words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
PHOEBE: Oh, some guy she met at the movies.
PHOEBE: Hang in there, it's gonna happen.
PHOEBE: Because she's your lobster.
PHOEBE: C'mon you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, ya know, holding claws like. . .
PHOEBE: So, do you have any other possibilities?
PHOEBE: What is that sparkly thing?
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on couches. A beautiful woman is looking at Chandler.]
PHOEBE: Do you want a refill?
PHOEBE: OK. Ooh, OK, you gotta give me a second, I wanna get this just right. [she sticks out her gut, clears her throat and sniffs her nose and then in her best male voice. . .] Dude, 11 o'clock, totally hot babe checkin' you out. That was really good, I think I'm ready for my penis now.
PHOEBE: It's not that bad.
PHOEBE: Chandler, Chandler.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
PHOEBE: I think she's OK.
PHOEBE: Do the claws again.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe enter.]
PHOEBE: Would you stop already? Get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay.
PHOEBE: Hey now you have two. [Chandler looks annoyed] Oh, now you have two.
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
PHOEBE: See, he's her lobster.
Phoebe: Oh! I sous stand.
Phoebe: Perhaps because you gave her an engagement ring? Yknow Ross doctors are supposed to be smart.
Phoebe: Oh good! (And theres general excitement.)
Phoebe: Okay, Im gonna go get Frank. (exits)
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking down it and passes Ursula.]
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Really?
Phoebe: Now wasnt Joey hitting on her at the wedding too?
Phoebe: Yeah. Okay. Umm, yknow, my friends are having a Halloween party tonight at my old apartment so, you could come. Maybe I could meet the guy youre marrying.
Phoebe: Wait a second! So, whats new with you?
Phoebe: (looks down) No. But thanks. (Walks away.)
Phoebe: No, its me. Phoebe!
Phoebe: (To Chandler) That is so you!
Phoebe: No wonder your pregnant.
Phoebe: Because Im dumping him today.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Oh-oh no she doesnt! I know what that is. You can stay.
Phoebe: Ursulas fianc�e?
Phoebe: I cant believe he taped the two of them having sex!
Phoebe: I love the second grade!
Phoebe: Thank you.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: Oh my God, Phoebe!
Phoebe: Oh, okay... good. You do that. And then when you get home, maybe there'll be a special delivery package waiting for you.
Phoebe: Oh really?
Phoebe: Two weeks? Thats it?
[Cut to Phoebe and Eric.]
Phoebe: Huh? (Ursula motions for Phoebe to keep quiet.)
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know, I don't know. I think that's a little weird, y'know? Vinyl.
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe is exiting Monica and Chandlers, and finds Ursula standing in the hallway smoking.]
Phoebe: Well, if that's what they do in Minsk... (They kiss 2 on each cheek... and then they pause... David turns to the door) In New York... it's... (and then David grabs her by her neck and kisses her full on the lips... They kiss passionately and cannot seem to stop.)
Phoebe: But theyre not!
Phoebe: Why are you lying to him?
Phoebe: You too. And Ursula?! It was really nice meeting you tonight!!
Eric: (To Phoebe) Well, it was nice meeting you.
Phoebe: Yeah, I Well yknow I-I mean I missed the-the semi-finals, so Id just be lost.
Phoebe: Hmm?
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh God!
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Sure it does. Yeah, yeah.
Phoebe: Okay I cant let you do this! Shes lying to you.
(Ross laughs and Phoebe points harder.)
Phoebe: Yeah, you should. (They shake hands.)
Phoebe: No. Youre not, youre not stupid.
(Phoebe hands Eric Ursulas purse and he walks away.)
Phoebe: Well Im sorry, I thought you said it was okay.
Phoebe: Why are you looking at me like that?
Phoebe: Her name is Precious? Is she a purebreed or did you pick her up at the pound?
Phoebe: I'll find Bob, I'll get him. Bob? (starts looking) Bob! Robert! (looks at cabinet under sink) Oh wait, I think I hear him. Oh - Oh my god! Bob had babies! Bob's a mom!
Phoebe: Wow! What an incredible violationand wonderful surprise.
Phoebe: No! Wait! I was just saying that so youd think I was a good person. Fight for me.
Phoebe: Shhh! Im talking.
Phoebe: Oh you did? (To Rachel) He did it! He did it!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are all there as Phoebe enters dejectedly.]
Phoebe: Okay, sorry. Yeah. (They go inside to confront the father.)
Phoebe: So long! Dont let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on your way out! (He exits and she slams the door behind him.)
PHOEBE: Alright, I'm, I'm gonna go. I'm sorry about the dog, everything. I'm sorry.
Phoebe: Great, all right, okay, and Monica ask me to make the drumming stop.
Phoebe: Oh! We could have done that.
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Yeah. (Covers her face with her hand.) Yeah.
Phoebe: Maybe this is too weird.
Phoebe: Well at least all my songs don't taste like garlic. Yeah, there are other ingredients Monica.
Phoebe: No, I know what a silent is I meant, whats going on with your hair?
Phoebe: It's ok. I thought of the perfect lie for you. It's easy to remember and doesn't invite a lot of questions. You weren't at the parade because you had a family emergency.
Phoebe: Someday I'll, tell you about the time I stabbed the cop.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch as Joey and Ross enter.]
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Didn't I just throw you out of here?
Phoebe: Really? Thats the thing Im worse at! Youll see. (Exits.)
Phoebe: Hi liar!
[Scene: The Hospital, Phoebe is arriving with Ross, Joey, and Rachel in tow.]
Phoebe: I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! (Monica looks at her strangely) Im kidding. (She smiles wickedly.)
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe: What sex?
Phoebe: You-you you had sex with Ursula?!
Phoebe: We didnt have sex.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah, so do you.
Phoebe: So I guess this is it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, the next morning, Monica and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: Oh. Ew! Ew! Ew! Ugh! Yknow what? This is too weird.
Phoebe: (nasally) Greg and Jenny?
Monica: (Gets up) Okay, okay. You two (to Phoebe and Rachel) go get the dessert. And I'll let you in.
Phoebe: No, its New York magazine. Its an article about the best schools in the city. So how well do you know Sting?
Phoebe: Okay so, well just come up with some kind of signal if its going well you can take off.
Phoebe: Huh?
Phoebe: Well, I just got off the phone with my lover, James Brolin
Phoebe: Oh. Why not?
Phoebe: Sure. Yeah, hes kinda sexy.
Rachel: No Phoebe! I just need you there for support. I havent told him Im pregnant yet.
Phoebe: Wow! Oh well, I will be there!
Phoebe: Oh my God!!! Monica!! Hes the stripper from your bachelorette party!!
Phoebe: Oh, I-I dont eat meat.
Phoebe: Yeah, I dont eat that either.
Phoebe: Rachel!
Phoebe: HeyOoh, hows Hilda? Is she working out?
Rachel: Phoebe!
Phoebe: No look, weve apologized twice! I cant do anymore than that. I know you hate it when people are mad at you but you just have to be okay with it.