words in movies
Phoebe: Wow, Joey and a professor! Can you imagine if they had kids and if the kids got her intelligence and Joey's raw sexual magnetism... Oh, those nerds will get laaaaaid!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Look what I just got. (she shows them a pair of slippers)
Phoebe: I bought them off Ebay! They used to belong to the late Shania Twain.
Rachel: (after a pause) Phoebe, Shania Twain is still alive!
Phoebe: Oh... then I overpaid. (she goes to the bathroom)
Monica: Oh, you can't show Phoebe this! She hates those corporate massage chains.
Phoebe: (coming back from the bathroom) What's up? (she sees the gift certificate in Rachel's hands) Hey, Rachel!!
Phoebe: No, you can't go there! You know how I feel about these "big massage places"! They're putting people like me out of business!
Rachel: Phoebe, come on, I don't wanna waste it! It would be like throwing away a hundred bucks!
Phoebe: Ok, this is not about the MONEY, ok? It's about... it's about corporate greed destroying our hearts and leaving us... the hollow shells.
Phoebe: Well, do you care about friendship?
Phoebe: I feel really strongly about this, Rachel. Please, don't use this gift certificate. I'm asking you as a friend.
Rachel: Oh, not as a friend, Phoebe!! Fine, I won't use it!
Phoebe: Promise?
Phoebe: Thank you. (she tears up the gift certificate)
(Phoebe enters the hall)
Receptionist: Phoebe, your next client's in the waiting room.
Phoebe: Ok. Do we have to talk like that then they're not around? (She sees Rachel) Oh, no, no! Listen, is there someone who can fill in for me?
Phoebe: But that woman can't know I work here. She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink about how awful this massage chains are.
Phoebe: 'Cause it's good money! But that doesn't change the fact that this is an evil blood sucking corporate machine!
Phoebe: (watching around and whispering) Ok, are they listening?
[Scene: At the Spa, Phoebe is at the half-opened door]
Phoebe: (In a strange heavy accent) Hello "ja", it's time for your massage, ja! Put your face in the hole.
Rachel: Wow, a Swedish massage from a real Swedish person. (Puts her head in the hole and Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: Okay, then I'm Swedish...
Phoebe: It's a normal Swedish name... Ikea...
Phoebe: Ja!
Phoebe: (pushes her head back down) Time for your scalp massage!
Phoebe: Is something wrong?
Phoebe: (Thinks for a few moments) Uhm... Stockholm.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel at the Spa. Phoebe is still massaging Rachel]
Phoebe: (Singing) "Ipan Stripan, Glupi Glabi! " And that is the Swedish National Anthem! Thank you for asking! (looks annoyed)
Phoebe: Oh, Ja! Ja!
Rachel: Yah! She's... uhm... not very good though... (Phoebe looks devastated)
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu... and why do you think that is?
Phoebe: Or... maybe she has trouble loosening your knots because you're such a high maintenance tight ass!
Rachel: (now lifts her head) Phoebe!!
Phoebe: You know it's me?
Phoebe: How can you come here?
Phoebe: I don't have to tell you everything!
Phoebe: Tips not included.
Rachel: Oh! Phoebe, why did you lie to me about working here?
Phoebe: Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash! And then they give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401K. But you know... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes!
Rachel: Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much, you should walk out there right now and quit! Be true to what you believe in! Honey, you have principles and I so admire that! I don't have any!
Phoebe: You know what? You are right. I am gonna quit. It's time I took my life back!
Phoebe: Ok.
Phoebe: Okay (walks out and closes the door behind her, looks up and whispers) If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you.
[Scene: The Spa Reception. Phoebe walks in]
Receptionist: Good morning Phoebe.
Phoebe: (imitating the receptionist's tone) Good morning receptionist.
Phoebe: Rachel Green? (angrily) Son of a bitch, she came back?
(Phoebe walks to the door and half-opens it)
Phoebe: (through the door, with a Scottish accent) Are you ready for your Scottish massage? Put your face in the hole, lassy.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Hi!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you!
Phoebe: David's like, y'know, Scientist Guy. He's very methodical.
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.]
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Phoebe: What make you think I can?! (Shields her eyes from it.)
Phoebe, Joey, and Ross: 'My scones.'
Monica: Phoebe, what, what happened here?!
(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)
Phoebe: Are there anymore from the good batch? Cause we could just work off of those.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Oh yeah?
Phoebe: Have you seen your guys body?
Phoebe: Cause thats just your taste.
Phoebe: Oh, Chandler funny?
