words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
PHOEBE: Oh, some guy she met at the movies.
PHOEBE: Hang in there, it's gonna happen.
PHOEBE: Because she's your lobster.
PHOEBE: C'mon you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, ya know, holding claws like. . .
PHOEBE: So, do you have any other possibilities?
PHOEBE: What is that sparkly thing?
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on couches. A beautiful woman is looking at Chandler.]
PHOEBE: Do you want a refill?
PHOEBE: OK. Ooh, OK, you gotta give me a second, I wanna get this just right. [she sticks out her gut, clears her throat and sniffs her nose and then in her best male voice. . .] Dude, 11 o'clock, totally hot babe checkin' you out. That was really good, I think I'm ready for my penis now.
PHOEBE: It's not that bad.
PHOEBE: Chandler, Chandler.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
PHOEBE: I think she's OK.
PHOEBE: Do the claws again.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe enter.]
PHOEBE: Would you stop already? Get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay.
PHOEBE: Hey now you have two. [Chandler looks annoyed] Oh, now you have two.
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
PHOEBE: See, he's her lobster.
Phoebe: But now she'll never know how he feels!
(Phoebe snaps the ball to Monica, who pitches back to Rachel.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.]
[Scene: Central Perk, the next day, Phoebe is there.]
Phoebe: Oh, yay!
Phoebe: (shocked) You work with robots!!
Phoebe: Well, I didn't get embarrassed running next to Miss (panting). But no, okay. No, no, I can see why running with me would be embarrassing to you. Yeah, okay. You're uptight.
Monica: Phoebe! Come on! Lets go! (Knocks on her door.) Come on! (Phoebe enters with guitar and not ready to go.) Why arent you dressed yet?!
Phoebe: If shes no fun, why do you want to date her at all?
Phoebe: Oh, I-I gave them the puppy and it made them so happy that I decided Im gonna carry their baby.
Rachel: (to Monica and Phoebe) Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me!
Phoebe: (on phone from Central Perk) Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I just went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Phoebe: Umm, no, it's a purse. And there's a thermos in it.
Phoebe: Oh, good, that's good, but you don't look like you were mugged!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: I know, Im sorry! But yknow, this ring is better! Monica never even saw the other ring.
Phoebe: Theres sooo much you dont know.
Chandler: Oh yeah, then uh, what was Phoebes song about?
Phoebe: So, did you pick one yet?
PHOEBE: OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. [singing] Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...
Joey: (to Leslie) So ah, Phoebe tells us you write jingles.
Ross: Catch any big fish? (Phoebe, Ross, and Monica all go over to him.)
Phoebe: Well look, you dont really like the one from uptown and youre too exhausted from dating the one up in Poughkeepsie, so I say you just end them both. Okay? You take a train up to Poughkeepsie and break up with her, and on your way back you break up with uptown. And then by the time you get home tonight, youre done!
Phoebe: Umm listen, I dont think I dont think Im gonna make it to the wedding. So I just want to wish you all the luck in the world.
Phoebe: "No time for losers, 'cause we are the champions of the world...!" Thank you!
Phoebe: What?! Oh my... (sees the remains of the house) Oh my God!! What happened?!
PHOEBE: Yeah, I don't know.
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe is still ringing her bell. A guy puts some change into the bucket.]
PHOEBE: It could be like a big giant guy.
Phoebe: I just felt so bad, missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know. As long as I'm back in five or six hours, it will be alright.
Phoebe: All right, Im gonna go take a pregnancy test, right now.
Rachel: Phoebe, the place has emptied because of him.
Phoebe: Yeah
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!!
Phoebe: I know!
Phoebe: Yeah, whats your point?
Phoebe: How'd he take it?
Phoebe: Well the doctor says it takes a couple days, but my bodys always been a little faster than Western medicine.
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Phoebe Sr: Its open! Come in!
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh hey, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy is putting stuff in boxes!
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Im sorry, Im late.
Phoebe: Okay umm, well, first Chandler and Monica will get married and be filthy rich by the way. Yeah. But it wont work out.
Phoebe Sr: Hi!
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Why not?
Phoebe: Wow! You really go all out when youre expecting company.
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, theres a knock on the door.]
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe Sr: No-no-no, the-the puppys yours.
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I-I cantI mean yknow I was trying to be really y'know okay and upbeat about it, I justI feel so dwarfed by your musical gift. I
Phoebe: All right, Im sorry.
Phoebe: I'm not going along with some lie you made Ross, No I'm just gonna be honest with him.
Phoebe: So okay what? Youre gonna be married to a girl who doesnt even know about it?!Op, woman! Sorry.
Phoebe: Okay, what about after I give you these candies? (Hands them each one from her purse.)
Phoebe: Congratulations! I didnt want to say anything in front of Joey cause I didnt know if he knew yet.
Phoebe: (Her face dropping) Oh, really.
Phoebe: How could you say yes, what about our catering business?
Phoebe: Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black.
Phoebe: Oh. Oh.
Phoebe: Ooh that is definitely Chandler, Joey, or Ross. (Thinks) Or-or Rachel!
Phoebe: Great. (Goes to take the test.)
Phoebe: Hey! Umm, well, only okay because I just got back from, from the hospital.
Phoebe: Ooh, I gotta go. I found a guy that who could fix up the van for catering.
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! Youre gonna have a baby! Theyre gonna have a baby!
Phoebe: Yeah, but youve got to pull yourself together! Monica cant see you like this! Then shell know somethings wrong!
Phoebe: I got no sleep last night!
Phoebe: That sounds great!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Ooh! How was Kathys play?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is still unpacking after the move, and Phoebe is their also.]
Phoebe: Yeah. Lets see, my had Mom killed herself, and my Dad had run off, and I was living in a Gremlin with a guy named Cindy who talked to his hand.
Phoebe: Oh. Okay. Oo, sorry I acted like a bank.
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, listen. Well, I think we gotta go. This place is really freaking me out. I've been watching this guy over there, I don't think he came with a kid!
Phoebe: Yeah, but remember you said you ordered something special, and it just hasn't come yet?
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
Phoebe: I dont know, but were having dinner tomorrow night, so I figured, shes gonna tell me then. Y'know maybe she just wanted to give him time to, buy me presents, I dont know! So, youre all bored?
Joey: Oh come on! Just pick one! Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross if you had to, if you had to, who would you punch?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
Phoebe: Rachel has a new doll.
Phoebe: What? What?
(Chandler, Ross, and Phoebe all stop dead in their tracks at the news.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I dont need it.
Phoebe: Excuse me, but umm, isnt he paying for your dinner?
Phoebe: Oh, are we gonna trash that place?
Phoebe: Wait a minute.
Phoebe: Well, I would love to but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. (Ross just happens to have his hand on a sheet that is covering something that suspiciously looks like a bike.)
[Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter, confused.]
Phoebe: Why dont you ask him out?
Phoebe: Oh, please!
Phoebe: He just got a divorce right?
(Phoebe looks at him, and then giggles and looks away.)
[Scene: Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica comforting Joey at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
Phoebe: No, sorry.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Hey.