words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
Phoebe: What am I sitting on?
Phoebe: (taking something out of the couch) Ew-eww!! Undies!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Phoebe: Umm, Wethering Heights. I'm taking a literature class at the New School and I have to finish it for the first session tomorrow.
Phoebe: Yeah! Well, I really liked that Lamaze class I took! Y'know and this time I thought I'd go for something, y'know a little more intellectual, with a less painful final exam.
Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, you should come with me! Oh yeah, then I'd have someone to sit with!
Phoebe: Yeah! Okayooh, but are you going to have time to read it?
Phoebe: This is going to be so much fun! Okay-shhh, I have to finish.
Phoebe: Okay, look you wanna hold onto your food? You gotta scare people off. I learned that living on the street.
Chandler: Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?
Phoebe: Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff. (Writes him a note and the gang reads it.)
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Phoebe: Someday I'll, tell you about the time I stabbed the cop.
Monica: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Well, he stabbed me first!!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Sorry I'm late, but I left late.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: I thought you said you read it in high school.
Phoebe: Okay, umm, it's this tragic love story between Cathy and Heathcliff and umm, it takes place on like these really creepy mores in England. Which I think represents the wildness of Heathcliff's character. I totally get symbolism.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) You completely stole my answer!
Phoebe: Well how would you know?! You didn't even read it!
Phoebe: I think that uh, yours is a question with many answers.
Phoebe: Would you care to venture one?
Phoebe: Are you just repeating what I'm saying?
Phoebe: Okay then.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Phoebe: Yeah but why didn't you just say that you didn't read the book?!
Ross: (entering) Phoebe!
Phoebe: Yeah?
Ross: Phoebe! You're note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's class; Rachel walks in, on time this time.]
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: You didn't read this one either?!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: No! You should've read it yourself!
Rachel: Come on Phoebe! Dont be such a goodie-goodie!
Phoebe: Fine! Okay, all right, so Jane Eyre, first of all, you'd think she's a woman, but she's not. She's a cyborg.
Phoebe: Yeah, this book was light years ahead of its time.
Phoebe: Umm, Rachel and I were just discussing it and she had some very interesting insights.
Rachel: Uh, thank you Phoebe. Umm, well, what struck me most when reading Jane Eyre was uh, how the book was so ahead of its time.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
Phoebe: (smiling) I'm sorry. It was just so funny when you started comparing Jane Eyre to Robocop.
Phoebe: Well, I snapped! Okay? You weren't taking the class seriously.
Rachel: Phoebe, come on! What is the big deal? I thought this was going to be something we could do together! Y'know, I thought it would be fun!
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
(She sits back defeated, and Phoebe groans with disgust.)
Phoebe: All right, wait! Just wait. Everybody just calm down. Okay? Let's give our friend Joey a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert!
Phoebe: What's going on?
Phoebe: So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
Phoebe: I really thought you making a good point. I mean y'know, until you got cut off.
Phoebe: I don't know! I didn't come with her!
Phoebe: Mr. President.
Steve: Oh hi Phoebe.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Ugh, can you believe that guy!
Phoebe: Yeah. I really like his glasses.
Phoebe: You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)
[Cut to the hallway where Phoebe is conferring with Rachel.]
Phoebe: Yeah, I definitely. I dont like the name Ross.
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Butterscotch? No one? All right, you'll be sorry later.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, well see about that. Can I use your phone? I just wanna call everyone I know.
Phoebe: Gosh. Im not gonna let that man make you eat your baby. (They both sit down by the rest of the gang and Phoebe recognizes a man by the window.) Oh. Hey! Who is that guy? I think I know him.
Phoebe: Oh, hi Ross!
Phoebe: I KNOW THAT!!! You have to stop her!! Shes going to ruin the wedding!!
Phoebe: Yeah, uh-huh, a 100 dollars.
Phoebe Sr: No, I was working on my pottery.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, my bad.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: I have quarters! (She holds up a bag of quarters.)
(Ross turns and glares at Phoebe.)
[He closes the door and walks over to get something from the fridge. He starts to smell something and turns around to see Phoebes dollhouse smoking. He runs over and takes off the roof to reveal that the dollhouse fire.]
Phoebe: Well, okay, I made a touchdown. It was my first touchdown. So?
Phoebe: Cool Aunt Phoebe. I am pretty cool!
PHOEBE: Yeah, but he did have to have a bunch of stitches and he said that only once in a blue moon does a dog's ear grow back so...still hoping.
Phoebe: Hey! What are you doing here?
Ross: (tapping her on the shoulder) Phoebe? Phoebe?
Phoebe: Ooh. (Turns to him.)
Phoebe: Oh, okay, see? Things are looking up already!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey's having breakfast; Phoebe enters the room carrying her wedding dress.]
Ross: (trying to get her attention) Phoebe?
Phoebe: Oh, no. Don't you hate it when people aren't there for you?
Phoebe: Im so jealous youre all going! I cant believe I never knew that you cant fly in your third trimester!
Phoebe: So, here we are. Nervous?
Chandler: Hi. (To Phoebe) Okay, youre too late okay? Because shes already with our guy.
Rachel: Phoebe, I bet somebody's missing that badge.
Ross: (to Rachel) Haha! Looks like you're not going to be in the wedding either. (Looks at Phoebe) So sorry Pheebs.
