words in movies
[Cut to the girls apartment, Monica is putting things into her purse as Phoebe and Rachel watch.]
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom used to put her head in the oven. Well, actually, she only did it the one time. But it was pretty weird.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, Monica is telling Phoebe where everything is.]
Phoebe: Okay, okay, but Rachels gonna be here too, cant I just ask her this stuff?
Phoebe: Ohhh, I wanna come over there and give you a hug and wish you luck on your wedding, but I dontcant get up.
Phoebe: Great! Yeah, could you bring me the newspaper?
Ross: Yeah. (He does so and Phoebe hugs him.)
Phoebe: Oh, have a great wedding!
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Chandler I wanna hug you too!
Phoebe: Oh, and great! You might as well bring me my book, its on the counter in your apartment.
Chandler: Oh. (Goes and gets Phoebes book as Rachel comes in from her room.)
Chandler: (entering, with Phoebes book.) Here you go Phoebe! Here you go Phobo! Phewbedo! Phaybobo.
Phoebe: (laughs) Thank you.
Phoebe: Thank you. (She pats him on his head.)
Phoebe: Oh, do you need a hug? You dont have to bring me anything!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Oh. Oh.
Phoebe: Oh, no. Oh, nothing.
Phoebe: Okay, I have a wedgie.
Phoebe: So-so, what do you want for lunch?
Phoebe: Yeah, I do. Whats the matter?
Phoebe: Eh, dont be so hard on yourself. If someone I was still in love with was getting married
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Oh. No. No. Good! Yeah, me neither.
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
Phoebe: We thought you knew!
Phoebe: Yeah, we all know! We talk about it all the time!
Phoebe: Oh no, Ross doesnt know anything.
Phoebe: Well, because we thought you knew!! Its so obvious! God, that would be like telling Monica, "Hey, you like things clean."
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the couch as Rachel returns carrying a bunch of shopping bags.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So, did shopping make you feel any better about Ross?
Phoebe: Well, I think I can help you get over him.
Phoebe: Yeah. I just need you to bring me some photos of Ross.
Phoebe: And a small piece of chocolate.
Phoebe: And a glass of tepid water. (She gathers up all of these things.)
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
Phoebe: Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. Umm, lets try some uh, aversion therapy.
Phoebe: Okay?
Phoebe: So uh, now look at the picture
Phoebe: All right, and umm (She grabs the picture and smacks her in the head.)
Phoebe: Okay, how do you feel now?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone rings and Phoebe answers it.]
Phoebe: Hello.
Phoebe: Hey, Joey! Hey! Ooh! Ooh! I just say someone on thethat looks just like you on the subway. And I was gonna go over and say hi! but then I figured, he doesnt care if he looks like you.
Phoebe: Ohh, theyre having a great time with their Aunt Phoebe! Aunt Rachel hasnt been helpful at all. So, do you miss me?
Phoebe: So youre not homesick yet?
Phoebe: All right, the seven of us miss you.
Phoebe: Yknow, me, Rachel, the birds, the babies
(There is a knock on Rachel and Phoebes door.)
Phoebe: Ooh, the pizza guys here!
Phoebe: Yeah. But yknow we were thinking about you, yknow we ordered the Joey Special.
Phoebe: Yep! Okay, gotta go, talk to you later.
(Phoebe has already hung up, leaving Joey in the dark. So Joey decides to watch some TV and turns on a rerun of Cheers, with the theme song playing. At first, hes happy, but as the song progresses Joey gets depressed and homesick.)
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Yeah, its in the guys apartment under the sink. Why?
Phoebe: What?! What do you mean youre going to London?
Phoebe: IRachel, you cant go! Ross loves Emily!
Phoebe: Thats not why youre going! Youre going because you hope hes gonna say, "Yeah, I love you too, Rach. Forget that British chippy."
Phoebe: No! Because hes in love with the British chippy! Look, Rachel, if you go, youre just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding! Yknow, its too late! You missed youre chance! Im sorry, I know this must be really hard, its over.
