words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is recapping last season, and as she talks we see a montague of scenes from Ross and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
[Scene, The Airport, continued from last season, Rachel is waiting for Ross to come of the plane, when she sees he's coming off with another woman.]
Rachel: Oh my god. Oh my god. (She decides to make a break for it.) Excuse me. Move! Move! Emergency! Excuse me! (She tries climbing over a bench and falls down.)
Rachel: Oh, there you are! Hi! Oh, so, so, how was China, you? (Hits him with the flowers.)
Rachel: What?
Rachel: I am? Oh, look at that, yes I am. Enough about me, enough about me, Mr. Back from the Orient. Come on. I wanna hear everything! Everything. (Looks at Julie)
Ross: Well, where do I start? This is Julie. Julie, this is Rachel.
Rachel: These are, these aren't for you. (to Julie) These are for you. (Loudly, thinking she can't speak English.) Welcome to our country.
Rachel: Ok, well, not a problem. We'll just use them to stop the bleeding. Ok. Baggage claim? Ok.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.]
Rachel: (entering, out of breath) Airport, airport. Ross, not alone, Julie, arm around her. Cramp, cramp.
Rachel: (to Chandler) You, you, you said he liked me. (Ross and Julie enter) You, you slowpokes!
Rachel: (out of breath) Julie.
Rachel: And the chicken pooped in her lap. Oh, I'm so sorry. I just gave away the ending, didn't I? Oh! It's just, I just heard this story in the cab, and it is all I can think about.
Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Rachel: Bye. (She closes the door and everyone tries to sympathize with her.)
Rachel: Yeah, sure.
Rachel: Did you talk to him?
Rachel: Then, no.
Rachel: (To Ross) Here's your lemonade.
Rachel: Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.
Rachel: Go-go-go-go, come on! (Ross goes over to the counte) (to Chandler) So uh, what did you find out?
Rachel: How is that the silver lining?
Ross: (on phone) Ok, ok, sweetheart, I'll see you later. Ok, bye. What? (Sits down next to Rachel) Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. (Doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet) Well you didn't hang up either.
Rachel: She didn't hang up either!
Rachel: (taking the phone and hanging it up) Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.
Ross: Rachel! I'll just call her back.
Rachel: Okay!
Rachel: (to Monica) Ok, ok, ok. How did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. Ross was just Ross, just this guy. Now he's Rrrooossss, oh, this really great guy that I can't have.
Rachel: I know you did. I'm just gonna deal with it, I'm just gonna deal with it. (Ross comes by, smoching with Julie on the phone.) I gotta get out of here. (Exits)
Rachel: (poking her head in from her bedroom) Uh, morning. Do you guys think you could close your eyes for just a sec?
Rachel: Well, I sorta did a stupid thing last night.
Rachel: Ok, Paulo, why don't you just go get dressed, and then you be on your way, ok, bye-bye. (Paulo goes into his room.)
Monica: Rachel, how did this happen?
Rachel: I don't know, I just kinda ran into him last night.
Rachel: At his apartment. Is this juice?
Rachel: Oh God, I know I'm a pathetic loser.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, uh, he's back.
Rachel: Yeah, he's back. Is that a problem?
Rachel: Good! I'm glad it's not a problem.
Rachel: How is she?
(They go into the bedroom leaving Joey and Rachel alone.)
Rachel: I'm okay.
Rachel: What?
Rachel: When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, then me.
Rachel: Come on. How can I just tell him? What about Julie?
Rachel: I don't know, I don't know.
Rachel: (sticking her head in from the balcony) Wait, are you leaving?
Rachel: Well, can I talk to you for a sec?
Rachel: Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all (Ross is laughing), what?
Rachel: No. No-no-no-no.
Rachel: Really?
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Rachel: No, I think that was the whole all.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Rachel: No. No no no no no. That's Rodney McDowell. Andie McDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes.
Rachel: You're welcome.
Rachel: Hm-mm.
Rachel: Oh, good, good! We had this idea to make a birthday video for Emma and we'll give it to her when she is 18.
[Scene: after the wedding, Ross and Rachel are in the lobby]
Rachel: Yeah!!! Kill um!!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is writing a letter by the bay window as Rachel enters.]
RACHEL: Phoebe's dead.
Rachel: When did you go to a sperm bank?
Rachel: Im so sorry! Are you okay?
Rachel: Thank you! Break!
Rachel: And heels.
Rachel: Oh, I don't know. I guess it's not about no guys, it's about the right guy, y'know? I mean, with Barry, it was safe and it was easy, but there was no heat. With Paolo, that's all there was, was heat! And it was just this raw, animal, sexual...
Rachel: Thats not her name! Im sorry, she just doesnt feel like an Isabella.
Chandler: (in a manly voice) Yeah well, Im gonna go spit. (He goes into the bedroom. On his way out, Joey gives Rachel a wide berth.)
Rachel: (to Chandler) Eh, do you believe that?
Rachel: Yeah.
Rachel: What?
Gunther: Rachel?
Rachel: (entering) Hey Ross? Umm, I just ran into Caitlin in the hallway and-and uh, you must be getting better at this flirting stuff than I thought.
Rachel: I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with...
Rachel: No, hey, come on, if he asked you first, thats only fair. (leaves)
Rachel: Well Phoebe, we gotta do something! (They turn the corner.) Well, yknow. I mean theres no way Joeys gonna make it in time. So Im gonna through the hotel and see if theres any other weddings going on.
