words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is recapping last season, and as she talks we see a montague of scenes from Ross and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
[Scene, The Airport, continued from last season, Rachel is waiting for Ross to come of the plane, when she sees he's coming off with another woman.]
Rachel: Oh my god. Oh my god. (She decides to make a break for it.) Excuse me. Move! Move! Emergency! Excuse me! (She tries climbing over a bench and falls down.)
Rachel: Oh, there you are! Hi! Oh, so, so, how was China, you? (Hits him with the flowers.)
Rachel: What?
Rachel: I am? Oh, look at that, yes I am. Enough about me, enough about me, Mr. Back from the Orient. Come on. I wanna hear everything! Everything. (Looks at Julie)
Ross: Well, where do I start? This is Julie. Julie, this is Rachel.
Rachel: These are, these aren't for you. (to Julie) These are for you. (Loudly, thinking she can't speak English.) Welcome to our country.
Rachel: Ok, well, not a problem. We'll just use them to stop the bleeding. Ok. Baggage claim? Ok.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.]
Rachel: (entering, out of breath) Airport, airport. Ross, not alone, Julie, arm around her. Cramp, cramp.
Rachel: (to Chandler) You, you, you said he liked me. (Ross and Julie enter) You, you slowpokes!
Rachel: (out of breath) Julie.
Rachel: And the chicken pooped in her lap. Oh, I'm so sorry. I just gave away the ending, didn't I? Oh! It's just, I just heard this story in the cab, and it is all I can think about.
Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Rachel: Bye. (She closes the door and everyone tries to sympathize with her.)
Rachel: Yeah, sure.
Rachel: Did you talk to him?
Rachel: Then, no.
Rachel: (To Ross) Here's your lemonade.
Rachel: Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.
Rachel: Go-go-go-go, come on! (Ross goes over to the counte) (to Chandler) So uh, what did you find out?
Rachel: How is that the silver lining?
Ross: (on phone) Ok, ok, sweetheart, I'll see you later. Ok, bye. What? (Sits down next to Rachel) Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. (Doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet) Well you didn't hang up either.
Rachel: She didn't hang up either!
Rachel: (taking the phone and hanging it up) Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.
Ross: Rachel! I'll just call her back.
Rachel: Okay!
Rachel: (to Monica) Ok, ok, ok. How did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. Ross was just Ross, just this guy. Now he's Rrrooossss, oh, this really great guy that I can't have.
Rachel: I know you did. I'm just gonna deal with it, I'm just gonna deal with it. (Ross comes by, smoching with Julie on the phone.) I gotta get out of here. (Exits)
Rachel: (poking her head in from her bedroom) Uh, morning. Do you guys think you could close your eyes for just a sec?
Rachel: Well, I sorta did a stupid thing last night.
Rachel: Ok, Paulo, why don't you just go get dressed, and then you be on your way, ok, bye-bye. (Paulo goes into his room.)
Monica: Rachel, how did this happen?
Rachel: I don't know, I just kinda ran into him last night.
Rachel: At his apartment. Is this juice?
Rachel: Oh God, I know I'm a pathetic loser.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, uh, he's back.
Rachel: Yeah, he's back. Is that a problem?
Rachel: Good! I'm glad it's not a problem.
Rachel: How is she?
(They go into the bedroom leaving Joey and Rachel alone.)
Rachel: I'm okay.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, then me.
Rachel: Come on. How can I just tell him? What about Julie?
Rachel: I don't know, I don't know.
Rachel: (sticking her head in from the balcony) Wait, are you leaving?
Rachel: Well, can I talk to you for a sec?
Rachel: Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all (Ross is laughing), what?
Rachel: No. No-no-no-no.
Rachel: Really?
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Rachel: No, I think that was the whole all.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Rachel: No. No no no no no. That's Rodney McDowell. Andie McDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes.
Rachel: You're welcome.
Rachel: Well where's Amanda?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there.]
Rachel: Ben yknow when uh, when you were a baby, you and I used to hang out all the time. Cause I was, I was your daddys girlfriend.
Rachel: Gunther, Gunther, please, Ive worked here for two and a half years, I know the empty trays go over there. (points to the counter.)
Rachel: Sorry.
Rachel: Y'know...
Rachel: (laughing) Ohh, that is soo sad.
Rachel: You are soo enjoying this.
Rachel: No! Come on! Dont make me go long. Use me. They never cover me.
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: No!
Rachel: Okay. (listens) Okay, daddy well see you tomorrow night. (listens) Okay bye-bye. (hangs up)
Rachel: (really confused) Okay.
Gunther: Rachel?
Rachel: I just saw Danny getting on the subway with a girl and he had his arm around her.
Rachel: (confused) Okay.
Monica: Hi Chandler. It's really nice to see you (rolls her eyes) NOT. (she and Rachel giggle a little and Chandler looks unimpressed)
Rachel: Throw in the duck too!
