words in movies
Phoebe: (entering) Hey. I need an atlas! I need an atlas!
Phoebe: I have a date with this diplomat I met while I was giving free massages outside the UN and, I dont know where his country is.
Phoebe: Oh!! Thats my new thing. I figure bodies at peace, make peace.
Phoebe: Ick-neck-tree-anis..... Theres a g in there.
Phoebe: In your atlas!
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Umm, well hes very dashing, y'know, and umm, very, very sophisticated, and he doesnt speak any English, but according to his translator, he totally gets me.
Phoebe: What is this?
(Phoebe puts the globe right up next to her eye to try and find the country.)
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking along with the diplomat (Sergei) and his translator (Mischa).]
Phoebe: Me too. Although this city is my home, so. So thats dumb what I said, dont tell him I said that. Umm, you make something up. (Mischa does so and Sergei kisses her hand.) Nice, (to Mischa) thank you. This is me. Here.
Phoebe: (to Mischa) Thank you, very much! Oh! (to Sergei) Thank you!
Phoebe: (to Mischa) Okay, y'know what, you dont have to do that now. (Mischa translates that to Sergei) No-no-no-no!! Not him, you dont! (Mischa tells Sergei he can proceed and steps away) Well the moments over.
Phoebe: Oh.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is showing Monica where Sergeis country is.]
Phoebe: (pointing to the globe) See there it is right there.
Phoebe: Yeah. But Sergei said it took the Germans six weeks to get all the way across it.
Phoebe: Yeah. Except for, y'know when youre on a date and youre getting along really great but the guys translator keeps getting in the way.
Phoebe and Monica: Hey.
Monica: Oh thats my doodle of a ladybug, with a top hat. (to Phoebe) Shes fancy.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Anyway, Im going out with Sergei again tonight, and um, could you come and be the translators date? So that when we, its time for our alone time, you two could split off. Y'know, hes really, hes kinda cute.
Phoebe: Hey, dont call him that! His name is Spackel Back Harry!
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Phoebe are on their dates with Sergei and Mischa.]
Phoebe: (laughing and banging her spoon on the table) Knock, knock, knock, knock, hi. Um, could you please tell Sergei that um, I was fascinated by what Boutros Boutros Gali said in the New York Times.
Phoebe: You didnt say Boutros Boutros Gali.
Phoebe: Interesting.
Phoebe: Okay, ah, before you get all talky again, umm, could you also please tell Sergei that I really like his suit.
(Mischa does so, and Sergei complements Phoebe, and says it slowly)
Mischa: (to Phoebe, very quickly) Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. (to Monica) So you're a chef?
Phoebe: Monica, can I talk to you behind my menu, please. (Behind the menu) What are you doing?
Phoebe: Yeah but, Mischa is so interested in you, that Sergei and I havent been able to say two words to each other.
Phoebe: That would be great. Thank you.
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, sure. I just hope you, hope you dont accidentally suck it up through your nose and choke on it.
Mischa: (to Phoebe) Sergei, would like to apologise for my behaviour tonight.
Phoebe: Well, tell him, apology accepted.
Phoebe: Excuse me, but umm, isnt he paying for your dinner?
Monica: It will be my pleasure. (to Phoebe) My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy cant even say coupons. (they leave)
Phoebe: Plate! Yes, plate.
Phoebe: See, we dont need them.
Phoebe: Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk, Sergei is teaching Phoebe how to sing American Pie, by Don Maclean.]
(Both Phoebe and him are singing along and they get to the chorus.)
Sergei: (singing) Touchet, touchet, Miss Americccan pie. (stops to correct Phoebe) Ameri-ccan.
Phoebe: Ameri-can.
Phoebe: Ameri-can. Y'know its a very hard language. Lets do it again.
(They start singing, and Phoebe covers her mouth at the American part.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
Phoebe: Come on, you know, Thanksgiving. Ooh, you got the bigger half. What'd you wish for?
Phoebe: Really?! I looked into that. Yeah, but, I mean it costs like $60,000 and yknow you can die. And, you would die!
PHOEBE: Uh-huh, yeah, that's my cheat sheet.
Phoebe: Hi, Ben. I'm your father. I am... the head. Aaaaaahhhh.... (puts picture down, sees Ross staring at her) Alright, this barbecue is gonna be very fun.
Phoebe: There is a speakerphone on the base unit...
Phoebe: Well look-look, okay Ross, Kyle just told me some really bad stuff about her.
PHOEBE: 'Cause my, my grandmother's never had chicken pox. Please, please tell me you have, 'cause oh my God, I forgot how cute you are.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Shhh! Im on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. Its umm, its umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe yknow after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. (Listens) Okay, well okay Ill see you then. (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up.)
