words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
Phoebe: What am I sitting on?
Phoebe: (taking something out of the couch) Ew-eww!! Undies!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Phoebe: Umm, Wethering Heights. I'm taking a literature class at the New School and I have to finish it for the first session tomorrow.
Phoebe: Yeah! Well, I really liked that Lamaze class I took! Y'know and this time I thought I'd go for something, y'know a little more intellectual, with a less painful final exam.
Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, you should come with me! Oh yeah, then I'd have someone to sit with!
Phoebe: Yeah! Okayooh, but are you going to have time to read it?
Phoebe: This is going to be so much fun! Okay-shhh, I have to finish.
Phoebe: Okay, look you wanna hold onto your food? You gotta scare people off. I learned that living on the street.
Chandler: Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?
Phoebe: Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff. (Writes him a note and the gang reads it.)
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Phoebe: Someday I'll, tell you about the time I stabbed the cop.
Monica: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Well, he stabbed me first!!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Sorry I'm late, but I left late.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: I thought you said you read it in high school.
Phoebe: Okay, umm, it's this tragic love story between Cathy and Heathcliff and umm, it takes place on like these really creepy mores in England. Which I think represents the wildness of Heathcliff's character. I totally get symbolism.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) You completely stole my answer!
Phoebe: Well how would you know?! You didn't even read it!
Phoebe: I think that uh, yours is a question with many answers.
Phoebe: Would you care to venture one?
Phoebe: Are you just repeating what I'm saying?
Phoebe: Okay then.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Phoebe: Yeah but why didn't you just say that you didn't read the book?!
Ross: (entering) Phoebe!
Phoebe: Yeah?
Ross: Phoebe! You're note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's class; Rachel walks in, on time this time.]
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: You didn't read this one either?!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: No! You should've read it yourself!
Rachel: Come on Phoebe! Dont be such a goodie-goodie!
Phoebe: Fine! Okay, all right, so Jane Eyre, first of all, you'd think she's a woman, but she's not. She's a cyborg.
Phoebe: Yeah, this book was light years ahead of its time.
Phoebe: Umm, Rachel and I were just discussing it and she had some very interesting insights.
Rachel: Uh, thank you Phoebe. Umm, well, what struck me most when reading Jane Eyre was uh, how the book was so ahead of its time.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
Phoebe: (smiling) I'm sorry. It was just so funny when you started comparing Jane Eyre to Robocop.
Phoebe: Well, I snapped! Okay? You weren't taking the class seriously.
Rachel: Phoebe, come on! What is the big deal? I thought this was going to be something we could do together! Y'know, I thought it would be fun!
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
(She sits back defeated, and Phoebe groans with disgust.)
Phoebe: All right, wait! Just wait. Everybody just calm down. Okay? Let's give our friend Joey a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert!
Phoebe: What's going on?
Phoebe: So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
Phoebe: I really thought you making a good point. I mean y'know, until you got cut off.
Phoebe: I don't know! I didn't come with her!
Phoebe: That's not very enlightened!
Phoebe: Well, I think you should wait.
Phoebe: Uhuh, uhuh... (seems distracted)
Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped!
Phoebe: Yknow, this is probably none of my business, but werent you guys supposed to not be seen in public together?
Phoebe: Mike Hannigan... will you marry me? (Mike looks bewildered)
Phoebe: Hey, hey! (shouting) Boo us? Boo you!
Phoebe: Right! Never! Never! I swear! (They kiss... The door opens and David comes in again.)
(Chandler hands Phoebe an envelope, and some more to Monica)
Phoebe: Oh, god. So adorable. Look at them sleeping there like angels.
[Scene: Mike and Phoebe at a restaurant.]
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: No problem! Next week: stealing... (Chandler walks away to store the box of broken china.)
Mike: Phoebe, I...
(Phoebe has this weird, anxious, nervous look on her face)
Phoebe: It's in the cake, isn't it?
Phoebe: Yes!
Phoebe: Uh-huh! (and now Mike kneels properly)
Phoebe: I love you more!
(They kiss again, and Phoebe looks at the ring.)
Phoebe: (she enters) Hey...
Phoebe: It's so obvious, why doesn't he just ask?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there]
Phoebe: Thank you! (to Rachel) Oh, and I have something for you!
Phoebe: No. I'm sorry. It's just 'cause I couldn't be there. 'Cause all I ever get to do now is pregnant stuff, it just bums me out.
Phoebe: Well, it was really sweet, and like the most romantic thing ever.
[Scene: Another Waiting Room, Phoebe and Joey are trying to find out where the guy with the broken leg is.]
Phoebe: Oh, my first love!
Phoebe: (proud of herself) Oh yes, they are.
Phoebe: I cant say because hes famous.
[The next flashback is from The One With The Dozen Lasagnas, Phoebe is telling everyone but Rachel about the pass Paulo made on her.]
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: And how none of it matters when the people really love each other. (Chandler and Monica kiss.) And how people will believe anything you tell them as long as its a compliment.
Phoebe: (looking at Monica entering) Hey!
Phoebe: All right, let's see, call me mrs Hannigan.
Phoebe: Why, you don't like her?
Phoebe: Really? You think?
Phoebe: (excited) Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle. Oh, this is a cube.
