words in movies
Phoebe: That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing. Joey is not there.]
Phoebe: So you guys, I'm doing all new material tonight. I have twelve new songs about my mother's suicide, and one about a snowman.
Phoebe: Yeah, you wish!
Rachel: Phoebe, you're on.
Phoebe: Oh, oh, good.
Rachel: (Into microphone) Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooh!
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
Phoebe: (Sung)
(Over the sound of Phoebe singing we hear two scientists, Max and David, having a noisy discussion)
Phoebe: (Sung)
Phoebe: Well, c'mon, if it's important enough to discuss while I'm playing, then I assume it's important enough for everyone else to hear!
Phoebe: Could you speak up please?
Phoebe: Okay, we're gonna take a short break. (Goes over to their table)
Phoebe: David's like, y'know, Scientist Guy. He's very methodical.
Phoebe: Me too! Oh! Did you ever see An Officer and a Gentleman?
Phoebe: Well, he's kinda like the guy I went to see that with. Except, except he-he's smarter, and gentler, and sweeter... I just- I just wanna be with him all the time. Day and night, and night and day... and special occasions...
Phoebe: No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, could I just?
[Scene: Max and David's lab, David is explaining something to Phoebe with the aid of a whiteboard.]
Phoebe: Okay, alright, I have a question, then.
Phoebe: Um, were you planning on kissing me ever?
Phoebe: Sure.
Phoebe: Oh, David, I, I think you are a sweeping sorta fella. I mean, you're a sweeper! ...trapped inside a physicist's body.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, oh, I'm sure of it. You should just do it, just sweep and throw me.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, right now.
Phoebe: Okay, now you're just kinda tidying.
David: Okay, what the hell, what the hell. (Sweeps the remaining papers off the desk and grabs Phoebe) You want me to actually throw you or you-you wanna just hop?
Phoebe: I can hop. (She hops onto the table)
Monica: I'm sorry, okay. It's just that Chandler has somebody, and Phoebe has somebody- I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby.
Max: Phoebe. Hi.
Phoebe: Oh, hi Max! Hey, do you know everybody?
Phoebe: No, no, he hasn't been around.
Phoebe: Minsk?
Phoebe: I know where Minsk is.
Phoebe: So when, when do you leave?
[Scene: Max and David's lab, they are working. Phoebe knocks on the door]
Phoebe: Hello?
Phoebe: Hi.
Phoebe: Um, well, Max told me about Minsk, so (Puts on a fake cheery voice) congratulations! This is so exciting!
Phoebe: Oh, you're not going? (Fake disappointed voice) Oh, why?
Phoebe: So-so you're really not going?
Phoebe: Oh don't do that.
Phoebe: Oh no no.
Phoebe: Oh, but I can't do that-
Phoebe: It's your thing, and-
Phoebe: Okay, um, stay.
Phoebe: Stay.
Phoebe: Getting so good at that! (She hops on)
Phoebe: And then... your face is bloated?
Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.
(David is feeding Phoebe popcorn. Max walks up)
Phoebe: Hi, Max!
Phoebe: Are you alright?
(Phoebe leads David into a bedroom)
Phoebe: You're going to Minsk.
Phoebe: Oh, you are so going to Minsk. You belong in Minsk. You can't stay here just 'cause of me.
Phoebe: Oh yes, yes, yes you can. Just say, um, 'Phoebe, my work is my life and that's what I have to do right now'. And I say 'your work?! Your work?! How can you say that?!'. And then you say, um, 'it's tearing me apart, but I have no choice. Can't you understand that?'. And I say (Hits him) 'no! No! I can't understand that!'.
Phoebe: Ooh, sorry. Um, and, and then you put your arms around me. And then you put your arms around me. (He does so) And, um, and then you tell me that you love me and you'll never forget me.
Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.
Phoebe: Everybody looks so happy. I hate that.
Phoebe: I dunno. I don't feel like kissing anyone tonight.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there. Bonnie is telling them of her sex-capades.]
(Luisa nods, but then Monica and Phoebe run in)
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, listen, umm, Mom, I hope you know you still mean a lot to me. And youre welcome to come back anytime.
Phoebe: Wow. So then did you make it with beef or Eggplant?
Phoebe: (entering) Oh good, you're all up.
Rachel: Phoebe, are you okay?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, that's over.
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Well, I'm kinda on a clock here.
Phoebe: (smiling) Maybe your scene's coming up?
Phoebe: Bye!
Phoebe: You wanna be on my list too? Keep talking! Has anyone seem my list by the way?
Phoebe: Yeah, but Jason's really sensitive.
Phoebe: Look, he gave me his night vision goggles and everything.
Phoebe: Oh, Greg and Jenny yuck! (Angrily) Hi Greg, Im Chandler this is Monica. Hi Monica, this is Jenny. Hi Jenny. Hi Greg.
Phoebe: Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now.
Phoebe: Hi! Oh, Alice, hi! Thanks. Im so glad you could come, cause Ive got a real umm, Home Ec emergency. (Points to the table cloth, which has a huge mustard stain on it.)
(Suddenly, Phoebes boss, Mrs. Potter, and a client, Mr. Simon, enters.)
Phoebe: Maybe, because you told him not to.
Phoebe: Yeah, I've been around.
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
[Scene, Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Rachel is there.]