RACHEL: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
Ross: Dude. Well done. You know what? If I die, and Rachel dies and Monica dies then you can totally take care of Emma.
Rachel: Well that works out good, because I'm not listening.
Phoebe: No! Because hes in love with the British chippy! Look, Rachel, if you go, youre just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding! Yknow, its too late! You missed youre chance! Im sorry, I know this must be really hard, its over.
Rachel: Oh. Oh, its beautiful. I see it now.
RACHEL: Only 'cause you took up half the circle.
[Scene: The hallway after the party. Rachel is sitting there.]
RACHEL: No no, 'cause mayo, that would make it gross.
RACHEL: Yeah, well just be glad he's not playing a smaller instrument.
Ross: No-no, Im Im sure no one was looking. Just want some privacy. (He closes the screen and stares wide-eyed at Rachel.)
[cut to Gunther retraining Rachel.]
Rachel: Well, it is, all right? When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was: I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but MAN this would be a nice place to live!
Rachel: The fear?
Rachel: Yeah.
Gunther: Rachel?
Rachel: Fine! Im sorry for your loss! (Hands it back to her.)
Rachel: Gunther, I quit.
Rachel: Oh how can you possibly know? Look at this mess, Tag! I mean, this is what Im talking about! You have to be organized! Youve got newspapers! Youve got magazines! You gotOhh! (Finds a picture.) And who is this chippy? A little young for you Tag, but whatever.
Rachel: No.
Rachel: Thanks.
Ross: You never cooked since 1996. (Actually Rachel cooked in �609 - TOW Ross Got High�, first aired 1999-11-25.)
Rachel: (worried) Okay please, youre kidding right?! I wrote that one as a joke for you!
Rachel: Oh... okay, just hide!
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]
Monica: Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel.
Gavin: Thank god you finally said that, I saw you make a note on your pad three hours ago. (Rachel throws away that paper) Man, I really bug you, don't I?
Joey: (To Rachel) Well look, hey, it's all your fault!
Rachel: Oooh, honey, you're not a total loser.
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Rachel: Wow.
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
Rachel: Good luck.
Monica (as Rachel): ..well, why don't you tell them? After all it, is your ankle.
RACHEL: Oh I'm sorry, we're clo-... Hey sailor.
RACHEL: Hey, how'd the interview go?
Rachel: Whatyeahwhat, yknow what? I hope Emily is a lesbian.
Rachel: I know!
Rachel: Op.
Rachel: Oh yeah! (She gasps.) Oh my God! That is our friend! (Monica covers her face.) It's Naked Ross! (Monica turns and buries her face in Chandler's shoulder.)
Rachel: Oh, you got me.
Rachel: Oh God, I hate my job, I hate it, I hate my job, I hate it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are doing Phoebe's makeup.]
[cut to Monica and Rachels.]
Rachel: Oh, that sounds great.
Rachel: Well, hey! How about right above the TV? (Points to the spot where her famous French poster is hanging). That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door!
Rachel: Yes?!
Rachel: Come on Joey, I just bought you a new chair! The most expensive one in the store! Hey, yknow what I was thinking? We could name her Francette.
Rachel: Oh shoot! I work Monday nights.
(Rachel and Joey both laugh at that suggestion.)
Rachel: What!?
Rachel: To be nice.
Rachel: Uh-huh!
Rachel: I know!
Rachel: (entering, to Ross) The most unbelievable thing happened to me today.
Rachel: Hi! Uhh, do you guys have plans for the weekend? Because I have my sister on hold, and she said that we could use her cabin for the weekend and go skiing. Huh? Im asking you first, right?!. I mean Im playing by the rules.
Rachel: Uh-huh... why... do you not like them?
Rachel: Y'know, it was, uh.. it was actually really great. He took me to lunch at the Russian Tea Room, and I had that chicken, where y'know you poke it and all the butter squirts out...
[Rachel hits some tom-toms and ends up on the 'crash'-cymbal, which is in fact a ride-cymbal, but whatever...]
Rachel: Okay... Hey listen, just before you go I-I again, I just wanna say "thank you" for coming with me.
Rachel: Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. (to Phoebe) Is this actually a lunchbox?
RACHEL: Hi. Well hey, you don't - you don't think they're kind of cool?
Rachel: I mean thats unbelievable.
Rachel: Thats all right.
Rachel: I don't know! I mean, what brought that on?
Ross: Come here. (he hugs Rachel) Listen, you deserve so much better than him...you know, I mean, you, you, you should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.
Rachel: So, how are you?
Rachel: Music. Very nice.
Rachel: Oh yeah, whats it about?
PHOEBE: Ok Rachel, make a special flan wish.
Gunther: What does Rachel see in this guy? I love Rachel. I wish she was my wife.
Rachel: Chandler! Youre smoking? What are you doing?!
Rachel: (deadpan) Oh look who it is, my husband. The apple of my eye.
Rachel: Well maybe hes just taking a nap.
Rachel: Yeah, and you dont mind if I call, because you only want good things for me.
Rachel: What? He said 'we should do it again', that's good, right?
Phoebe: Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?
Rachel: So honey, what are you gonna do about the little girl?
Rachel: I'm going commando, too.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Ross are eating Chinese.]