words in movies
Phoebe: That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing. Joey is not there.]
Phoebe: So you guys, I'm doing all new material tonight. I have twelve new songs about my mother's suicide, and one about a snowman.
Phoebe: Yeah, you wish!
Rachel: Phoebe, you're on.
Phoebe: Oh, oh, good.
Rachel: (Into microphone) Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooh!
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
Phoebe: (Sung)
(Over the sound of Phoebe singing we hear two scientists, Max and David, having a noisy discussion)
Phoebe: (Sung)
Phoebe: Well, c'mon, if it's important enough to discuss while I'm playing, then I assume it's important enough for everyone else to hear!
Phoebe: Could you speak up please?
Phoebe: Okay, we're gonna take a short break. (Goes over to their table)
Phoebe: David's like, y'know, Scientist Guy. He's very methodical.
Phoebe: Me too! Oh! Did you ever see An Officer and a Gentleman?
Phoebe: Well, he's kinda like the guy I went to see that with. Except, except he-he's smarter, and gentler, and sweeter... I just- I just wanna be with him all the time. Day and night, and night and day... and special occasions...
Phoebe: No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, could I just?
[Scene: Max and David's lab, David is explaining something to Phoebe with the aid of a whiteboard.]
Phoebe: Okay, alright, I have a question, then.
Phoebe: Um, were you planning on kissing me ever?
Phoebe: Sure.
Phoebe: Oh, David, I, I think you are a sweeping sorta fella. I mean, you're a sweeper! ...trapped inside a physicist's body.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, oh, I'm sure of it. You should just do it, just sweep and throw me.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, right now.
Phoebe: Okay, now you're just kinda tidying.
David: Okay, what the hell, what the hell. (Sweeps the remaining papers off the desk and grabs Phoebe) You want me to actually throw you or you-you wanna just hop?
Phoebe: I can hop. (She hops onto the table)
Monica: I'm sorry, okay. It's just that Chandler has somebody, and Phoebe has somebody- I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby.
Max: Phoebe. Hi.
Phoebe: Oh, hi Max! Hey, do you know everybody?
Phoebe: No, no, he hasn't been around.
Phoebe: Minsk?
Phoebe: I know where Minsk is.
Phoebe: So when, when do you leave?
[Scene: Max and David's lab, they are working. Phoebe knocks on the door]
Phoebe: Hello?
Phoebe: Hi.
Phoebe: Um, well, Max told me about Minsk, so (Puts on a fake cheery voice) congratulations! This is so exciting!
Phoebe: Oh, you're not going? (Fake disappointed voice) Oh, why?
Phoebe: So-so you're really not going?
Phoebe: Oh don't do that.
Phoebe: Oh no no.
Phoebe: Oh, but I can't do that-
Phoebe: It's your thing, and-
Phoebe: Okay, um, stay.
Phoebe: Stay.
Phoebe: Getting so good at that! (She hops on)
Phoebe: And then... your face is bloated?
Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.
(David is feeding Phoebe popcorn. Max walks up)
Phoebe: Hi, Max!
Phoebe: Are you alright?
(Phoebe leads David into a bedroom)
Phoebe: You're going to Minsk.
Phoebe: Oh, you are so going to Minsk. You belong in Minsk. You can't stay here just 'cause of me.
Phoebe: Oh yes, yes, yes you can. Just say, um, 'Phoebe, my work is my life and that's what I have to do right now'. And I say 'your work?! Your work?! How can you say that?!'. And then you say, um, 'it's tearing me apart, but I have no choice. Can't you understand that?'. And I say (Hits him) 'no! No! I can't understand that!'.
Phoebe: Ooh, sorry. Um, and, and then you put your arms around me. And then you put your arms around me. (He does so) And, um, and then you tell me that you love me and you'll never forget me.
Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.
Phoebe: Everybody looks so happy. I hate that.
Phoebe: I dunno. I don't feel like kissing anyone tonight.
Phoebe: Hey, are Ross and Rachel back?
[Scene: Mike and Phoebe in Phoebe's place, Phoebe is doing a crossword puzzle]
Phoebe: Oh, Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parents anniversary party?
