words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are sitting at a table. Rachel is working. Monica and Phoebe enter.]
Phoebe: (reading): Dear Ms. Green, thank you for your inquiry, however... oh... (crumples up letter)
Phoebe: Wow!
Phoebe: (reading): Your Visa bill is huge!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Yeah, what is that? Like, some kind of guy thing? Like, some kind of sexist guy thing? Like it's poker, so only guys can play?
Phoebe: Oh, OK, so then what is it? Some kind of... you know, like, like... some kind of, y'know, like... alright, what is it?
Phoebe: Congratulations!
Phoebe: OK, I just need two... the, um, ten of spades and the six of clubs.
Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! (gives it to Phoebe)
Phoebe and Rachel: OOooooo!
Ross: Alright, now, you sure? Phoebe just threw away two jacks because they didn't look happy...
Phoebe: But... I'm ready, so, just deal.
Phoebe: (to Joey): Oh I see, so then, you were lying.
Phoebe: About how good your cards were.
Phoebe: A-ha! And... what is bluffing? Is it not another word for... lying?
Phoebe: OK, Monica? I had another answer all ready.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: Ha. Ha, ha.
Phoebe: Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black.
Phoebe: Oh, it's like the mother ship is calling you home.
Aunt Iris: No! That's bluffing. Lesson number one. (walks into kitchen) Let me tell you something... everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap. (to Phoebe): Nice earrings.
Phoebe: Thank y... (thinks about it)
Monica: Uh, Aunt Iris? This is Phoebe, and that's Rachel...
Phoebe: Ross, could we please, please, please listen to anything else?
Phoebe and Rachel: Yes, we should. I think we should.
Phoebe: Alright, here's my $7.50. (Hands them the money) But I think you should know that this money is cursed.
Phoebe: Oh, I cursed it. So now bad things will happen to he who spends it.
Phoebe: (holding a card and waving it in front of her face) Hey you guys, look, the one-eyed jack follows me wherever I go. (they look at her) Right, OK, serious poker.
Phoebe: (looks at her cards) Yes! (everyone looks at her) .... or no.
Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?
Joey: Uh... Phoebe? Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yeah. Um... I'm out. (throws in cards)
Phoebe: Monica, in or out?
Phoebe: OK Joey, your bet.
Phoebe: Ross?
Phoebe: Chandler?
Phoebe: Me too. Rachel.
Phoebe: Plus that shirt doesn't really match those pants.
Phoebe: Y'know, there's gonna be lots of other stuff.
Phoebe: I'm in.
(Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe back their chairs away from the table.)
Phoebe: ...teen! (throws in a ten-dollar bill)
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Phoebe: That's a bird?
(Monica glares at Phoebe.)
Phoebe: That's a bird!
Phoebe: Okay, see, see, everyone else is happy shes done.
Phoebe: Hey.
Frank: (To Phoebe) What's with him?
Monica: (gasps) Totally familiar. (Phoebe shows the rest of them.)
PHOEBE: Oh, thanks. I couldn't uh...
Phoebe: Hi! And you're going into what grade?
Phoebe: They are. Why?
Phoebe: Happy birthday!
Phoebe: Can I tell you a little secret?
Phoebe: Why not?! Maybe I can, you don't know!
Phoebe: You're right.
Phoebe: So you still hadn't heard from Emily?
Phoebe: Oh, just ask him!
(There's an awkward silence then suddenly Phoebe gets an idea.)
Phoebe: Great! It worked! No ones sad.
Phoebe: Undo it. Undo it. Undo it.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) So did you ask him?
Phoebe: Hi!
Monica: (To Phoebe) How are you doing?
Phoebe: Yeah, that does make sense. Ok, now, would... would you two (points to Ross and Chandler) like that?
Phoebe: What is that?
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: What am I supposed to do? Ask every guy I make out with if hes married? (Rachel looks at her.) No, yeah, I should.
Phoebe: Yeah- no- I'm just- it's, I haven't worked- It's my bank.
(Phoebe screams in pain, and Frank screams with her.)
Phoebe: Great! Yeah, could you bring me the newspaper?
Phoebe: Which one do you have?
Phoebe: But umm, I mean, did you talk to them about, y'know
Phoebe: Well, on the bright side, now you won't have to see all these paleontologists with their shirts off. (Grabs a drink and notices that the two men are upset) Not you guys. You got it going on!
