her over to the door and opens it.)
Phoebe: Okay, time to bring up the rest of the cups. (She goes and opens the door to Joey.) Oh, hi Joey!
[Scene: Elizabeths Dorm Room, Ross is walking up to her door and knocks on it. Suddenly the door opens and Elizabeth drags him into the room.]
(Phoebe opens the can and reacts.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is answering the door in his robe.] CHAN: No, no, no, no, no, no [opens door to Monica] No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. MNCA: Why not? CHAN: Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. MNCA: OK, if you say stop, then we stop. CHAN: OK, stop. MNCA: No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo [Chandler walks out of the apartment, leaving Monica] Woo. [Scene: Rachel and Monica's apartment. Rachel is taking asprin. Ross enters.] ROSS: Hey Rach. RACH: Ahhhh. ROSS: Oh. And how was the date? RACH: Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . [Rachel looks at Ross as though she remembers something, but can't place what it is.]
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Ross: Elizabeth! (He opens one of the bed stands that he has curled himself up into.) Okay. Okay. (She helps him out.) Im gonna go out this window. (Points to the window next to him.) Ill meet you at the front door. Just tell them youre going home, okay?
(Rachel opens the door to Paolo)
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Ross: No, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you. For example: hair drier, no, no, no, but shampoo and conditioners, yes, yes, yes. (pause) Now, the salt shaker is off-limits, but the salt (he opens the salt shaker and pours the salt into his hand) I wish I'd thought this through.
[Scene: Chandler's Office, Chandler is working as Nina knocks, then opens the door.]
(There's a knock on the door and Chandler gets up to answer it. He opens the door to reveal Monica with a turkey over her head.)