words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel are there, as Phoebe enters with her date.]
Phoebe: (to her date) Okay, and then this is the coffee house. This is where I play my music. (points to the stage)
Phoebe: Yeah, and these are my friends. People. This is Vince, Vince the people.
Phoebe: Vince is a fireman.
Vince: (to Phoebe) Look, I gotta go. I'm on call tonight. (kisses her) See you Saturday. (leaves)
Phoebe: Okay. (watches him leave)
Phoebe: Oh, Jason? Yeah, uh-huh, we're seeing each other tonight.
Phoebe: I know, I know! I'm like playing the field. Y'know? Like, juggling two guys, I'm sowing my wild oats. Y'know? Y'know, this kind've like y'know oat-sowin', field-playin' juggler.
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads? (Joey makes an `I don't know' face, and looks to Chandler and Rachel, who're also stumped) Okay, no they don't.
[cut to Phoebe and Rachel as Monica returns from the bathroom]
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking with her second date, Jason.]
Phoebe: That is so great! Oh, I... (sees that a parked car near them has caught on fire) Oh my God!
Phoebe: (the fire has worsened) Oh my God!!!
Phoebe: (stopping him) No! No!
Phoebe: Well, we don't n-n-n-n-need a fireman, we'd, we'd like a good mechanic. (hears the sound of approaching sirens) Oh my God, here they come! Well, we gotta get out of here!
Phoebe: Well look, if I wanted to see a fireman, I would date one. Okay? (she drags him away)
Phoebe: (entering with Rachel) and I-I can't take it! Y'know? I'm just, always afraid one of them is gonna catch me with the other one. It's making me crazy.
Phoebe: (disgusted) Uh.
Phoebe: Well, it just, it doesn't feel like playing anymore, it feels like work. It's like I'm working in the field.
Phoebe: Well, Vince is great, y'know `cause, he's like a guy, guy. Y'know? He's so burly, he's sooo very burly. (giggles)
Phoebe: Yeah, but Jason's really sensitive.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Jason is not a sissy!
Rachel: (entering with Phoebe) This place is amazing.
Phoebe: God, that is the nicest kitchen.
Phoebe: No! But it's the nicest kitchen, the refrigerator told me to have a great day.
Phoebe: All right. I gotta go. I have break up with Vince.
Phoebe: Yeah, I like Vince a lot, y'know? But, its just Jasons so sensitive, y'know? And in the long run, I think sensitive its just better than having just like a really, really, really nice (pause) butt. (Her eyes glaze over thinking about the butt.) (pause) Jason! Definitely Jason! Okay, wish me luck!
[Scene: A Fire House, Phoebe has gone to break up with Vince.]
Phoebe: Excuse me. Umm, is Vince here?
Phoebe: Wow! I didnt know you guys actually used those.
Phoebe: Umm, wow. This-this isnt gonna be easy. Umm, I dont think we should see each other anymore.
Phoebe: Im sorry.
Phoebe: Oh my God, I didnt
Phoebe: (running after him) Wait-wait-wait! Wait!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
Phoebe: (to Ross) Im telling you, if you want to take care of that thing, you should go to my herbal guy.
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh, you so would! Oh, you should get that anyway. (They both look at her.) Like for clubbing.
Phoebe: Hey Mon umm, if you do get married, can I bring two guests?
Phoebe: No, that was my way of telling you. Well, it turns out hes incredibly sensitive, he keeps a journal and he paints. He even showed me charcoal drawings that he drew of me.
Phoebe: Yeah, well hed prefer water colors, but y'know, he has easy access to a lot of charcoal.
Phoebe: Well, yeah, because I have to break up with someone, and Okay so Jason is sensitive, (holds up one finger) but now sos Vince (holds up one finger on her other hand) Plus, Vince has the body y'know? (holds up two more fingers on the Vince side) So Its really just about the math.
[Scene: Jasons apartment, Phoebe has gone to break up with Jason.]
Phoebe: (knocks on the door) Jason?
Jason: So Phoebe, you ah, sounded kinda serious on the phone, is ah, is anything wrong?
