words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
Phoebe: What am I sitting on?
Phoebe: (taking something out of the couch) Ew-eww!! Undies!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Phoebe: Umm, Wethering Heights. I'm taking a literature class at the New School and I have to finish it for the first session tomorrow.
Phoebe: Yeah! Well, I really liked that Lamaze class I took! Y'know and this time I thought I'd go for something, y'know a little more intellectual, with a less painful final exam.
Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, you should come with me! Oh yeah, then I'd have someone to sit with!
Phoebe: Yeah! Okayooh, but are you going to have time to read it?
Phoebe: This is going to be so much fun! Okay-shhh, I have to finish.
Phoebe: Okay, look you wanna hold onto your food? You gotta scare people off. I learned that living on the street.
Chandler: Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?
Phoebe: Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff. (Writes him a note and the gang reads it.)
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Phoebe: Someday I'll, tell you about the time I stabbed the cop.
Monica: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Well, he stabbed me first!!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Sorry I'm late, but I left late.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: I thought you said you read it in high school.
Phoebe: Okay, umm, it's this tragic love story between Cathy and Heathcliff and umm, it takes place on like these really creepy mores in England. Which I think represents the wildness of Heathcliff's character. I totally get symbolism.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) You completely stole my answer!
Phoebe: Well how would you know?! You didn't even read it!
Phoebe: I think that uh, yours is a question with many answers.
Phoebe: Would you care to venture one?
Phoebe: Are you just repeating what I'm saying?
Phoebe: Okay then.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Phoebe: Yeah but why didn't you just say that you didn't read the book?!
Ross: (entering) Phoebe!
Phoebe: Yeah?
Ross: Phoebe! You're note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's class; Rachel walks in, on time this time.]
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: You didn't read this one either?!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: No! You should've read it yourself!
Rachel: Come on Phoebe! Dont be such a goodie-goodie!
Phoebe: Fine! Okay, all right, so Jane Eyre, first of all, you'd think she's a woman, but she's not. She's a cyborg.
Phoebe: Yeah, this book was light years ahead of its time.
Phoebe: Umm, Rachel and I were just discussing it and she had some very interesting insights.
Rachel: Uh, thank you Phoebe. Umm, well, what struck me most when reading Jane Eyre was uh, how the book was so ahead of its time.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
Phoebe: (smiling) I'm sorry. It was just so funny when you started comparing Jane Eyre to Robocop.
Phoebe: Well, I snapped! Okay? You weren't taking the class seriously.
Rachel: Phoebe, come on! What is the big deal? I thought this was going to be something we could do together! Y'know, I thought it would be fun!
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
(She sits back defeated, and Phoebe groans with disgust.)
Phoebe: All right, wait! Just wait. Everybody just calm down. Okay? Let's give our friend Joey a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert!
Phoebe: What's going on?
Phoebe: So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
Phoebe: I really thought you making a good point. I mean y'know, until you got cut off.
Phoebe: I don't know! I didn't come with her!
(Joey gives Phoebe a thumbs up. Phoebe walks out)
Phoebe: Alright, so, can we turn this off? Can we just make it... make them go away? Because I cant, I cant watch.
Phoebe: Yes! I do! All the time! I love them! Oh my God! I did it! Its me! Its me! I burned down the house! I burned down the house!
Dr. Green: (laughs) Poppy. (To Phoebe) Oh, Im gonna be a poppy. (Stops laughing) So when is the wedding?
Phoebe: Of course I do! And Im gonna give it back to you as soon as theyre done with it at the key shining place.
PHOEBE: Yes, hi, Mr. Adelman. Thanks for meeting me.
[Scene: The Vending Machines, Phoebe is buying a soda and Joey is shaking the candy machine.]
Phoebe: And you know, I have a massage client soon.
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
Phoebe: It’s for our wedding day! Right, now, is this guy gay or straight, because one of us gonna have to start flirting.
