words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
PHOEBE: Oh, some guy she met at the movies.
PHOEBE: Hang in there, it's gonna happen.
PHOEBE: Because she's your lobster.
PHOEBE: C'mon you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, ya know, holding claws like. . .
PHOEBE: So, do you have any other possibilities?
PHOEBE: What is that sparkly thing?
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on couches. A beautiful woman is looking at Chandler.]
PHOEBE: Do you want a refill?
PHOEBE: OK. Ooh, OK, you gotta give me a second, I wanna get this just right. [she sticks out her gut, clears her throat and sniffs her nose and then in her best male voice. . .] Dude, 11 o'clock, totally hot babe checkin' you out. That was really good, I think I'm ready for my penis now.
PHOEBE: It's not that bad.
PHOEBE: Chandler, Chandler.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
PHOEBE: I think she's OK.
PHOEBE: Do the claws again.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe enter.]
PHOEBE: Would you stop already? Get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay.
PHOEBE: Hey now you have two. [Chandler looks annoyed] Oh, now you have two.
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
PHOEBE: See, he's her lobster.
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Phoebe: See, that just means it's working. Does this hurt? (presses down elsewhere)
Phoebe: Sure, yeah, no I can do that, yeah, because umm, y'know, the muscles in the siadic area can get yknow, real (lifts up the towel) nice and tight. So umm, tell me Rick, how umm, how did you injure the area.
PHOEBE: Great, I'm seeing water rings again.
Phoebe: Okay. (Reads the leaves) Umm, oh! Okay, I see a circle.
Phoebe: Yep! As long as you understand that I'm going to call my lawyer and once he puts you on the stand he'll make you look like a fool. A fool!
Phoebe: (whispers) In the cab, on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie.
Ross: Okay, Phoebe just-just get-get on the bike andHey! Ill hold you up and-and push you. Okay?
Lizzie: What? (She opens the envelope Phoebe has given her.) Oh my God, there's really money in here.
Phoebe: Ooh, oh, I've gotta go. (raises) Whoa, oh, head rush. One more, and then I have to go. (sits down, and then raises again) Cool!
Phoebe: Umm, Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: So instead you told me Monica was pregnant.
Phoebe: No-no, I know that, but I just have to make enough money for the second part of my plan.
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
Phoebe: Ohhh.
Phoebe: Ohh, tough call.
Phoebe: Get your foot off my contestant! Judge!
Phoebe and Rachel: Ewwww!!
Phoebe: You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you.
Phoebe: I am soo dead. (goes to Monicas room)
PHOEBE: You know, I think I want to write a song about all this.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you asking me to have a frenaissance?
Guy: (To Phoebe) Oh, excuse me! I think you dropped s (looks at Phoebe.) Wow!
Phoebe: Oh, please!
Joey: (to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin?
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Wait! Maybe, maybe youre overreacting! You do that yknow.
Lizzie: Keep the change. (To Phoebe) Sure you don't wanna pretzel?
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: I know. I know, whats her number?
(Theres a knock on door, and Phoebe opens it.)
Phoebe: Hmm, okay, total abandonment. Okay, reasons for abandonment, A. Top secret government work, B. Amnesia, or C. Or you're just a selfish, irresponsible bad, bad man?
Phoebe: Isnt it at three?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is placing CDs into her antique apothecary table as Phoebe returns home.]
Phoebe: Im not writing about you! Im writing about other people.
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, let's see. (she takes her mobile phone) Ok, duck down. (they both get down to hide themselves. Phoebe calls Chandler)
Phoebe: No. Its all right; its probably false labour. They said that, that can happen near the end, just somebody get the book.
Ross: What?! While shes been going through this hell, youve been making money?! Youre betting on your friend staying in this misery?! (Phoebe lowers her head and shakes it yes.)
Phoebe: She cant hear you.
Phoebe: For how long?
Phoebe: How about you less important people, lets open your presents!
Phoebe: Okay, this is from your friend at work.