Phoebe: Nah-ha!
[Scene: Phoebes Herbal Guys office, Ross is there about his thing. Ross is looking around the exam room, and he goes over to a large bank of drawers, pulls one out and almost spills it as the herbalist, Guru Saj, enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebes singing, Vince is also there.]
Phoebe: (singing) Crazy underwear, creepin up my butt. (Jason enters) Crazy underwear, always in a rut. Crazy under-(sees Jason)-wear (In her head) Oh No! What is he doing here? All right, just keep playing, just keep playing. Youll get through this; youll be fine. (She tries to continue the song, but she has lost the ability to pronounce words, and the lyrics come out as gibberish.) (giving up on the song) Okay, thank you. And, as always no one talk to me after the show.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: I dont know, he just started kissing me. Get him! Get him, Vince!
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, Ive-Ive been dating both of you, and its been really horrible. Cause y'know its been a lot of fun, for me. Umm, but I-I like you both, and I, and I didnt know how to chose, so... Im sorry, Im just, Im terrible, Im a terrible person. Im terrible.
Vince: Phoebe, Phoebe relax, its okay. I mean we never said this was exclusive.
Phoebe: Really?!
Phoebe: Well, this is none of my business. (starts to walk away)
Jason: (to Phoebe) I-I cant believe this! You-youve slept with him?!
Phoebe: Well, I made you a candle light dinner in the park.
Jason: Y'know Phoebe, Im gonna make this real easy for you. (walks out)
Phoebe: (to Vince) Well, that couldve been really awkward.
Phoebe: Yeah, but I-I-I-I can do that for you, Im gonna do that for you.
PHOEBE: Oh, this is so nice. Alright I have to make a speech. I just wanna say that of all the guys that Monica has been with, and that is a lot, I like you the best.
Phoebe: Or we could just follow your clever jokes any ideas? No! Didnt think so! Okay, cmon guys, show us where the presents are!
Phoebe: Yes, but there isn't always time!
Phoebe: Fine! Ill call Zurich and move some money around.
Phoebe: Marcel?
Monica: Look, Phoebe!
Phoebe: Marcel?
Phoebe: Oh-my-God!
Phoebe: Oh, exellent. Everyone was so, so nice.
(Phoebe and Chandler enter)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is coaching Chandler on how to break up with Janice.]
Phoebe: Hey! Ooh! How was teaching last night?
Phoebe: I-I-Id love to. Let me just tell my friend.
Monica: (grabbing a bag of Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chips) Phoebe, is this the recipe? (Tosses her the bag.)
Phoebe: Whoah, ooh, why is the air in here so negative?
Phoebe: The most popular Phoebe in tennis is called the overhand Phoebe. And if you win, you must slap your opponent on the Phoebe and say, "Hi, Phoebe!"
Phoebe: Well at Monicas you can eat(Suddenly cracks up.)
Phoebe: No, I didn't tell anybody that I knew you.
Phoebe: Nope.
Phoebe: Why would you leave your Belgian waffle in the hall?
Phoebe: Pat Sajak?
Phoebe: So-so you two were married huh? What happened? You just drift apart?
Phoebe: Okay, they're just talking...
Phoebe: Oh, because, you know... they don't like you.
Phoebe: So, uh, why didn't you say anything?
Phoebe: I thought you knew that.
Phoebe: I can hop. (She hops onto the table)
Phoebe: Dun-dun-duuuur! Sorry.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Ross has an icepack to his head.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is at the sink and Chandler is looking at a ring brochure.]
Phoebe: Everyone. Except for uh... no everyone.
Dr. Harad: Just-just to clarify, I'm not Fonzie. (Phoebe nods in agreement as he leaves.)
Phoebe: (from outside) Trick or treat! (It�s obviously Halloween eve, the night of her birthday dinner.)
Phoebe: Well, I mean, then what happens if it doesn't work out?
Phoebe: (points at Joey's pen) Uh, uh, gimme. Can you see me operating a drill press?