Rachel: Were the Cobras!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Chandler enters.]
(Rachel watches that and slowly backs out to head for home.)
Rachel: Oh, honey, that's so sweet.
Rachel: Oh my God! What happened?
Rachel: Oh, making it worse!
Rachel: Yes! And he said really mean things that were only partly true.
Rachel: Well, so then what are you doing to me? Okay? Just get out of here! All right? Move on!
Ross: Yeah. (closes the door, and goes over and kisses Rachel.)
Rachel: Yes, you have to get her something, and it should be something really nice.
Rachel: Well, he gets the other one all riled up.
[Scene: Monica, Fun Bobby, and Phoebe sitting in Central Perk Rachel is serving them. She brings a mug to Monica.]
Rachel: How come you didn't come over earlier?
Rachel: Well would you like me to lie down on the table?
Rachel: Oh Ross, you're so great. (she playfully rubs his head and gets up)
Rachel: No....
Rachel: Yes! Rent!
Rachel: What? Oh, I'm sorry, I can't, I'm busy.
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Oh, please, miss, you don't understand!
Rachel: (reading a card) Okay, your band is playing at Arnolds, collect three cool points. Which means, I have five, and that means I get Joeys boxers!
Phoebe: Oh! I'm sorry Rachel, I don't have time for your childish games, ok? I still have to go find something incredible to wear so I can beat Mike at "who's more over who"! (at which she walks away)
(He bends over to pick them up, right in front of Rachel, who then gets a free peep show.)
Rachel: Any luck?
Rachel: Aw, honey, that's so sweet.
Monica: Rachel, I have not missed one question the whole game. I own this game! Look at my hand. (Holds up her hand.)
[Cut to inside, Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
RACHEL: So don't do it.
Rachel: Thanks!
Ross: Would you excuse us for a second? (Pulls Rachel off to the side) Umm . what are you doing?
Rachel: Okay you have to realize, I was exhausted, I was emotional, I would have said yes to anybody. Like that time you and I got married! (Pause) Im not helping.
Rachel: Oh no, wait a minute, wait, I've got a presentation tomorrow. I can't miss that.
Rachel: No?
Rachel: Why? Do you have the answers written on there?
Rachel: Well, you know I'm not surprised. I mean have you seen them together, they're really cute.
Rachel: Okay, that doesnt help me, because we went to the same high school.
Rachel: You give me back my Walkman!
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. (Walks away over to Rachel.) Where is that other earring?
[Cut to Rachels office as her intercom buzzes.]
(Rachel is shocked, and holds her arms out in disbelief.)
Rachel: Okay. (They go into the living room.)
Rachel: No, no, thats OK. Y'know, I think I'm gonna give it a go.
Rachel: Wh, Ross what do you want from me? You want me, you want me to quit my job so you can feel like you have a girlfriend?
Rachel: Honey, you got a little thing on your...(points to her whole face)
RACHEL: Oh c'mon Joey, we care about you.
Ross: Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, heres what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing.
Rachel: Thats your new job, day and night, she starts crying I need you here.
Rachel: Oh God. What about you, Joe? What would you give up, sex or food?
Rachel: Why not?
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, do I wanna hear this?
Rachel: Yeah, Phoebe youre awful!
Rachel: Pheebs, you go with Monica and try on her green dress. If that doesn't work, you can wear my gray silk one. Oh, gosh, what am I wearing?!
Mark: It's okay, Rachel knows.
Rachel: Ill get the hat.
Rachel: Well then he gets a divorce, its Ross!
Rachel: No, no, no, you said, "got the keys".
Rachel: I know, I remember that!
Rachel: Because you do.
Rachel: Ross, I watched you get hypnotised in Atlantic City.
Rachel: Yeah, I mean, you should play in public!
Rachel: What?
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
Joey: (To Henrietta) My friend Rachel has a kid. I totally know nursery rhymes! (makes a thumbs up sign)
Rachel: Does it hurt?
Rachel: You shouldnt.
Rachel: (standing in her doorway) People are trying to sleep in here!
Rachel: Thank you! Hey, how'd the catering go?
Rachel: So did you break up with Joanna?
Rachel: (to Monica and Phoebe) Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me!
RACHEL: Ok, here, I know what we can do. [grabs Joey's sadwich and throws it out the window]
Rachel: Yes, and grumpy.
Rachel: All right! Ross, do you think its easy for me to see you with somebody else?
Ross: Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie
Rachel: Yes, his name is Barry, hes a doctor, thank you very much.
Rachel: Ohhhh, I cannot look at it! (She doesn't move.)
Rachel: I think you should definitely go out with this guy.
Rachel: Shell be out in a second. So, Chip, hows umm, Amy Welch?
Chandler: And uh, Rachel, glad to have you back.
Rachel: Oh God. You did. You heard. Ok, listen, let me explain.
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
Rachel: All right!
Rachel: Is he okay in there?