Phoebe: I know. (Laughs.)
Phoebe: My guy is well read.
PHOEBE: Ok, ok, she's taking the trash out so I can get you out of here but it has to be now, she'll be back any minute.
Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.
PHOEBE: About 20 minutes. CLOSING CREDITS
Phoebe: No Im not! You are!
Phoebe: Okay Rachel, I cant wait to live with you! And you know what we should do? Bring Monica and then we could all live there together! Well have so much fun!!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Ohh. Oh wait! (Jis) you guys won�t be late for my dinner, will you?
Phoebe: (looks at the paper) Are these for rent! I thought people were just bragging!
Phoebe: (laughs harder) You make it so funny.
Phoebe: What did you do on yours?
Phoebe: No but you shouldn't! Don't ever do that again.
Phoebe: Yeah, I think it was better when you guys were sad. Hey, uh, remember the roller blades?
Phoebe: Rachel, what the hell is this?!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, thats the word I use when I cant remember the real thing.
Phoebe: So, Sebastian, do you do any volunteer work?
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Phoebe: I justI thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!
[Phoebe and Ryan walk outside.]
Phoebe: Okay sure!
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay! Okay, cause when-when he said, "I cant wait to hear your first words," I thought, "Theres a trick."
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: This is Patrick. (Points to him.)
Phoebe: Okay. Is it a kind of hot sandwich?
Phoebe: This is Patrick.
Phoebe: Yeah, this is the guy I was telling you about.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the kitchen, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are sitting around the table writing one notepads while Chandler is looking over their shoulders.]
Patrick: Yknow what Phoebe? This isnt really worth the free massage.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, lets talk it out.
Phoebe: Then why did she ask us to
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: Since when are you into swing music?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: Eh, dont be so hard on yourself. If someone I was still in love with was getting married
Phoebe: Youve got to get out of here! Save yourself!
Phoebe: Well, they fired me and Im having heart attack.
Phoebe: Dont worry about me, Im a robot! Im just a machine!!
[Sequence 1: Chandler is running past Phoebe with the ball, Phoebe flashes him, he stops and stares dumbfounded at her. Phoebe then runs up and takes the ball away.]
Phoebe: Yeah! So you're gonna call this one back?
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
Phoebe: (looks at Monica) Hey, yknow what might cheer you up?
Phoebe: (she stops reading from the script) Oh my God.
Phoebe: I am.
Phoebe: Well, maybe he wouldnt be she didnt bring the office home every night!
Phoebe: I am extremely talented!
Phoebe: What is your job?
Phoebe: Oh no, one of those look for the hidden meaning songs.
Phoebe Sr: Well, yeah! I mean yeah, but only for three days.
Phoebe: Oh, well, see, there's this guy she met at the...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: It's not that bad.
Phoebe: Okay. Oh umm, Chandler, Monica is looking for you.
Phoebe: Chandler, Chandler.
Phoebe: Well no, it was my fault so you should get the nice room.
(Ursula Buffay, Phoebes identical twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable manner.)
Phoebe: (singing) And I'm still waiting for my paper mache man. Thank you my babies.
Phoebe: (entering from Rachel's bedroom) I found it!
Phoebe: Oh! All right. Now, let's not do this!
Phoebe: I know! I know! I know!
Phoebe: Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts!
Phoebe: No. Im-Im to depressed to talk.
Phoebe: Yeah. So, we can do it tomorrow night, you guys. It's Valentine's Day. It's perfect.
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: (To Ross) Hes holding us back.
Phoebe: No! Joey, youre going to be great!
Phoebe: (in a sexy voice to Chandler) Ill be waiting.
Phoebe: Oh, I love paper mache! What did you make?
Phoebe: Ive never done that.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) We do?
Phoebe: I want to see what he wants first.
Phoebe: Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received.
(Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe enter.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are there, Joey is demonstrating a card trick.]
Phoebe: Oh, I wasnt even thinking about that.
Mike: Phoebe you don't have to eat...
(Phoebe picks up her cell-phone and calls Monica. Monica is still packing in her apartment.)
Phoebe: So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself.
Phoebe: I know, I took it hard too.
Rachel: Yeah. Your teeth? Yes, I saw them from outside. (Sitting down on the couch.) You guys are never going to believe this. But, Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren.
Phoebe: Why would the copy guy say he was Ralph Lauren?
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Ok, who wants to hear something ironic?
Phoebe: Oh, I'm going to give him something else besides joy, just (She scowls at him.)