words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
Phoebe: What am I sitting on?
Phoebe: (taking something out of the couch) Ew-eww!! Undies!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Phoebe: Umm, Wethering Heights. I'm taking a literature class at the New School and I have to finish it for the first session tomorrow.
Phoebe: Yeah! Well, I really liked that Lamaze class I took! Y'know and this time I thought I'd go for something, y'know a little more intellectual, with a less painful final exam.
Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, you should come with me! Oh yeah, then I'd have someone to sit with!
Phoebe: Yeah! Okayooh, but are you going to have time to read it?
Phoebe: This is going to be so much fun! Okay-shhh, I have to finish.
Phoebe: Okay, look you wanna hold onto your food? You gotta scare people off. I learned that living on the street.
Chandler: Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?
Phoebe: Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff. (Writes him a note and the gang reads it.)
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Phoebe: Someday I'll, tell you about the time I stabbed the cop.
Monica: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Well, he stabbed me first!!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Sorry I'm late, but I left late.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: I thought you said you read it in high school.
Phoebe: Okay, umm, it's this tragic love story between Cathy and Heathcliff and umm, it takes place on like these really creepy mores in England. Which I think represents the wildness of Heathcliff's character. I totally get symbolism.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) You completely stole my answer!
Phoebe: Well how would you know?! You didn't even read it!
Phoebe: I think that uh, yours is a question with many answers.
Phoebe: Would you care to venture one?
Phoebe: Are you just repeating what I'm saying?
Phoebe: Okay then.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Phoebe: Yeah but why didn't you just say that you didn't read the book?!
Ross: (entering) Phoebe!
Phoebe: Yeah?
Ross: Phoebe! You're note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's class; Rachel walks in, on time this time.]
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: You didn't read this one either?!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: No! You should've read it yourself!
Rachel: Come on Phoebe! Dont be such a goodie-goodie!
Phoebe: Fine! Okay, all right, so Jane Eyre, first of all, you'd think she's a woman, but she's not. She's a cyborg.
Phoebe: Yeah, this book was light years ahead of its time.
Phoebe: Umm, Rachel and I were just discussing it and she had some very interesting insights.
Rachel: Uh, thank you Phoebe. Umm, well, what struck me most when reading Jane Eyre was uh, how the book was so ahead of its time.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
Phoebe: (smiling) I'm sorry. It was just so funny when you started comparing Jane Eyre to Robocop.
Phoebe: Well, I snapped! Okay? You weren't taking the class seriously.
Rachel: Phoebe, come on! What is the big deal? I thought this was going to be something we could do together! Y'know, I thought it would be fun!
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
(She sits back defeated, and Phoebe groans with disgust.)
Phoebe: All right, wait! Just wait. Everybody just calm down. Okay? Let's give our friend Joey a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert!
Phoebe: What's going on?
Phoebe: So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
Phoebe: I really thought you making a good point. I mean y'know, until you got cut off.
Phoebe: I don't know! I didn't come with her!
Phoebe: I see. Nice sidestep on the do do thing by the way.
Phoebe: Hes miserable! What happened to him?
Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither".
Phoebe: Um you, you got a minute?
Rachel: Here you go. (Hands Emma to Phoebe)
Phoebe: I don't know. I'll just handle itI'll ask you to talk to him!
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: I call their apartment!!!
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
MONICA: [Chandler tries to come back with a smart-ass remark but can't swallow the muffin.] Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.
Phoebe: Look at you all grown up.
PHOEBE: Well, come on, who cares what that guy thinks. What does Warren Beatty know about kissing (Chandler and Monica, give her a look that says 'think about it') Ooh.
Phoebe: Done. Oh good, really?
Phoebe: That was the best part? (To Chandler) Good honeymooning tiger.
Phoebe: Wh.. what? No wait, you don't get to leave! I've got a massage client waiting outside my door any minute!
Phoebe: (Enters) Hey!
Phoebe: All right. (Gets up and walks out.)
Joey: Ohh! (Realises it was all a trick to get Phoebe to name the baby Chandler.)
Phoebe: Wow, you guys go way back then. So what are you up to these days?
Phoebe: Wow, that's great! I liked that better than the law thing, so...
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Do you not know each other?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with her boyfriend Roger, talking to Rachel and Monica.]
Mike: Phoebe writes lots of great songs. Wha... What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved?
Phoebe: Sure.
Phoebe: Why did you go along with that?
Phoebe: I am shocked! Shocked!! (She storms off leaving Ross to defend himself from the angry looks from onlookers.)
Phoebe: Bye Chandler.
Monica: Ross! That is so sweet of you to get Phoebe that bike! When I heard the story, I almost cried.
[Scene: Ross is in Central Perk. Phoebe comes in.]
Phoebe: Oh my god you're right.
Phoebe: Ooh! So now why can't we tell Chandler?
