words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
Phoebe: What am I sitting on?
Phoebe: (taking something out of the couch) Ew-eww!! Undies!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Phoebe: Umm, Wethering Heights. I'm taking a literature class at the New School and I have to finish it for the first session tomorrow.
Phoebe: Yeah! Well, I really liked that Lamaze class I took! Y'know and this time I thought I'd go for something, y'know a little more intellectual, with a less painful final exam.
Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, you should come with me! Oh yeah, then I'd have someone to sit with!
Phoebe: Yeah! Okayooh, but are you going to have time to read it?
Phoebe: This is going to be so much fun! Okay-shhh, I have to finish.
Phoebe: Okay, look you wanna hold onto your food? You gotta scare people off. I learned that living on the street.
Chandler: Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?
Phoebe: Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff. (Writes him a note and the gang reads it.)
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Phoebe: Someday I'll, tell you about the time I stabbed the cop.
Monica: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Well, he stabbed me first!!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Sorry I'm late, but I left late.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: I thought you said you read it in high school.
Phoebe: Okay, umm, it's this tragic love story between Cathy and Heathcliff and umm, it takes place on like these really creepy mores in England. Which I think represents the wildness of Heathcliff's character. I totally get symbolism.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) You completely stole my answer!
Phoebe: Well how would you know?! You didn't even read it!
Phoebe: I think that uh, yours is a question with many answers.
Phoebe: Would you care to venture one?
Phoebe: Are you just repeating what I'm saying?
Phoebe: Okay then.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Phoebe: Yeah but why didn't you just say that you didn't read the book?!
Ross: (entering) Phoebe!
Phoebe: Yeah?
Ross: Phoebe! You're note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's class; Rachel walks in, on time this time.]
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: You didn't read this one either?!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: No! You should've read it yourself!
Rachel: Come on Phoebe! Dont be such a goodie-goodie!
Phoebe: Fine! Okay, all right, so Jane Eyre, first of all, you'd think she's a woman, but she's not. She's a cyborg.
Phoebe: Yeah, this book was light years ahead of its time.
Phoebe: Umm, Rachel and I were just discussing it and she had some very interesting insights.
Rachel: Uh, thank you Phoebe. Umm, well, what struck me most when reading Jane Eyre was uh, how the book was so ahead of its time.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
Phoebe: (smiling) I'm sorry. It was just so funny when you started comparing Jane Eyre to Robocop.
Phoebe: Well, I snapped! Okay? You weren't taking the class seriously.
Rachel: Phoebe, come on! What is the big deal? I thought this was going to be something we could do together! Y'know, I thought it would be fun!
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
(She sits back defeated, and Phoebe groans with disgust.)
Phoebe: All right, wait! Just wait. Everybody just calm down. Okay? Let's give our friend Joey a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert!
Phoebe: What's going on?
Phoebe: So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
Phoebe: I really thought you making a good point. I mean y'know, until you got cut off.
Phoebe: I don't know! I didn't come with her!
Phoebe: Why? Why would you wanna... do that? Why?
[Scene: Monica's apartment. The stripper is sitting at the kitchen table. Monica, Rachel and Phoebe are standing around him]
Phoebe: Rachel Green? (angrily) Son of a bitch, she came back?
Phoebe: Yeah Im fine.
Phoebe: (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) Thats why I moved out.
Phoebe: Well okay, let this be a lesson to all of you, all right. Once you, once you betray me, I become like the ice woman, yknow. Very cold, hard, unyielding, y'know nothing, nothing can penetrate this icy exterior. (to Monica) Can I have a tissue, please?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
Phoebe: Wow. So, okay, maybe that means that, youre not over Ross yet and you have issues with your father.
Phoebe: Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.
Phoebe: Yeah?
Phoebe: Much as you are.
Phoebe: Be cool! (They both pretend to have a nice conversation as the guard walks by, but after he leaves they both start fighting again.) Okay lady, your lurking days are over!
(Phoebe turns away so that the two weird women wont see the face she pulls, and sits down.)
Phoebe: Good choice.
(Phoebe uses the remote to stop the Spanish by turning off the television.)
[Scene: The Lobby, Ross is eating a sandwich as Phoebe rushes up to him.]
Joey: Hey, Phoebe, I asked you, and you said it was okay.
Phoebe: Okay.
PHOEBE: Yeah, yeah, no it's OK 'cause, I mean, I know he's there, so, that's enough for now.