Phoebe: Oh hey Joey! What's up?
Phoebe: Oh wait, I change my mind! (She slams the door on them.) Okay, let's talk about the party! I have so many ideas! (Holds up a cocktail napkin.)
Joey: Hang up, hang up. (reaches with his good arm, but Phoebe grabs it and he tries to reach the phone with his other arm but can't because of the sling.)
Phoebe: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?
Phoebe: Um-hmm. Oh wait! This is Bonnie. (who has hair by the way)
Phoebe: We did! We violated Section 12 Paragraph 7 of the criminal code!
Phoebe: Yes. Once. Yeah, a little. He kinda did it to himself. It's not really a good story.
Phoebe: It's fun, God I love how sexy I am. (Coughs really loudly.)
Phoebe: Oh, I believe it. I think the baby can totally hear everything. I can show you. Look, this will seem a little weird, but you put your head inside this turkey, and then we'll all talk, and you'll hear everything we say.
Phoebe: Right. (She turns and opens her eyes in shock.)
Phoebe: Bye!
Phoebe: But I like it here!
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: I don't know! I don't remember!
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Here he is.
Phoebe: Well, I can't help you.
[Scene: A restaurant, Phoebe and Jim are on their date.]
Monica: They really were pretty, werent they? (Rachel and Phoebe both agree)
Phoebe: Oh good! Because we have an "I'm sorry" song.
Phoebe: No.
Dr. Harad: Hi! Phoebe, I'm Dr. Harad, I'm going to be delivering your babies. I want you to know, you're gonna be in good hands. I've been doing this for a long time. I'll be back in a minute to do your internal, in the meantime, just relax because everything here looks great. And also, I love Fonzie. (Exits)
Phoebe: No that made me feel precious.
Phoebe: I do!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey and Phoebe are there. There is a white crib decorated with balloons in the middle of the apartment. Also, there are boxes all over the apartment. Joey is working on something on the coffee table.]
Phoebe: What's in the bag?
Phoebe: But on the southern route there's a chicken that plays tic-tac-toe.
Phoebe: Hey, dude!
PHOEBE: Ya know, in all the years that we have been grandmother and granddaughter, you have never lied to me.
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
Phoebe: Garfunkle.
Monica: Phoebe, do you want to go see a movie after dinner tonight?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
Phoebe: You said I was boring--Ohh!
Phoebe: Okay, those are my sunglasses, you borrowed them from me.
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
Phoebe: Apology accepted.
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
Phoebe: Oh-ooh, and I brought Operation, but umm I lost the umm (It starts buzzing) Its making a noise.
Phoebe: Okay, so its probably just the Ross thing then.
Phoebe: Sure! Where is it?
Phoebe: It will be in a minute. Listen, Tim youre a really great guy.
Phoebe: Ohh! So you're 5639?!
Phoebe: Oh wait, my grandmother's dead.
Phoebe: Who was that?
[Cut to Phoebe]
Phoebe: Yeah! (She hands the phone to Chandler.)
[Cut to Phoebe]
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes telling everyone what she found out at Ursulas while sitting in Central Perk.]
Phoebe: Which Richard?
Phoebe: Wow! I owe Rachel 20 bucks!
Phoebe: On a totally different bet.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Yknow what? Im not talking to you! You go back to sleep! (To the hitchhiker) And you, are you a rapist?!
Gary: (To Phoebe) Would you like some more coffee, baby-doll?
Phoebe: Yeah, but then Jacques Cousteau came and he kicked his ass for betraying me! It was soo cool! Then, he took me diving and he introduced me to his pet seahorse, who, by the way, was totally coming on to me, and please, that is not gonna happen.
Phoebe: Naked alone time.
Phoebe: I will replace it, I promise. I feel so terrible.
Chandler: Phoebe knows about us!
Phoebe: I mean... (David kisses Phoebe on the cheek, makes his way to the door and turns around again)
Phoebe: (sitting down) Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing.
Phoebe: Okay, London 1
Phoebe: You ask us to find you a guy and you come traipsing in here with your own!
Phoebe: But again, Simmons. Go on.
Phoebe: Thanks! Okay. (They sit down.)
Phoebe: Okay, Rachel, get me perfume!
Phoebe: Its a Ms. Pac-Man machine!!
Monica: Phoebe, you'll catch pneumonia.
Phoebe: So you're a gladiator! Wow!
Phoebe: Yeah, that was Leslie calling again to see if we can get back together. Thats the twentieth time today! And good luck Leslie!
Phoebe: Oh, sure! (She gets up to leave.) Bye Ross! (Whispering behind his back.) Forever.
Phoebe: Oh, well get in line missy. (To Ross) So, can I have a ride stud?
Phoebe: Okay! Thanks! Happy Holidays, here's your joy. (She waves her arm and spreads her joy.)
Phoebe: Wow! And hey, its cool if youre a lesbian! (Gives her a thumbs up)
Monica: Ditch you? Phoebe, you were pregnant with the triplets!
Phoebe: Thanks.
Phoebe: Oh, in that case(hops up and down in joy)Yay! (Monica looks confused) That was me hopping on board.
Phoebe: Oh no. Could I get anyone a coffee or poison? No? Just for me? Okay. (Walks away.)
(Paolo enters. Ross, Phoebe, and Monica scatter)