words in movies
PHOEBE: [looking at a water sculpture that looks like a window with rain running down it] Hey, excellent, excellent water-table thing.
PHOEBE: Yeah, well me too, yeah. I think that's the challenge.
PHOEBE: So why don't ya show us the rest of your casa?
[Phoebe enters]
PHOEBE: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. You are not gonna believe this. I have just been discovered.
PHOEBE: Anyway, OK, now promise you won't like, freak out and say how great this is until I'm done, OK.
PHOEBE: OK. I just met this producer of this like, teeny record company, who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of Smelly Cat.
PHOEBE: I told you not to do that yet. And, she wants to do a video.
PHOEBE: I'm not done yet, OK. God. OK, if that goes well, they may even want to make an album.
PHOEBE: I'm done now.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting between Monica and Phoebe.]
PHOEBE: Joey, why don't you talk to Chandler about moving back?
[Scene: Recording studio. Phoebe is getting ready to record Smelly Cat.]
PRODUCER: OK Phoebe, you ready to try one?
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers start singing smelly, smelly, smelly, smelly behind her] Oh woah, oh my God. I mean like, who was that?
PHOEBE: OH!! Oh I thought they were just watching me. You know, like at, like at an aquarium, ya know.
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers - smelly, smelly, smelly, really bad smelly cat, it's not your fault] OK, sorry. I'm just, I'm just not getting that everyone um, gets how smelly this cat acually is. I just think that maybe if we could talk about this, 'cause I need to feel that you really care about the cat.
PHOEBE: Oh OK. So, um, the cat stinks but you love it, let's go.
PHOEBE: Hey.
PHOEBE: Oh, check it out, oh check it out. It's Smelly Cat the video.
PHOEBE: Now OK, I haven't seen it yet so, if you don't like it, well, so what, none of you ever made a video. [puts the tape in] OK.
[The video is a very dramatic episode with an obviously dubbed voice for Phoebe. Everyone watches in disbeliefe]
PHOEBE: Oh my God.
PHOEBE: I sound amazing. I, I, I've never heard myself sing before. I mean, except in my own head. Oh, this is so cool, now I can hear what you hear.
PHOEBE: Oh, I am sorry but I am incredibly talented.
[Phoebe enters]
PHOEBE: Hey.
PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.
PHOEBE: Yes.
PHOEBE: Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.
PHOEBE: Well, I can't work with people who would do this.
PHOEBE: I mean this poor woman.
PHOEBE: The voice woman. Ya know, I mean, she has a great voice but she doesn't have a video.
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is performing Smelly Cat.]
PHOEBE: [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Everybody.
PHOEBE: Monica.
PHOEBE: Chandler.
PHOEBE: Rachel.
PHOEBE: Uh, Ross, those are the only lines we have, sorry. OK, you guys, once more.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Please!
Phoebe: Dead. (everyone is a bit upset) Oh, it's OK, no, he was old, yeah! And he lived a full life, he was in the first wave at Omaha Beach.
Phoebe: You think you know me so well.
Phoebe: Ross, could we please, please, please listen to anything else?
Phoebe: Thats what I said.
Phoebe: Oh hey, Monica, I heard you saw Donald Trump at your convention.
(Phoebe runs in and joins her.)
Joey: (to Phoebe) Wow, that was kinda brutal.
Phoebe: Oh, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah!
Phoebe: Yeah, well, everybody does! Im a really cool person. And y'know you had 29 years to find that out, but you didnt even try! Y'know what, you walked out on me, and Im just, Im gonna do the same thing to you.
PHOEBE: Hi Rob Dohnen.
[Scene: The rest stop, Phoebes pulling in.]
Phoebe: Never mind, I got it.
Phoebe: I know. This is really, really huge.
Phoebe: (to Paulo) Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.
PHOEBE: Oh. Well is she, is she the first that you've been with?
Phoebe: (to Rachel, whos staying in the cab.) Arent you gonna go?
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Phoebe: Okay, dont give me a reason to get mad, okay
Phoebe: Hey, how'd it go?
Phoebe: Ewww! Oh! Its the Mattress King!
Phoebe: (to Leslie) Oh, I thought you werent coming. What? Where were you?
Chandler: Hello Phoebe, I've been thinking about you all day. (He's holding the phone so that Monica can hear it as well.)
