words in movies
Phoebe Sr.: Well, Im so sorry. I thought I was leaving you with the best parents in the world, I didnt even hear about your Mom and Dad til a couple of years ago, and by then you were already grown up. I dont know, youre here, and I would, I would really, I would like to get to know you.
Chandler: I got a good one, I got a good one! I once walked in on both my parents making love to the same guy.
Ross: Yeah. Yeah. Yes, this place is beautiful. Emilys parents got married here.
Monica: Where were your parents?
[The Gellers stare at Ross. Ross looks at his parents with an afraid, shocked look.]
[Chandler and Monica are by the window pressuring Ross to tell his parents the truth.]
Monica: Were supposed to meet my parents in 15 minutes.
(Back in the chapel. The parents are still fighting over the bill. Ross is refereeing.)
(Just then, his parents enter. Rachel gasps.)
Chandler: If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom.
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
DR. BURKE: Only because my parents wanted me to be, I wanted to be a sherrif.
Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sisters teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on backwards.) This isnt right.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are having dinner with her parents.]
Chandler: Yep, we're a couple and that's what couples do. And, I wanna meet your parents. We should take a trip with your parents!
Monica: (not amused by Chandlers joke) I miss Rachel. (To Chandler) No, my parents.
Ross: Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?
Chandler: We just finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner. I have--and I remember this part vividly--a mouthful of pumpkin pie, and this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they're getting divorced.
Monica: Ok worse case scenario is...we borrow some money from my parents.
Phoebe: Its mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it... later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like "yeah, right, well what else is new?"
Chandler: Its your parents anniversary and youre going to talk about their dead pet?
Joshua: Yeah, well, it wouldve been, but uh, my parents just moved here.
(Ross calls his parents on his cell phone.)
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.
Chandler: Your parents caught Ross smoking pot in college and he blamed it on me!
ROSS: [childishly] OK. OK, this is a picture frame from Ben to my parents, huh.
Mike: So...? What do you think? (looks at his parents, which look in disgust)
Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps)
(Monica and her parents walk up.)
Monica: Rosss parents are my parents!
Joey: Well-wellsee? Parents are comin!
Emily: My parents are going to be really mad.
Ross: Oh, taking my parents back to the hotel.
Ross: Then you are neither of your parents!
Mike: No, my parents are rich.
Mike: Mom, dad, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, these are my parents: Theodore and Bitsy.
[Scene: Mike's parents house again.]
Phoebe: (no accent) I'm trying to get your parents to like me.
Monica: Mrs. Bing? Here, these are my parents umm, Judy and Jack Geller.
Phoebe: (she turns around and puts the cat on the entertainment center) Ross, how many parents have you lost?
[Scene: Mike's parents house. Dining room again. Both Mike and Phoebe are not at the table, but the others still are.]
Monica: You got a present for my parents. Thats so sweet.
Phoebe: Yes! Yes you can, Im looking for Jacks parents.
Chandler: Well, no, although I did have an imaginary friend, who... my parents actually preferred.
Cassie: I guess the last time we really hung out was when our parents rented that beach house together.
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Rachel: And so were-were you close to your parents?
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
[Scene: The Anniversary Party, Ross and Rachel are arriving and see his parents.]
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
Joey: Hey, so where are my parents gonna be?
Joey: Look Rach, my parents bought this fridge just after I was born, okay? Now, I have never had a problem with it. Then you show up and it breaks! What does that tell ya?
Ross: well.. its just. its just in that case, then um. Emma would go to my parents.
Chandler: Kathys with her parents, I have nothing to do, so tomorrow we are partying with Gandolf dude!
Ross: Okay, I think I might know why my parents dont like you.
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Monica: We're Aunt Monica and uncle Chandler, by the way. You may not recognize us, because we haven't spoken to your parents in seventeen years!
Judy: After all, my parents died very young.
Chandler: Yeah, it's like when you're a kid, and your parents put your dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm.
[Scene: Joey’s Apartment. Ross is filming his parents ]
Stranger: And it is annoying when parents put their baby on the phone...
