words in movies
(Long pause.)
Rachel: Oh. Oh. Well there you go. Whew! (Pause) That isthats greatthat is really great-great news. (Pause) Yknow cause the whole not being ready and kinda the financial aspects, all that. Whew. Wow, this is so just the way it was supposed to be. (Starts to cry.) God.
Monica: Like I remember his office number! (Pause) Speed dial 7.
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
Chandler: (pause) Phoebe, would you take a look at this mess!!!!
Ross: Hate him? I No, I dont hate him. (Pause) Its just its Rachel, yknow?
Rachel: Chandler! (Pause) Is he?
RACHEL: (after a pause with everyone staring at her, she goes up to the microphone) Ya, know what Barr, I'm not gonna leave. I probably should, but I'm not, see 'cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least *one* of your weddings (da-doom-chesh). See now, tonight, all I really wanted was to make it though this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity. Well (laughing), I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen. There's nothing really left to say except....(starts singing) "Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl. With yellow feathers (band joins in), feathers in her hair, and a dress cut down to there. She would..."
Rachel: 'Kay. (Pause.) Congratulations on your new job. (She goes and hugs Monica and is almost in tears.)
(Pause.)
(Pause.)
(Pause.)
Chandler: So I was right. This is what it feels like to be right. (Pause) Its oddly unsettling.
(There's another pause as Ross gets angry again.)
(Pause.)
Joey: I dont get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didnt take it, and I didnt take it; and you (Chandler) didnt take it, then who did? (The duck quacks.) Shh! Were trying to think! (Ross and Chandler realise it at the same moment and stare at Joey, who doesnt get it. After a short pause, with the duck still quacking, Joey figures it out and starts pointing at the duck.)
(A pause as they look at Chandler.)
Chandler: Well, I have an appointment to see Dr. Robert Pillman, career counselor a-gogo. (pause) I added the "a-gogo."
Paul: Wow. What can I say? (Pause, pointing at Ross) This doesnt make me like you any better!
Richard: Yeah, I understand. Take as much time as you want. (Pause) Ten, even twenty minutes if you need it. Ill be here. Not smoking. (Monica leaves.)
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.
(Pause.)
(Pause.)
Joey: Look, Pheebs, I just, I wanna apologize for, for saying that your method was stupid and-and maybe ask you to be my teacher again. And-and I promise, I won't touch a guitar until you say I'm ready. (After a short pause she hands him her guitar.) You really think I'm ready?
Monica: I know. (pause) I need more pie. (goes and gets some)
Rachel: Sure! (Pause) God, please take those off!
Ross: Well we gotta do something, ok? Nannies like her don't grow on trees. (pause)
Ross: No, no, no. The next time it's gonna be a Hawaii at sunset. [pause] But maybe the time after that!
JOEY: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this.
(There's a pause as they figure out what to say.)
(There's a brief pause.)
(Pause.)
Rachel: Doh!! (pause) Ive got it!
Joey: Yeah. I understand. I understand. (Pause) Man, I wish I saw Phoebe first!
Monica:: he has to work, there's some rush on the big (pause, thinks) ah damn it one of these days I'm really gonna have to start listening when he talks about his job.
Chandler: (pause) Yes.
Joey: Hmm, soup. (Pause.) I mean, noodle soup. I mean soup!
Chandler: Great! Now, we can go to the Ranger game! (Pause) Last night!
MONICA: Aren't you afraid that Joey's going to figure all of this out?� (pause)� I heard it.
(Pause)
KEVIN: All right. It's no big deal. BILL: So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? RACHEL: Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend.� But um. . . BILL: Then, can I have your number? RACHEL: (pause) I'm sorry, no. BILL: Okay. (They start to walk away.) RACHEL: Oh sure.� (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.) PHOEBE: (Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number. BILL: Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. RACHEL: Great. BILL: Bye PHOEBE: Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?
Chandler: (pause) Yeah, you're right about that.
Ross: (Pause) Yeah I am! Yeah, Ben got a second audition!
Monica: Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)
(Pause.)
Ross: Hey Erica, welcome back to town! (pause) Wow, look how big you've gotten.
Paul: (standing in front of a mirror and to himself) Just relax. Just relax Paul, youre doing great. (Ross moves a piece of luggage over so he can watch Paul.) She likes you. She Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Yknow why? Because youre a (pause) neat guy. (Ross cant believe what hes hearing.) You are the man. You are (pause) the man! (He opens his shirt and looks at his chest.) I still got it. Nice and sexy. Youre just a love machine. (Starts singing) Im just a love machine and I wont work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! (Flexes and grunts loudly.) Showtime. (Starts to leave and starts singing.) Im just a love machine, yeah ba-by! (Grunts again and Ross is stunned.)
Rachel: Oh my God, wait did II just said Greens dont quit didnt I? (Pause) (Angrily) Did I just say Greens dont quit?!