RACHEL: Run Phoebe run.
Phoebe: I know.
Phoebe: Yeah. You won't be able to take it.
Phoebe: Works on you.
Phoebe: No, not Phoebe, Dr. Philange. Oh no! You have it too!
Phoebe: Go Charlie! But my point is, ok so she dated them but she also broke up with them. Maybe she's looking to, you know, slum it with some average Joe Phd.
Phoebe: Ugh, what's right with them?
Phoebe: Ugh, PBS!
Phoebe: Yeah. So?
Phoebe: What-what are you talking about?!
PHOEBE: Ok, it's very faint, but I can still sense him in the building. Go into the light, Mr. Heckles!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there.]
Phoebe: (to her date) Okay, and then this is the coffee house. This is where I play my music. (points to the stage)
Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe: I'm having my first contraction!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Of course not! And you're gonna love Mary Ellen. She's really smart and cute and funny, and I can't tell you how I know this, but she' not opposed to threesomes. So tell me some about my guy.
Phoebe: Yeah! As long as it's free! Food here is ridiculously over-p...
Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you called her fat.
Phoebe: No way! No way! You just broke with Tag a week ago.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Hey, arent you up next?
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi Joey.
Phoebe: All right, the seven of us miss you.
Mike: Oh, thank God. (he laughs nervously, and Phoebe gets her keychain from her bag.)
Phoebe: It's, yes, my little black book. It's got the numbers of all the guys I've dated.
Phoebe: Joey stuffing 15 Oreos in his mouth. (Joey, with an obvious mouth full, nods yes.)
Phoebe: Come on, play that funky music white boy.
Phoebe: Yeah that's better than my way.
[Rachel and Phoebe enter]
Phoebe: (leaving) Fine, fine! You would not hold up well under torture!
Phoebe: Yeah, by Sandrine.
Phoebe: (seeing her) Get out of here you lurker! (She doesn't move) Go on! Get! (She throws a quarter at her.)
Phoebe: You guys kissed!!!!! What does this mean?!! Are you, are you getting back together?! Can I sing at your wedding?
Phoebe: Oh sure! (She goes to take her feet off, but drags the sheet with her which spills the wine.) Noo!
Phoebe: Uh-hmm. Okay. Well then, could we reschedule? For say, Friday night perhaps at 8 oclock?
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: Oh well, okay, hey, yknow how when youre umm, youre walking down the street and you see three people in a row, and you say, "Oh, thats nice?"
[Scene: Phoebes cab, its the same arrangement as before.]
Phoebe: Ooh-ohh!
Phoebe: Ehh!!
Rachel: (seeing Ross and Bonnie inside Central Perk) Oh my God! Phoebe look, its Ross and that girl.
CHANDLER: Hey, look, Phoebe I wanted to meet her in person too, okay, but she's married, she has a husband.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes. Do you know what I'd hear, with every step I took? 'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.' And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping- 'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine'...
Phoebe: Come where?
Phoebe: (In a British accent) This is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if-if its not too much trouble, please, umm, might I speak to Miss Emily Waltham, please?
Phoebe: I want to keep one. (Giggles in excitement.)
Phoebe: Yeah. But I also believed her (points to the phone) when she said I was next.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Yeah, no, Ralph doesnt look anything like that guy. Hes-hes young and hes got long hair and a beard and a hacky sack.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: We're so stupid! Do you know what's going on in there? They're trying to take Joey!
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Phoebe: (to Joey) Youre Franks best man?!
Phoebe: Count for what?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Oh right, yeah okay, my Mom could, and I cant. We dont have that....
Phoebe: No, it sucks. I was saving up to buy a hamster.
Phoebe: I don't care... I'll be my something blue.
Phoebe: (she smells his head) No!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Phoebe are going through a bunch of pictures as Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: Oh, ok, you know what I don't get? The way guys can do so many mean things, and then not even care.
Monica: Phoebe, I did not have sex.
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe: That might work! (She gives him the coat.)
Phoebe: Oh I just miss him so much!
Phoebe: Hey!
Joey: Oh, hey, my pleasure. (he suddenly becomes very serious) So what are your intentions with my Phoebe?
PHOEBE: Oh, right, OK. Ole.
Phoebe: Nooo!!