words in movies
PHOEBE: Ok, right there. That, that's the third sign today. Right there.
PHOEBE: No, 'cause you just said dad and everywhere I go today I keep getting signs telling me to go see my father. Like when I was walking over here and I passed a buffet...which is my father's last name.
PHOEBE: And they were serving franks which is his first name minus the s at the end. And there was a rotisserie with spinning chicken.
PHOEBE: No because I chickened out the last time when I tried to meet him. So I mean coincidences? I don't think so.
PHOEBE: Oh, alright, that's it, now I have to go see him.
PHOEBE: Hamburger. McDonald's. Old MacDonald had a farm, my dad is a pharmacist.
[Scene: Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe pulls up in the cab with Rachel and Joey in the back.]
[Phoebe slams on the breaks. Joey and Rachel are thrown forward into the pillows in their laps.]
PHOEBE: Oh God, here we go. For the first time in my life I'm gonna say 'Hi birthfather'.
PHOEBE: Thanks. [gets out of the cab]
PHOEBE: [a little dog starts attacking her leg] Hey, hey, no, oh oh.
RACHEL: Run Phoebe run.
PHOEBE: No no no, doggie please. Oh, I do so wanna love all animals, please no.
PHOEBE: Look kibbles, bits. Oh God, alright, get the hell off my leg you yippity piece of crap. [Flings the dog off and jumps in the cab. The dog keeps jumping up to the window.] Ok, alright, we have a problem.
PHOEBE: Are you crazy?
PHOEBE: Yeah, I don't know.
PHOEBE: I just think that this was a really bad sign, ya know. I mean, like the beast at the threshold, you know. It's just like, I have no family left, ya know. I mean except for my grandmother, you know, but let's face it, she's not gonna be around forever, despite what she says. And I have a sister who I've barely spoken to since we like shared a womb. I don't know, this is my real father and I just, I want things to be like just right.
RACHEL: Yeah Phoebe, I completely understand.
PHOEBE: Ok, thanks. Sorry, again
PHOEBE: [innocently] What was that?
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey.
PHOEBE: Ok, I talked to the vet, people are so nice upstate. Anyway, he said that the little fella's gonna be ok and I can pick him up tomorrow.
PHOEBE: Yeah, but he did have to have a bunch of stitches and he said that only once in a blue moon does a dog's ear grow back so...still hoping.
RACHEL: Ok, so Phoebe, now are you gonna call your dad and let him know that his dog is ok?
PHOEBE: I, I don't wanna meet my father over the phone. What am I gonna say, like 'Hi, I'm Phoebe, the daughter you abandoned. Oh, by the way, I broke your dog.'
PHOEBE: Ok. Listen, just don't say anything about me, ok. [goes over and grabs the phone that's sitting by Monica]
PHOEBE: So talk to her.
[Scene: Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe is returning the dog who is bandaged up and has a plastic cone around it's neck.]
PHOEBE: Hi.
PHOEBE: It was an accident, and, and the woman who did this would never ever hurt a dog on purpose. She's a vegetarian.
PHOEBE: Yeah, eight of them. That's 56 to him. You know also, if, if it's raining, you can't let him look up too long 'cause that cone'll fill up really really fast.
PHOEBE: Sure, oh, is, is Frank home.
PHOEBE: Just from a, from a long time ago. Is he here?
PHOEBE: Oh, ok, um, I mean Frank senior.
PHOEBE: Ok so will he be back soon?
PHOEBE: Alright, I'm, I'm gonna go. I'm sorry about the dog, everything. I'm sorry.
PHOEBE: Um well I don't really. Just genetically. He's kinda my dad too.
PHOEBE: Yeah. So um, did he ever talk about me, Phoebe?
PHOEBE: Oh.
PHOEBE: Stilts?
PHOEBE: Wow.
PHOEBE: I don't know what to do with that.
PHOEBE: Yeah.
PHOEBE: I'm not gonna. But you know what's cool though? Ok, if you had a friend named Pete, then I could say, 'Oh yeah, I know Pete, he's friends with my brother.'
PHOEBE: That'll work too.
PHOEBE: Yeah, that'd be ok.
PHOEBE: Ok, I'm in the book.
PHOEBE: Alright. So um, stilts huh?
PHOEBE: Ok.
PHOEBE: Hey nice boobs.
Phoebe: Wait, what was that? That sounded like someone being nice to you.
Phoebe: No, whatever! Anything!
(Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear.) Monica and Rachel: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Phoebe: (muffled through the floor) Yeah, look I was with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired... (I tired but the rest is unintelligible).
Phoebe: No! No! I-I meant for the baby!
Phoebe: Uh-huh, great story! I'm going!
Earl: Phoebe? The lady who sells toner?
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: Umm, look it, you-you cant kill yourself.
Phoebe: No-no I cant! I cant let you do it!
Phoebe: I can smell it a little, bake the pie.
Phoebe: Sure! (Thinks.) Umm, where are you from?
Phoebe: Okay, well maybe not on those levels.
Phoebe: No, its fate!