(Phoebe enters the apartment again.)
Phoebe: What? What are you just gonna walk up to her at the gate? Have you never chased anyone through the airport before?
All: Hey Phoebe!
Phoebe: YEAH!
Phoebe: Hey!
(Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: (turns around and hits Frank) So thats what you thought I did!! God! Thats not what I do!
Phoebe: You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and I just- I- (starts chewing her hair)
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Phoebe: Oh before I forget, are you coming to Mike's piano bar tonight?
Phoebe: (singing) "Are you in there little fetus? In nine will you come great us? I will buy you some Adidas."
Chandler: He's probably in his room with his current girlfriend Charlie. That's the situation as we know it... (walks to Phoebe and Monica)
Phoebe: ME TOO! I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD LOVE SOMEONE THIS MUCH!
Phoebe: Oh, it’s the worst way to propose!
Phoebe: Joey, I just think youre getting worked up over nothing. This is probably just a crush.
Alice: Hi, Phoebe! We were just at the drugstore and we got you a little present.
Phoebe: Well, mine was worse than that.
Rachel: Phoebe, that’s huge!
[Scene: Monica’s Apartment. Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there, Phoebe enters the room]
Phoebe: (To Rachel and Ross) Well, do you think I should propose?
Phoebe: Ok, ok, so how should I do it?
Phoebe: Ok, ok, you start preparing the formula and I start changing the box and then we gotta put them straight to bed.
PHOEBE: Yeah, come on. You know you want it, you know you want it too, come on. Let's just be bad, it'll feel so good. [She starts scratching him.]
Phoebe: Well, yeah. Y'know, we were best friends, ever since we were little, our Moms worked on the barge together.
[Scene: Outside the Nursery, Ross is looking at Emma as Phoebe walks up.]
Phoebe: Rachel, listenI mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.
Phoebe: That's not very enlightened!
Phoebe: Well, I think you should wait.
Phoebe: Uhuh, uhuh... (seems distracted)
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!
Phoebe: Yknow, this is probably none of my business, but werent you guys supposed to not be seen in public together?
Phoebe: Mike Hannigan... will you marry me? (Mike looks bewildered)
Phoebe: Hey, hey! (shouting) Boo us? Boo you!
Phoebe: Right! Never! Never! I swear! (They kiss... The door opens and David comes in again.)
(Chandler hands Phoebe an envelope, and some more to Monica)
Phoebe: Oh, god. So adorable. Look at them sleeping there like angels.
[Scene: Mike and Phoebe at a restaurant.]
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: No problem! Next week: stealing... (Chandler walks away to store the box of broken china.)
Mike: Phoebe, I...
(Phoebe has this weird, anxious, nervous look on her face)
Phoebe: It's in the cake, isn't it?
Phoebe: Yes!
Phoebe: Uh-huh! (and now Mike kneels properly)
Phoebe: I love you more!
(They kiss again, and Phoebe looks at the ring.)
Phoebe: (she enters) Hey...
Phoebe: It's so obvious, why doesn't he just ask?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there]
Phoebe: Thank you! (to Rachel) Oh, and I have something for you!
Phoebe: No. I'm sorry. It's just 'cause I couldn't be there. 'Cause all I ever get to do now is pregnant stuff, it just bums me out.
Phoebe: Well, it was really sweet, and like the most romantic thing ever.
[Scene: Another Waiting Room, Phoebe and Joey are trying to find out where the guy with the broken leg is.]
Phoebe: Oh, my first love!
Phoebe: (proud of herself) Oh yes, they are.
Phoebe: I cant say because hes famous.
[The next flashback is from The One With The Dozen Lasagnas, Phoebe is telling everyone but Rachel about the pass Paulo made on her.]
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: And how none of it matters when the people really love each other. (Chandler and Monica kiss.) And how people will believe anything you tell them as long as its a compliment.
Phoebe: (looking at Monica entering) Hey!
Phoebe: All right, let's see, call me mrs Hannigan.
Phoebe: Why, you don't like her?