Phoebe: Come, sit. (He's hesitant.) Sit. (Still hesitating.) Sit! (He sits on the arm of the couch.) Umm, all righty, before we get started I justI need you to state for the official record that you are in fact Frank Buffay.
Phoebe: (interrupting) Okay, I got a good one. Okay, umm, what is she? Like 12?
PHOEBE: OK, so what, you're just never gonna see him again?
Phoebe and Rachel: Ohhh!!!
Chandler: Pheebs! (He goes over and kisses Phoebe, who is also stunned.) Always a pleasure. (And he struts out leaving the girls to stare at each other.)
Phoebe: Ross, I know what youre thinking.
Phoebe: That's easy for you to say, I don't see three kids coming out your vagina!
Phoebe: And Tim I just wanna say, good luck here. (Shakes his hand and leaves, which disgusts Monica.)
PHOEBE: Ok, question number 28, have you ever allowed a lighning bearer to take your wind? I would have to say no.
Phoebe: All right, and umm (She grabs the picture and smacks her in the head.)
Phoebe: Ooh, you nailed the Old Lady! (They both laugh at what she said.)
Phoebe: (To Joey) Hey.
Joey: (To Phoebe) Hey! (Sees that Monica's there.) Oh.
Phoebe: Oh, I hate this. Everything's changing.
Monica: (cooking something) Phoebe, you were supposed to take that back!
Phoebe: What?!!
Phoebe: Oof...
Phoebe: I couldn't tell him no. He got so sad. Maybe it'll be all right. I do really like him a lot and probably do it eventually anyway and plus, think of all the money I'll save on stamps.
Phoebe: I-I'm with the umm, the 57th.
Phoebe: Excuse me, is this your car?
Phoebe: I-I sure will, take care. (Starts walking off.)
Phoebe: Yeah, big guy, kinda bald.
Phoebe: (following him) And did you notice the ice? (Gestures to 3 huge buckets of ice on the table.) Look! We have it all! We have crushed! Cubed! And dry! Watch! (Pours some water onto the dry ice, causing it to evaporate/smoke.) Ahhh! Mystical!
Phoebe: Yeah, so, he had a really funny hatI don't want to talk about it.
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong you guys! Phoebes our friend! Well, Im not gonna watch it!
(There is a knock on Rachel and Phoebes door.)
Phoebe: All righty. Ill be back in-in a little bit. Unless you wanna come with me?
Joey: (hangs up the phone) Wow! Well, my folks really liked it! So what-what did you guys think? (Phoebe smiles, walks up to him, and presses her breasts against him.) It wasnt that good.
Phoebe: No! (Rosss phone rings.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is watching a Spanish version of The Waltons. At a nearby table sit Monica knitting, Rachel winding a ball of wool, and Chandler supplying them both from a skein which is spread between his hands.]
Phoebe: Oh. No. No. Good! Yeah, me neither.
Rachel: Phoebe? (She turns her head further away.) I'm sorry about the whole lifting out thing. (Moves over next to her.) You gotta come with me!
Phoebe and Joey: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Umm, well, umm Grandma died.
Phoebe: Me?!
Phoebe: Gary.
Phoebe: I've always wanted to live with a guy. "Pick up your socks!" "Put down the toilet seat!" "No! We're not having sex anymore!" It's gonna be fun!
(Phoebe puts the picture of Ross up to her face.)
Phoebe: Umm, yeah, I'd like to go out with you officer
Phoebe: I know but I'm having so much fun doing good deeds.
Phoebe: All right, I can't wait!
Phoebe: Yeah, we'll talk at dinner.
(There's a knock on the door which is answered by Phoebe.)
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
Phoebe: Yeah, but, y'know, it's... it would be like starting on the fifteenth date.
Phoebe: You wanna work on your interview skills?
Ross: How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
Phoebe: If you wouldve let me finish, it goes on to say that hes probably not gay.
Phoebe: Okay, she would love that! Y'know, 'cause you know all the clean places to eat.
Phoebe: Ohh, impressive.
PHOEBE: Oh my God!� I love things.� What happened?
Phoebe: No, but it is fast. Isn't it?
Phoebe: Oh God!
Phoebe: All right, you go. (They kiss.)
Phoebe: Okay, then maybe I can come too!
Phoebe: 'Kay, bye!
Phoebe: Come on, seriously! When did it end?
Alice: Hi! (She runs over and hugs Phoebes stomach.) So, how did it go at the doctors?
Phoebe: No he wont. And thats not even the point! Monica, I made a whole speech about you do not cancel plans with friends! And now yknow what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life comes back from Russia just for one night, I-I should change my beliefs?! I should change beliefs! No! No! No, if I dont have my principles, I dont have anything!
MONICA: What? [she runs over to where Phoebe is, Phoebe signals for Gunther to go] I don't see anything.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Phoebe are still working on his interviewing techniques.]
Phoebe: Well, his name is Parker and I met him at the drycleaners.
PHOEBE: Ok, I talked to the vet, people are so nice upstate. Anyway, he said that the little fella's gonna be ok and I can pick him up tomorrow.
PHOEBE: Ok. Listen, just don't say anything about me, ok. [goes over and grabs the phone that's sitting by Monica]
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: So Chandler, I-I'd love to come by tonight.