(He hugs her. Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Well, personally I think it's great you're giving yourself a break.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: What is this?
Phoebe: No it's just that I got this new pager and I have it on vibrate. See ya!
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.
Phoebe: I cant! I cant! Unless Well are you saying that-that you would move out if-if I didnt buy that lamp?
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Ohh, well, you're my lucky penny.
Phoebe and Monica: Hey.
Phoebe: But look Chandler, right now, no one has a lower opinion of you than I do. But I totally believe you can do this.
Phoebe: Oh, Rachel and I have appointments to get our hair cut.
Phoebe: Monica your remote doesn't work.
PHOEBE: Oh God, here we go. For the first time in my life I'm gonna say 'Hi birthfather'.
Phoebe: Good. Yknowno-no, okay, its-it feels like everythings been about me lately, so whats happening with you?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, he clipped on, he said call him as soon as you get a chance, hes at Flimbys.
Phoebe: No, y'know what dont close it (Rachel slams the door shut locking themselves out.) cause the... keys...are in there.
Phoebe: Look out, incoming pumpkin pie!
Monica: Phoebe! Come on Im serious! I just got to talk to him about all this.
Monica: All right, Phoebe get open. Rachel, go long.
Phoebe: (to Monica, whos entering) Hey, youre early.
Phoebe: Alright, Ill try, fine! Yes, Okay!
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Phoebe: (muffled) Oh, thank you.
Phoebe: Interesting.
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monicas. Ill be right back. (She goes to get it.)
Phoebe: Oh, ok, you want me to marry Mike? Alright, well, let's just gag him and handcuff him and force him down the aisle. I can just see it: "Mike, do you take Phoebe..." (gestures with her hand as if someone is covering her mouth and tries to shout "No! No!") You know, it's every girl's dream!
Phoebe: That would be great. Thank you.
Phoebe: That's true. (Pause) Well, is anything you told me about yourself true?
Phoebe: Okay, so how do we decide that?
Phoebe Sr: I realise I dont have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, (Sees that Phoebe isnt paying attention and is busy mimicking the puppy.) uhh Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, its very important.
Phoebe: Well, I don't know if that's such a good idea. They clearly don't want to be with us.
Phoebe: See, we dont need them.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Plate! Yes, plate.
Phoebe: Wow! That is a bad audition.
Phoebe: Okay, just tell me this, did you or did you not smell her hair?
[Scene: Dr. Burke's apartment. Dr. Burke answers the door for Phoebe and Monica.]
Rachel: Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. (to Phoebe) Is this actually a lunchbox?
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Joey looks at her.) Im sorry, too soon. You go.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Waxine!!
Phoebe: Whatever, its the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyways.
Phoebe: God. Do think it really doesnt hurt? Cause how can they do that?
Monica: (to Phoebe) Look at you. All jealous.
Phoebe: They have the best stuff in there.
Phoebe: (pointing to the globe) See there it is right there.
Phoebe: Wait, wait, I'm getting a deja vu...no, I'm not.
Phoebe: Was it not pain-free?
Phoebe: Okay, Monicas are the biggest.
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
Phoebe: Were all right.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is showing Monica where Sergeis country is.]
Phoebe: Ow!!!
Phoebe: Oh!!
Phoebe: Were all right.
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Oh God, this is turning into the worst wedding day ever! The bride is pregnant. The groom is missing. And Im still holding this. (She throws the test back into the trash.)
Phoebe: (walking up to Joey) Hey.
Phoebe: (to Joey) What, what are they talking about?
PHOEBE: With the web, the spider she dies, she does. She has babies and dies. It's like ya know, hey welcome home from the hospital, thud.
Phoebe: (rhythmically) Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Phoebe: Okay, but try and get Joey too.
Joey: Thank you Phoebe, that is very, very generous.
Phoebe: Yeah, this has happened before.
PHOEBE: Oh you are so lucky.
Phoebe: Yeah, what town are we near?
Phoebe: But if...
PHOEBE: No. No, he is my submaring guy. He resurfaces like every couple years and we have the most amazing three days together. Only this time he's coming for two weeks. Two whole weeks, which means yay.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey. I need an atlas! I need an atlas!
Phoebe: (answering the phone) (whispering) Ross, thank God.
Phoebe: Yes, please.
Phoebe: Okay, listen Robert...
Phoebe: You were great. But they still made fun of you.