Phoebe: I do! I do! I do! (Chases her into the hall, but Rachel doesnt stop.) I do! (Gives up.) Ugh, like I can really chase you. Im carrying a litter.
Phoebe: Oh...yes..is this..umm..Emilys Parents house.
Phoebe: (In a British accent) This is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if-if its not too much trouble, please, umm, might I speak to Miss Emily Waltham, please?
Phoebe: No no no, Ill be nice, I swear!!! Could you just give me the number for where they are?
Phoebe: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you dont give me that number then Im going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.
Phoebe: Hello, Hello. Ohh, OHH, she knew I could kick her ass.
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
[Scene: The Girls apartment. Phoebe is dialing the phone and Rachel runs in the door.]
Phoebe: (Looking relieved. She puts down the phone.) Oh thank god. Oh, you changed your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to be alone, and you dont want to talk about it, thats fine. I just want you to know, I think you are doing the right thing and...
Phoebe: (Trying to get up.) Wait!! Where are you going?! What are you doing?! No!! Wait!! (Not able to get up.) God!! Why am I always pregnant when she does that?!
Phoebe: Oh, hi, Mrs. Waltham. I need to speak with ether one of the best men, or Rosss sister Monica.
Phoebe: Oh, Im Phoebe Buffay. Im one of Rosss best friends.
Phoebe: Yeah, um, I cant fly. Im having my brothers babies.
Phoebe: No..umm, could I talk to one of them? Its very very important.
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay, Im going to have to kick her ass too.
Phoebe: (Angrily.) Hey, were the hell have you been?!
Phoebe: I dont want to hear about her!!
Phoebe: No! No, we have an emergency. Okay? Rachels coming to London.
Phoebe: No its not great. No, shes coming to tell Ross that she loves him.
Phoebe: I KNOW THAT!!! You have to stop her!! Shes going to ruin the wedding!!
Phoebe: All right, so, okay...
Phoebe: Okay, so Im done my part, okay. Its your responsibility now, okay. The burden is off me, right?
Phoebe: So tell me about this girl?
Joey: Look weve got to find her. Phoebe just called!! Rachels coming to tell Ross she loves him!!
Phoebe: Mrs. Waltham. Hi. Its Phoebe again.
Phoebe: Yea. Can I please, please, please talk to one of the best men? This is going to be the last time I promise.
Phoebe: Did you stop Rachel?
Phoebe: So nothing got ruined?
Phoebe: Oh thats so great! Ohh, so whats going on now?
Joey: Ah, Im-Im walking down the aisle...Still walking. (Mrs. Waltham takes her place.) Im about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. (Looking at the bridesmaid.) Hey! (Talking to Phoebe.) I told her "Hey." And now Im at the front with Ross. Its Phoebe. (He shows Ross the phone.) He looks pretty mad. Uh...Id better go.
Phoebe: No!! wait, wait, wait!! Oh please, hold it up so I can listen. (Joey looks at Ross and holds the phone above Rosss shoulder.)
Phoebe: Hey! Ooh, wow that jacket looks great on you!
Phoebe: PHOE-BE.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Oh yeah! I-I would like that.
Amy turns around to Phoebe: Emma, Ross wants you.
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Phoebe: Wait! What?! No!! Elevator!! No!
Phoebe: No. (Pause) Neither is mine.
Phoebe: Hands.
Phoebe: Thank you. (Starts to exit.)
Phoebe: Absolutely! Yknow, you get this rush of feelings, but then it goes away.
Phoebe: Thats a great movie. <she claps>
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: What else? What else?
Phoebe: Enter Pheebs.
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are on the couch as a man enters.]
[Scene: Room 816, Phoebe is making her move on Cliff.]
Phoebe: I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.
[Scene: Room 816, Phoebe and Cliff are eating some pudding with spoons.]
Phoebe: (lets go of his hand) You have... have a girlfriend?
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
[Scene: Back in the kitchen at the funeral. Phoebe is there, Monica enters.]
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Can we come in?
