words in movies
[Scene: A Restaurant, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are having brunch.]
Rachel: Oh my God! This is it! (She and Phoebe hold hands.) (To Phoebe) I really hope its you!
Phoebe: I hope its you.
Monica: Well umm, I was thinking that maybe we could come up with a system where we trade of being maid of honor for each other. Like hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine
Phoebe: Yes!!! Oh!!
Phoebe: Still.
Monica: If Phoebe were my maid of honor
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
Phoebe: Yeah, Ill do that. So who gets to be yours?
Phoebe: Wh-why is that the best part?
Phoebe: Aww, and good luck to you too! (To Monica and Rachel) What a nice lady!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is bringing Rachel some coffee.]
Phoebe: Hey Rachel?
Phoebe: Umm, when I get married will you be my maid of honor?
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
Phoebe: Oh! Well, if thats what you want
Rachel: Ohh! No way Phoebe! I want to be Monicas!
Phoebe: But why does it even matter?!
Phoebe: Because this one is now! And-and its two of our best friends! Who knows what youre gonna marry!
Phoebe: (gasps) You wouldnt! Okay look, Rachel I know you really want to do this, but I-Ive never been maid of honor to anyone before! And I know youve done it at least twice!
Rachel: Yeah but Phoebe
Phoebe: And no, oh please, oh please let me finish. (Rachel stops talking.) Oh I guess that was it.
Phoebe: Oh, thank you so much! (They hug.) Okay.
Phoebe: Oh I know.
Rachel: Better than Chandler. (Phoebe exhales as if to say, "Like what isnt?")
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.]
Rachel: Phoebe is gonna be Monicas maid of honor!
Joey: Hey! Well I hope it goes better than the last time you did it for that girl downstairs, remember? (Phoebe glares at him.)
Phoebe: See? This is exactly why you shouldnt lie!
Phoebe: Na-uh, I am!
Phoebe: Because I cared enough to lie!
Phoebe: What are you talking about?
Phoebe: Okay, so after this audition, who decides who gets it?
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Well, its better than us deciding.
Phoebe: No! Coins hate me!
Phoebe: Hey there, you handsome thing. (Rachel and Phoebe exit.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Ugh, what a kiss ass.
Joey: Okay, Phoebe
Phoebe: Yes! Your honor?
Ross: (playing the drunk uncle) When Monica was a little girl, I remember that(Phoebe screams and tackles him)Ooh!! Ow! Very good!
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Hey! Do you want do you want a little taste of Pheebs?!
Ross: Okay Phoebe, I guess youre next (To Joey) although I really dont see the point.
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Phoebe: Really?! I won!
Rachel: No! Yknow what? No! No! You thing was so stupid anyway, this was ridiculousWere gonna flip a coin! (Phoebe gasps.) All right?! (She flips the coin.) Heads! (Looks at the coin and grunts in disgust.)
Phoebe: The coins have finally forgiven me!
Phoebe: (running after her) Rach, its gonna be okay! (To Ross and Joey) You guys are the best!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a shopping bag.]
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Thats ridiculous Rachel, we were all babies once. (Rachel looks at her.) Oh, you mean today.
Phoebe: Oh yeah!
Phoebe: Oh thats so sweet thanks.
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
Phoebe: Ohh.
Phoebe: This stuff is great!
Phoebe: Yknow Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monicas made of honor.
Phoebe: Because I think it means more to you.
Phoebe: Its fine. I mean, this is something that youve been thinking about since you were what, 14? (Shes referring to the Halloween picture.)
Phoebe: (looking at the picture again) Man alive!
Phoebe: Well, we just decided that Rachel is gonna be your maid of honor.
Monica: (gasps) Ohh, wow! Thats great! (Rachel and Monica hug.) Oh wow! We really have to start planning! I have, I have a lot of really specific ideas! We should probably get together like four times per week. You can come over to my place; well get together before work! What do you say, 6:30, my place? Im so excited! (Runs out leaving Rachel completely stunned and Phoebe laughing.)
Rachel: Yeah okay, you laugh now, but shes gonna be yours. (Phoebe gets suddenly scared.)
PHOEBE: (singing/screaming) You're all invited to bite me!
Phoebe: Ok, you guys, I don’t mean to make things worse, but umm, I don’t want to live with Rachel anymore.
PHOEBE: Oh, hi.
PHOEBE: Thank you.
PHOEBE: Really? From who?
PHOEBE: Yeah. Here you go.
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Phoebe: Yeah! Oh, c'mere, Marcel! Oh, Marcel, c'mere!
PHOEBE: Better. Yeah.
PHOEBE: You wanna try it again?
PHOEBE: That's too much. Sorry.
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Chandler's coming and he says he has, like, this incredible news, so when he gets here, we could all act like, you know...
[Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Yeah! I mean, I don't know. I was just , I was looking, I was looking in his eyes and I was just thinking: Oh my God! It's David. David's here. He's just, he's so irresistible.
Phoebe: Ooh! Ooh! And I brought Operation! But, um, I lost the tweezers, so we can't operate. But we can prep the guy!
Phoebe: Maybe you could be my roommate!
PHOEBE: Mmmm hmmm.
Phoebe: But ifno look, okay. These jerks might not care about you, but the universe does! And that says a lot!
Phoebe: Theres a skylight?! (Runs to see and yells from the bedroom.) Wow!!
Phoebe: Okay, Im going to take him back to Wendys.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Joey enters.]
PHOEBE: Ok, do you know A minor?