Phoebe: Yeah, uh-huh, there was nothing. (Pause) Can I get some water?
(Pause.)
(Pause.)
Phoebe: (reading from her book) Mon (Pause as she restarts) Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks theyre supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks its at seven.
(Pause.)
Chandler: Monica! This is the Men's room! (Pause) Isn't it?
Rachel: (looks at him) That was (pause) surreal. Okay, what do think? Are you interested at all?
Chandler: No-no-no! It is going to be okay, because Mrs. Braverman is gonna send away for a free one and that way we all win! The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate, (Reading the label) Mommas Little Bakery. (Pause) I feel terrible, Im a horrible, horrible, horrible person.
Richard: No I dont have a ring! (Pause) You go get her Chandler. (Pause) And can I give you a piece of advice? If you do get her, dont let her go. Trust me.
(Pause.)
Chandler: Okay, give me a second! (Pause) Did you clean up in here?
Ross: Yeah but uh Okay, okay look you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but theres something else. (Pause) Rachels pregnant.
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
(Pause)
(They pause to think about it.)
Ross: Well I didnt! I didnt propose! (Pause) Unless uh (Pause) Did I? I havent slept in forty hours and it does sound like something I would do.
Chandler: And hats off to Phoebe. Quite a competitor. (Pause) And might I say your breasts are still showing.
Phoebe: As a matter of fact she said that's how I am going to die. (pause ) So, excuse me for being a little skittish.
Chandler: You guys haven't actually met before, but, boy! You're both polite! (pause) Go to have a seat Zack, and I'll get you a beer.
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
Rachel: (checks her watch) Fifty-two minutes. (Pause) So no-no brothers and sisters, huh? That must be nice. You dont have to share stuff.
Ross: Monica! (Pause) Would it?
Ross: Because! Because, it-it-its Itd be like you having this guitar (Points to hers) and-and never playing it. Okay, this guitar wants to be played! And-and this bike wants to be ridden and-and if you dont ride it you-youre-youre killing its spirit! (Pause) The bike is dying.
Chandler: (Pause) Y'know, I-I can't really put a price on that Joe.
Phoebe: That's weird. (Pause.) I bet they're doing it.
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
Chandler: Okay, give me a second! (Pause) Did you clean up in here?
Guys: Hockey! (They go to leave but are blocked by three of Rachel's friends, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne. The guys pause to stare at them.) Hockey! Hockey. (The guys.)
Chandler: Okay. (Pause.) What was tonight?
Chandler: Tell it again. (pause, we see Rachel is not amused.) Seriously.
Joey: All right now, memorize it. (Pause) You got it?
Ross: (angrily) Ben! (Pause.) (Happily.) I mean, Ben! Ben!
Joey: (pause) You pushed him!
Joey: (pause) Give me $400!
Joey: Y'know, I-I don't even feel like I know you anymore man! All right, look, I'm just gonna ask you this one time. And whatever you say, I'll believe ya. (Pause.) Were you, or were you not on a gay cruise?!
Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)
Joey: (realizing) Oh, that's what she meant! (pause) You know, if they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the MUSE! You know, short for museum, and avoid all the confusion!
Ross: Thats funny. Umm . (Pause, then serious) Its not funny.
Customer: I dont know. (Pause) Let me see the ring.
Ross: We are four short of a bush-o (pause). God I feel so alive, I love being in the country!
Joey: Oh wow, what a beautiful name! (Pause) What is it again?
Rachel: (reading) Joey! (Pause) We should just switch.
Phoebe: (after a pause) Unless... Maybe it's too crazy about this... Alright so... you know, there is no future... but that doesn't mean we still can't have fun. You know what? Forget what I said.
Joey: Thats so sweet. (pause) Im gonna get some coffee. (gets up and leaves)
Richard: I know. (Pause) I hate that!
Rachel: (Pause) Oh.
Pete: Ah, no it's not. I've got picture-in-picture here. (to other caller) Yeah. (listens) Yeah, okay. I'm gonna have to call you back later. (pause) Monica? You. I'm gonna have to call you back.
Phoebe: Oh, you're a paleonthologist, too! (pause) Oh, ok, now, what do you think of Ranion's new theory of species' variegation in segmented arthopods?
Phoebe: yeah well (pause) yeah you know Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.
Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? Oh, youre kidding! Oh, its a joke! (Laughs.) Its funny. Its funny. I dont get it. (Joey doesnt say any thing and Rachel realizes its not a joke.) Oh. (Pause) Okay. Umm I-I uh, wow. Are you uh How did umm When?
Rachel: (Pause) Yeah, shes gay.
Chandler: It was terrible. I fought with (Pause) my colleagues y'know, the entire time. Are you kidding with this? (Throws away another Rollo)
Chandler: (Pause) Im right here!