Phoebe: Oh, shes so beautiful.
Phoebe: Yknow! You dont make a very good first impression.
Phoebe: Yay!
Phoebe: Oh, it ate your money?
Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Is she in there?
Phoebe: Five minutes ago, a line like that wouldve floored me. Now nothing. Well, not nothing, I am still a woman.
PHOEBE: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, like you never called!
Phoebe: To see if know what these guys are talking about.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh and I need to talk to you.
Phoebe: Yay! Its so exciting! Wow, you couldve done that with us there.
Phoebe: You didn't bring one! My cab's downstairs, I'll drive you to the airport.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Are you all right?
Phoebe: Well, but thats what he was for me. And she you know, kind of stole him away, and then... broke his heart... and then he wouldnt even talk to me any more. Because he said he didnt wanna be around... anything that looked like either one of us.
[Scene: Rachels Room, Phoebe is entering.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! He did it?
Monica: Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Phoebe: Especially Ross!
Phoebe: Although he does play with himself in his sleep.
Phoebe: Oh hey! Wait up!
Phoebe: And so engaged. (Points to the ring that Rachel is wearing.)
Phoebe: All right, me too. (They go into her room and see that shes sleeping.) Should we wake her up?
Phoebe: Really?
Phoebe: So whose ring is it?
Phoebe: No! No, she said you actually proposed to her.
Phoebe: Huh, I might be losing interest in this.
Phoebe: But you didnt give it to her?
Phoebe: Hey. Ooh, look at you, dressy-dress.
Phoebe: Oh. Ah-uh.
Monica: Damnit! Damnit!! Heres your fifty bucks! (Pays Phoebe.)
Ross: It was just a kiss. (Phoebe enters and overhears this.)
[Scene: Monicas Hotel Room, Chandler and Monicas parents and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: Hey what are you guys looking at?
Ross: And you told Phoebe you were engaged.
Phoebe: Shocking! Lets play the game of who can stay quiet the longest. (Giggles)
Phoebe: Regina Philange. (Ken and Regina shake hands.)
Monica: Phoebe did the signs!
Phoebe: Look at all the stuff people sent!
Phoebe: Oh my God! I had the best time with Tim last night. He is so sweet! Oh, I cant wait to get sous-neath him.
Phoebe: (stops at a door) Oh no, the Mendels, they hate all living things, right?
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.]
Phoebe: You know thats thats her.
Phoebe: I could be a secretary.
Phoebe: It really does how long do you think we have to stay?
(David and Phoebe sit down at a table close to Chandler and Monica's)
Phoebe: Chandler sucks! He couldnt have gotten this good!
Phoebe: I see. Nice sidestep on the do do thing by the way.
Phoebe: Hes miserable! What happened to him?
Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither".
Phoebe: Um you, you got a minute?
Rachel: Here you go. (Hands Emma to Phoebe)
Phoebe: I don't know. I'll just handle itI'll ask you to talk to him!
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: I call their apartment!!!
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
MONICA: [Chandler tries to come back with a smart-ass remark but can't swallow the muffin.] Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.
Phoebe: Look at you all grown up.
PHOEBE: Well, come on, who cares what that guy thinks. What does Warren Beatty know about kissing (Chandler and Monica, give her a look that says 'think about it') Ooh.
Phoebe: Done. Oh good, really?
Phoebe: That was the best part? (To Chandler) Good honeymooning tiger.
Phoebe: Wh.. what? No wait, you don't get to leave! I've got a massage client waiting outside my door any minute!
Phoebe: (Enters) Hey!
Phoebe: All right. (Gets up and walks out.)
Joey: Ohh! (Realises it was all a trick to get Phoebe to name the baby Chandler.)
Phoebe: Wow, you guys go way back then. So what are you up to these days?
Phoebe: Wow, that's great! I liked that better than the law thing, so...
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Do you not know each other?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with her boyfriend Roger, talking to Rachel and Monica.]
Mike: Phoebe writes lots of great songs. Wha... What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved?
Phoebe: Sure.