Phoebe: I wanna get married (grabs a tissue)
Phoebe: I know, I just want to bite his bottom lip. (Rachel looks at her) But I won't.
Phoebe: (goes to cry) No
Mike: Phoebe (comes in smiling then sees Phoebe crying) what's wrong?
Joey: Hey! Great, youre home! Guess what Phoebe got me for Christmas! (Starts drumming.)
Mike: what's up is Phoebe ok?
[Scene: Ross goes to see Mike to explain about Phoebe.]
Phoebe: I beg to differ (shows him her cup of coffee and her plate of cookies).
Phoebe: Uhuh.
Phoebe: I know. Hand me a tissue. (Monica hands her one.)
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. (Phoebe and Ross glare at him astonished) I mean synchronized swimming. (they continue to glare) I mean- I mean the balance beam. (to Ross) Help me!
Phoebe: WHAT! WHY?
Phoebe: WHAT!
Phoebe: It's open.
Phoebe: ok
Phoebe: Oh, the Olympics.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is getting ready to go to Joeys premiere and Phoebe is still on hold.]
Phoebe: Its negative.
[Scene: Phoebe is sitting with Mike, explaining about Vicrum.]
Phoebe: No! No, that you and Rachel are engaged!
Amanda: (In a fake British accent) It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! (gives her coat to Monica as well) Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs (at which point she grabs both Phoebe and Monica's hands and places them both on her stomach) I don't exercise at all! (she pulls them down to sit.) Oh gosh, so Monica, you're married!
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: ok I can't do this.
Phoebe: Yeah! (Motions to her face, indicating all of Rachel's "make-up.")
Joey: Ugly Naked Guy looks awfully still. (Phoebe runs to the window and gasps.)
Phoebe: so you don't think I'm a total freak
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Monica) You guys, what, what do we do about Ross who drove all the way up here? What do we do? Just like send him back and were then gonna go skiing?
PHOEBE: [pauses the tape] Ok, Ben, this is the part where Ernie buries Bert in the sand and can't find him. Now, I've looked ahead on the tape and he does find him again. But, ok, before that happens, there's some pretty rough goin' for a while but I think we can handle it. And, there's just the alphabet but we know that ends well so. Ok, here we go. [starts the tape again]
Phoebe: So?
Phoebe: Roll playing You could be the warden; she could be the prisoner. You could be the pirate; she could be the wench!
Phoebe: Oh, Rachel!
Phoebe: Oh, yay!
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im sorry to bother you. Bye-bye. (Hangs up the phone.) Yeah youre right, this is easy.
Phoebe: Are you kidding? The woman has the nose of a bloodhound � and the breasts of a Greek goddess.
Phoebe: You smoked!
Phoebe: (embarrassed) I�m gonna go. (leaves to stairs)
Phoebe: Where is everyone? They�re forty minutes late.
Phoebe: One really does have a stick up one�s ass. Doesn�t one?
Phoebe: Rachel, its okay. You dont have to do this. I believe you. All right? Okay, if-if you say that you kissed Melissa, then you kissed Melissa.
Joey: Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute?
Phoebe: Why?! You two are so meant to be together, everybody thinks so.
Phoebe & Joey: Hey.
[Scene: The Coma Guy's Room, Monica bursts in, closely followed by Phoebe. There is no sign of Coma Guy. His bed is empty.]
[Scene: The restaurant with still just Phoebe and Joey.]
Phoebe: She cancelled! My namesake cancelled on me!
Phoebe: He-hee!
Phoebe: Both it is, thank you.
(Monica goes into the bathroom and Phoebe and Rachel breathe a sigh of relief.)
Phoebe: Aw � what?
Phoebe: �s a good toast.
Phoebe: well, this is, this is, this is not over! (on phone) Hello?
Phoebe: (returns) Okay, that was Mike.
Ross: What? (Motions for Phoebe to go outside with him.) Oh my God! She-she thinks were engaged! Why? Why? Why would she think were engaged?!
Phoebe: Thats nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are on the couch, holding hands, while Phoebe puts milk in her coffee.]
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Phoebes cell phone rings and she goes through her little routine of lighting a cigarette before answering the phone.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Monica are sitting on the couch and Phoebe is getting coffee as Chandler enters. Ross is also there.]
Phoebe: I'm sorry... I'm sorry. It's obviously way too early for us to be... having that conversation.
Phoebe: Oh no, I want to.
Phoebe: It really is.
Phoebe: Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. (Both Phoebe and Mike look really proud.)
Phoebe: (impatient) I know Mike, why don't you keep digging?
Phoebe: (in a flash she answers) Maybe not, is it?
Phoebe: There's your movie! <claps>
Phoebe: Who cares, it got you here.
Phoebe: Ah, Catwoman. So we meet again.
Phoebe: Oh, great! We couldnt keep our eyes off each other all night and then every once and a while yknow, hed kinda lean over and stroke my hair and touch my neck. (Does that to Monica.)