Phoebe: (seeing the look on Chandler's face) He-he does not like it! He hates it! He's in pain!
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Phoebe: Okay, I asked for the news, not the weather.
Chandler: (singing) Ill hold you close in my arms. (Phoebe enters) I cant resist your charms. And love....
Phoebe: But I don't think I can! it was ok to move in when I didn't know what was gonna happen, but I can't move in knowing that nothing is ever gonna happen.
Phoebe: Oh, he has a gig. I kinda like being married to a rock star, you know. My husband has a gig.
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
Phoebe: Oh, Im flaky. Ill say anything.
Phoebe: Nobody wins!
(As Phoebe stands there in shock and disbelief, Chandler comes out of the bathroom and walks to his bedroom. Hes just got out of the shower and has the towel wrapped around himself high across his chest, and another towel wrapped around his head, like women wear towels. Joey watches Chandler wondering what the hell hes doing.)
PHOEBE: Oh, yeah! Okay! Great! Go, man, go put on your shoes, and, and march out there and meet her! (Chandler runs and picks up his shoes) Oh, wait, no, no you have to take a shower, 'cause, eww. (Chandler runs to the bathroom, as the computer bing-bongs) No, you know what you have to answer her, answer her first. (Chandler runs to the computer) No, no, you know what make some coffee 'cause its too much. (Chandler walks slowly into the kitchen)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is complaining to Ross and Monica about the bucket.]
Phoebe: Oh okay. How about the whole "man walking on the moon" thing. You know? You. you could. You could see the strings people!
(Phoebe kisses Rachel on the cheek, then joins her team.)
(Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey all scooch over to let them sit down.)
Phoebe: Oh! No problem! I (Cassie emerges from the bathroom and we once again visit slow motion Barry White background music land with the sexy hair-flipping thing going on, only this time Phoebe is entranced. For more information on Denise Richards you can visit your local library or look her up on the Internet at her official website at www.deniserichards.com.)
Ross: (looking at the table) Excuse me ladies. (To Phoebe) Im sorry?
Phoebe: Okay, this is what Im talking about, this. I-I need to live in a land where people can spill.
Phoebe: What, he's not still following her. Do you think he is still following her?
Chandler: Listen Phoebe, hes right. People are not supposed to have heart attacks at 31.
Phoebe: Yeah! So--ooh, I gotta ask you though. How did you know where to find me?
Phoebe: Really?! Oh thats so exciting! Thank you! Thanks Mon! Oh but Mon, if you touch my guitar again Ill have to pound on you for a little bit.
Phoebe: Oh, thank you. I hope... I hope you know how much you mean to me.
Phoebe: Well, it just, it doesn't feel like playing anymore, it feels like work. It's like I'm working in the field.
Phoebe: See? Im doing it. I am totally doing it. (Suddenly it stops working.) I lost it.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Monica: Oh, you can't show Phoebe this! She hates those corporate massage chains.
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
Phoebe: Umm, do you know, umm Sipowicz?
Phoebe: (laughs and picks up another lure) And this?
[Scene: Phoebes apartment building, in desperation she has wrapped up the smoke detector in a blanket and is going to throw it into the trash chute.]
(Chandler and Phoebe look bored to death. Monica scores and laughs)
Phoebe: (Clears Throat) Rach, so, that guy there. Straight or gay?
Phoebe: Do you have my birth certificate?
Monica: Phoebe is going to say "Yes" to David. See, that's what happens when you meddle in people's lives!
Phoebe: .and I said Vicrum you can't just call every time you get lonely you know, you, you gave up that right when you slept with Rachel.
Bitsy: Phoebe, why don't you come in the living room and meet our friends?
Phoebe: Just pretend they're not even here! It's OK Monica, when that spotlight hits you it so bright you won't see anyoneanyway.
Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. Issacs sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message place with Phoebe. And Phoebes friends with Rachel. And thats the trail, I did it!
Phoebe: Oh we can't, we already have plans.
Phoebe: Alright, here's my $7.50. (Hands them the money) But I think you should know that this money is cursed.
Phoebe: Are you kidding?! Another week with that sip, Ill kill myself!
Phoebe: No! No! Its-its uh a real thing! Anyone can get ordained on the Internet and perform like weddings and stuff!
Monica and Phoebe: (sympathetic) Ohh!
Phoebe: You mean the time you broke the ketchup bottle and cleaned it up with Monicas guest towels?
[Scene: The Girls apartment. Phoebe is dialing the phone and Rachel runs in the door.]