(Finally, Monica with her parents on her arms start down the aisle.)
Joey: Hey, you're Mike's parents, right?
Rachel: Uh. (pause) Did you call your parents?
Phoebe: I am one of Bens mothers. Im a lesbian. It was, it was difficult coming out to my parents.
Ross: Yeah! Yeah, Emily always wanted to get married in this beautiful place that her parents got married, but its going to be torn down, so I mean, I-I know its crazy, but everything up til now has been so crazy, and I dont know, this just feels right. Yknow?
Chandler: I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you.
Mackenzie: (sighs) I hate my parents.
Mike: The woman I love... (he walks to Phoebe) I love you... Which is probably something I shouldn't say for the first time in front of my parents... and Tom and Sue...Who are by the way the most sinfully boring I've ever met in my life...
Monica: (excitedly) Oh my God, we're gonna be parents!
Chandler: No-no all kids are embarrassed by their parents, youd have to come up with a whole new word for what I went through. When I was in High School, he used to come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. Yknow its hard enough to be fourteen. Youre skinny. Youre wearing speedoesThat your mom promised that you would grow into! And you look up into the stands and theres your dad cheering you on dressed as Carmen Miranda. We was wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack!
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, Rachel is already there with her date, Tommy who's played by Ben Stiller who will be in There's Something About Mary and Meet The Parents, as Ross and his date, Cailin, arrive.]
Helena: Chandler? What an unusual name! You mustve had terribly fascinating parents.
Girl: I'm Mackenzie. My stupid parents are selling this house.
Phoebe: Oh, I am having the best karma this week. First, I find this woman who knew my parents, and then my client with the fuzzy back gives me his beach house.
Roger: Well, I don't know. I mean, it's conceivable that you wanted to sabotage your marriage so that the sibling would feel less of a failure in the eyes of the parents.
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
Laura: Boy, you people are nice... And I've got to say... I think you're going to make excellent parents.
Rachel: I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous, it's so sweet!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica answers the door and lets her parents in. They are carrying boxes.]
Monica: All right, so I havent cleared the budget with my parents yet, but tell me how this is for music.
Big Nosed Rachel: Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! (Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.) Hi!
[Scene: The moment we waited for has finally arrived. Its time for Monica and Chandlers wedding. Weve got violins playing Every Breath You Take, weve got guests seated, and Chandler starts walking down the aisle with his parents on either arm.]
Ross: So I told Carl, Nobody, no matter how famous their parents are, nobody is allowed to climb on the dinosaur. But of course this went in one ear and out.....
Monica: Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could- (To Ross) -I'd want yours.
Will: Thats right! We said your parents flipped a coin, decided to raise you as a girl, but you still had a hint of a penis.
RICHARD: My parents are dead.
ROB: The library board has had a lot of complaints from parents about some of the stuff in your songs.
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny when my parents got divorced, they sent me to this shrink, and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves. But in your case it's actually kinda true.
Chandler: Nope, hymn 253, His Eyes Are On The Sparrow! When my parents got divorced is when I started using humour as a defence mechanism. (answers the door and its Rachel again.)
Ross: Hey. (To his parents) Happy Thanksgiving!
Rachel: Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like: "Oh mr. Pincer, I can see where Wallis gets his good looks..."
Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! Thats it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) Thats right!!
Joey: Yeah, I guess. It's just parents, after a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you've gotta let them make their own mistakes.
Monica: Wow, the boyfriend's parents! That's a big step.
Mrs. Geller: So Chandler, youre parents mustve been thrilled when you told them you were engaged.
Ross: Unbelievable, my classmates are gonna think I'm dead, my professors, my... my parents are gonna get phone calls. You're messing with people's feelings here.
Rachel: I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?
Rachel: They're my new 'I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots' boots!
CAROL: I mean, I knew they were having trouble with this whole thing, but they're my parents. They're supposed to give me away and everything.
Roger: I mean hey! I just met you, I don't know you from Adam. ...Only child, right? Parents divorced before you hit puberty.