Phoebe: (on machine) "Hi, it's me, I'm coming over now. Hey, what if I'm already there when your playing this message?" (to the guys) Is that too spooky?
Phoebe: I do! I do! I do! (Chases her into the hall, but Rachel doesnt stop.) I do! (Gives up.) Ugh, like I can really chase you. Im carrying a litter.
PHOEBE: No. You are the boss of you. Now you march your heinie in there and get that heart tattooed on your hip. GO!!
Phoebe: Oh, Ill get it. (She gets up and grabs a spoon.)
(Monica and Chandler's room. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler have their ears pressed against the wall, and Joey looks at them)
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
Phoebe: Good! Great! You can go first.
Phoebe: �kay, see you there. Happy humping! (outside meeting Chandler.) Hey�hey! Oh, wow, somebody smoked out here? Oh my god, don�t people know, you�re not allowed to smoke in public spaces?
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is still trying to talk Earl out of suicide.]
Joey: Hey, dont start judging me! (To Rachel) Huh? Youre the one whos in love with her assistant! (To Phoebe) Huh? And you, youre the one having the affair with the guy who keeps the pigeons on the roof!
Phoebe: He could be in disguise, yknow.
Monica: Okay fine! I keep betting Phoebe that youre gonna have the baby and I dont want to lose again!
Phoebe: (looking around) Whos cell phone is that? Its just so annoying; everywhere you go.
Phoebe: But Mon, you have to get our money!
Phoebe: No thanks, Ive already seen one.
PHOEBE: I hate this. 'Cause I tell you, I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us, and almost everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this.
Phoebe: Well, not much has changed in the last five minutes.
Phoebe: Yeah, I wanted to call and tell you that there's no hard feelings for firing me.
Phoebe: Another lie. You have a sickness!
Monica: No! Joey and Ross dont know anything and Chandler still thinks that Phoebes pregnant.
Phoebe: (smiles) Okay! (Goes to answer the phone.)
Phoebe: I, I have to go before I put your head through a wall. (she leaves)
PHOEBE: [sees Marcel at the window] Oh my God.
Phoebe: Oh no! Wait! Wait! Okay, yknow what, you were right, you were right. We really werent great at being guys, but you know why? Because were girls.
Phoebe: All right, I guess I'll have to find a new bridesmaid.
Phoebe: (sighs) Honey, I wish you would get over her. I hate seeing you like this. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you want to look down my top?
Phoebe: Ok, so... 1800 minus twelve is... one thousand, seven hundred and...
Phoebe: But somehow you came off as the bad guy.
Phoebe: Hes just such a great guy Im so excited about him.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are talking. Joey and Phoebe are getting coffee.]
Phoebe: Hey Leslie, howd you know Id be here?
Phoebe: Well, I can't give you a massage, because my licence has been revoked again!
Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Phoebe: Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, "Thats not how your dad used to do it."
Phoebe: There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and its positive. Monicas pregnant. (Rachel covers her mouth.) So I guess she wont be totally alone.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, but I dont think that means anything.
PHOEBE: It's not a blue screen... it's just, maybe it was just really clear that day. OK, I have to talk to my grandmother. [turns to leave]
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
[Scene: In Phoebes Grandmothers cab, driving up to the cabin. Phoebes driving, Rachels sitting shotgun, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are in the back seat.]
Phoebe: 500 bucks at a flea market?!
Phoebe: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
Phoebe: (gasps) You wouldnt! Okay look, Rachel I know you really want to do this, but I-Ive never been maid of honor to anyone before! And I know youve done it at least twice!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is performing Smelly Cat.]
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Okay, baseball. Rick, playing baseball. Okay, slides into second, maybe even his pants come down a little Oh nowait no, no! No! Okay, all right, sandwiches, sandwiches. Umm, okay, on a plate, maybe Ricks pants come down a little. No! No! Okay, Chandler! Okay Chandler, ooh, thats working.
