words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
PHOEBE: Oh, some guy she met at the movies.
PHOEBE: Hang in there, it's gonna happen.
PHOEBE: Because she's your lobster.
PHOEBE: C'mon you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, ya know, holding claws like. . .
PHOEBE: So, do you have any other possibilities?
PHOEBE: What is that sparkly thing?
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on couches. A beautiful woman is looking at Chandler.]
PHOEBE: Do you want a refill?
PHOEBE: OK. Ooh, OK, you gotta give me a second, I wanna get this just right. [she sticks out her gut, clears her throat and sniffs her nose and then in her best male voice. . .] Dude, 11 o'clock, totally hot babe checkin' you out. That was really good, I think I'm ready for my penis now.
PHOEBE: It's not that bad.
PHOEBE: Chandler, Chandler.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
PHOEBE: I think she's OK.
PHOEBE: Do the claws again.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe enter.]
PHOEBE: Would you stop already? Get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay.
PHOEBE: Hey now you have two. [Chandler looks annoyed] Oh, now you have two.
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
PHOEBE: See, he's her lobster.
Phoebe: No, wait, oh, what are we sorry about?
Phoebe and Rachel: Hey!
PHOEBE: Ooh, look at you fancy lads. What's the occasion?
Phoebe: Okay!
Phoebe: Oh really. Okay. let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffee house, I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone-who took it?
(He gets up and gives Monica a rather passionate kiss as Rachel and Phoebe look on in amazement. After the kiss ends, Chandler suddenly realizes what he just did, so he decides to do something rather rash.)
Phoebe: I am definitely gonna watch that!
Phoebe: The coins have finally forgiven me!
Phoebe: We want you to marry her!
Phoebe: Whatever.
Rachel: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Yeah, but you always say that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are drinking coffee and Phoebe notices a cute guy checking them out.]
Phoebe: Oh no.
Phoebe: (to the girls) Hi! Hi! Listen, my friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time, but wouldnt you date him?
Phoebe and Rachel: A birthday party.
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, we forgot that party we have to go to.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Didnt you sleep together?
Phoebe: Then change it back!
Phoebe: Really, it doesn't mean anything. I mean, you know, Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time!
Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?
Phoebe: Well, yknow I may have relatives in France who would know. My grandmother said she got the recipe from her grandmother, Nesele Tolouse.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So how was, how was your date?
Phoebe: (sarcastic) Ah, yeah, he's so adorable, God, he's just so much fun, Joey is the best, I'm glad you're having so much fun here. (She turns around, about to leave)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is still investigating the smoke detector trying to figure out how to stop the beeping.]
Phoebe: Oh really? She said she wants to go away with you?
Phoebe and Rachel: Oh no, yeah.
Phoebe: We found your test in the trash, if youre not pregnant(She sees Rachel shaking her head)Its because I am.
Phoebe: You guys, what was the Powerball number again?
Carol: (running over and grabbing the phone away from Ross) (on phone) Phoebe, hang on a second. (Hands Ross her keys) Here, take my car, go pick up your friends.
Phoebe: Hey you guys I'm gonna go out and take a walk.
Phoebe: Oh, it's not!
Ross: Phoebe, why is your bag moving?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, who's this?
Phoebe: No, there's no dog here?
[Scene: Phoebes office, she is arriving without the knowledge that shes been fired.]
Monica: Phoebe, there's a dog sitting on my couch!
Monica: Phoebe, why is there a dog in our apartment?
Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe: Shhhh!
Monica: (walks to Phoebe's door) Phoebe! Phoebe, open up!
Rachel: Phoebe you cant have both of them! You have to pick one!
Monica and Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe: Are you crazy?
Phoebe: Oh right, because youre so capable of change.
Rachel: Okay Phoebe calm down, theres no need to place blame. Okay? (To the fireman) I warned her about those candles.
[Scene: The delivery room, Chandler, Frank, and Ross are with Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Yeah, okay.
Phoebe: Where's Chandler?
Phoebe: (to the students) Oh, Im sorry. Im so rude. Does anyone want to come to the movies?
Monica: Okay Phoebe, we should probably go back now.
Phoebe: Wash your hands!!!
Phoebe: Yeah, but you kinda knew that something was going on, didn't you?
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is pacing back and forth waiting for someone.]
Phoebe: It's, I mean, it's nothing, I'm fine. It's my friends. They-they have a liking problem with you. In that, um, they don't.
PHOEBE: Why are you guys so upset? It's Old Yeller, it's a happy movie.
Phoebe and Leslie: (singing) Sticky shoes, sticky shoes, always make me smile. Sticky shoes, sticky shoes, next time Ill.... avoid the..... pillleeeee.
Phoebe: Oh please, you are not gonna ditch again like you did with London.
Phoebe: It's a Thanksgiving miracle!
Phoebe: Watching ballroom dancing?
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by carrying a lamp.]
[Scene: Hospital. Phoebe is there stroking Coma Guy's hair, when Monica enters with a bunch of balloons.]
Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.
Phoebe: His first big kids bike, this is so exciting!
Phoebe: Let's see! (Opens her address book.) Oh, you know who's great? Sandy Poophack.
Jack: (approaches her) Phoebe, listen
Phoebe: So, how are things going with crazy? Has she cooked your rabbit yet?
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Phoebe: (interrupting him) I was just being polite!
Phoebe: Sure!
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: I love it!!
Phoebe: And if that guy at the charity gives us a hard time, my friend hasn't shot anyone in a really long time.
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God Ross!!
Phoebe: No-no, itll be fun! We can come back and we can haunt these guys!
Phoebe: Oh hi!
Ross: Phoebe really likes the bike huh?
Phoebe: So far, it kinda blows. I dont know, I just thought y'know that hed feel more like a brother y'know, like you and Ross, just like close and connected and....
Phoebe: Of course!
[Cut to outside, theyre going to talk to Phoebe about walking the bike.]
Phoebe: (gasps) Does that mean Carcass is available?
Phoebe: Ohh, uh-huh so much!
Phoebe: No that's not true. If you're not moving forward, you're just staying still. And staying still is good. Watch this. (She stays still for a brief second.)
Chandler: Phoebe, are you having a heart attack?!
Phoebe: Why? Why do I have to learn?
Phoebe: What kind of an emergency?
Phoebe: All right.
Phoebe: Well
Phoebe: Okay. (Does so.)
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Swear?!
Phoebe: You wont let go?
Phoebe: (thinks it over) Okay.
Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.
(Joey throws a punch and just lightly taps her on the shoulder, Phoebe counters with a jab to the nose.)
Tag: Id love to ask out your friend Phoebe.
Phoebe: Oh! Oh! Oh no!! You swore!