[Scene: Shop, Phoebe and Rachel are talking in front of the dressing room]
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, Monica, I'm really happy you got promoted, but cold cucumber mush for thirty-something bucks? No! Rachel just had that, that, that salad, and, and Joey with his like teeny pizza! It's just...
Phoebe: You mean you stole it! (Monica sneezes again) Don't cover your mouth when you do that!
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe enters the room.]
Phoebe: Hi! Sorry, I'm late.
Amanda: (To Phoebe) Smell my neck! (Phoebe does so) It's not perfume! It's me! It's my natural scent!
Phoebe: Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is dancing around his living room as Phoebe enters, catching and startling him.]
Chandler: (excited) Guys, guys, I've got great news! Guess what Joey: Uh, ah, Monica's pregnant?! Monica: (shocked) Really? (She looks around, suddenly embarrassed) Let's get past the moment. Phoebe: What's your news? Chandler: Thank you. I got a job in advertising. (Everybody cheers) Monica: (hugging Chandler) Oh, honey, that's incredible! Phoebe: (inquisitive) Gosh, what's the pay like? (Everybody stares at her indignantly) Oh, come on people (defending) come on, now, if I don't know who makes the most, how do I know who I like the most! (She looks at Joey) Hey Joey! (Joey winks at her) Chandler: Actually, it pays nothing. It's an internship. Joey: Oh, that's cool. We have interns at 'Days Of Our Lives'. Chandler: Right. So, it'll be the same except less sex with you. (Joey nods) Ross: So, uh, what kinda stuff do you think they'll have you do there? Chandler: Well, it's a training program, but at the end, they hire the people they like. Phoebe: (enthusiastic) That's great. Chandler: Yeah, I mean, there's probably gonna be some ground work which will probably stink, you know, grown man getting people coffee is a little humiliating (At the same time, Gunther puts down a cup of coffee in front of Chandler) Chandler: (grinning awkwardly) Humiliating and noble! (Gunther shoots a nasty look at him while leaving) Ross: You know, if I didn't already have a job, I think, I would have been really good in advertising. Monica: Ross, you did not come up with "got milk?" Ross: Yes, I did, I did! (He turns to Joey, disappointed) I should have written it down!
Monica: Okay. (When Phoebe turns around Monica runs out into the hall after Mrs. Green.) Mrs. Green! Okay Im really sorry!! Im apologizing for the(She trips and falls down the stairs.) (Pause) Okay, I bit my tongue, but Im still really sorry!
Phoebe: Sorry. ..Y'know, those stupid soda people gave me seven thousand dollars for the thumb.
Phoebe: Hey! (there's a pause)
Phoebe: When I was you! Y'know what, its all Joeys fault, cause he left his nose open!
Phoebe: Ok, don’t hold thy breath!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the next morning, Rachel and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: I knew it!
Phoebe: Okay. Rachel, the hottest babies in the Tri-State Area are in this room right now! I overheard one of the judges say that not one of them holds a candle to Emma!
Phoebe: You're also so generous and kind and scrappy!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So what did you two do about it?
Phoebe: You guys, we�ve been waiting for you for a long time, maybe you should order.
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is coming up the stairs as Phoebe leaves Joey and Chandlers.]
Phoebe: Mr. X and Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: Sure, I so glad we did this. It feels so good!
Phoebe: City Hall.
Phoebe: Well, I’ll just ask for it back!
Phoebe: Yeah. See, that money was for a big wedding, that we thought we didn’t want, but it turns out we do.
Phoebe: Hey, that’s not fair! A person’s wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn’t have a graduation party! And I didn’t go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to “kill me” or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.( She storms out)
Phoebe (to Mike): Gay, go.
Phoebe: Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room.
Phoebe: Yes!! Yes!! Im the next caller! You were gonna have me hang up.
(We hear the guy telling a joke, and Phoebe laughing.)
Phoebe: Hey, buddy. Hows my favorite dog, huh? Hows my favorite dog? (the dog doesnt move) Youre subdued. (to Joey) Did you give him a beer?
Phoebe: No, yeah! The groom cannot see the bride!
Rachel: (after a pause) Phoebe, Shania Twain is still alive!
Phoebe: (to the Charity guy) We're back!
Phoebe: But... but... but we're giving you this!
Phoebe: Oh, is that you?
Phoebe: (looks at the amount on the check, and gasps) Well, this is very generous!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Oh you�ll probably take care of that on your hands.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Ooh, if you take the northern route there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees. {Okay, I must protest this, I've lived in Illinois all my life and know of no man with a beard of bees! Wisconsin, on the other hand, might be a different story.}
Monica: Well, we thought we would all go to a picnic (Phoebe gasps), in Central Park!
Phoebe: Hey Rach.
Phoebe: You're not making the pies yourself?
Phoebe: Ear plugs, or cloves of garlic?
Phoebe: (sarcastic) Oh... okay.
Phoebe: What's Emma doing today?
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Well, I was thinking...
Phoebe: Oh okay. Umm, all right. (Picks up the phone and starts reading from the script.) Hi, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please?
Phoebe: Hey.
PHOEBE: (calling from the bar on her cell phone.) Hey, Mike, it's me.� Listen, is um, is Ross near you?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Phoebe are trying to determine the cookie recipe by eating small pieces.]
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Yeah!
Phoebe: Well, she's gonna look all washed out next to the other contestants!
Rachel: Phoebe, you have to calm down.
Phoebe: Why not!
Phoebe: I can do that for the kids.