Phoebe: Yeah, last Saturday. Wow! She was the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic. (Chandler and Monica look puzzled) Oh, wait a minute, I read the wrong one.
Monica: Phoebe, your face is fine! Come on, none of this stuff is going to happen to you! Stop being such a baby!
Phoebe: Because its Arabian princess day at work! Okay?! Leave me alone!
Phoebe: All right, dont freak out! Okay? I-I will help you. How long before you have to leave?
Phoebe: Eeee!!! Eee!! Eee!!
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
Phoebe: A dollar?
Phoebe: Really? So she said, she didnt wanna live with me anymore?
Phoebe: I can say I told you so but shes kinda doing that for me.
Phoebe: Okay, but, well, before you say no, my friend Susanne is entering her kid and compared to Emma she's a real dog!
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh, you so would! Oh, you should get that anyway. (They both look at her.) Like for clubbing.
Phoebe: (sings) I can't believe what I'm hearing here...
Phoebe: Come on. It doesn't taste bad.
Phoebe: Hmm, they just dont make em like that anymore!
Phoebe: Why don't you turn them inside ou...
Phoebe: Ooh, is it someone in this building? Is it that tall guy from the first floor?
Phoebe: All right, Ill see you downstairs then.
Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.
Phoebe: (reading from her book) Mon (Pause as she restarts) Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks theyre supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks its at seven.
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage and everything was fine until... (The flashback shows Paulo lying face down on the massage table and slowly moving his hands up Phoebe's legs and grabbing her butt.)
Phoebe: Well, nobody wants a ghost. But youve got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
Phoebe: Good. It's just so hard, it's hard for me to ... let them go. I guess it just brings back memories, you know, from ... when I gave birth to my brother's triplets and I had to give them up. (Mike is shocked) I haven't told you about that yet, have I?
Phoebe: No, no, he hasn't been around.
Phoebe: Umm Wow, all right. (Checks the book.) Wow! Yay! Ooh, Im gonna meet a guy! And really soon! And hes gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night. (Points at Chandler.)
Phoebe: Look, she only suspects something okay? She doesnt know for sure, so just throw her off the track.
PHOEBE: Hey.
[Phoebe enters.]
GANG: Hey. Hi Phoebe.
PHOEBE: This is my father, this is a picture of my dad.
[Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Yeah, not the one I had my eye on.
PHOEBE: Just, you know, to see... um.
PHOEBE: Oh God.
Phoebe: No, no, no, no, no... It's not... it's not... i'ts not as bad as it looks... really. I was just saying goodbye to an old friend.
PHOEBE: Oh.
PHOEBE: [realizes] Oh.
PHOEBE: Hey.
Phoebe: Oh. Okay, well I-I was kinda hoping that I would just be alone yknow to think about my mom and her suicide.
PHOEBE: Yeah, I just don't buy it.
PHOEBE: Wow, this is it, I'm gonna meet my dad. This is like the biggest thing ever, huh.
Phoebe: Thats it! 25 percent? That means thats its like 75 percent chance of no baby at all!
PHOEBE: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Oh come on, they can be in the same room.
PHOEBE: OK.
PHOEBE: Mailbox.
Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
Phoebe: That man across the street just kicked that pigeon! (Rachel enters.) Oh!
PHOEBE: Yeah?
PHOEBE: You guuuyys.
Phoebe: W-wI justits thatI haveyknow I have-I have an appointment. And its very important.
GANG: Phoebs. [Phoebe leaves]
PHOEBE: Oh! Oh my god. This is so exciting. How much am I gonna get?
PHOEBE: Just from a, from a long time ago. Is he here?
Rachel: Ok. (Phoebe starts to walk in the opposite direction though. Rachel sees and follows her) Wha...? where? Where are you going?
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
[Phoebe and Rachel look uncomfortable.]
Phoebe: No, what's more important, your friends or money?
DUNCAN: I love you Phoebe. [they hug and kiss]
Rachel: Yeah! That's Phoebe. That's Phoebe. You know, she just wants them all! It's like she's a nympho!
Phoebe: Oh no, the dog's not going to be there!
[Scene: The casino bar, Phoebe and Monica are sitting at the bar, while Wayne Newton's signature song Danke Schoen is playing in the background.]
[Phoebe walks up to Rachel, cleaning tables.]
Phoebe: Well, it was an accident...You know, it's a lot of oil and sometimes the hand just slips!
Phoebe: No, no, you can get one yourself. Itll be on the house! Y'know what are big sisters for?
[Phoebe drives up in the cab]
Phoebe: Oh, oh! It's on again!
Phoebe: Ohh. No thats okay, hes a friend.
Phoebe: Ok. We can, um, we can burn the stuff they gave us.
Ross: I dropped him off at Carols. (To Phoebe) Anyway, it turns out that Im not going to be able to get those tickets though.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Monica are all there as Chandler enters wearing glasses.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I know because you have all the good words. What do I get? I get "its," "and" oh I'm sorry, I have "A." Forget it.
Phoebe Sr.: So I guess youd like to know how it all happened.
Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!
Phoebe: Oh! What's the matter? Are you scared? You're afraid I'm a better singer? You're afraid I'm gonna beat you at singing?
[Phoebe, Ross, Rachel, Chandler exchange money again.]
Phoebe: No, no actually, he's smiling.. and... Oh my God, don't do that!!
Monica: (going through her pockets) No... (to Chandler and Phoebe) Either of you girls got a quarter?
Rachel: Come on Phoebe! Dont be such a goodie-goodie!