words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
PHOEBE: Oh, some guy she met at the movies.
PHOEBE: Hang in there, it's gonna happen.
PHOEBE: Because she's your lobster.
PHOEBE: C'mon you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, ya know, holding claws like. . .
PHOEBE: So, do you have any other possibilities?
PHOEBE: What is that sparkly thing?
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on couches. A beautiful woman is looking at Chandler.]
PHOEBE: Do you want a refill?
PHOEBE: OK. Ooh, OK, you gotta give me a second, I wanna get this just right. [she sticks out her gut, clears her throat and sniffs her nose and then in her best male voice. . .] Dude, 11 o'clock, totally hot babe checkin' you out. That was really good, I think I'm ready for my penis now.
PHOEBE: It's not that bad.
PHOEBE: Chandler, Chandler.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
PHOEBE: I think she's OK.
PHOEBE: Do the claws again.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe enter.]
PHOEBE: Would you stop already? Get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay.
PHOEBE: Hey now you have two. [Chandler looks annoyed] Oh, now you have two.
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
PHOEBE: See, he's her lobster.
Phoebe: You're going to Minsk.
Phoebe: Hi, Max!
Phoebe: Are you alright?
Phoebe: Thats so funny to think if youd just done that right after the last contest, no one would have had to move at all.
Phoebe: (waking and startling them) Oh! What what what! ...Hi.
Phoebe: No. (Monica brushes Coma Guy's hair in the other direction) No! No! ...So, um, do you think he's doing any better than he was this morning?
Rachel: (Into microphone) Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, Miss Phoebe Buffay. Wooh!
Phoebe: (Dancing in a swirly, Phoebe kind of way) I'm totally getting it!
Phoebe: But lately all the guys I meet seem really nice at first, then they turn out to be the biggest jerks.
(Phoebe and Joey run back out and head towards the street.)
Phoebe: Yeah, except your breasts look kinda small. (Points.)
Phoebe: Do it!
Phoebe: Do it do it do it!
Phoebe: Of course I can! Its just good sense to backup your backup! Look, Ive already lost Chandler!
Phoebe: I can't believe you did that!
Phoebe: We should do something. Whistle.
Monica: Phoebe, what are you doing?
Phoebe: Maybe nobody's tried this.
Phoebe: Yeah, we-we feel kinda responsible.
Phoebe: I know.
Phoebe: Oh, see, Jack did love the cow.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is just hanging up the phone as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Phoebe: Is it an engagement ring?
Phoebe: Well the Lions technically won, but it was a moral victory for the Green Bay Mermen.
Phoebe: Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? Im gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: (singing) I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find, is the wonders I've found ever since...
Phoebe: Hey hey hey! She's on!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are at the counter as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: I guess so. (See, the brief possession didn't affect her at all, like we could really tell.)
Phoebe: I'm in.
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: (scared) Fire alarm? (She opens the door to reveal a fireman holding the blanket with the smoke detector.) Oh! Hi, officerfireman, can-can I help you?
Ross: Aww. Thank you, Aunt Phoebe.
Rachel: (pretends to be stunned) Oh! Wi... in the dres... in the dressing room!? Well, that's so weird! Phoebe and I were just trying on clothes in the dressing room. God it's just such a small world!
Phoebe: I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the left Philange.
Phoebe: Hi.
Phoebe: Well, can you dance at all?
Phoebe: All right, fine, fine, but if youre my next victim, dont come back as a poltergeist and like suck me into the TV set.
PHOEBE: He's even kind of cute.
Phoebe: Hello.
Phoebe: No, you?
Phoebe: Going to the hospital tonight?
Monica and Phoebe: (in unison) Thanks.
Phoebe: If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off.
Phoebe: Okay. Good-bye, little monkey guy. Alright, I wrote you this poem. Okay, but don't eat it 'till you get on the plane.
Ross: Oh, uh, Phoebe just started a...
Phoebe: All right. If you care enough to make up that load of crap, okay.
PHOEBE: Yeah.
Phoebe: I knooow.
Phoebe: Look at you! How, how do you feel?
Phoebe: Well, we both have.
Phoebe: You're welcome.
Phoebe: What, that's it?
Phoebe: I'm Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: Well, actually it's just from me.
Phoebe: I don't think you mean that.
David: Sorry, I just... I wish there was something I could do, you know? Well, you know Phoebe...
Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot? (Chandler doesn't know.)
Phoebe: Okay, so when youre done with your tea Ill look at your leaves and tell you your fortune.
Phoebe: Does it look like an ashtray?
Phoebe: (Walks up with her guitar) Hey Rach.
Phoebe: Getting so good at that! (She hops on)
Phoebe: Okay, it's in spasm.
(David is feeding Phoebe popcorn. Max walks up)
Phoebe: Woo-hoo, first weekend away together!
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I broke down... I wanted to see him.
PHOEBE: It's a Wonderful Life. Yes I've heard of this.
PHOEBE: Just, you know, long time ago. Well, when men used to tell women what to do - a lot. And then there was suffrage, which is a good thing but is sounds horrible. Do you want to get this tattoo?
Phoebe: And then... your face is bloated?
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross is trying to talk to Carol about what Phoebe told him.]
Phoebe: (to Rachel) I can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.]
(Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: Fine!
Phoebe: I know no, no, y'know you dont deserve this, you dont Ross. Youre, youre really, youre so good. (kisses him on the cheek)
Monica: Phoebe, what's the matter?
Phoebe: All right, you know Paolo?
Phoebe: Uma Thurman.
Phoebe: Ok well, before you do, I know we weren't supposed to get you going away presents, (she takes something out from her pocket) but I do have something for you.
Phoebe: Hey! Oh, how did baby shopping go?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you moving out?
Phoebe: Um, um, Rachel can we talk for a sec?
Phoebe: Oh! (sits down) Ok, um, ok, um,
PHOEBE: And they were serving franks which is his first name minus the s at the end. And there was a rotisserie with spinning chicken.
Phoebe: Are you okay?
Phoebe: Oh, its a secret. Oh goodie! Yes! We havent done the secret thing in a long time.
Phoebe: Oh he's like a...
Phoebe: ...like a...
Rachel and Phoebe: I'm so sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry! No I'm sorry!
Phoebe: (shouts after David) Oh! David, get one for us too! Oh, oh, and see if they have a heart-shaped one! And with mirrors on the ceiling!
Phoebe: Such a pig!
Phoebe: Yes, good! Ok...
Phoebe: The end.
Phoebe: Should I not have told you?
Phoebe: Oh thats all right. Im still full from your homemade potato chips.
Phoebe: Oh, ok bye-bye.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
Phoebe: Yep!
Phoebe: You ok?