words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is sitting in the living room and Phoebe is standing in the kitchen as the phone rings.]
Phoebe: Why? Just 'cause you're too lazy to get up off your touchie?
Phoebe: (smiles) Okay! (Goes to answer the phone.)
Phoebe: (answering the phone) Hello? (Listens) Hey Joey!
Phoebe: Sure! Where is it?
Phoebe: Ohh! So you're 5639?!
Phoebe: (to Joey) Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler?
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Is that Joey?! (She nods yes) Let me talk to him!
[Cut to Phoebe]
Phoebe: Who was that?
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
[Cut to Phoebe]
Phoebe: Yeah! (She hands the phone to Chandler.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering.]
Phoebe: Monica! I'm sorry I'm late! (Starts looking around for her) Monica? (Goes into Monica's bedroom.)
Monica: (entering) Phoebe? (Phoebe comes back into the living room) Oh, Phoebe, I'm so sorry. Have you been here long?
Phoebe: (saddened) It's okay. What the hell took you so long?
Phoebe: Which Richard?
Phoebe: Richard Simmons?! Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh! Okay, that actually makes more sense. So how was it?
Phoebe: That is so weird! I had a dream that you'd have lunch with Richard.
Phoebe: But again, Simmons. Go on.
Phoebe: Ooh! So now why can't we tell Chandler?
Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you guys lasted a whole year!
Phoebe: Wow! I owe Rachel 20 bucks!
Phoebe: On a totally different bet.
Phoebe: Awww! Now you're just my annoying friend Chandler.
Phoebe: Okay, I'm gonna go too!
Phoebe: Oh please, you are not gonna ditch again like you did with London.
Monica: Ditch you? Phoebe, you were pregnant with the triplets!
Phoebe: Uh-huh, great story! I'm going!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Hey, you guys, listen, this weekend we're all gonna go to Las Vegas to surprise Joey! Including me!! You wanna go?!
Phoebe: Of course you can take a couple days off work because this trip includes me!
Phoebe: Oh yeah, so you can walk around naked.
Phoebe: Naked alone time.
Rachel: No! Phoebe just because I'm alone doesnt mean I wanna walk around naked. I mean, you live alone, you don't walk around naked.
Phoebe: Uh-huh! Why do you think it takes me so long to answer the door?
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Phoebe has the aisle seat, Chandler the window, and Monica's stuck in that horrible middle seat.]
Phoebe: So, so far is this trip to Vegas better or worse than the trip to London?
Phoebe: Okay, what about after I give you these candies? (Hands them each one from her purse.)
Phoebe: Ah-ha! Okay, (takes out a notepad) Las Vegas 1, London 0! I'll be right back. (Gets up and heads aft.)
Phoebe: (sitting down) Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing.
Phoebe: Oh no. [The patented version.]
Phoebe: (To Monica under her breath) Simmons! Go with Simmons!
Phoebe: Okay, London 1
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas, the Strip, slot machines, a couple other gaming tables all set to the tune of you guessed it, Money. Anyhoo, we finally get through that and watch Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe enter Caesar's Palace carrying their luggage.]
Phoebe: Hey you guys wait! Guys! (Catches up to them.) This place is so much better than London! Okay? This lady dressed like Cleopatra gave me a coupon, 99 cent steak and lobster dinner. Huh!
Monica: Phoebe, you don't eat animals.
Phoebe: For 99 cents, I'd eat you. (Sees the casino) Okay, I can totally settle down here. It's got everything I could ever want, including Joey! Look! (Points to Joey in his gladiator suit posing for a picture with two old ladies.) Oh! Look! Hi!
Phoebe: Hey! Joey! (They all head over to him, he spots them coming and panics.) Hey! Hey!! Wow! (She hugs him.)
Phoebe: Why are you dressed as a gladiator?
Phoebe: So you're a gladiator! Wow!
Phoebe: Monica had lunch with Richard.
Phoebe: Noo! But that would've been so cool!
Phoebe: I love Vegas!
[Scene: The casino bar, Phoebe and Monica are sitting at the bar, while Wayne Newton's signature song Danke Schoen is playing in the background.]
Phoebe: Thanks.
Phoebe: Y'know Monica you had a minor setback in your relationship with Chandler. Big deal! It's only Chandler. (Monica turns and stares at her.) I am so sorry.
Phoebe: So go fix it! Go find Chandler! He's probably up in your room! Tell him that you're sorry and that you love him.
Monica: Y'know what? You're right Phoebe. You're right. Thank you! (Gets up to find Chandler.)
Phoebe: Sure! (When Monica gets close to the door.) (Yelling) Yeah! Las Vegas, number one!
(Joey starts to leave to embark on his genius moneymaking scheme, but is freaked out slightly when as he goes to open the door, there's a mysterious knock. He calms himself down and opens the door to reveal Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Ohh, you are so lucky! (To Chandler) Hey! So, where's Monica? Did you guys make up?