Phoebe: I cant. I cant believe I have plans, I cant. Can you do it tomorrow night though?
Phoebe: No, no, I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime, and their, their corpses grotesquely dressed in like tinsel and twinkly lights. (to Joey) Hey, how do you sleep at night?
Phoebe: Not if you were here.
(Phoebe goes over to speak to Janice. She talks to her for a few seconds, and then Janice immediately smiles, hugs her, waves to Chandler, and leaves.)
Phoebe: No, not a thing.
Phoebe: Hey! Why are you all red and sweaty?
Monica: Uh, Chandler did! What does he want you to give up? Phoebe: A bunch of stuff. And the worst one... he wants me to get rid of Gladys.
Monica: (laughs) Youre still so funny. Youre so funny. (To Phoebe) What do I do?
Phoebe: Uh-huh!
Phoebe: You got it!
Phoebe: (To Monica) Wrap it up, wrap it up, wrap it up
Phoebe: Really? Lee Majors is hot!
Phoebe: You should be!
Phoebe: You were fantastic! Im so proud of you!
Rachel: Hey you guys, this is my sister Amy. This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and you know Mon.
Phoebe: Its just y'know, been a couple of hours, and she hasnt called. Not that I even care, y'know.
Phoebe: Listen Ross, we ran out of gas, and we dont know where we are, so we cant get a tow truck.
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel are discussing the note.]
Phoebe: Oh, just think... she's gonna be watching that video on a TV that hasn't even been invented yet! With friends who right now are just like babies! And they'll be living in a floating city that the humans built to escape the ant people!
PHOEBE: Oh, check it out, oh check it out. It's Smelly Cat the video.
Phoebe: Oh, oh, but y'know, you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys, you could be one of those guys.
Phoebe: No, you cant let this stop you from getting massages! No look, I have, I have lots of clients that make the same noises you do!
Rachel: (to everybody) All right, let’s get this party started, huh? Joey and Phoebe are gonna perform a little something for us.
Ross: Hey, remember how Chandler and Phoebe blew us off yesterday?
Phoebe: Marcia and Chester.
Tim: Awww, Ill miss you too Pheebs. (Starts to leave) And I will be holding you, right here. (Holds his hands over his heart, blows a kiss to Phoebe who catches it, and then leaves and Phoebe throws the kiss back.)
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Oh, its the compulsively neat one by the window, okay.
Phoebe: Well did she know you two werent married?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
Phoebe: Sounds like youre a little jealous.
Phoebe: Hey Chandler, why so fancy?
Phoebe: Well, the interview
Phoebe: Wait, I think I know someone who does that.
Phoebe: Oh you dont know.
Phoebe: What?! He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look, (reading) 'My vessel so empty with nothing inside. Now that I've touched you, you seem emptier still.' He thinks Monica is empty, she is the empty vase!
Phoebe: He said you poked at him with wooden spoons.
Phoebe: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! (she answers) Hello... Hey, ok, stop screaming! Ok? So, halibut. All right, so salmon, either way. I don't-I don't... it doesn't matter to me!
Chandler: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Great! Umm (Monica closes the door again and Phoebe knocks again.)
Phoebe: I cant help you.
Phoebe: Oh, Gunther, can I get a scone?
Phoebe: We could have breakfast in bed
Phoebe: Okay, dont worry. Youre ready.
Phoebe: You gotta go!
Phoebe: Because Im going to kill him
Amy with confused look on face: Yeah I.. I think so. <sticks her hand out to shake hands with Phoebe and says to her> It's nice to meet you Emma.
Rachel: Ohh! (walking away from the window) Phoebe, this is all your fault! Now he loves her, hes gonna marry her, and this is all your fault.
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Phoebe: Umm, no thank you. (She gets up and moves to the couch. They were at a table previously.)
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe is collecting donations and ringing her bell.]
Phoebe: I started that!
Monica: Uh Tim? This is Phoebe. Phoebe this is Tim, my new sous chef.