[Scene: Phoebe's Apartment, Monica is lying on the massage table waiting for Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Well umm, okay we were in the market and she bent down to get some yogurt and she just never came back up again.
Mike: I'm gonna go. (He kisses Phoebe on the cheek)
Phoebe: Aww, and good luck to you too! (To Monica and Rachel) What a nice lady!
Phoebe: You are just like Jack.
Phoebe: See, there you go, the cleansing works!
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, they are taking Phoebe to the hospital but Chandler and Monica hold back.]
Phoebe: Okay, remember that little problem I was having during my fourth month of pregnancy?
Phoebe: Wherere you going?
Phoebe: With?
Phoebe: I know! I guess I am! Oh my god! Load up the Volvo I want to be a soccer mom!
Phoebe: Okay.
Mike: Phoebe you're so beautiful. You're so kind, you're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure, and I can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with you forever. (He puts the ring on Phoebe's finger.)
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Phoebe: Yeah. Okay.
Phoebe: Okay... Okay.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, oh.
[Scene: Ursula's apartment, Phoebe is about to break the bad news to her sister. She knocks on the door.]
Phoebe: Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.
Phoebe: Well, maybe 25-26.
Monica: Wow! That Mike thing was interesting! I don't know what's gonna happen with Phoebe and David.
JOEY: Phoebe here with the cab yet?
Phoebe: Ooh! Bath salts would be nice.
Phoebe: There you go.
Phoebe: Oh, Joey! Oh, okay, see I didn't recognize you wearing, in those....pants.
[Scene: Chandler's office, he and Phoebe are there when the phone starts ringing.]
Phoebe: You guys, there are people in there who are not getting any happier!
Phoebe: Wait here. Breathe.
Phoebe: I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now, so...
Phoebe: Oh, no, I meant that its weird that you only have nine now.
Phoebe: Ohhh... Sure, yeah... (disgustedly dropping the cardigan back into the bag) ..okay, it fits.
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt understand that, but yknow, maybe thats cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
Phoebe: Umm, hey Rach, can I ask you something?
Phoebe: Thank you! God, no! You should see me when... Oh actually, no, I look pretty good.
Chandler: And your friend Phoebe?
Phoebe: Will he know what this is in reference to? (Listens) And he has your number? (Listens) All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye bye.
Phoebe: Sure! Tout le plaisir est pour moi, mon ami.
Phoebe: Oh, the Angelica!! Go! Go! (She bangs on the cabs roof and it pulls away.) (To Ross) You didnt get the annulment?!!
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Phoebe: Hey, what's going on?
Phoebe and Rachel: Allisons birthday party.
Phoebe: I have liver damage. Ow! Oh! (She grabs the left side of her torso.)
Phoebe: I mean, I know Joey is not my boyfriend, or my thermos, or anything, but...
Phoebe: Oh, is this the bug lady?
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
Phoebe: Ross says hi.
Rachel: HuhWait so Joey if you get this, youre gonna be like the star of your own TV show! I mean youll be like the Big Cheese! (To Phoebe) Or the Big MacHey! You love those!
Phoebe: This is so fun. All right, what do we do now?
Phoebe: I brought you alphabet soup.
Phoebe: Shes just so cute! I just wanna bite her ear off and use it and a sucking candy.
Phoebe: Trouble?
Phoebe: Ross, youre tired. Youve been looking all night. And clearly you suck at this.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about trying to give Joey some money.]
Phoebe: Hey.
Phoebe: So.
Phoebe: All right. Bye bye.
Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.
Phoebe: Right, like the kind you...
Phoebe: Does he know?
Phoebe: You got me.
Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (turning to Chandler) Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now?
Phoebe: I can't believe you did this.
PHOEBE: Can you believe this. In, like, two hours I'm gonna have a dad. Eeeshk.
Phoebe: No, Joey.
Phoebe: Ooh! A Salami Buddy!
Phoebe: So, um, are you gonna call him?
Phoebe: So... What's the deal with umm, you and Joey?
Phoebe: Yeah, you too.
Phoebe: No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's... It's a city of Gunthers!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are there]
Phoebe: See? And you don't care if people are staring, it's just for a second cause then you're gone!
Phoebe: Oh look! That guy's peeing!
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
(Phoebe walks by, ignoring the two strangers.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Listen, um...
(Phoebe is almost thrown by this.)
Phoebe: Oh no! No! I know how to handle it.
Phoebe: Really?
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)