Phoebe: For 99 cents, I'd eat you. (Sees the casino) Okay, I can totally settle down here. It's got everything I could ever want, including Joey! Look! (Points to Joey in his gladiator suit posing for a picture with two old ladies.) Oh! Look! Hi!
Phoebe: Um-hmm, yeah. They left me a message; they should be here any minute.
Monica: Phoebe, do you think that your favorite animal says much about you?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Phoebe just let David in who brought a bottle of wine.]
Ross: Yes!! Yes!!! (He starts clapping and Phoebe turns around to look at him and falls off the bike.)
Rachel: Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you!
Monica: We are not friends with Phoebe anymore.
Phoebe: So, so far is this trip to Vegas better or worse than the trip to London?
JOEY: Yeah, someplace nice. (to Phoebe and Rachel) How much do you think I can get for my kidney? (at Central Perk)
(Phoebe turns on some music and grabs some oil.)
Phoebe: (interrupts him) No, no, we don't really have time for this right now. Okay, we have to keep Chandler away from my bedroom.
Phoebe: Well, this is none of my business. (starts to walk away)
Phoebe: Ugly Naked Guy's taking his turkey out of the oven. Oh my god. He's not alone. Ugly Naked Guy's having Thanksgiving dinner with Ugly Naked Gal.
(Over the sound of Phoebe singing we hear two scientists, Max and David, having a noisy discussion)
Phoebe: (doing Clunkers) Please don't leave me, I'll be lonely.
Phoebe: Okay, this kind of back talk is not gonna fly when were married!
Phoebe: I dont know. I dont know. I cant lie to him again. Oh no Ino! Im just gonna press my breasts up against him.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebes, three years earlier, Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are there]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is showing off more of her drum skills to Joey by rubbing one of the sticks back and forth across the drum.]
Phoebe: (after a pause) Unless... Maybe it's too crazy about this... Alright so... you know, there is no future... but that doesn't mean we still can't have fun. You know what? Forget what I said.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah! Back then yknow, we called the Great War. It really was!
Phoebe Sr: Well, yeah, mostly nudes. It combines my two passions, pottery and erotica.
Monica: (to Phoebe) I swear I've seen birds do this on Wild Kingdom.
Phoebe: I think he's right. You guys hang out at the coffeehouse way too much.
Monica: Excuse us! (then to Phoebe) Alright here's a question: Who was so worried about her restaurant being fancy that she made a big deal about her friend playing her music and feels really bad about it now? (raises her hand)
Phoebe: Oh, just as well, I broke this one.
Phoebe: (entering carrying a skull) Hey!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on couch and Rachel is getting some coffee. Phoebe keeps turning her head from to keep from looking at Rachel.]
Phoebe: Ooh yeah! Then umm, what goes on top of the salami?
Phoebe: Mhuh, guys, that means the world to me. Huh, nkay, I�m gonna take off.
Phoebe: Well, just you know, for argument's sake, you know, hypothetically. Which one would you be willing to give up?
Phoebe: Duly noted.
Phoebe: That wasnt a date! That was, that was just friends getting together (quietly) having sex.
PHOEBE: Oh, ok, murder, cancer, soccer teams eating each other in the Andes.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is getting Phoebe some coffee.]
Phoebe: I know. I know. I know. I know, and if you try to make it more you might wreck it.
Phoebe: Oh, its Ross on one of his drives!
Monica: Phoebe, don't worry about it. I'm sure she wants to live with you.
Phoebe: Sure! (When Monica gets close to the door.) (Yelling) Yeah! Las Vegas, number one!
Phoebe: I thought Id try to take a walk. Would you pour me some water? Ill be back soon.
Phoebe: (finding something interesting in the trash can) Oh my God!
Phoebe: I had a great time. (accent) It was really top drawer. And here's something rich: thirteen bathrooms in this place... I threw up in the coat closet... Ta taaa...
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
Phoebe: You guys wanna try and catch a late movie or something?
Phoebe: Yeah, you never heard of them?