Phoebe: No! I definitely don't wanna get married. No I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to too. Whew! Coz you know when we move in and you start changing your mind there's gonna be hell to pay mister!
Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?!
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Phoebe: (turning around and picking a cup off of a table) Oh, hey, look, I found coffee! (handing her the cup) Okay, lets skedaddle.
Tag: Phoebe! Thats a great name.
Phoebe: Yeah, but you shouldnt compare yourself to me.
All: Come on Phoebe! You can do it Phoebe! Come on!
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Phoebe: Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Yknow, I probably wouldnt have to say spank as much. (Monica and Ross are shocked.)
Ross and Joey: No-no-no-no-no. (They start to turn away, but Phoebe stops them, and turns them back to face her.)
Phoebe: Ooh, I have tasted my own medicine and it is bitter!
Phoebe: (getting out) Okay, whos next?
Phoebe: No, I really wanna live with you! I wanna move in with you!
Phoebe: Yeah, otherwise, I mean thats, thats, thats just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? (they both look away) Can you be civil?
Phoebe: Really?! Cause yknow that hurts.
Phoebe: Least of all you.
Phoebe: Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!
(She goes over and tries to give Phoebe a massage. Phoebe yelps in pain and jumps away from her.)
Phoebe: Happy thirtieth birthday! Here! (Hands her the hippity-hop.) Its for the child in you, and the woman. Happy thirtieth!
Phoebe: Yeah. What?!
Phoebe: You have your birth certificate?
Ursula: Yes! Phoebe.
Phoebe: Nu-uh!
Phoebe: Wait! (Knocks on the door and Ursula opens it.)
Phoebe: Our mom.
Phoebe: Thats my first name.
Phoebe: Ohh! All right! All right. Heres what well do, Ill get twice as drunk as Monica and then no ones will even notice her.
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is still talking to Earl.]
Phoebe: Well, I never knew mine. Do you remember what it is?
Phoebe: Hey, whats going on?
(Phoebe approaches as they almost get to their room.)
PHOEBE: Yeah, I agree. Ya know, I think fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside and I'm just not sure we are.
Phoebe: Joey, shes so cool. She speaks four languages.
Phoebe: So what?! That doesnt give you the right to ditch me!
Phoebe: Okay, I can do that! Oh, by the way, I love my office.
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Phoebe: Ooh, erotiery!
Phoebe: Oh yes, yes, yes you can. Just say, um, 'Phoebe, my work is my life and that's what I have to do right now'. And I say 'your work?! Your work?! How can you say that?!'. And then you say, um, 'it's tearing me apart, but I have no choice. Can't you understand that?'. And I say (Hits him) 'no! No! I can't understand that!'.
(Ross pans the camera over to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah.
PHOEBE: Listen if you wanna go, just go.
Phoebe: Oh! (Phoebe walks away smiling.)
Phoebe: No, no, no! Don't call her! You wait for her to call you (Joey considers it)
Phoebe: You did the right thing.
Phoebe: Oooh, yeah. Youre a genius.
Phoebe: Why? It's fun, it's different, no-one else has a name like it.
Phoebe: No, I can't talk to you! I don't have a fancy ad in the Yellow Pages!
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Phoebe: Yeah? Why?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is pouring Rachel some coffee.]
[Scene: Max and David's lab, they are working. Phoebe knocks on the door]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch in Central Perk]
Phoebe: Okay, woo! Hi.
Phoebe: Ohh, he left his cell phone.
Phoebe: I dont know.
Phoebe: A stripper at a bachelor party, that is so clich�. Why don't you get a magician?!
Phoebe: Nice try.
Chandler: Phoebe, we can hear the dog barking!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there as Monica enters with the local paper that has the engagement picture in it.]
Phoebe: Oh! Oop! (Hands him back the ring.)
The Fireman: The next time you want to dump a fire alarm in a trash chute, dont wrap it in a blanket that says, "Property of Phoebe Buffay not Monica."
Joey: (whispers to Phoebe and Rachel) Hey, thank you so much. (They both exit.)
Phoebe: Yep, lipstick and a daughter, big day for you!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are recovering from Ross's rebuke.]
Phoebe: Did I use that already today? Im sorry.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are returning from the strip club.]
Phoebe: Okay, I hear you! Are you capable of talking about any thing else?
Phoebe: Okay, a meat eater. Fine, thats one for you.
Rachel: (showing Phoebe her phone) His new girlfriend!
Phoebe: Good.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: No I didnt!
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Ooh, now you lost me.
Rachel: Phoebe!
Phoebe: No.
Phoebe: That is a different phone.
Rachel: Phoebe! You cant do th
Rachel: Oh Phoebe!
Phoebe: What?! Thats the first time today!
Phoebe: Oh? And how will you know what time to come over?
PHOEBE: I know who it is you remind me of. Evelyn Dermer. 'Course, that's before she got the lousy face lift. Now she looks like Soupy Sales.
Phoebe: Yes, while I was in the chair! Thats why I take such good care of my teeth now, y'know, its not about oral hygiene, I floss to save lives!
Phoebe: Hey, so? Are you gonna do it?