Phoebe: But she just came up here!
Phoebe: I wonder where she is. That is so weird.
Phoebe: Would you stop that! Do you wanna know the first thing she said when she came back from her lunch with Richard? She didn't feel anything for him. She loves you!
Phoebe: Yes! Now, she feels terrible! She really wants to make up! You gotta find her.
Phoebe: Good. (After he leaves, she puts on Joey's gladiator helmet and checks herself out in the mirror) I should really start wearing hats!
Phoebe: (sees Ross and Rachel) Hey!
Ross: Phoebe! (They hug.)
Phoebe: You guys are here! Yay!
Rachel: Hi! (Hugs Phoebe)
Phoebe: (sees Rachel's face) What? Did you go to a costume party? Let me guess umm Pancho Vila? (Points at Rachel) and you're Bob Saget. (An old lady has sat down at the slot machine Phoebe was just at.)
Phoebe: Yeah! (Motions to her face, indicating all of Rachel's "make-up.")
Phoebe: Whoa, what kind of party was this?
(The old lady at Phoebe's machine wins. Phoebe turns around in shock.)
Phoebe: Ugh!
Phoebe: That's like the third time that lady's won on a machine I was playing.
Phoebe: M-M-Mole people?
Phoebe: Oh. What's a lurker?
Phoebe: Kills you?
Phoebe: Ohhh!
Phoebe: How do you know about this?
Phoebe: Dance karate?
[Scene: The casino, Phoebe is playing on a slot machine. Suddenly the lurker sticks her head around the aisle of slot machines.]
Phoebe: (seeing her) Get out of here you lurker! (She doesn't move) Go on! Get! (She throws a quarter at her.)
Phoebe: Ohh! You made up!
Phoebe: Ohh, get a room.
Phoebe: I know. Use it.
[Scene: The slot machines, Phoebe is still feeding quarters into the one-armed bandit as the lurker peeks over the top of the machines.]
Phoebe: Oh well, lost again. (She gets up and slowly moves away. The lurker scurries in and takes her spot, only this time Phoebe set a trap for her and catches her in the act.) That's it! You and me, outside!
(They start smacking each other's cups, but Phoebe notices a security guard approaching.)
Phoebe: Be cool! (They both pretend to have a nice conversation as the guard walks by, but after he leaves they both start fighting again.) Okay lady, your lurking days are over!
Phoebe: Yeah, from now on everyone you lurk, I'm gonna lurk first! You move on to someone else, I'm gonna be one step ahead of you, every single time! And then I'll be on your ass every hour of every day 'til Monday, because that's when I go home. When do you leave?
Phoebe: What time? Maybe we can share a cab!
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
Phoebe: I won! I won! I finally won!
Phoebe: Fine! Here! Take a hike toots! (Gives back her quarter.)
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Is that true miss?
Phoebe: (quietly) Sells drugs to kids.
Phoebe: She sells drugs to kids. (The guard looks at the lurker.)
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Was it her quarter?
Phoebe: How about we talk about this over dinner?
Phoebe: No! No, you can't arrest me! No!! I won't go back! I won't go back to that hell hole!!
Phoebe: Oh, okay. (Walks out.)
Phoebe: (entering and sitting down at the table.) Hello. My name is Regina Phalange. I'm a businesswoman in town on business. Would you like to see my card? (Looks down) Ooh, what did I do with my file-a-facts? I must've left it in conference room B.
Phoebe: Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
(The security guard from before approaches and Phoebe tries to turn her back on him.)
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Didn't I just throw you out of here?
Phoebe: No, you threw out Phoebe. I'm Ms. Regina Phalange. Phalange!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Phoebe: Lets see. (Looking at the picture) Oh my God! Oh But no! No! You cant-you cant hire him, because thatits not professional. Umm, this is for me (The picture) yes? Thanks. (Puts it in her pocket.)
Phoebe: Please, I think you know why.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is looking at her beeper still in the pot. She takes it out, shakes it, and puts it back in.]
Phoebe: Im just helping the kids!
Guest #1: See ya Phoebe! Oh and hey, thanks for chipping in!
PHOEBE: It's not even that. I used to do my songs because it made me happy, but now it's like, it's just all about the money.
Phoebe: Heh?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Phoebe: You are useless! Freaking out about commitment is the one thing you can do! The one thing! And you can't even do that right! God!
Phoebe: Oh, okay.
Phoebe: So, youre like a zillionaire? (Pete smiles and nods)
Phoebe: Who's day just got better? CHANDLER!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Why do you care about the guy who won the Paris trip?
Phoebe: Oh no! Not that guy! He does look like him though.
Phoebe: Wait a minute. What's his name?
[Cut to Phoebes room, Phoebe has put her helmet on one of her teddy bears and is playing around with it. Ross knocks and pokes his head in the door.]
Phoebe: Good one! Yeah.
Phoebe: What happened?