Phoebe: No! I am a positive person. You are like Santa Clause on Prozac, at Disneyland, getting laid!
Phoebe: Sex in his chair.
Phoebe: Don't feel bad. You know they used to like you a lot. But then you got promoted, and, you know, now you're like "Mr. Boss Man". You know, Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing, "Boss Man Bing".
Phoebe: Where are you going?
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah. They even do you.
Arthur: (To another coworker) Call security. (To Phoebe) Pheebs, didnt you get fired?
Phoebe: The woman who cuts my hair!
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Oh my God! Did you hear that? She hired me because she thinks Im good.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey returns from his audition and finds everyone but Phoebe there.]
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laughs)
Phoebe: Oh yeah it is! Im going to the movies and it starts in like five minutes.
Phoebe: Rdtor.
Phoebe: Any chance Charlie has a deaf twin?
PHOEBE: We were just wondering if Chandler's girlfriend is a girl.
Phoebe: Whoo-hoo!
Phoebe: You know he's gay?
[Scene: The Hotel Lobby, Rachel and Phoebe are at the front desk checking out.]
Phoebe: Ooh, technically you owe me $600 for sending out happy thoughts on your last ten auditions.
(Phoebe, Joey and Ross laugh)
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: What are you doing?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Phoebe: I don't know, you might be the first one.
Phoebe and Rachel: Aww.
Phoebe: I don't know what I'm gonna do about this coat.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, the next day. Phoebe is busy making a sandwich.]
Phoebe: (exhausted) How do you feel?
PHOEBE: I like this lily. It's more open, ya know, and that's like my mom. She had a more open, giving spirit. Ooh, Foghorn Leghorn, ooh.
Phoebe Sr.: Well, I dont know. I mean its not like we dont have anything in common. I mean I like uh, pizza.
Phoebe: Now, are you sure you dont want to go see a doctor?
RICHARD: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.
Phoebe: Oh my God! You got off easy! When my friend Silvie's husband said someone else's name in bed, she cursed him and turned his thingy green.
Phoebe: (as though Rachel wasn't paying attention) Yummy noises.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. Feel better, Rachel, 'kay?
Phoebe: Plus that shirt doesn't really match those pants.
(Phoebe smiles, when Joey takes her face in his hands and kisses her. Joey gets up to leave but stops suddenly. Phoebe silently shouts "Oh, whoa!!" to herself, and leans back in the sofa to recover, a hand to her tingling lips. A thoughtful Joey is also feeling his lips, so he hesitates for a moment, then returns for a better view, he thinks again, cocking his head from side to side to regard her profile from various angles, then...)
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: I really do, yeah.
Phoebe: Well, then you should come tonight. You know, just hang out with them. Let them see what a great guy you still are.
Phoebe: No, but you can't.
Phoebe: Uh uh.
Phoebe: Maybe that's 'cause she's not really gone.
Phoebe: How - how do I get them to name the next one after me?
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Check it out! Cup hat! (Points to her hat.) Cup banner! Cup chandelier! And the thing that started it all, the cup! (Holds up one.)
Phoebe: Petrie.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Aw, remember the days when you used to go out to the barn, lift up your shirt, and bend over?
Phoebe: Did I miss it, did I miss it?
Rachel: Oh but Phoebe, were gonna be late for the movie.
Phoebe: No..umm, could I talk to one of them? Its very very important.
Phoebe: Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute.
Phoebe: Thanks, Ross.
Phoebe: (singing)
Phoebe: Ok.
Rachel: Phoebe, I mean, you do know hes married?
Phoebe: Intense and creepy.
Phoebe: Yeah, I really liked that fighter pilot one.
Phoebe: Mhm... it's moist.
(Phoebe goes to leave the room, but the door is locked.)
Phoebe: (singing) They found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next...(sees Ross and Susan staring at her) la la la la la la.
Phoebe: Your mom was arrested?
Phoebe: What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets. And the wind sure made it fun.
Phoebe: This is so great.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I cant believe my little brother is married!
Phoebe: Oh my God. This is where you got all our stuff, Pottery Barn! Oh my God!