Phoebe: What? (He leans in to kiss her.) Oh. (They kiss and Phoebe pauses.) Ooh. (Pause) Whoa! That one kept going. (Exits.)
Phoebe: Yeah well, maybe she shouldve spent a little less time decorating and a little more time in the bedroom.
Phoebe: Well, no, no, wait, wait, wait. All right, I gotta go. Just listen. Promise me, that you will wait a minute before you call her.
Phoebe: No reason! That would just be a really big surprise, right?
Phoebe: Oh, my first massage today is this incredibly gorgeous guy, and every time I see him I just want to do things to him that Im not allowed to charge for.
Phoebe: Oh. Ha-ha-ha. All right, anyway
Phoebe: You're welcome. I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anybody. And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority, and then he killed himself, and then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel.
Phoebe: Give me your hands. (He does and she smells his left hand.) Strings. Gimme it! (He gives her his right hand and she smells it as well.) Pick. Do you want to learn to play guitar?
Phoebe: Oh my God!! The baby just kicked!
Phoebe: Well, we were um, sorta invited to go skiing, y'know Rachels sisters cabin. (Chandler goes back to the window to smoke again.)
Gary: (To Phoebe) Hi sweetie. (Kisses her.) Hi, can I talk to you for a second?
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.)
Phoebe: My massage client, Arthur? His daughter called and said that some guy that worked for me gave him a really weird massage this afternoon.
Phoebe: What a great night, Chandler cant do it, these guys kissed (Points to Ross and Rachel.)
Phoebe: I..., a jingle? No, no-no-no, no.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, (although its really just Monicas now with Matthew Perry in rehab) Monica is folding her laundry with Ross reading the paper and Phoebe standing in the kitchen.]
Phoebe: I know! But if I didnt work there, what else would I do?
Phoebe: Now Ben, sometimes people may seem like jerks on the outside, but they have famous fathers.
Phoebe: No, no, no, I actually it's any baby animals: kittens, fish babies... You know... especially veal... and this, this nice vein of fat running through it... (she cuts the meat, picks it up with her fork and holds it in front of her mouth, which she keeps closed, trying to overcome her vegetarian thoughts... and... puts it in her mouth... Clearly not enjoying the meat...) Hmmm... yummy (everybody seems okay with it, except Mike. He's making a hmmmm.... face... Then Phoebe swallows it) Hmmm... (at first she likes it, but then, in an instant puts her hand in front of her mouth and runs from the table. You hear a door slamming.)
Phoebe: It was the end of the party, you were probably ironing wrapping paper.
Phoebe: (interrupting him) No listen to me! She is crazy!
(Phoebe leads David into a bedroom)
Phoebe: (to the person that answered the door) Hi, Ursula.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) That's right, I don't... But I was, I was drunk on you!
Phoebe: Oh thats good, I guess shell have a choice between my guy and your weirdo.
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
(Phoebe starts to listen at the other wall, where Rachel's room is. There, Joey and Rachel are kissing.)
Phoebe: Okay, good. There you go. Doesnt anyone feel better?
Rachel: (fake disappointment) All right. All right Phoebe I will let you have him, but you owe me; you owe me big!
Phoebe: Oh my God! I killed him! I killed another one! And this curse is getting stronger too, to bring down something that big.
PHOEBE: I know.� (sighs)�� So, what's going on with you and Ross?
Phoebe: Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client... Steve? (pause) Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef.
Monica: Phoebe, yknow why dont we just go upstairs and have some birthday cake?
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, David has a cab waiting to take him to the airport and hes saying goodbye to Phoebe.]
Ross: Phoebe, she doesnt know that you sneak out every night, she doesnt know that you sneak back every morning, and she doesnt know that youve been living with your Grandmothers for a week now.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the phone, Chandler and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Ross is in the kitchen as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is looking around the shop as Phoebe returns from getting some more coffee.]
Chandler: Monica, you have got to stop this competitive thing! Okay? It's crazy. {Finally! The voice of reason.} I mean, just impress Gary and Phoebe we have to go upstairs and have sex over and over and I'm saying no to this, why? Get your coat.
Phoebe: Well, yknow Im wearing layers and its warm.
Phoebe: (gritting her teeth) Okay, Ill be out in a second.
Phoebe: Mike? Okay! What's his last name?
Ross: (to Phoebe) Tell my son that I love him. (Emily returns with the water.) Excellent! Well, okay, I gotta have some more fun!
Phoebe: (smells at him) Chandler, you stink of cigarettes.
Phoebe: That is brand new information!!
Phoebe: You! An actor?! Thats madness!