Phoebe: I wanna see whats in your hand. I wanna see the trash.
Monica: Phoebe, stop writing about us!
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel and Phoebe are sitting at the table as Joey approaches.]
Rachel: Phoebe, come on can we finish this later? Cause I wanna go running before it gets dark. Oh! Why don't you come with me?!
Phoebe: (shes strumming something) Yeah? (Joey nods yes.) Okay, I think Ill play it at the wedding.
Phoebe: (Angrily.) Hey, were the hell have you been?!
Phoebe: Yeah. Not looking for dates. (Monica turns in horror.)
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking along with the diplomat (Sergei) and his translator (Mischa).]
Phoebe: Not that often!
Phoebe: I know, theyre gonna be so happy together.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is bringing Phoebe some coffee.]
Phoebe: Me too! So happy for them!
Phoebe: Yeah, do you want to break a dying womans heart?
Monica: (grabs a bag of those Styrofoam peanuts) Ill be coordinator! Oh my God! Im so sorry, I didnt get you anything! Okay, look everybody has to help! Okay? You can help, cant you Phoebe?
Phoebe: What do you mean?
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Joey.
Phoebe: Definitely!
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah I got that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is saying good-bye to her boyfriend Jake at the door to Central Perk.]
Phoebe: Hm-mmm.
Phoebe: Yeah, I locked him years ago!
Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe: Hey, Mon.
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone exept Phoebe and Chandler is there. Ross's beeper goes off and everyone exept him react.]
Ross: Phoebe.
Rachel: Phoebe?! Wait abut-but she just, she said that Joey was her backup.
Phoebe: I know but its so hard! Nothing rhymes with your stupid name!
Phoebe: Yeah, and maybe that youre a real (She says something in Italian, and it doesnt matter what she said. Its not important so I dont need everyone who speaks Italian telling me what she said.)
Phoebe: All right well lets see, Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boatThis is hard!
Ross: Phoebe, how could you do this to me?!
Rachel: Oh God, Phoebe!
Phoebe: Good!
Phoebe: Well you certainly cant give her that stupid gumball ring.
Phoebe: (reading) Ross!
Phoebe: Yeah absolutely! (They both switch.)
Monica: This is so typical. Y'know, we give, and we give, and we give. And then- we just get nothing back! And then one day, y'know, it's just, you wake up, and "See you around!" Let's go, Phoebe.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) So this is Brooklyn.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is reading a map as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: (Thinks for a moment.) Aw, dammit! (Slams the phone down.)
[Scene: Healing Hands, Inc., Phoebe is giving Rick a massage.]
Rachel: Phoebe, his music could not get any worse. There are rats in the basement that are hanging themselves.
PHOEBE: [singing] Sometimes men love women, sometimes men love men, and then there are bisexuals, though some just say they're kidding themselves. la la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
Phoebe: Got it.
Phoebe: Oh no wait no, this is wrong! Ross isnt here!
Monica: Phoebe knows and she's just trying to freak us out! That's the only explanation for it!
Phoebe: Eh, better her than me! Hey, lets bake cookies!
Phoebe: Oh, 19! We thought you said 90!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Thank you Rachel but, look at Monica!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Im talking about massages.
Monica: Phoebe!
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is there, Phoebe is returning from the bathroom.]
PHOEBE: I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick.
Phoebe: Yeah! Yeah! Convince her that-that youre scared of commitment! Convince her that youre a little coward!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is in the living room and Phoebe is in her room.]
Phoebe: Okay. (She goes to get ready.)
Rachel: Okay come on Phoebe, its nothing! Monica, come on!
PHOEBE: But, but this is my gig. This is where I play. My, my name is written out there in chalk. You know, you can't just erase chalk.
Phoebe: (coming back out) Hey! Rachel! Come on!!!!
Phoebe: Well yeah, that and Chandlers problem.
Phoebe: Why?!
Phoebe: Would she?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still watching TV. Phoebe stands in front of the TV.]
Phoebe: yeah well (pause) yeah you know Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.
Phoebe: Yknow, I dont really their permission.
Phoebe: Maybe just 10 minutes for you.
Phoebe: (singing, angrily)
Phoebe: Oh, so this is all about money! Yknow its bad enough thatOw! Oh, you have got to be kidding!
Phoebe: Yeah, I think I told it wrong. Y'know, we should talk about that because I don't totally understand what happened there.
Phoebe: (singing)
Phoebe: Yknow what Joey left on my pillow?
Phoebe: Oh thank you.
Phoebe: It starts?
[Scene: Phoebes, Frank and her, are sitting on the counh, watching TV]
Phoebe: Oh, we killed them all.
Phoebe: Hey! Ross!
Ross: Phoebe, you said it was urgent!
Phoebe: No-no, we do it every year!
Phoebe: NothingWhy?!
(Rachel enters with the cat, wearing the oven mitt, and startles Phoebe.)
Phoebe: OH!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!
Ross: Uh, Phoebe