Phoebe: Really? You think?
Phoebe: (excited) Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle. Oh, this is a cube.
[Scene: Shop, Phoebe and Rachel are talking in front of the dressing room]
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, Monica, I'm really happy you got promoted, but cold cucumber mush for thirty-something bucks? No! Rachel just had that, that, that salad, and, and Joey with his like teeny pizza! It's just...
Phoebe: You mean you stole it! (Monica sneezes again) Don't cover your mouth when you do that!
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe enters the room.]
Phoebe: Hi! Sorry, I'm late.
Amanda: (To Phoebe) Smell my neck! (Phoebe does so) It's not perfume! It's me! It's my natural scent!
Phoebe: Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is dancing around his living room as Phoebe enters, catching and startling him.]
Chandler: (excited) Guys, guys, I've got great news! Guess what Joey: Uh, ah, Monica's pregnant?! Monica: (shocked) Really? (She looks around, suddenly embarrassed) Let's get past the moment. Phoebe: What's your news? Chandler: Thank you. I got a job in advertising. (Everybody cheers) Monica: (hugging Chandler) Oh, honey, that's incredible! Phoebe: (inquisitive) Gosh, what's the pay like? (Everybody stares at her indignantly) Oh, come on people (defending) come on, now, if I don't know who makes the most, how do I know who I like the most! (She looks at Joey) Hey Joey! (Joey winks at her) Chandler: Actually, it pays nothing. It's an internship. Joey: Oh, that's cool. We have interns at 'Days Of Our Lives'. Chandler: Right. So, it'll be the same except less sex with you. (Joey nods) Ross: So, uh, what kinda stuff do you think they'll have you do there? Chandler: Well, it's a training program, but at the end, they hire the people they like. Phoebe: (enthusiastic) That's great. Chandler: Yeah, I mean, there's probably gonna be some ground work which will probably stink, you know, grown man getting people coffee is a little humiliating (At the same time, Gunther puts down a cup of coffee in front of Chandler) Chandler: (grinning awkwardly) Humiliating and noble! (Gunther shoots a nasty look at him while leaving) Ross: You know, if I didn't already have a job, I think, I would have been really good in advertising. Monica: Ross, you did not come up with "got milk?" Ross: Yes, I did, I did! (He turns to Joey, disappointed) I should have written it down!
Phoebe: Umm, Wethering Heights. I'm taking a literature class at the New School and I have to finish it for the first session tomorrow.
Monica: Okay. (When Phoebe turns around Monica runs out into the hall after Mrs. Green.) Mrs. Green! Okay Im really sorry!! Im apologizing for the(She trips and falls down the stairs.) (Pause) Okay, I bit my tongue, but Im still really sorry!
Phoebe: Sorry. ..Y'know, those stupid soda people gave me seven thousand dollars for the thumb.
Phoebe: Hey! (there's a pause)
Phoebe: When I was you! Y'know what, its all Joeys fault, cause he left his nose open!
Phoebe: Ok, don’t hold thy breath!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the next morning, Rachel and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: I knew it!
Phoebe: Okay. Rachel, the hottest babies in the Tri-State Area are in this room right now! I overheard one of the judges say that not one of them holds a candle to Emma!
Phoebe: You're also so generous and kind and scrappy!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So what did you two do about it?
Phoebe: You guys, we�ve been waiting for you for a long time, maybe you should order.
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is coming up the stairs as Phoebe leaves Joey and Chandlers.]
Phoebe: Mr. X and Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: Sure, I so glad we did this. It feels so good!
Phoebe: City Hall.
Phoebe: Well, I’ll just ask for it back!
Phoebe: Yeah. See, that money was for a big wedding, that we thought we didn’t want, but it turns out we do.
Phoebe: Hey, that’s not fair! A person’s wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn’t have a graduation party! And I didn’t go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to “kill me” or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.( She storms out)
Phoebe (to Mike): Gay, go.
Phoebe: Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room.
Phoebe: Yes!! Yes!! Im the next caller! You were gonna have me hang up.
(We hear the guy telling a joke, and Phoebe laughing.)